Dragon's Heart (23 page)

K
illian stood
before the priest to marry Katia. The bride was radiant, beaming while the groom hid his disgust behind an unbreakable mask of civility. Sitting in the back row, Serena watched from behind a veil of gauzy material. She clenched the small drawstring bag on her lap but couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her cheeks. She’d known this was a bad idea, but since receiving the invitation had felt a compulsion, something drawing her back to Haven, back to the court…

Back to Killian.

Serena wanted to leave as soon as he walked to the priest’s side. She could see and knew without even talking to him that he wasn’t her Killian anymore, in more ways than one. His expression was cold; his handsome features seemed chiseled from ice as he turned to face the crowd, waiting for the bride to appear.

She stood when the other guests did, catching sight of Ryan in his dark, formal uniform, standing close to the prince while the eyes of the assembled were on the bride as she made her way to the center of the royal chapel. Her oldest friend scanned the crowd, eyes landing and lingering on Serena for a few moments before moving on.

Closing her eyes, she slowed her breathing as the priest began the ritual. Serena felt long forgotten magic still woven into the ceremony begin to flow through the room. It sent tendrils of heat through her until they seemed to slip free of their bonds. When she opened her eyes, crimson motes whirled through the air, dancing in patterns that drifted over the crowd as though seeking something or someone.

“No,” she whispered under her breath, hoping the lord seated beside her didn’t hear.

The magic didn’t obey her command, her plea. The motes drifted to where Killian and Katia stood as the priest wrapped the black marriage silks around their joined hands. Serena knew she was the only one who saw what was happening as the motes coalesced and settled into Killian’s chest, around his heart. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer for strength, knowing what remained of her life would be spent feeling as though half of her soul was missing. In her foolishness, she’d condemned Killian to the same fate. The realization washed over her in a wave of numbness that began with her core and worked its way out to her limbs. Serena didn’t notice as the ritual concluded and remained seated when the royal couple exited, followed by the rest of the guests, leaving her alone in the chapel.

“Why?” she whispered to the statue on the altar of the Gods. “Are you so fickle? So blind? So cruel as to give and take away like this?” She stood and walked to the center of the room. “You could have let me die. Should have let me die. I wanted death, was ready for it… welcomed it.” Her hands shook as she flipped the veil over the top of her head. “The only thing that kept me going in the darkness was the memory of him. The hope, the promise of what could be… Now this”—she gestured at everything around her—“you truly are fickle. Or you don’t exist.”

She didn’t hear his footfalls or notice his presence before he spoke. “This wasn’t his choice, you know. He was forced. The queen was dying, and so was his father.” Ryan’s words held understanding, compassion and threatened to shatter what little control she had maintained.

“But why her?”

“You pushed him away.”

Her friend’s words were a knife to her heart. She knew he spoke only truth, but it didn’t matter because she had pushed Killian away in the harshest way possible.

“And the other offers were withdrawn.”

“Withdrawn?” She gasped. “Why?”
That doesn’t make sense. Why would any of the families give up the chance to marry their daughters to the future king? It’s what every noblewoman at court is taught is her ultimate goal. A suitable husband, whose position will improve her family’s standing. There is no higher standing than that of consort to the king.

“No one knows.” He sighed. “I have my suspicions but nothing that can be proved.”

“She is a snake.”

The guard glanced around making sure no one else was lurking in the shadows before he nodded. “Agreed. Come with me, my lady?” He held out his hand and waited for her to either accept or refuse.

Go with Ryan or remain in this empty chapel, raging at Gods I’m not certain care… if they even exist.
She took his hand, forced a smile, hoping it reached her eyes and asked. “Where are we going?”

“The royal garden is lovely. I doubt you want to go to the banquet yet.”

“I’d prefer to skip it completely.”

“You’ve been seen. It has been remarked upon. Thanks to that veil, your presence will be missed, and questions will be asked should you disappear.”

“I should not have come,” she whispered.

“But you did, and now you must remain for a polite amount of time.” Ryan took her arm, and together they walked to the royal garden. “There’s something I want to show you. Something I think you need to see before you go to the banquet.”

“I don’t know how much more I can take.” She wrapped her arms around herself as though she was freezing, in spite of the warm weather.

“You think it isn’t torture for him too? To only have formal missives from the Lady of Lakeshire province and even then, only when duty requires. You have even withdrawn your friendship, your counsel. Your love.”

Serena closed her eyes and tried to focus on something calming, not the twisting of the thorns that encased her heart.

“Why did you never put forward a marriage contract?” Ryan’s voice was soft, his question earnest.

“For what it’s worth, I wish I had. At least, then he might have had something to use to counter his grandmother’s moves.” She sighed as they stopped in front of a red rose bush. She recognized it as the one Killian had plucked a bloom from and given to her when he admitted his growing affection. It had been a few days before he first kissed her. Without realizing what she was doing, she touched the tips of her fingers to her lips. “I didn’t want him to feel like I was becoming one of the court harpies. I love him for the man he is and the man he is becoming. Not because he is heir to the throne.”

“He said the same thing.”

“Ryan?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“I wanted to show you this.” He gestured where a perfect red rose bloom sat on the ground in front of the bush. “It’s been there for about three months now. None of the gardeners will remove it. I wanted to see if you had any take on it?”

“You mean can I sense whether or not magic is involved?”

“Yes. Considering what I know about you, I thought you might be able to see something we mere mortals do not,” he whispered so as not to be overheard by the gossips.

“Yes. I think it’s holding something inside, keeping it safe, protected.” Serena frowned and started to kneel but remembered her fine dress. She settled for shifting her skirts and dropping to a crouch to get closer to the rose. Not knowing what Ryan expected, she reached out and brushed the petals with her fingers. Warmth spread through her, wrapping around her heart. The feeling was peaceful. “It’s something that’s cherished but has to be set aside. I think it’s protecting the caster from the pain. I doubt they knew what they were doing.”

“Hmmm…”

“Where did it come from?”

“No one knows.”

“Why haven’t you gotten rid of it?”

“We’ve tried, and it doesn’t go well. Is it safe?”

“Could it be used as a weapon to hurt the royal family? That’s what you’re asking, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“No, it can’t be made into a weapon. It’s essentially memory, nothing more.” She sighed as something tugged at the edges of her emotions, something familiar and yet strange. Shaking it off, she turned back to Ryan and smiled. “Well, shall we go to the banquet before someone notices your absence?”

“They are more likely to notice your absence, my lady, than they are mine.”

The friends walked arm in arm chatting about trivial matters until they came to the Grand Ballroom. Something inside Serena twisted, and she hesitated. Ryan touched her hand, and when she looked at him, he flashed a reassuring smile. Serena flipped the veil back into place. The thin material feeling more like a suit of armor than a fashion statement. Letting out a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding, they entered the feast, which was, by royal standards, small.

K
illian saw
her the moment she entered the ballroom, with Ryan on her arm. Though he couldn’t see her face, he’d spent far too many hours training with her not to recognize how she moved even though she wore a dress rather than fighting clothes. Serena glided through the crowd, speaking with a few of the guests, seeming to charm each and every one.

“Who is that?” Katia’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“I am not certain,” he lied, telling himself it was to protect Serena. “However, I do know she is representing the Lady of Lakeshire province.”

“That isn’t Lady Harlowe?” There was a note of disappointment in his new bride’s voice.

“No. She is still too ill to travel.” Another falsehood slipped from Killian’s mouth with ease as the walls he kept around his heart slid back into place, leaving him cold and alone. “I received word and gave permission for a representative to come in her stead.”

“With as long as she’s been ill…” Katia began but sputtered to a stop at the dark look from Killian.

He took her arm and pulled her into what appeared to be a passionate embrace. One arm held her tight against him while he locked her head in place with a hand behind her neck. He tilted his head and leaned into her. “Do not speak of her in front of me again. You have won, gotten the prize you so desired. You have my vows, but my heart is my own. Be content, or this will be an extremely unhappy union for both of us.” He followed his harsh whisper with a kiss, bordering on painful. When he broke away, he turned and stepped off the dais, picking up a goblet of wine from one of the servants, downing it in one long swallow.

S
erena watched
the display on the dais at the front of the room without breathing. Her heart ached, and she dug her nails into Ryan’s arm. She closed her eyes as all around her the nobles broke out in a round of polite applause and somewhat scandalized whispers. Serena opened her eyes when the applause died down. Killian’s bright blue eyes found hers behind the veil and didn’t move from them as he snatched a second goblet of wine and gulped it too.

“No,” Serena whispered, feeling her temperature beginning to rise. Her bones itched with the desire to slough off the human form, take to the skies and fly as far as her wings could carry her. She started backing away as Killian sidestepped a pair of noblemen who tried to stop him, heading right for her. “No.” She let go of Ryan’s arm, lifted her skirts, spun and though she didn’t run, she fled from the man who held her heart and from the fire burning in her chest.

Once she was away from the ball, Serena ripped the veil off her head and ran until her lungs burned, her eyes ached with unshed tears, her muscles quivered with exhaustion. She was alone, deep in the forest bordering the castle before she stopped and sank to her knees, shivering, fighting the change.

R
yan shook his head
, knowing why she ran. The guard had sympathy for both of his friends but didn’t know what he could do beyond being there for each of them. He watched as Serena fled realizing by the stiff way she carried herself that she was fighting to keep her emotions in check. Killian followed at a discreet distance. Knowing that it wouldn’t seem strange, Ryan followed the prince out of the ballroom, a step behind and a little to his left. In the relative silence of the corridor, the guard heard the telltale staccato rhythm of someone running along the stone-floored halls. He reached out and caught Killian’s arm, keeping him from chasing the woman he loved. The prince turned to Ryan, a stunned look on his face.

“Your Highness, that would not be wise.”

“I have to speak with her. I need to know why.”

“Today, right here and right now, your needs do not matter. She’s in agony. Do not make it worse.”

“She isn’t the only one.”

“I know that, but you’re not going to make it better by chasing after her. If anything, you’ll make the situation worse. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you have to let her go. You have to give her a chance to find what peace she can.”

Killian knelt and picked up the scrap of thin, dark blue material she’d worn to hide her face and held it to his nose, inhaling her scent. “She ran from me, Ryan. Why would she do that?”

“Perhaps the proper question is why wouldn’t she?” Ryan scanned the area, and when he was satisfied they were alone, he continued, “You were married today, your Highness. What did you expect her to do? Why did you insist she attend? I had never taken you for someone given over to cruelty though this seems to prove otherwise.”

“I did no such thing.” Killian clutched the cloth in his hand as if by holding it he was somehow connected to Serena again.

“Your new bride then.”

“Yes. By the time I found out and sent word that an emissary was acceptable, I assume Serena had already begun making her way here.” Killian swallowed hard around the lump in his throat and the tears that filled his eyes. “I would never intentionally hurt her, Ryan. I don’t even know why I followed her. I just feel this need to be at her side. It’s as though she has the other half of me and I of her. As if I am half dead without her.”

“You have to give her time. She will learn to cope with this new reality as much as you are.”

“You’re saying I should give up on everything we shared?”

“Yes and no.”

“That’s oddly noncommittal.”

“In some ways, you do have to let go of what the two of you shared. It needs to change, to grow. Perhaps, should fate be kind someday, you can find your way back to one another.”

His eyes welled with tears, her retreating form blurring. “I feel that I’ve lost her, again.” Killian’s voice was dead, empty, the outside matching the inside.

“May I ask you something, Highness?”

“Of course.”

“The rose bloom in the garden? The one the staff refuses to remove.”