Dreamers (The Dreamers Series) (8 page)

I don’t know how to respond. Even my thoughts remain silent.

“Please,” he begs.

“Nick, I don’t know how I feel right now. You have twisted me into a confused world I don’t even recognize. I feel strong feelings for you, but how do I know if that was a side effect of you tampering with my mind? Can you let me figure this out before I commit to anything? Stay out of my head, let me know you—just you. No more mind fucking.”

“Will you agree not to go on anymore dates with her? It kills me to even think of you with her.”

“For now, but remember, I like her. I’m sorry to hurt you, Nick, but I do. Not only is she my best friend but she loves me, I know she does. Please don’t think I don’t like you too, because I do. I really wish I didn’t. Obviously our situation is—complicated, but I know how you make me feel. Contrary to how good you might think you are with your mind control, I can’t imagine wanting someone as much as I wanted you earlier. I can still taste you. Part of my feelings had to have been my own, they were real. I care about you, I miss you every moment I’m awake. I crave you. Why do you think I’m here right now?”

“You’re meditating right now, we can’t even touch each other. It’s all mental. I want you to see me with your own eyes, without me messing with your head. Leave Heather tonight and come to me, be with me—stay with me.”

“Nick, I have to go. This is too much to comprehend right now. I need to think—ALONE.”

“I think I love you, Sydney.”

***

Tears stream down my face as I pull myself out of meditation. How could I have not seen this coming? Sensibility should have told me that the longer we exposed ourselves to one another something was bound to eventually blossom between us. I honestly don’t know how I feel right now, other than trapped. Trapped between my own reality and my own subconscious. The distinguishment does nothing to soothe the searing tear splitting my body and mind into separate forces.

I have to get myself together. I throw some sweats on with a matching dull gray sweatshirt and walk from the apartment, desperately searching for the air that has been sucked from my lungs. The cool breeze is refreshing, exactly what I need.

I walk aimlessly until I begin smelling food, directly into restaurant block. Athena’s Grill is only a couple more minutes from here. I decide Greek salad might do the trick. I also wonder if Mia might be able to join me. I pull my phone from my purse and give her a call.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Mia. What’cha up to?”

“Nothing really, about to grab lunch with Cayden. What’s up?”

“Oh. Well I was going to invite you to lunch with me, but I am thrilled you already have a lunch date. I’m happy for you.”

“It’s just a friendly lunch. I’m—trying, Syd. Why don’t we both join you? Where are you?”

“Athena’s Grill, a Greek restaurant.”

“I know where it is. We should be there in fifteen minutes or so. I can’t wait for you to meet Cayden,” she whispers.

“Me too. See ya’ soon.”

“Bye.”

As she hangs up a rush of excitement hits me. Not only is my sister finally taking steps toward moving forward with her life, but I get to meet the Dominick’s brother. This could be a really great opportunity to find some answers about my mystery man.

“I need a table for three please,” I ask the hostess.

“Right this way.”

I plop myself into the cushy chair next to the window, resting my head in my hands for a moment, soaking in the peace of silence. Nick parades through my mind, like a beautiful plague. He’s infected me. Somewhere in the middle of all this I’ve learned to look at him in a different way. With great difficulty I manage to bury the need that begins to swell my heart, sad wishes that can never come true. I can’t allow myself to feel like this about him—it’s painful and tormenting. Fighting capture every second I’m near him is now slithering its way into my waking hours. Heather isn’t here to distract me and keep my feet on the ground. I need her here to remind me what life can be like for me. She is obtainable, she’s real. I want them both, but I can only have one. It’s a matter of what’s good for me and what I want most.

Mia happily plops into the seat next to me, snatching me from my somber reverie.

“Hey, Syd.”

“Uh—hey, where’s Cayden?”

“Parking. It’s a nightmare down here during lunch rush.” She eyes me cautiously, analyzing the unease discrediting my phony smile. “You okay, Syd? You look stressed.”

I struggle for a moment, realizing that I can’t handle this on my own for even a moment longer. I’m going crazy. I need help.

“Actually, stressed isn’t even the word. I need to talk to you. I need you to be open minded and discreet. Nobody can know—nobody. Can you do that?”

“Yes, of cour—”

Mia and I both stop and stare as the hostess leads him in our direction. He is spitting image of Dominick. Dark hair, aqua blue eyes, with a muscular build. He is much taller than Dominick, but even his smile has the same evil quirk to it as his brother. He lights up as he sees Mia. I like that.

“We will talk later,” I whisper.

I stand cordially, extending my hand in introduction.

“Hi, Cayden, I’m Sydney, the sister.”

“Nice to meet you finally, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I’m scared to even ask.” I laugh.

“All good, I promise. So you’re a Greek fan too, huh? Your sister bragged about some of the wonderful food you cook, especially the Greek. We should all get together and have a cook off. I’m not half bad in the kitchen myself.”

“That sounds amazing, actually. I was thinking about throwing a get together soon for my friends and family. I just moved into an apartment in Atlantic Station with my buddy, Heather.”

“Just name the day and time and we’ll be there.” He looks lovingly at Mia, who squirms slightly in her seat.

Cayden is great. He’s lively and hilarious to cut up with. Personality wise you would never peg him and Dominick as brothers. Cayden is easy going and—normal. The entire lunch is filled with laughter. I even hate the thought that the hour is coming to an end. Cayden grabs for the bill before I can reach.

“My treat.” He hands his card to the waitress.

As he lowers his hand I notice a beautiful bracelet encircles his wrist. It’s silver and black with a shiny emblem of the infinity symbol. I find it fascinating.

“I love that bracelet. Where did you get it?”

A forlorn looks covers his face. He struggles to smile as he responds.

“My mother made it. She died last year, so it’s very important to me. She gave matching ones to my brother Dominick and me. They are the only two like it in the world.”

“Excuse me for a moment guys, I have to go to the ladies room,” Mia whispers.

I cash in on my opportunity to feel Cayden up for a little information on Dominick. She won’t be back for a few minutes. Anytime death comes into conversation she disappears, she can’t quite handle it yet. Poor Mia.

“So Cayden, I know—knew Dominick,” I proclaim.

“Really? Dominick didn’t really have any friends so that’s a little surprising. Meet him in school or something?”

“Just kinda ran into each other.”

“Have you heard from him lately?” he asks, startling me.

“Uh—n-no. Isn’t he, you know—um….”

“No, he isn’t dead. He took off. He’ll come back, he always does. My mother actually had him buried, she said she had a feeling. She never quite recovered. This stunt of his ran my mother into an early grave with grief and worry. When he does show up, I have a few choice words for him. Why would a sweet girl like you befriend a crazy bastard like my brother?”

“He isn’t all bad.”

“Dominick thrived on sadness, inflicting it on everyone around him, including me. My mother worked her fingers to the bone to in order to pay for his medical care, and he repays her by crushing her heart into a million pieces and taking off. He was infatuated with his psychiatrist, and clearly she was reciprocating the behavior, or so we thought anyway.”

“Is that what happened?” I ask, astonished.

“That’s exactly what happened. When mother found out about the affair, she confronted them both. She threatened to report it, and Dominick took off the next day. We never saw him again.”

“Maybe she did something to him, that Mrs. Peyton woman,” I defend Dominick.

“How did you know her name? She was a private therapist, she didn’t even list through insurance agencies. There were only three people in this world who knew who Dominick was seeing: Dominick, myself, and Mother.”

“Nick told me.”

“Nick? He never let anyone call him that. You must’ve been pretty close.”

“Um—pretty close, I guess.”

“Were you dating?” He shakes his head in correction. “Of course you weren’t. He’s pathetic and way beneath your league.”

“I don’t really care for the way you’re talking about him. He’s no monster. He’s sad, hurt, and obviously very disturbed, but he is not pathetic. He’s a person—your brother. He loves me. And guess what? I have feelings for him, too. Save your crappy remarks for someone else,” I bark defensively, as I stand to leave.

“So, Sydney, you have seen him?” His eyes widen.

Mia comes back to the tense conversation at the table, looking warily at me as Cayden is stifling with anger.

“Um, is everything okay, guys?”

“Fine, everything is fine, Mia. I have to run, I forgot I have a photo shoot in a few minutes. I have to jet, like now.”

“That’s okay. Cayden and I have rounds in fifteen minutes so we are in a bit of a rush too. I’m coming over to discuss that THING after work, okay?”

“Yeah, cool. I gotta go.”

Cayden stands, shaking my hand once again.

“It was nice to meet you, Sydney. I would love to continue this conversation very soon. Here is my card. Call me ASAP.” His tone reflects that this is no request—it’s an order.

I snatch it from his hand and jog toward the door, kicking myself for my mistake.

How could I have slipped so badly? Oh my god, this is not good.

I run from the restaurant frenzied and desperately seeking answers. The first order of business is going to be finding Lana. I fling the apartment door open and head straight for Heather’s room. It occurs to me that I’ve never really been in her room. I observe the numerous pictures of me scattered throughout. I don’t have time right now to consider the fact that it’s almost shrine-like—which is slightly creepy. I focus on the search for an address book, planner, anything that might lead me to Lana. If I don’t find her and figure this mystery out, Cayden will expose me and I could be implicated in Nick’s disappearance.

Heather’s drawer is perfectly organized as I expect, aside from a lump at the back. As I pull the liner up, revealing the hidden treasure underneath, I realize that if I had listened to Lana’s words—listened to Nick—I could have seen this coming. My balance sways as my mind wraps around what my eyes don’t want to believe.

“No!” I drop to my knees.

“Only two like it in the world.”
Cayden’s words replay in my frantic mind.

“Nick!”

I quickly ease myself into a meditative state so I can reach him, still wrapping my head around the fact that there is little doubt to be held; this bracelet is his and undeniably in Heather’s possession.

“Nick, are you here?”

“Where else would I be? I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” he replies smugly. “Miss me?”

“Yes—um…no. Ugh, that’s not why I’m here. Do you know what this is?” I hold the bracelet in my hands for him to see.

“That’s the bracelet my mom made me. She made one for both my brother and I. Where did you get it?”

“Is master Dominick no longer parading around in my thoughts? You’re actually asking me instead of digging through my head?”

“I told you I wouldn’t do that anymore, smartass. I don’t break my word. Where did you find my bracelet?”

“In Heather’s drawer.”

“Told you,” he gloats.

“This is no time for your I-told-you-so’s, Nick. I don’t know what to do. We have to figure this out. I’m so livid with her right now that I honestly don’t want her anywhere near me.”

“Don’t worry about her, if she even thinks of coming near you I’ll dig my way so far into her brain she will never sleep without fear again...” His eyes boil.

“Pipe down, Hero, she isn’t even home. She has no idea I even found it. As for now, all we know is that she’s somehow involved, but I need help digging up answers. The first attempt in doing that today turned out disastrous. I messed up—bad.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad. What happened?”

“I met your brother today. He was on a lunch date with my sister.”

“Small world.”

“Yeah, really. As if that weren’t awkward enough, I starting poking around for information when Mia went to the restroom.”

“And?”

“It wasn’t my fault—entirely. He was saying rude things about you and I got mad.”

“Aww, baby…you were defending me.”

“Yes, I was. I won’t go into exactly what happened but I slipped. Cayden is fully aware of the fact that we are—involved. I’m so sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean to tell him, it just kinda came out.”

“Ha! Don’t apologize to me. You’re the one who looks like a nut job. I’m dead, what do I care?”

“This is so not funny. Do you want someone to put me away like Lana?”

“Stop being dramatic. He won’t have you put away. He probably just thinks you’re mistaken. He knows there is no way we could be involved. I’ve been dead for two years. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“He doesn’t believe you’re dead, Nick. He thinks you ran away, and now he thinks I have information on your whereabouts.”

“I’m not surprised he thinks that; I used to take off all the time. Maybe that’s why nobody ever found me, they didn’t bother to look. Obviously Mom did though, according to Lana I have a nice grave in Atlanta somewhere.”

“Yes, I’ve seen it. That’s how I began figuring out who you are—were.”

“Cayden will come around, he’s a good dude. I just hope Mom has calmed since the last time we saw each other, she was not a happy camper.”

This is sad. He doesn’t know...

“You haven’t, you know—ran into your mother lately?”

“What do you mean, ran into her?” Confusion clouds his eyes.

“Um…”

“She’s dead isn’t she?” His face saddens.

“I’m sorry, Nick, I thought you would have known somehow, or maybe you had seen her when she passed.”

“No, there’s nobody in my world but me. It’s not like people think. There aren’t ghosts walking around all over the place, there’s no bright light; only darkness, like a permanent sleep state. Maybe this is my purgatory because I wasn’t a good person. I hurt my family time and time again. I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t handle being such a burden. My condition drove everyone crazy, I was unpredictable. When I would get too low to hide it I would run away. I couldn’t stomach the thought of my family having to witness it if I never made it back up again. I had to detach from everyone, just in case I—ended it.”

“Is that what you did? Did you commit suicide?” I gasp.

“No, I wasn’t even depressed when I died. Angry, yes, but not sad.”

“Why were you angry, can you remember?”

“It was just something to do with Mrs. Peyton, that’s all.”

I swallow hard, preparing myself to ask him the dreaded question that’s lingered in my mind since lunch. He doesn’t seem to be very forthcoming about his dealings with her. There isn’t really a method for sugar coating the subject, so I don’t. I allow the words to spew from my mouth, purging my soul of this acidic sickness.

“Cayden said you two were having an affair. Is it true?” The words coat my mouth like a nasty thick medicine you just can’t wash down.

His face reflects horror as he struggles to speak. This might be touching a subject even too personal for him. As usual he attempts to create a shield, as he shifts into that cocky, arrogant person I met a few nights ago.

“You’re jealous aren’t you, Syd? Doesn’t feel very good knowing someone else had their fingers all over me, does it? Now maybe you know how I felt when I saw your sweet little memory of Heather’s romantic date.”

He hits a nerve. For some reason I do feel a twinge of jealousy in my stomach. Even the thought of someone else with their hands on Nick makes my skin crawl. I don’t want to say it though, I still haven’t quite figured out how to approach my feelings with him. I don’t want to feed it—yet. The one thing I can do is try to wiggle around the question. Since he agreed to stay out of my head, I can bend the truth slightly. A little white never hurt anybody.

“No, it’s not jealousy, Dominick, but I can’t help you if you hide things like that from me. Now please answer the question, is it true?”

“No, I was not sleeping with her, but like I told you before, I had a strange feeling that she was pretty into me. She made little remarks sometimes, stood a little too close, wore her shirts a little too tight, you know—what chicks do. Sometimes during our sessions I would get groggy and fall asleep. I thought at first it was just a sign of depression, feeling tired. When I would wake up having not remembered anything, I started wondering if something strange was going on. She said it was hypnosis but something just felt—off. Mom found lipstick on my shirt after one on my sessions and she flipped out, accusing us of having an affair. I told her it wasn’t true but she wouldn’t listen. She confronted her and ripped her a new one according to C.J—Cayden as you call him. I went to confront her the next day to find out what happened, and I don’t remember much after that. I never made it home again.”

“Do you think she had something to do with your murder?”

“Possibly, she was the last person I remember seeing while I was alive. Not to mention, when I confronted her I was angry, and she wasn’t handling it well. I can’t remember enough of the conversation to really make heads or tails of what she was saying. I was mad and I turned my back to her. I was looking out the window, trying to calm myself.”

“What else?”

“I don’t know. I felt a quick pain and that’s all.”

“What kind of pain? Did she hit you?”

“I don’t know. I wish I could remember more.”

“How can I find this Mrs. Peyton?”

“I don’t know, it was off the books.”

“You are absolutely NO help. How can you see a psychiatrist who is completely untraceable?”

“Mom worked at the school, she knew people. I think Mrs. Peyton was a parent of one of the students at Berkmar, that’s how they met. I remember her saying she had a daughter. Mom was very quiet when it came to my condition; embarrassment, I assume, so there won’t be any record of it. Even C.J. never knew anything other than her name. Just start looking for any of Peyton’s spawn that may have attended Berkmar around Two Thousand and Three.”

“Okay, I’ll try to start there then. For now, I need to go. I’m confronting Heather about the bracelet.”

“No, Sydney! What if she hurts you because she thinks you know something? I already don’t like the idea of you hanging around here, but I understand why you feel stuck. I have no right to tell you what to do, but if you aren’t going to leave you should at least put a deadbolt on the bedroom door. I don’t trust her.”

“That’s not a bad idea, Sherlock. And you’re right, I’m definitely not leaving. I’ve decided to stay and do exactly what I promised. I’m not scared of her, she wouldn’t hurt me. She loves me.”

Anger darkens his flawless eyes once again as he absorbs the blow. Any positive comments about Heather drive him mad. Now that he has declared his love for me, I should be more cautious about the things I say, it’s the polite way of handling things.

“I know you’re nervous about me staying here, but I want to be close to you. I can see you during meditation, but we can only touch when I’m fully asleep. I don’t want to be away from you.”

This seems to ease his jealous tension, as he sighs slowly, resolved to the fact that I’m in this—up to my neck, and I’m not backing down until it’s over.

“Just please be careful. Do what you need to do, just don’t confront her yet. Wait until you have a better idea of what you’re working with. Alright?”

“Alright, I can agree to that—temporarily.”

I’m glad he doesn’t seem to realize what he just gave me permission to do. The only thing he specifically said not to do was confront her, so I won’t. He was right all along with his initial plan, if I seduce her it will be much easier than waiting for her to trust me with her skeletons. I have to do it this way, even knowing he will be livid with my actions.

“Now, go get your business handled. I have a date to plan. Be here at dark—asleep. I have a surprise for you.” He grins.

“A surprise for me? Um—okay. I guess I’ll see you later then.”

I open my eyes to Heather standing in front of me, sending my heart rate through the roof. I had fallen into my meditation so quickly I hadn’t even bothered to leave her room. Here I am, sitting on the edge of her bed, surrounded by pictures she would never want me to see. Most of them I never remember being taken. I’m invading her space without permission. How am I supposed to get his bracelet back in her drawer without her knowing?

“What’cha doin’ in my room?” she asks, tensely.

Heather is no fool; she’s aware that I noticed the pictures, and more importantly that there are enough of them to creep me out a little. Her expression is uneasy and cornered, never a good combination for a person who is clearly unstable in one way or another. Now she wants to know why I’m here, and I have no choice but to try to come up with a believable lie; something I’ve never been good at on the spot.

“Um—well, I was going to…uh, I was going to… leave a little note on your desk just in case you came home while I was out. I wanted to ask if it would be okay if we had a small get together tonight. Just us, Mia and Cayden.”

Shit, there is no way she is going to believe that lame excuse. And there is no way Cayden will show up tonight, he would love nothing more than to lynch me right now. Damn it!

“Cayden?”

“He’ll be with Mia. They’re kinda seeing each other.”

“Sure, I don’t mind having some company.”

“Cool, I just wanted to check with you first.”

“Why didn’t you just text me?” She remains cautious.

“My phone was dead. I’m sorry for going in your room, I’ll leave now.” I stand quickly trying my best not to gawk at the Sydney shrine. The tension oozing from my pores doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re creeped out by all the pictures, huh?”

Pretend it doesn’t bother you, pretend it doesn’t bother you.

“Why would I think it’s creepy? Everyone has pictures of friends and family. So you have twenty or thirty, just means you think I’m a cutie.” A fake smile spreads along my lips.

Thankfully, her shoulders relax, and her typically calm demeanor returns with a chipper back tone.

“Yep, you’re definitely a cutie. So what are the plans for tonight exactly?”

“I thought I could cook something, maybe have a little music—some wine. Nothing fancy.”

I begin to shift nervously in the doorway. Dominick’s bracelet digs into my clutched fist. It’s still so hard to believe that she took part in this, but it’s undeniable, otherwise she would never have had his bracelet to begin with. I want to ask her how it got here. I want her to tell me she found it accidentally when she moved in, that it had somehow been left behind, but my gut tells me that’s nothing more than wishful thinking. Dominick has known from the beginning that she is part of this in some way or another. I just wish he could tell me more, something tangible. I care for Nick—a lot—but Heather is still my best friend. Just because my heart has been taken romantically by another doesn’t mean I want to lose her. I still pray something will discredit the looming feeling that something sinister lurks behind her caramel eyes.

“Earth to Sydney.” She snaps her fingers in front of my face, grasping my attention once again.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m spacey today. What were you saying?”

“I said, tonight sounds like a good time—as long as you aren’t cooking Greek,” she jokes.

“Oh, very funny. I was actually not thinking Greek. I’m making your favorite, stuffed Portobello caps with pesto, a nice big salad, garlic bread, and tiramisu.”

“Wow, you know how to make a girl happy. I’m sure lucky to have you in my life, Syd.”

I’m sure you are.

“Nah, girl, I’m the lucky one.”

“Sure, sure. Anyway, I was only stopping by to see if you were feeling better. I have to help my mom out with one of her patients today, she’s out of town. I’ll be back around five-thirty, is that good?”

“Perfect timing, actually. I’ll see ya’ then.”

She pecks my lips as she passes through the narrow doorway, catching me by surprise. I twist my head away before the kiss can go any further.

“I’m sorry, Syd. Too fast?”

“No, I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

“Uh, okay, I’ll see ya’ later.” She blushes out the door.

My god that was close.

As soon as I hear the front door close, I throw the bracelet back in Heather’s drawer and exit from the creepy shrine.