Dragonlance 15 - Dragons Of A Fallen Sun (62 page)

"I'm sorry, Tas," Palin said finally, and his voice was tight as

the lines on his face. "1 was upset. I was frightened. Jenna was

quite angry with me. After you left, she said she didn't blame you

for running. She was right. I should have explained things to you

calmly and rationally. I shouldn't have yelled at you. After what

I saw, I panicked."

He looked down at Tas and sighed deeply. "Tas, I wish there

was some other way. You have to understand. I'll try to explain this

as best I can. You were meant to die. And because you haven't died,

it is possible that this is the reason all these terrible things that have

happened to the world have happened. To put it another way, if

you were dead, the world might be the world you saw the first

time you came back to my father's funeral. Do you understand?"

"No," said Tas.

Palin regarded the kender with obvious disappoinment. "I'm

afraid I can't explain it any better than that. Perhaps you and

Goldmoon and I should discuss it. You don't need to run away

again. I won't force you to go back."

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, Palin," Tas returned, "but

you can't force me to do anything. I have the device, and you

don't."

Palin regarded the kender with deepening gravity, then sud-

denly and unexpectedly he smiled. The smile was not quite a

whole smile, more a quarter-smile, for it lifted the comers of his

thin lips and didn't come anywhere near his unhappy eyes, but it

was a start.

"That is true, Tas," he said. "You do have the device. You

know yourself what is right. You know that you made a promise

to Fizban and that he trusted you to keep that promise."

Palin paused, then said quietly. "Were you aware, Tas, that

Caramon spoke at your funeral?"

"He did?" Tas was astonished. "I didn't even know I had a fu-

neral! I just figured there probably wouldn't be much of me left,

except a bit of goo between the giant's toes. What did Caramon

say? Was there a big turnout? Did Jenna bring cheese puffs?"

"There was an immense turnout," Palin said. "People came

from allover Ansalon to pay their respects to a heroic kender. As

for my father, he called you' a kender among kender.' He said

that you exemplifed all that was best in the kender race: you were

noble, self-sacrificing, brave, and, above all, honorable."

"Maybe Caramon was wrong about me," Tas said uneasily,

glancing at Palin out of the comer of his eyes.

"Maybe he was," Palin said.

Tas didn't like the way Palin was looking at him, as (if he were

shriveling into something icky, like a squished cocktoach. He

didn't know what to do or say-an unusual feeling for him. He

couldn't recall ever having had this feeling before, and he hoped

he never would again. The silence grew stretched, until Tas was

afraid that if one of them let loose, the silence would snap back

and smack someone in the face. He was therefore quite thankful

when a commotion sounded on the stairs, distracting Palin and

easing the tense silence.

"First Master!" Lady Camilla called. "We thought we heard

your voice. Someone said they saw a kender come up here-"

Reaching the head of the stairs, she caught sight of Gold-

moon.

"First Master!" The Knight stopped dead in her tracks and

stared. The Citadel guards bunched up behind her, staring and

gaping.

This was Tas's opportunity to head for freedom again. No one

would try to stop him. No one was paying the least attention to

him. He could slip past them all and run away. Almost certainly

the gnome Conundrum had some sort of sailing vessel. Gnomes

always had sailing vessels. Sometimes they had flying vessels, as

well, and sometimes they had vessels that both flew and sailed,

although this generally resulted in an explosion.

Yes, thought Tas, eyeing the stairs and the people standing

there with their mouths open. That's what I'll do. I'll go. Right

now. I'm running. Any moment now. My feet will start to run.

But his feet had other ideas, apparently, because they stayed

pretty much firmly attached to the floor.

Perhaps his feet were thinking the same thing as his head. His

head was thinking about what Caramon had said. Those words

were almost the very same words he'd heard people say about

Sturm Brightblade, about Tanis Half-Elven. And they'd said those

words about him! Tasslehoff Burrfoot! He felt a warm glow in the

vicinity of his heart, and, at the same time, he felt another kind of

glow around his stomach. A much more uncomfortable glow, a

sort of gurgling glow, as if he'd eaten something that disagreed

with him. He wondered if it could be the oatmeal.

"Excuse me, Goldmoon,1I Tas said, interrupting the gaping

and staring and general stupidity that was taking place around

him. liDo you think I could go inside your room and lie down?

I'm not feeling very well."

Goldmoon drew herself up. Her face was pale, cold. Her voice

was bitter. I'll knew it would be like this. I knew you would look

upon me as some sort of sideshow at a fair."

"Forgive me, First Master,"Lady Camilla said, her own face

crimson with shame. She lowered her gaze. "I beg your pardon.

It's just. . . this miracle. . ."

"It is not a miracle!" Goldmoon said in sharp tones. She lifted

her head and something of her regal presence, her noble spirit,

flashed from her. I'll am sorry for all the trouble I have caused,

Lady Camilla. I know that I have brought pain to many. Please

carry word to all in the Citadel that they need worry for me no

longer. I am well. I will come among them presently, but first I

want to speak to my friends in private.1I

"0f course, I will be happy to do whatever you ask, First

Master," Lady Camilla said, and though she tried her best not to

stare, she could not help but gaze with astonishment at the amaz-

ing change that had come over Goldmoon.

Palin coughed meaningfully.

Lady Camilla blinked. "I am sorry, First Master. It's just-"

She shook her head, helpless to put her confused thoughts

into words. Turning away, yet with one more backward glance, as

if to reassure herself that what she saw was real, she hastened

down the spiral stairs. The Citadel guards, after a moment's hes-

itation, turned to run down after the Knight. Tas could hear their

voices loudly exclaiming over the "miracle."

"They will all be like that" Goldmoon said in anguish, re-

turning thoughtfully to her chambers. "They will all stare at me

and exclaim and wonder." She shut the door swiftly behind them,

leaned against it.

"You can hardly blame them, First Master," said Palin.

"Yes. I know. That's one reason I kept myself locked inside

this room. I had hoped that when the change first happened it

would be . . . temporary." Goldmoon gestured. "Please sit down.

We have much to discuss, it seems."

Her chambers were plainly furnished, contained a bed made

of a simple wood frame, a writing desk, handwoven rugs upon

the floor, and a large number of soft cushions scattered about. A

lute stood in one comer. The only other article of furniture-a tall

standing mirror-lay toppled on the floor. The broken gla~ had

been swept into a neat pile.

"What happened to you, First Master?" Palin asked. "Was this

transformation magical in nature?"

"I don't know! I wish I could find an explanation!" she

said helplessly. "The transformation occurred the night of the

thunderstorm."

"The storm," Palin murmured and glanced at Tas. "Many

strange things happened during that storm, seemingly. The

kender arrived the night of the storm."

"The rain drummed on the rooL" Goldmoon continued, as

if she hadn't heard. "The wind howled and beat against the

crystal as if it would smash it in. A brilliant lightning flash lit

up the entire room more brightly than the brightest sunshine. It

was so bright that it blinded me. For a time, I could see nothing

at all. The blindness passed in a moment. I saw my reflectiort in

the mirror.

"I . . . I thought a stranger was in the room. I turned, but there

was no one there. It was then, when I turned back, that I recognized

myself. Not as I had been, not gray and wrinkled and old, but

young. Young as on my wedding day. . ."

She closed her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"The crash they heard below," Palin said. "You broke the

mirror.

"Yes!" Goldmoon cried, her fists clenched. "I was so close to

reaching him, Palin! So near! Riverwind and I would have been

together soon. He has waited so patiently. He knew that I had im-

portant tasks to perform, but my work is done now and I could

hear him calling to me to join him. We would be together forever.

I was going to walk again with my beloved at last and . . . and

now... this!"

"You truly have no idea how this happened?" Palin hesi-

tated, frowning. "Perhaps a secret wish of your heart. . . some

potion. . . or magical artifact. . ."

"In other words, did I ask for this?" Goldmoon returned, her

voice cool. "No, I did not. I was content. My work is finished.

Others have the strength and heart and will to carry on. I want

only to rest in my husband's arms again, Palin. I want to walk

with him into the next stage of being. Riverwind and I used to

speak of that next step on our great journey. I was given a glimpse

of it during the time I was with Mishakal, the time she gave me

the staff. The beauty of that far distant place. . . I can't describe it.

"I am tired. So very tired. I look young, but I don't feel young,

Palin. This body is like a costume for the masquerade, the face a

mask. Except that I can't take it off! I've tried and I can't!"

Goldmoon put her hands to her cheeks, pressed on them. Her

face was scarred and now Tas, shocked, knew the cause. In her

desperation, she had endeavored to claw away the smooth,

supple flesh.

"Inside I am still old, Palin," Goldmoon said, her voice hollow

and ragged. "I have lived my allotted life span. My husband has

traveled on before me, my friends are gone. I am alone. Oh, I

know." She raised her hand to forestall his objections. "I know

that I have friends here. But they are not of my time. They. . .

don't sing the same songs."

She turned to Tasslehoff with a smile that was sweet but so

sad that the kender's eyes filled with tears.

"Is this my fault, Goldmoon?" Tas asked mournfully. "I didn't

mean to make you unhappy! I didn't!"

"No, kenderken." Goldmoon soothed him with her gentle

touch. "You have brought me cheer. And a puzzle." She turned to

Palin. "How does he come to be here? Has he been roaming the

world these thirty years when we thought him dead?"

"The kender came the night of the storm by using a magical

device, Goldmoon," Palin said in a low voice. "The Device of

Time Journeying. A device that once belonged to my father. Do

you remember hearing the story of how Caramon traveled back

in time with Lady Crysania-"

"Yes, I remember," Goldmoon said, flushing. "I must say that

I found your father's story very difficult to believe. If it hadn't

been for Lady Crysania's account-"

"There is no need to apologize," Palin said. "I admit that I

myself found the story difficult to credit. I was able to speak to

Dalamar about it years ago, before the Chaos War. And I talked

to Tanis Half-Elven. Both confirmed my father's tale. In addi-

tion, I read Par-Salian's notes, which spoke of how the decision

to send my father back into time came to be made. And I have

a friend, Mistress Jenna, who was present in the Tower of High

Sorcery when my father handed over the device to Dalamar for

safekeeping. She had se~n the device before and she recog-

nized it. Above all, I have my account to serve as ~tness.

Tasslehoff has with him the magical device my father used to

transport himself through time. I know because I used it

myself."

Goldmoon's eyes widened. She drew in a breath, soft as a

sigh.

"Are you saying that the kender has come to us from the past?

That he has traveled through time? That you traveled through

time?"

"Tasslehoff," Palin said, "tell Goldmoon what you told me

about Caramon's funeral. The first one. Be brief and concise as

possible."

Since neither the word "brief" nor the word" concise" are in

the kender vocabulary, Tasslehoff's story was considerably in-

volved and extended, taking many little detours and side trips,.

and once losing himself completely in a morass of words from

which he had to be patiently extricated. Goldmoon was a most at-

tentive listener, however, seating herself next to him on the floor

amongst the cushions and never saying a word.

When Tas spoke of how she and Riverwind had attended

Caramon's first funeral together; her husband gray and stooped,

the proud chieftain of the united tribes of the Plains, accompa-

nied by his son and daughters, grandchildren and great-grand-