Dream With Me (With Me Book 4) (24 page)

I’m not really paying attention to where we’re headed, but have my head down, so it surprises me when we suddenly jerk to a stop. When Chloe and Taylor stand in front of me protectively.

I look up and let out a gasp.

Griff and his friends are outside a bar. And he’s seen us. He leaves his group and heads our way, determination in each step.

I turn in the opposite direction. “Let’s go.
Now.
”

But Griff is faster. He steps in front of me. Blocking me.

“Evie,” Griff says, “I really need to speak to you. I heard about Transfixed and I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

I’m completely confused, and my mouth feels dry. Why is Griff here right now? Why is he even talking to me?

“I wasn’t, but I am now,” I say. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not going to New York anymore.”

“Where are you going?” Griff asks, his expression one of concern.

“To L.A.” I take a step back. “Why does it matter? You broke up with me. Why do you even care?”

‡

He doesn’t answer my question.
“Let’s talk.”

“Talk?” I give a hollow laugh. “I think we’ve done enough talking, haven’t we?”

“Evie.”

That low growl of his reaches places inside of me. It grasps the edges of my broken heart. It makes me want to push my friends aside and go to Griff.

“Don’t
Evie
me,” I say instead.

“Come on, Evie!” Griff rakes a hand through his hair. “Just tell me why you’re leaving.”

My mouth drops open. Is he fucking serious? He can’t be. He’s not stupid.

“Okay,” I say. “You want to talk? Let’s talk.”

“Evie!” Taylor says worriedly.

Chloe looks at me. “Are you sure about this?”

“I am,” I say.

“Okay,” Chloe says. “But we’ll be here if you need anything.”

I know they will be and I’m grateful for that. I turn my attention back to Griff. “Say what you have to say.”

“Not here,” he says.

“I’m not going back to your place.”

“The waterfront, then,” he says. “Walk with me to the lake.”

To where it all started. Fitting, I guess, that we’ll go there to really end this.

I nod my head in agreement. “Okay,” I say. “Let’s go.”

We’ve only been walking a
block downhill, not even close to Lake Champlain, when Griff abruptly stops under a streetlight. The light pools around him, casting a long shadow against the brick building behind him.

I wait for him to speak. The silence gives me time to study Griff. It’s only been two days since I haven’t seen him, talked to him, kissed him, and it feels like a century has gone by.

I look for any differences in him. Any pain that leaks out in those granite-hard features of his. I search for any dark circles under his eyes, if he nicked a spot shaving, or if he seems shaken.

But there’s nothing that I can see.

Griff looks great. Hot, as always. Dark jeans, a black tee. There aren’t any dark circles. There are no nicks on his freshly shaven jaw. And he is steady as ever.

What did I expect?

For him to be moved? For him to realize that he messed up and beg me to give him another chance?

Yeah, right.

But it doesn’t answer one thing . . .

“Why do you want to talk?” I ask and cross my arms once more. Just being here hurts—with him only a few feet away, where I can smell his clean, masculine scent, remember how his lips felt on mine, how his arms held me, how my name sounded when he came . . .

I suddenly wish I hadn’t come here. That I stayed behind with my friends. That I didn’t agree to talk to Griff. Why do I need one last time?

“You’re really going to L.A.,” he says.

“Yup.”

“And when did you decide this?”

“Today, not that it’s any concern of yours.” But it could have been his concern. It would have been had he not broken up with me.

He prowls toward me, all steely intent, but I don’t give away how that affects me. How much it wrecks me that he’s so close to me that I can touch him, but I don’t. We’re not together anymore.

“I don’t get it,” he says shortly.

I uncross my arms. “You don’t get what?”

“How you can decide to move across the country”—he snaps his fingers—“just like that.”

“Again, I don’t see why it matters to you.”

His dark eyes flicker with temper. “
How
could you move across the country?”

“I don’t have an internship there anymore. It was . . .”
It made me cry my eyes out because
you
weren’t there to comfort me.
“Hard. Really hard.”

His gaze softens. “I’m sorry, Evie. But why does that mean you’re—”

“Because we’re going to start the company in L.A.”

“
We’re?
”

“Chloe, Taylor, and I,” I say. “We’re going to do it together. I don’t want to be in New York. And there’s nothing for me in Burlington.”

He doesn’t even flinch.

He really doesn’t care about me.

So why does he even want to know why I’m moving. It doesn’t make any sense.

“It just seems . . . sudden,” he says. “You said you—”

“I know what I said,” I bite out. “Just like I know what you said. Has any of that changed? Do you want us to be together?” When he doesn’t answer, I give a harsh laugh and start walking—in the opposite direction, back to where Chloe and Taylor will be waiting for me. “I don’t even know why I agreed to this. I don’t know what I was expecting.”

Except that’s a bald-faced lie. Because I know what I was
hoping
for—and
that
is obviously not going to happen.

I turn around and feel a flash of white-hot anger fueled by hurt that Griff is still standing where I left him. He’s not even bothering to follow me?

I really am an idiot.

And I have had enough.

I stalk back to him, my temper rising with each step I take. When I reach him, I’m absolutely furious. He’s so freaking calm. So unaffected.

“I don’t know why you even want to know,” I say. “You don’t care. You said you won’t ever fall in love, so that means you won’t love me. You broke up with me because you got scared of what could happen, which I get but don’t get. You don’t want this. You don’t want me. And I hate that. I hate you.”

“So you’re going because of that.”

I dig my nails into my palms. “I’m going because I want to go after this new venture and see where it takes me.”

“But I thought your dream—”

“Don’t talk to me about dreams when you’re too . . .” My pain sputters out in frustration. “When you’re too
constipated
to even go after yours. You said I was your dream. You said that to me, but then break up with me. You ask me why I’m going to L.A. and make me think you still care. I thought you were going to tell me that you made a huge mistake.”

“Evie.”

“Don’t,” I say and hold up my hand. “I get it now. You’re asking me why I’m leaving because your pride feels damaged.”

“I asked you because it felt like an impulsive decision,” he says.

“I’m not going to deny it,” I say. “I told you on our first date. I go by my instincts that are often spot-on.”

He lets out a curse and strides to me. “I don’t understand you.”

It feels as if a firehouse has doused the fires of my anger. My frustration, my temper, my rage goes out with that one sentence. It leaves only devastating pain. As if I’m being ripped in two.

“You don’t understand me,” I repeat back dumbly. “You know what’s funny, Griff? We weren’t even together for seven days, but I felt as if you knew me better than anyone else. That you
got
me. That you really saw me for me.”

“I do,” he says with irritation. “I do fucking see you—”

“You obviously don’t if you don’t know why I’m really going.”

“I never thought you were a runner,” he says.

“I’m not the one who ran. You did. You pushed me away. Maybe it is better that you were honest that night.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, his anger also deflating.

“When you said you wouldn’t ever fall in love, because I get it now. We are too different and we wouldn’t have worked out. You don’t even want to leave Vermont, and I want to see the world. Would you have expected me to move back to Burlington at some point? Would you have stood in the way of my dreams instead of supporting me?”

“You don’t know me if you think that,” Griff says. “I want your makeup line to take off. And you even said that Vermont wasn’t out of the question.”

“I did,” I admit. “I was willing to do anything to be with you. I was putting myself out there for you.”

“I put myself out there, too. It wasn’t one-sided.”

“That first night, you didn’t say anything to me until just before we had sex. You asked me if I was sure and then if I would stay after.”

“I asked you out the next day. I made my intentions clear to you.”

“Just like I made myself clear to you. I can’t help that I was falling in love with you.”

That I love you.

“And I can’t help it that I
don’t
want to fall in love,” Griff bursts out.

We both fall silent, our chests heaving.

“You see,” I say after I find my voice, as broken as it is. “I’m right. We wouldn’t have worked out.”

Griff looks at me sadly. “You want it all, Evie. And I just can’t give that to you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. You could give me anything if you wanted to. I never wanted it all.”

“What did you want, then?”

“It’s simple,” I say. “I only wanted you, Griff.”

“I—”

“But we don’t always get what we want,” I say. “I wish things had gone differently. I really do. But nothing is going to change, and I think it’s for the best that we say good-bye now.”

“We’re graduating tomorrow.”

“Do me a favor. Don’t come near me at graduation. Let this be it. We really don’t have anything else to say, do we?” I search his face but he doesn’t respond in the slightest. “This is painful right now. Let’s be happy tomorrow. And to do that, I don’t want to run into you. Okay?”

For a long moment, he doesn’t do anything, and a tiny flare of hope lights inside me.

Until he nods.

And then my hope withers away.

“Okay,” he says. “Good-bye, Evie. I wish you the best.”

Somehow I find it in me to smile. A small one that trembles at the corners. “Good-bye, Griff.”

I turn around and head back to Church Street. We didn’t even make it to Lake Champlain. It really is over. And it was more horrible than I thought it would be. I don’t see how tomorrow will be any better. How I’ll find happiness in California. How I’ll ever fall in love again when I really thought Griff was the one for me.

My heart is smashed into pieces. We just said good-bye like we were strangers.

All I want is for him to whisper my name, to hear him run toward me, to have him grab me and whirl me around and kiss me and kiss me and kiss me as he mutters that he’s a fool, that he loves me, and that he’ll never ever let me go.

None of that happens. And I can’t even curse myself for being stupid or an idiot for my thoughts. My feelings. For the dream that has died, the one that included Griff. My future will be without him. And I’m not sure how I’ll go on.

Somehow I will, and I’ll learn to move past this. But right now? All I want is Griff. All I want is his love. All I want is a chance.

All I want is that dream back.

It’s not going to happen, though. It’s never going to happen.

And it sucks.

Sunday, Graduation Day

‡

The graduation ceremony starts at
eleven, so I have to be at Green College a half-hour before. It seems hours away at 6 a.m., and I wince in sympathy at the thought of my parents driving up this early—and for my youngest sister, Vanessa, who had her senior prom last night. No doubt, she’ll be exhausted. But my parents and sisters are in one car, and Meredith will take my car back to the city, since I won’t need it.

We’re going to pile our stuff into Taylor’s SUV and road trip across to Los Angeles. Our plan is to leave bright and early tomorrow, so we pack up what we can in a few hours and will do the rest once the ceremony ends. Since all of our families are going right to the gymnasium, where the graduation is taking place, they’re going to celebrate it after with a late lunch at The Water Works.