Doublecrossed (10 page)

*

At three o’clock she called her mom at work and give her a little while to digest the news. “Hi mom, it’s Callie.”

“What’s wrong?”

Slightly annoyed that she couldn’t ever talk to her mother without her assuming something cataclysmic had happened, she said, “Nothing. Well, I guess that’s not true. Marina and I are breaking up and I wanted to get away for a while.”

“Come home!” It was more a demand than an offer, but Callie was glad to get it.

“I am home. I got here a little while ago. Want me to make dinner?”

“No, of course not. I’ll make dinner. Now take a nap or go for a walk or something. I’ll be home soon and you can tell me all about it.”

Even though she knew she should insist on doing something productive, Callie was quite pleased to get a little maternal pampering. She knew she was in desperate need of it, so she decided to relax and enjoy it.

*

Surprisingly, Patricia showed up with pizza. She hustled in through the side door, carrying her purse, a briefcase and a big box that she was trying to keep horizontal.

Callie heard her and dashed into the kitchen, taking the box from her hands. As she put it down on the table, her mother’s arms were around her and, unexpectedly, she started to cry, something she couldn’t recall doing in front of her mother in her adult life.

“Oh, my poor girl. Tell me what happened.”

She gently pulled away and scanned the kitchen for a box of Kleenex which she found on the counter. She took a few and blew her nose. “Why don’t you go change clothes and I’ll get dinner ready.” Patricia looked like she wanted to argue, but she gave her daughter a quick kiss and went towards the bedroom.

By the time Patricia returned, Callie had set out plates and napkins and utensils and there were two pieces of pizza on each plate. “This looks great, Mom.”

“Emily told me about this place and it’s so good I find myself stopping there at least once a week on the way home. I knew you’d like it too.”

“That was nice of you. Pizza is comfort food for me.” She took a bite and smiled in satisfaction. “This is fantastic. This alone was worth the trip.”

The pleasant atmosphere lasted for just another few seconds. “Marina didn’t cheat on you, did she?”

Callie had sworn she was not going to get into details, but the look on her face must have given her away.

Patricia slapped her hand onto the table in outrage. “A woman! A woman did this to you! How can that be?”

“Women are jerks too, Mom.”

“Oh, Callie, I was so happy when you told me you’d fallen in love with a woman. I was sure a woman would be able to keep it in her pants.”

“Marina couldn’t.”

“Then good riddance! Thank God you found out before you had children.”

“We didn’t even share a checking account. We were a long way from having children.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you had the sense to leave. I just can’t believe a woman did this to you,” she muttered, looking completely perplexed. “But I’m proud of you for throwing her out.”

“I threw myself out. It’s her apartment.”

“Nonetheless”—Patricia looked into her eyes—“I know how hard it is to break up with someone you love. It takes a lot of guts to have a moral code you stick to, even when it’s hard.” She took Callie’s hand in hers and chafed it lovingly. “It was hard, wasn’t it, baby?”

“Yes.” Callie broke down in tears, ashamed that she’d given Marina so many chances, but a little glimmer of pride burned in her chest at having finally stood up for herself.

*

She could hold out for only three days. Her mom was solicitous and sympathetic, but thinking about Marina and their unfinished business kept her awake at night. She finally made a reservation and went back to Dallas, getting there while Marina was at work.

Even though it was expensive, she went to a packing supplies place and bought proper boxes for her things. It was somehow less humiliating than cadging them from the grocery store. She’d lost track of time and started when she heard Marina’s key in the door. Her heart was racing and her stomach turned when Marina burst into the room, arms extended. “I’ve missed you!”

Callie blocked her hug with her forearms. Marina almost stumbled, catching herself by sticking an arm out and using the wall for support. “Why’d you do that?” She looked hurt. Very hurt.

“I did that because I know the truth about Angela.” Again, her stomach threatened a revolt. “I know you’ve been with her almost since we got together.”

Marina blanched, and that alone made Callie feel empowered. Now she’d know how it felt to be kicked with no warning.

Marina backed up and slowly kicked off her heels, then removed her jacket. She looked strangely contemplative, thoughtful. When she turned back, she swallowed noticeably. “Okay. I can’t argue with the truth. How did you find out?”

“Immaterial. It’s the truth and you just admitted it.” She grabbed another box and put her printer in it, wadding up newsprint to cushion it.

Marina extended a hand, but Callie swatted it away. “It’s over. You don’t get to touch me anymore.”

“Oh, Callie. Come on.” She sat down on the desk chair, her legs spread apart in a very ungainly, uncharacteristic way. She looked nothing like a powerful businesswoman today. “Give me a chance.”

“I did. I gave you a chance when I first learned about her. If you’d told me the truth then…”

“Shit.” She leaned over and rested her head on her folded arms.

She looked so defeated, Callie felt a momentary pull on her heartstrings, but she fought that off. “Yeah. That’s just what I said when I found out.”

“But look at the context. That’s what matters.” She swiveled out to the side and put her arms on her thighs, gazing at Callie with new determination.

“Nonsense. There’s no context for lying.”

“Sure there is. This was just about business. If you hadn’t found out this would never have come up.” Confidence radiated from her face. “Was I less interested in you because of her? No! Did you ever want to have sex and I turned you down? Of course not. I was always there for you when I was home. How does what I did away from home affect you?”

Continuing to slap tape onto the next box, Callie scoffed, “Stupid question. Really stupid.”

“It’s not!”

She stopped and stared at her. “It is, Marina. Lying is bad for relationships. Especially when the lies started before I’d unpacked. How could you do that?” Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry. She doesn’t deserve your tears.

“Here’s the context.” Her voice had taken on the slow, calm manner she had when she’d practiced a client presentation. Clear, concise and full of shit. “We were at some offsite conference, and we’d both had too much to drink. We were in…” She appeared to think for a few seconds. “Las Vegas. Of course, it was Las Vegas. We’d been out with some vendors, and they took us to see a show. They were mortified when the show had a dozen mostly naked women in it and kept apologizing. On the way back to our rooms, Angela let something slip about how hot the women were. I took a chance and said none of them were my type.” She smiled in memory, the simple act making Callie want to bean her. “I said I preferred a woman in a great fitting suit.”

“Which Angela was wearing.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Of course. Like you’d ever give a compliment that didn’t buy you something.

“So she admitted she was gay and we…you know.” Marina almost looked contrite.

“That’s all it took,” Callie said flatly. “Just a willing lesbian.”

“No, not at all. I’d been interested in her for over a year. I just didn’t think it was smart to start something up with someone who was farther up the chain. She made it feel safe.”

It was a guess, but it was probably right. It could be sold with conviction. “You and I were already together. Didn’t that enter into your thought process?”

“Sure. Of course it did.”

What a scummy excuse for a girlfriend. What had I been smoking to put up with this? Am I blind in every area of my life? “Tell me how. I dare you.”

“Look.” Marina stood up and started pacing, hand on hip. “I figured she was kinda…grandfathered in. I’d been interested in her long before I even met you. And, frankly, I thought it could help my career. When I get promoted to vice president, it will be great for us, Callie. I’ll be making serious money.”

“Money?” Her cheeks felt scalding hot. “How does your money affect me?”

“Well, once I start making serious money, I can pay for more things. I asked you to come to Acapulco. I was gonna pay for the whole thing.”

“Right.” She went back to her box-building.

“I would have been more generous. I really would have.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” She plunked down on the floor right beside the new box. “We’ve been together long enough that I feel more secure with you. More like this is permanent.”

“I don’t feel that way.” She whipped the box away and moved it to her other side. “I’m packing my things and taking off.”

“Come on.” Marina got to her knees and scrambled around Callie. “Don’t shut me out. Listen to me.”

“You’re free to talk. No one’s stopping you.”

“After we slept together I realized it was a mistake.”

“Nice timing. So you kept at it for eighteen months to make it right?”

“No. Once we did it, I had to let her decide when to end it.” She made a face. “She sucked in bed. She said her girlfriend was the one who wasn’t any good, but I think it was her.”

She could be killed, dismembered and packed in the new boxes. No one would miss her. The thought made a spark of pleasure roll down Callie’s back. She took a long breath, trying to keep her voice calm. “I don’t want to hear how she justified it. That’s irrelevant.”

“No, it’s not. She was starved for sex. She said her girlfriend was a complete dud and that she didn’t get off on her at all. But she wanted to stay because she loved her in every other way.” She sat back on her heels, blinking. “Why you’d want to stay with someone who wasn’t good in bed is beyond me, but that’s what she said. So she wanted to keep me around to blow off some steam. That’s why I had to keep doing it. I swear, I didn’t like it!”

Callie sat down so they were eye to eye. “The fact that you don’t understand why that makes you a user is part of the problem.” With the flat of her hand she smacked Marina’s temple. “Your head is empty of morals!”

“It is not.” She scooted back, just out of Callie’s reach. She was almost sulking. “You’re the one who tried to get me to agree to things that made no sense.”

“Like honesty and being true to your word?”

“No. I tried to be honest. I told you how hard it would be for me to get permission before I had sex with someone. You were warned.”

“And you told me you’d do it.”

“I tried. It just wasn’t possible. What was I supposed to do? Meet a woman at O’Hare and tell her I had to call home before I could go to her hotel? That’s ridiculous.”

“How many others?” There had clearly been others. But acting upset about it would make her clam up.

“Not that many.” Marina had that look on her face. The I’m-lying look. It was always the same. Too earnest. Too sincere.

“So you lied since the first day and haven’t stopped.”

“It’s not a lie if it doesn’t hurt anyone. Being honest was the problem. Hiding it let me have what I wanted and you have what you wanted—some control over my libido.”

“Yeah, that was some control.”

“You wanted security. Lying gave that to you.” She gazed up at Callie with what looked like complete confidence in her claim.

“You’re a pathological liar, and I regret the day we met.”

Marina started crawling across the floor on her knees again. “Please don’t say that.”

Callie got up and stuck her foot into Marina’s chest, stopping her in her tracks. “Keep your distance. We’re done. Finished. Forever. You can bank on my promises, and that’s one I’ll never renege on.”

Temporarily ensconced at her friend Pam’s house, Callie waited a couple of days to call Regan. Telling her the whole truth wasn’t an option. If it was true that Angela had learned her lesson, Regan’s finding out about the duration of the affair would screw things up. Regan was taking things slowly, being very careful not to forgive too easily. She’d find out soon enough if Angela was as full of it as Marina was.

Regan was just getting home when Callie reached her. “Hi, it’s Callie.”

“Hey, how are you?” She sounded a little better. A little lighter.

“I’m pretty good. I wanted to tell you something.”

The sound of a chair scraping across a floor echoed in the background. “What is it?”

“I…decided to break up with Marina.”

“Oh, Callie, I’m sorry.” After a beat she asked sharply, “Did something else happen?”

She had to give her something. But she had to focus on Marina. “Yes, I found out that Marina’s been cheating with other women too. But the worst thing is that she honestly doesn’t see that what she did was hurtful. That’s more than I could take.”