“Jonas,” she said, poking his upper arm.
“Mmm” was his sleepy reply.
“Wake up.”
“Mmm.”
Realizing she had little choice but to physically help him into the house and into bed, Zoey reached across him to unlock the passenger side door. When she did, she thought she felt him brush his hand against her breast, and she straightened with a quick gasp. But Jonas still seemed to be fast asleep in his seat, so she only narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.
She got out of the car, rounded to the passenger side, pulled the door open and unsnapped his safety belt.
“Jonas,” she repeated, this time a little more forcefully.
“Mmm.”
“Wake up.”
“Mmm.”
She rolled her eyes heavenward, hauled him out of his seat without even trying to be gentle and slung his arm around her neck while circling her own around his waist. This was crazy, she thought. Nobody slept this soundly, not even exhausted fathers.
She kicked the car door closed and stumbled with her burden to the front door, where she encountered another problem. The front door was locked. Eyeing Jonas’s pants pockets, Zoey frowned. She was going to have to go in there. She leaned him heavily against her, tightened her hold on his waist and dug into his front pocket.
She thought she heard him giggle, thought he twitched a little
too
much for someone who was fast asleep. And when she brushed her fingers along something that most certainly was
not
his key ring, she thought she heard him groan. But by the time she finally closed her hand over his keys and extracted them from his pocket, she decided she must have imagined the small sound. Surely it had just been the wind.
Once inside the house, she decided it would be foolish to even try to get Jonas up the stairs to his room. So she dragged him back to his den, dropped both their bodies to the sofa and tried not to remember that this was exactly where their one sexual encounter had begun more than a month before. She turned loose of him, trying to get him into a horizontal position, but the more she struggled to make him release her, the tighter his hold on her seemed to become.
“Jonas,” she said again.
“Mmm.”
“You’ve got to let go of me.”
“Mmm...mmmake me.”
He opened one eye and smiled at her, and she knew he’d been awake all along. But instead of feeling angry, she wanted to smile back at him. Fortunately, she was able to control the action, and instead pretended to be put out as she pushed him down on the sofa.
“So you
were
copping a feel out in the car, weren’t you?” she said as she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Why not?” he rejoined. “You were copping a feel at the front door.”
Zoey opened her mouth to deny the charge, realized there was some validity to it, then decided it might be best to remain silent, after all.
Jonas smiled up at her from the sofa, wishing she were lying there with him instead of standing so very, very far away. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he reached out his hand and joined it with hers, then tugged her back down to sit beside him. She squirmed a little, but made no effort to move away. Even when he snaked one arm around her waist and twined the fingers of his free hand with hers, she didn’t try to escape.
“Thanks,” he said simply.
“For what?”
“For bringing me home. For coming to the hospital. For staying with me all night long. For worrying about Juliana.”
Zoey shrugged, but he could see the gesture was in no way careless.
“I...it was impossible not to,” she told him. “When Jeannette called and told me what had happened, it never occurred to me
not
to come to the hospital to be with you. I just felt like I belonged there, too.” She dropped her gaze to the floor as she added, “I don’t know why.”
“I do.”
She lifted her gaze to meet his, but Jonas didn’t elaborate. Instead he said, “Juliana has no idea what she put us through tonight, does she?”
Zoey shook her head. “Kids never do. But I’m sure you’ll tell her all about it one day. That first night she goes out with a boy you don’t approve of and stays out past curfew.”
Jonas grinned, but turned his hand to study how perfectly Zoey’s fitted inside it. “Yeah, I’ll lay on the guilt trip, regaling her with stories about how her mother and I—”
He stopped speaking abruptly when he realized what he’d said, but knew it was too late when Zoey tried to free her fingers from his and move away. He kept his arm wound tightly around her, however, and refused to let go of her hand. He wouldn’t let her escape from him this time as easily as he had before. She’d become far too important to him, and he knew without question that he and Juliana were important to her. They needed each other, the three of them did. He only wished he knew what to do to make Zoey understand that.
“Zoey,” he began. Then he realized he had no idea what he had intended to say.
“I’m not her mother, Jonas,” she told him, her voice measured, quiet and razor sharp.
“Maybe not. But you should be.”
He couldn’t help but speak the words, so strongly did he feel they were the truth. And when Zoey only dropped her gaze to the floor in silence, neither agreeing with nor contradicting his remark, he pulled her down to him and kissed her.
At first she halfheartedly balled her fists against his chest and refused to kiss him back. Then suddenly, like a wild animal gone too long without food, she returned his kiss with a fervor that threatened to consume him. She moved her body over his, tangled her fingers in his hair, slanted her open mouth across his and tasted him so deeply he could feel her reaching into his very soul.
Jonas didn’t question the fever that seemed to overtake her. He only welcomed it. Welcomed it and returned it with a fire to rival its heat. He threaded his fingers through her hair, and when he realized the long tresses were still wound into a loose braid, fumbled down its length until he found and freed the bit of elastic that bound the plait together. Then he moved his fingers to her waist, pulled her sweatshirt up over her torso and head and tossed the garment into a heap of red on the floor. Her T-shirt came next, and he groaned out loud when he realized she wasn’t wearing a brassiere.
Half-naked, Zoey straddled him, and only then seemed to realize what was happening. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders to effectively hide her nudity, but her chest rose and fell as she tried to calm her ragged breathing, offering him brief glimpses of her tender flesh. He waited for her to jump up and flee from him, expected her to gather her clothes and run from his house as if her life were in danger. But she only looked at him for a moment, then touched her finger to his throat, then to his chin, and finally to his mouth.
“We need to talk,” she said softly. “But we can do it later.”
And with that, she lowered her hand to the buttons of his shirt and unfastened them one by one. When she reached the last, she spread the soft cotton fabric open and twined her fingers in the dark hair on his chest. She found a flat, coppery nipple and rubbed her thumb across it, then lowered herself to lave the area with her tongue. Jonas sucked in a long, uneven breath and settled his hands on her waist. For a long time, he could only try to keep his breathing under control while she suckled him. But when she skimmed her fingernails along his abdomen to dip them inside the waistband of his trousers, he began to have some difficulty maintaining that control.
Within seconds, she had freed him and cradled him in her hand. She teased the heated length of him with her fingers, playing havoc with his senses. Jonas tried to lie still and not go crazy, because he knew the slightest movement from him would only intensify her ministrations. Carefully, he cupped his palms over her fanny, then glided his hands between her denim-clad thighs to explore her as intimately as she explored him. Even through the heavy fabric, he could feel her becoming damp and warm as a result of his touch, and he rejoiced to discover she was as aroused as he. When she sat up straight to facilitate his investigation, he splayed his open hand over her bare back and pulled her down to him again.
Her breast hovered near his mouth, so he lifted his head to taste her, moving the heavy globe closer with one hand while he continued to drive her nether regions mad with the other. Zoey lengthened her body until she lay fully atop him, holding herself over him on her elbows, content to wait until he finished with what he was doing.
But Jonas didn’t seem to want to finish. He took his time curling his tongue over first one breast and then the other, working his hands casually in between their warm bodies to unfasten her jeans. Zoey shifted her position long enough to tug them down and off with her panties, and was back with Jonas before the discarded clothing hit the floor.
After that, Jonas did seem to be in a hurry. Without even removing his clothing, he sat up with Zoey in his lap facing him, matching her touch for touch and gasp for gasp. And then, suddenly, he was inside her. Gloriously, heatedly inside her, filling her in places she hadn’t realized were empty until that moment. She wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him even more deeply inside, and they groaned their need as one, both having gone too long without that most basic of human necessities—love.
Zoey lifted herself from Jonas only slightly, then lowered herself onto him again, sighing with the sense of repletion the action brought with it. Over and over, she rose and fell, driving him more deeply, more resolutely, more irrevocably, into herself. Just when she thought she was as full as she would ever be, Jonas levered their bodies until they had switched positions, and he was the one who controlled the pace.
Had she truly thought she could bring him no closer? she wondered faintly as he pushed himself still farther inside her. It was as if the two of them became one with his next thrust, as if they would never be able to separate one from the other again. And that was when it finally occurred to Zoey just how true that was. The two of them were one. Had become one the first time they’d made love, and would stay one forever.
As soon as she recognized the fact, Jonas carried her away, off to a place like none she’d ever visited before. As he exploded inside her like lightning striking dry wood, and as she shuddered around him with the ferocity of a storm-tossed ocean crashing against the welcoming shore, Zoey lost all recognition of her physical surroundings. As the two of them slowly descended from their tempestuous union, all she could do was feel.
And it struck her that she was feeling something she hadn’t felt for a very long time, something she almost didn’t recognize, something she had nearly forgotten. Good. Zoey felt good. For the first time in nearly twenty years, she could find none of the hollowness that had always been present inside her. That cold, vacant emptiness in her heart, in her soul, was gone. Somehow, Jonas had filled all the dark, scary places. Filled them with his love for her.
And with her love for him.
“I love you.”
Zoey didn’t realize that she was the one who spoke the words until Jonas answered her.
“I love you, too,” he said softly, tightening his arms around her. “It’s about time you came around and admitted it.”
She smiled at him. “It’s about time I did a lot of things.”
He kissed her temple and wound a length of her hair around his finger. “Like what?”
There was so much, she thought, too much for her to ever begin explaining to him, so she only said, “Like put the past behind me and get on with my life.”
Jonas studied a freckle over Zoey’s right breast that he could swear tasted like strawberries and sighed. Now was the time to ask her, he thought. While she was mellow and rosy and presumably feeling as contented as he.
“I don’t suppose you might have room in that life for more than one?” he asked experimentally. He lifted his gaze to meet hers. “Would you?”
Zoey squeezed him hard as she replied, “Well, maybe. If there are only two of you and one of you weighs less than fifteen pounds.”
He smiled. “You know, there could be more than two of us. You and I sort of forgot something again.”
She smiled back. “Maybe you did. But I didn’t.”
“Then you were planning on this happening and took precautions?” he asked, unable to keep the disappointment from clouding his voice.
Her smile broadened. “No, I had no idea this was going to happen. I only meant I remembered, but I didn’t do anything about it. On purpose.”
Jonas was afraid to believe what he was hearing. “Then you
do
want to have another child.”
The sound she uttered was at once sad and hopeful and happy. “I guess I’ve wanted another child since shortly after Eddie was born. I’ve just been afraid...of so many things.”
“And you’re not afraid anymore?”
She cupped her palm gently over one of his cheeks while she pressed her mouth softly against the other. When she pulled back, she felt a single warm tear trace its way down her temple and into her hair. “Yeah, I’m still afraid,” she told him. “I don’t know that there will ever be a time when I’m not. But now I don’t have to face my fears alone, do I?”
Jonas stroked his hand over her hair and bent his head to kiss away the damp trail of her tear. “No,” he told her. “You’ll never have to face anything alone again. Jules and I will always be here for you, no matter what happens.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
Maybe Zoey believed that, and maybe she didn’t. But for now, she had happiness. Complete, wonderful, honest happiness. Even if it wound up being only short-lived, it was far better than the false life she’d been leading for so long.
“It will be forever, Zoey,” Jonas told her, as if she’d uttered her thoughts aloud. “I promise.”
And somehow, Zoey decided, that was all she needed to hear.
T
he maternity ward was busy the morning Zoey delivered her twins, Leo and Lucy. Jonas had paced and worried throughout the night like the typical expectant father, and three-year-old Juliana had asked all kinds of questions about what her new baby brother and sister would be like. Olivia had made frequent visits to Zoey’s delivery room during her shift, and afterward had stood vigil in the waiting room with Daniel and Simon and two-year-old Samantha, and Sylvie and Chase and Genevieve. What, only a few years ago, had been a trio of friends had become an extended family of twelve.
At the end of the day, when the men took their children down to the snack bar to ply them with hot dogs and soft drinks, the three women stood outside the nursery, looking through the glass at the multitude of babies, each recalling her own with a proud and loving heart. But they spoke of the newest additions to the circle, the tiny baby boy and girl who lay squirming in side-by-side bassinets labeled “Tate,” their red faces screwed up into matching squalls, their hands and feet moving slowly about, as if they couldn’t get used to the big, wide world outside the womb.
“Boy, are they in for a surprise,” Sylvie said as she flattened her palms against the glass.
“What do you mean?” Zoey asked.
“Just think about everything that’s going to happen to them,” she clarified. “They’re just twelve hours old. Their lives have literally just begun. In thirty-something years, they’ll be where we are. And think of all the weird stuff that comes in between.”
Olivia nodded. “It’s going to go by fast, too. I can’t believe Simon’s five years old and Sam is already two. It just doesn’t seem like that much time has gone by since Daniel and I got married.”
“And Gennie’s three,” Sylvie added. “It almost seems impossible.” She paused for only a moment before adding, “And you know what else seems impossible, but is true nonetheless?”
“What?” the other women chorused.
Sylvie’s eyes fairly sparkled with laughter as she announced, “Chase and I are expecting again. I’m fourteen weeks along.”
Her sister and friend cried out their delight.
“That’s wonderful!” Zoey exclaimed.
Olivia hugged her sister hard in congratulations. “But I thought you were having problems. I mean, after all, that’s what got you and Chase together to begin with. According to your doctor, the batteries in your biological clock were about to run down.”
“Yeah, well, I guess doctors don’t know everything, do they?” Sylvie asked.
Zoey and Olivia expelled identical sounds of heartfelt agreement.
“You got that right,” Zoey said.
“Amen,” Olivia conceded. A quiet moment passed before she added, “I wasn’t going to say anything yet, but now that Sylvie’s set the stage, I might as well. Daniel and I are pregnant again, too. Due in eight months.”
“No way!” Sylvie cried.
“Way!” Olivia mimicked.
“Oh, boy, this is gonna be great,” Sylvie said with a smile. “Babies busting out all over. Who would have thought ten years ago that the three of us would be responsible for so many new lives in the world?”
“Yeah, the World Health Organization is going to start sending us nasty letters if we don’t stop overpopulating the planet,” Zoey added with a laugh.
“Oh, let ‘em,” Olivia said with a negligent wave of her hand. “Our kids are so smart, they’re going to solve all the problems of the world when they grow up.”
“Speak for yourself,” Sylvie interjected. “Mine are going to be rabble-rousers. I’ve already decided.”
“Rabble-rousers and saxophone players,” Chase added as he came up behind his wife. He held Genevieve in his arms, but the little girl reached for her mother, and Sylvie took her with a smile. “Look at those fingers,” he added, touching the tiny hand to his own. “Definitely the hands of a musician.”
“A piano player,” Sylvie told him.
Chase shook his head. “Tenor sax. Mark my words.”
“Simon’s going to be a carpenter, like his old man,” Daniel added as he joined them. Simon held fast to his right hand, little Samantha toddling along, gripping his left. “And Sam... Well, I’m not sure. She’s the Bohemian one. She’ll probably be a poet.”
“She can write the lyrics to Gennie’s songs,” Chase decided.
“What about Jules and Lucy and Leo?” Zoey asked Jonas as he and Juliana joined the others. “The other fathers seem to have charted their children’s futures. Have you made any plans for ours?”
Jonas looked at the little girl who hugged him tight, then through the glass at the newest additions to his family. “They can all be whatever they want,” he said softly. “I never imagined I’d wind up with such a beautiful, wonderful family. At this point, I’m open to whatever comes along.”
Zoey nodded her approval. “Well said.”
“But it might be nice to have another doctor in the family. Or a lawyer. Or a plumber. God knows you never can tell when you’ll need one of those.”
Zoey shook her head at him, but smiled. “As long as none of them is a Republican.”
Jonas moved forward to stand beside her, marveling again at the two new lives they had created together. If he lived to be one hundred years old, he didn’t think he’d ever experience another moment like the one he had shared with his wife after their twins had been born. Never. And the knowledge that a part of both of them had worked together to create such a miracle stunned him still. He looked at Juliana, who had tilted her head to the side to study her new brother and sister with a critical eye. He looked at Lucy and Leo. Then he looked at Zoey. No one,
no one,
could be as fortunate and blessed as he.
“You did good,” he whispered into Zoey’s ear as he tangled his fingers with hers.
“
We
did good,” she corrected him with a soft smile. She kissed his cheek and leaned against him, feeling exhausted and euphoric and utterly amazed.
“Oh, Zoey,” Olivia said as she pressed her face to the glass to eye the twins again, “you can’t imagine how much those little babies are going to change your life. I mean, Jules was three and a half months old when you met her. Unless you’ve experienced it for yourself, you just can’t imagine the trials and wonders and delights that await you when a newborn comes into the house.”
Zoey smiled, recalling another newborn she had known so many years ago, contemplating the two new ones on the other side of the glass. She felt at once sad, wistful and joyous. “I think I can imagine, Livy,” she said softly. “And I think we’re going to be just fine.” She squeezed Jonas’s hand hard before adding, “All of us. We’re all going to be just fine.”
* * * * *