Drawn to a Vampire (6 page)

He didn’t do anything.

I listened for a heartbeat. 

I couldn’t hear it. 

Fuck. 

What the fuck had he done? 

He was dead.

Or was he
? Did he mean to turn himself into a vampire?  Had he suspected from the start, had my eyes given me away?  Or was he that reckless, that lost to his previous life, that he could do such a thing?  Take such a risk? 

Would he come back as a vampire?  Or was he just dead? 

I did not know. 

I didn’t know what had happened to me, what Luca had done.  Luca.  How he’d made me
feel
, but he’d destroyed my life.  What he’d done to me – it had led to so many things.  To this.  To more destruction of life.…

What was I going to do?  If Adam was going to come back, how long would it be?  I had no fucking clue.  What the hell should I do?

I looked down at his face – pale, blood smeared, a shadow of his former self.  If he came back … this wouldn’t be a secret anymore … I’d have company.  We could live in the woods together, feed off animals together.  We could have a semblance of a life.

Hope flickered within me.  This could be a good thing. 

I looked around at all his things.  If I cleared this up, took his body, and his things, the campsite owners would just think he’d packed up and left.  There would be no police, no scene.  How often did he check in with his family?  Not often, I reckoned. 

I nodded to myself, then kicked into action.  I put down his tent, wedging his things into an old Karrimor rucksack, tying his tent to the bottom, throwing water on the fire, over the blood, cleaning up the scene.  I put the rucksack over both my shoulders and then picked up Adam’s body in my arms.  Ha!  Vampire strength had its uses.  I gave the scene one final check before leaping back over the stream and taking Adam to my daytime hideaway. 

I didn’t want to leave him in case he woke up and freaked, and ran off.  Out of control.  What if he did what I had done?  What if he killed? 

So I stayed by his side as my hunger increased, after all, he’d drank a fair whack of my blood before doing this to himself.  I got hungrier and hungrier and eventually I gave in.  I wanted to be in control, I
needed
to be in control when he awoke.  I needed to be there for him, to deal with whatever lay ahead.  I allowed myself to feed, but I didn’t go far.  I had to cope with some small prey, a fox, a badger.  It wasn’t bad, in fact it made me feel better.  More pure again.  Less corrupted. 

The whole time I listened hard for signs he was awakening.…

When I returned he was still there, pale and lifeless.  I sat next to him in the darkness, wondering about my past, thinking about the people I’d lost, and where they now were.  For the first time I drew out the photo album I’d packed and looked at the photos.  My friends from college.  Rachel.  My parents.  My older brother.  I wondered what they were up to now. How affected they were by my loss.  If they were getting on with their lives … or if they were searching for me.  Not for the first time, I wondered if I should seek them out, tell them I was alive.  Well, kind of, but I again decided against it.  What if they knew what I’d done?  What if they hated me? 

What if they reported me to the police?  What would happen to me if I was put in a cell?  If I couldn’t have blood?  If I was forced into the day light? 

And … what if I hurt them?

I looked at the picture of me and Rachel, with our closest friends Tina and Phil, all ready for a night out, all tipsy and smiling.  I thought about how empty I’d felt when I’d had so much….  It dawned on me that I must have been depressed.  Why hadn’t I realised? I should have tried another route, therapy, for instance.  Maybe I should have gone to the doctors, and tried to find happiness without the recklessness … maybe then none of this would have happened. 

Rachel would still be alive. 

I flicked the pages of the album.  There was my dog from home, an adorable black lab.  My heart twinged.  I opened the album onto a group photo of me with my parents and brother, and it was just too much. I closed the album as Adam twitched, and quickly put it back in my bag.

“Adam,” I said, touching his shoulder.  And then I heard his heart start beating.  And then he started to breathe.  The deep slow breaths of sleep.

I wiped my brow, and realised I’d broken out in a sweat.  Adam had come back to life.  That must be how it had been with me.  How could Luca have done that to me?  But then, how could I have done the things that I had done? 

Lack of control. 

I was out of control. 

Is that what Luca had been?  Wild?  Reckless?  Then why had I woken up at home?  Did he take me there?  Why didn’t he stay with me?  Did he care for me at all?  Was he as attracted to me as I was to him?  Or is that how I make my victims feel, as though they love me?  A pseudo love.

Adam’s eyes flickered, and he groaned.

“Adam,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.  “Are you OK?”

“Thirsty,” he muttered.  “I hurt …”

I felt like saying, ‘You idiot, what do you expect?’ but I figured he was probably in a volatile state and I shouldn’t even go there.

“When you’re ready, we can hunt,” I said – I figured going down the trying a cup of tea route, like I did, was not a good idea.

“Hunt?”  He opened his eyes slowly.  It wasn’t quite dawn, so he didn’t need to squint, but he did anyway.

“Can you remember what you did?” I asked.

A slow smile crept onto his face.  I wasn’t sure I liked it.  “Hmm … does this mean it worked?  Am I … am I a vampire?”

“It would certainly seem like it.  You were dead – now you’re not.  Is that what you wanted?”

He nodded.  “I need something.  Blood.  But I feel bad … weak.”

“If you wait here I’ll catch something for you to eat.”

He nodded, and closed his eyes.

I expanded my senses and zeroed in on a nearby heartbeat.  I didn’t want to go far again as I was still scared that Adam would belt.  I ran through the night, catching a fox just as its ears twitched upright in fear.  I grabbed it around its middle, and it struggled, howling and trying to scratch and bite.  But I gripped it tightly and brought it to Adam’s side. 

He opened his eyes and wrinkled his nose.

“What have you brought me a fox for?”

“Er … to eat.”  In my mind I added ‘Dur’.

“That’s not what I had in mind.”

“Well, this will have to do.  I don’t want you killing someone.  It takes time to gain control,” I said, and I thought, ‘Bloody hell, hurry up and eat before this fox bites me!’

“What do I do?” he said.

“Trust your instincts.”

He got to his knees and I lowered the fox to him, and as I did his eyes glowed red.  It was haunting, and to think that mine must do the same thing.  I watched as his teeth extended, and he went for the fox’s neck.  He sank in his teeth and drank, and drank, until the fox was dead.  Then he dropped it, and looked up, his face wild, his fangs dripping with fox blood.  He licked them clean.

“I need more,” he rasped.

The sky was starting to lighten, I figured we didn’t have long.

“Can you get up?  Are you strong enough?” I asked.

He sprang to his feet, his eyes looking red and devil-like.  “Let’s hunt,” he said, and he soared off ahead.

I kept close, scared I’d lose him and that would be it.  I couldn’t tell what was going on in his head, but I could guess it – the over-whelming sensation of hearing beyond the realms of imagination, zeroing in on heartbeats, infinite possibilities emerging….  He slowed as he saw his quarry, a young deer, fawnlike, with brown fur and pointy ears.  He crept closer.  The deer looked at him with wide open eyes, then turned to spring away.  But Adam pounced, he floored the deer with his weight and sank his fangs into the deer’s neck.  And he drank.  I could hear the deer’s heart racing, I could hear blood being swallowed, and then I could hear the deer’s heart slowing … and then it stopped. 

Adam leaped back, and he turned to face me.  “Well … that was …” his eyes sparkled “… wild.”

“Dawn’s approaching,” I said, as Adam approached me … like he did as he stalked the deer, a predatory look in his eye.

He gave me a mischievous grin.  “What will happen?  Will we burn to ashes?”

“No,” I said, rolling my eyes, “but it’s not nice … it’s quite … umm … an unpleasant sensation …”

“I can think of some pleasant sensations right now,” he said, getting closer.

“Hmm … really?” I said, raising an eyebrow and blushing.

“Indeed I can,” he said, and placed his hands on my waist. 

I raised my eyes to his, smelling the blood on his lips, and I licked it off.  He groaned. 

Adam smelled different.  It was different.  His blood no-longer smelled the same, it smelled sweet, seductive, and it didn’t smell like food anymore.  The dynamic between us had changed. 

He grabbed my tongue between his teeth, nipping at me.  I giggled.  Then he let go and kissed me, a lingering teasing kiss, and it wasn’t just that Adam now smelled different, it was like he was different, too.  Almost like a different person.  It made me feel unsettled.  Had that been the case with me when I’d changed? 

I hadn’t yet decided if I liked this new Adam, but he was still a very attractive man, and he still did things for me, ignited a flame in my body.  I still wanted him, and I knew it was early days.  He’d only just changed, and the things I’d done when I’d just changed.…  As long as I could stop that happening to Adam … everything would be OK. 

I ran my hands through his still scruffy hair and nibbled on his earlobe, which made him growl, and he lost control.  He kissed me hard, pulling aside my clothes, and was inside me in seconds.  Umm, shite, it felt good to be so desired.  And I had so much desire in me, he brought it to the surface, and we grabbed at each other’s backs and the surreal-ness of the situation, the newness, doing it with another vampire ...  a new vampire.  It was fast and furious, and we both pretty much exploded with the pleasure of it.

But afterwards he didn’t bask around, staring into my eyes.  He wanted to hunt, but I made him come with me to take shelter from the daylight. 

I could practically feel the resentment pouring off him.  That day we did not get much sleep – he was hungry, and, god damn it, I was hungry, too.  After all, I’d been focusing on him and his feeding.  But he was new and he wasn’t handling it well.

It was not a good day. 

It was not full of love making in our tree cubby hole.  It was full of whinging and groaning, of the negative variety.  And wanting, of the blood variety.  I was relieved when night fell and it was time to hunt again.  We went on a hunting rampage, me sticking close to his side, but making sure I got my fill, too. 

He teased me when I tried to persuade him to stop before killing, teased me about being a hippy animal rights goody.  I wasn’t impressed. 

We hunted until I was full.  But he wasn’t, he wanted more.  He wasn’t satisfied at all.  We fed off each other, but it wasn’t erotic like before – he was looking for satisfaction for his hunger, and I was not providing that satisfaction.  We went to bed that morning together, but when I woke up that night there was an empty space by my side.

Adam was gone.

Shit. 

I looked around urgently, my heart racing.

“Adam,” I called.  “Adaaaam!”

The night seemed extra dark and quiet.  For the first time since living in the forest I felt scared.

“Adaaaam!” 

There was no answer, and then I noticed his things were gone, too.

He had left me.

And it wasn’t hard to figure out what he’d do – he’d go in search of human blood. 

I had failed. 

This whole making friends with a human had not gone to plan.  At all. 

I opened up my senses, listening out for footsteps, or anything that might betray Adam’s location.  There was nothing.  I tried to hone in on my sense of smell, to follow his trail that way, but it was no good.  He had smelled different, and that smell didn’t carry with him. 

I couldn’t see any footprints.  Any trail. 

I slumped back down against a tree trunk and burst into tears.  This … this was going to lead to more deaths, more deaths because of me. 

This was my fault.

How could Adam have done this?  How had I not seen that recklessness within him?  How had I read him so wrong?  First of all, to do that – to slice his throat – take that risk, and then to leave me here.  Abandon me.  I’d bloody well been dumped.

Fuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Tears ran down my face, and I wiped them angrily off my chin.  And it dawned on me what I needed to do.  I needed to go back to the city.  I was sure that’s where he would have gone, all those delicious people … the anonymity….

I was going to have to find him ... try and win him over to my way … try and stop him from killing….

I didn’t want to go back to the city.  There would not be an abundant array of animals to snack upon.  No.  Instead there would be rats … and humans … temptation.  And I couldn’t go back to my flat, I’d have to scour the city for somewhere to hide.  I couldn’t be seen, I couldn’t get caught.  It was a risk, but I knew I had to do it.  I had to try to make amends.