Authors: Karina Gioertz
Sawyer’s gun was drawn as he moved further into the room. All four of Mancini’s guys had reached for their weapons and were now pointing them directly at Sawyer. No one was paying any attention to Jordan anymore. Well, almost no one. Sawyer’s eyes remained locked on her like a laser as he continued to maneuver his way in her direction.
“You should really lock the doors next time Gabe. Can’t have just anyone walking in on you,” Sawyer taunted.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to crash a party?”
Sawyer shrugged. “I just assumed my invite got lost in the mail. I’ve been on the move a lot lately, so…”
“Tell me Sawyer, how do you plan to get out of here alive? Hm? You’re outnumbered. Even if you shoot one of my men, there are still three others who will shoot you. You’ll be dead before your body even hits the ground.” Mancini’s finger had stopped traveling the rim of his glass. Instead his entire hand was now clutching the edge of his desk so tightly his knuckles were turning white.
“Oh, I’m not planning to shoot your men,” said Sawyer, finally coming to a stop. “I plan to shoot you.” The words had barely passed his lips when Jordan saw Sawyer close his eyes and she realized what was about to happen. The entire room went dark. Jordan’s chair was pushed to the ground as the sound of gunfire rang through the air, exploding in the small confined space of Mancini’s office.
Jordan tried to count the shots, but everything was happening too fast and before she knew it, a dead silence set in. She just laid there as still as possible, waiting for the lights to come back on and terrified of what she would find when they did.
Her eyes were still closed when she felt a hand on her wrist as the chair she was sitting in was gently being returned to an upright position. The lights came on just as she lifted her lids again. It was Sawyer.
“Where did you get the idea to pull a stupid stunt like that?” Jordan mumbled. She was instantly taken aback by the ragged sound of her own voice.
“Some crazy paramedic I met a while back,” said Sawyer. He was smiling at her, but in his eyes Jordan could see the truth. The sight of her battered face was making him ill with fury and taking out the men who had hurt her had done little to ease his anger. Moving quickly, he did his best to be gentle as he removed her cuffs and helped her up. “Come on. Let me get you out of here. Fish is waiting outside in the Jeep.” Jordan didn’t respond. She just lay limp in his arms with her head on his chest as he scooped her up and carried her out.
It wasn’t until she spotted Fish in the driver’s seat that she perked up again.
“Let me down,” said Jordan.
“Hang on, we’re almost there,” said Sawyer, not understanding what she wanted.
“It’s okay, I can drive.”
“Yeah, okay,” Sawyer replied mockingly. He completely ignored her request and went straight for the backseat; only it was already occupied.
“You brought Jet?” Jordan was really growing tired of being surprised in every turn.
“Bloody well had to, didn’t I?! She damn near got us both killed when she launched herself onto the hood as I was driving off!”
Jordan couldn’t help but laugh. She regretted it instantly as the pounding in her head returned. Sawyer was watching her with eagle eyes and noticed.
“We need to get you checked out. Fish find a hospital!”
“Are you insane? We can’t go to a hospital. They’ll call this in and Mortison will be there two seconds later! Besides, it’s not as bad as it looks.”
Fish glanced back at her over his shoulder. “So you’ve seen yourself then, have you? Because it looks pretty effing bad.”
Sawyer pressed his lips together angrily and glared at Fish. “You’re not helping.” Then he turned his attention back on Jordan. “It’s nothing that won’t heal, but I am worried about any damage there might be that we can’t see.”
Jordan smirked. After what had happened and everything she’d heard said about Sawyer in the last twenty-four hours she really wasn’t sure how she felt about him. Part of her was still pissed at Sawyer, even though she was now fairly sure that everything Mortison had said about him had been nothing but lies. Then of course there was the other part of her that wanted to burst into tears of gratitude just thinking about the moment he had shown up to save her. That was the side that won out. It hadn’t hurt any that Sawyer continued to dote on her with a genuine concern for her wellbeing.
“Listen buddy, which one of us here has had medical training, huh? I’m fine. I doubt I even have a concussion.”
“Oh, you should check her pupils,” Fish piped up, excited to have something useful to add.
“Why don’t you just check the road,” said Jordan. “There’s a whole lane thing going on up ahead and p.s. – in this country we generally stay on the
right
side. Helps to avoid any unnecessary collisions.”
Fish brought his attention back to the road just in time to swerve out of oncoming traffic. He swore under his breath, but said nothing more. For the rest of the drive the only time he even looked at Jordan was when he glanced in the rear view mirror.
Less than thirty minutes had passed since they had left the Mancini warehouse when Fish pulled the jeep into an underground parking garage.
“What is this place?” Jordan asked as the car came to a stop.
“An apartment building,” said Sawyer. He was already getting out and walking to the back to help her out.
“Yeah, I got that. What are we doing here? Do you know someone who lives here?”
Sawyer shrugged. “Sort of.”
“What does that mean?” This time Jordan looked to Fish who was struggling to make his pet leopard look casual.
“Gabriel Mancini’s got a place here. It’s nice, right? Penthouse, I think.” He was talking to Sawyer now.
“Yup. And since he’s not going to be using it…”
Jordan felt the bile rise in her throat. The last thing Jordan wanted was to set foot into Gabriel Mancini’s home. Well, second to last thing anyway. The idea of camping out in the Jeep or being stuck in the backseat with Jet while they drove all the way back to Alabama seemed even less appealing. So, she pushed aside her feelings of disgust and hatred and let Sawyer lead the way into the enemy’s lair.
The building was even fancier on the inside than it appeared on the outside. Although Jordan only briefly saw any of it, since she was hurriedly shuttled over to the stairwell used only in case of emergencies, to avoid being seen by any of the residents. It was hard not to take offense, but she told herself it was because of the news reporting her death and not because she looked so hideous that she could no longer be seen by society.
Fish hadn’t been kidding. Gabriel’s place was more than nice. Not exactly the décor Jordan would have chosen, but definitely right up Mancini’s alley. Sawyer had clearly been there before. It was obvious by the way he knew where everything was, starting with the spare key which was stashed in the left breast of a vase the shape of a naked mermaid that stood beside the main entry. Once inside, Sawyer disabled the alarm without any problems and shortly thereafter the trio was moving about the penthouse apartment unrestricted.
While Fish went about finding something suitable for Jet to eat, Sawyer took Jordan into one of the bedrooms. It had an attached bathroom with a large shower equipped with multiple massaging showerheads and Jordan couldn’t wait to get inside it to let the hot water and steam engulf her body, banishing all the filth she had been exposed to since arriving back in the city. Carefully, Sawyer helped her peel off the layers of clothing, doing his best to avoid her injuries while he did so. When he was sure that there was nothing more he could do to help, he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.
Alone at last, Jordan turned on the water and waited for sweet relief to take her. The hot water felt amazing and she relished the feeling of warmth and comfort that came from standing in its midst. She stood there for what felt like an eternity, allowing the waves of water to run over her battered body until she could feel the heat subsiding. At last she turned the nozzle, bringing her shower to an end. When she stepped out onto the cold tile floor, she quickly tiptoed across the room to reach the counter where Sawyer had placed a stack of towels for her. She took the first one off the top and wrapped it around herself. The mirror above the sink was completely fogged over from the steam and Jordan automatically reached up to wipe it with her bare hand. She jumped back at sight of the face staring back at her. It was the first time since her run in with Mancini and his men that she had seen her own reflection. Jordan wasn’t sure if it had just conveniently worked out that way or if she had on some level intentionally avoided this moment. Fish had been right. It
was
pretty effing bad. Her bottom lip was busted open and three times the size it normally was. She had a massive gash on her left eyebrow that probably could have used some stitches to avoid scarring, as it was, she would have a permanent keepsake to remind her of Mancini for the rest of her life. Half of her face was bruised and swollen so badly, she could hardly see her one eye while the other seemed to be abnormally drawn into its socket which was only accentuated by the dark grey shading that had set in around it from stress and exhaustion. It was all too much for Jordan to take. She could feel herself caving in internally as though she was a blow up doll that was unexpectedly being deflated. Her body slid down along the wall and sank to the ground where she lay curled up in a fetal position, still soaking wet and clinging on to her towel for dear life as though it would magically grant her the strength she so desperately needed. Every ounce of emotion Jordan had ever denied herself suddenly came crashing down on her, as though seeing her broken face had somehow triggered the realization that her spirit was just as damaged and had been equally assaulted. She had come to terms with loss a long time ago. Grieving had never been something she was good at, but surviving, that she had mastered. It was that very skill that had gotten her through everything and that very flaw that was now her downfall.
Starting with Travis abandoning her, the turmoil of the first time Jordan had met Sawyer and then learning of the crushing pain she had inflicted on her family by not coming forward and letting them know that she was alive, it all had left her sanity hanging by a string. It wasn’t until now that Jordan even understood the depths of the pain she had been stuffing aside. Of course the worst of it had been leaving Sawyer. The fear of what would happen to him had eaten away at her and only increased with each passing hour that she hadn’t heard from him. When things had turned from bad to worse after her run in with Mortison, Jordan had been too numb to even digest everything and even though she already knew that Sawyer had in fact been honest all along, all the feelings from the moment she had learned he had betrayed her and the devastation they had marked her with still had to be felt. And so, she lay there, sobbing into her towel and pressing her bare skin to the icy tile beneath her as though it could somehow draw out all of the pain.
Jordan was so caught up in the terror of her own misery, she didn’t even hear the door open or the sound of Sawyer’s shoes as they stepped into the trail of puddles she had left in her wake. Without saying a word, he lifted her from the ground up into his arms, leaving the length of her body leaning against his as he held her upright. Jordan was shivering, not only from the cold but also from the emotional shock that had set in. Fully clothed, Sawyer climbed back into the shower still cradling her in his arms and turned the nozzle up full force. Slowly, Jordan regained control of her trembling body while the tears continued to stream down her face, traveling down until they found their way out with the drain. All the while, Sawyer held her close, rocking her softly and repeatedly promising, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
It was dark out when Jordan stepped out onto the balcony to find Sawyer. After her experiencing what she could only consider an emotional cleansing, she had fallen asleep in his arms feeling exhausted and utterly drained. She had woken up to find herself alone in a pitch black room and panic had set in again almost instantly. Jordan had to take several deep breaths to calm herself back down and keep from screaming out Sawyer’s name repeatedly like a child would call for her parent after having a nightmare. She hated herself for feeling that way and despised having her most intimate emotions so raw and exposed, but there was nothing she could do about it.
Sawyer’s feelings weren’t much different from hers. He was completely on edge when Jordan slid the glass door open and walked outside and it showed in his rapid reactions as he rushed to her side the moment he saw her.
“Hey you. You should be in bed resting.”
“What about you? You don’t need sleep anymore? You know, come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you sleep at all….You’re not going to like, start sparkling and shit are you?!” Jordan asked.
For the first time in what seemed like forever, she saw Sawyer grin.
Jordan reached up to stroke the side of his face with her hand. He hadn’t shaved in a while and specs of gray hairs were mingled among the otherwise blond scruff. Jordan wondered if they had always been there, or if the stress of the last few days had aged him so significantly. As her fingers traveled up the side of his face, she brushed over the cut on his forehead she had caused the first night they had met. It had healed up nicely. Jordan was so busy soaking up every detail of Sawyer’s face, she didn’t see that he was doing the same thing with her.
***
The ache in his heart was overwhelming as Sawyer peered down at Jordan’s face. Of all the people who had gotten hurt due to crossing his path, she was the one he regretted hurting the most. Part of him had known for a while that ultimately he’d have to let her go for her own safety, but the other part hadn’t been convinced he was capable of giving her up. That was over now. Sawyer had cut ties with any illusions he might have had that he could protect Jordan from the dangers he was up against. The truth was staring him square in the eye and the image would be burned into his memory forever. Never would he forgive himself for what Gabriel had done to Jordan. No amount of vengeance or justice would ever undo the damage that had been done and Sawyer would have to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life. The only cross he’d find harder to bear, was spending that life without her in it.
Sawyer couldn’t pinpoint the moment it had happened, nor did he know how long he had been aware of it, but he was in love with her. More in love than he had ever been with any other woman, more than he had even thought possible. Only Jordan would never know.
***
Jordan had the words right at the tip of her tongue. Three little words so powerful she had resolved long ago to never utter them again unless she was absolutely sure that they were true. And she was sure. So sure, that she didn’t even care whether he said them in return. She just wanted to say them, but instead she heard herself ask, “When are you going to tell me what happened?”
“Whenever you want me to. I didn’t want to add to your stress, but I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” said Sawyer. He took her hand and led her over to the chaise lounge near the fire ring off to the side. All it took was the flip of a switch and the ring came to life with the warmth of dancing flames. Together, they sat down on the chaise, Jordan nestling herself up against Sawyer for comfort and warmth as he began to fill in some of the holes for her.
“After we split up I went to meet Hathaway just like I said. The confrontation didn’t last long. Justus wasn’t exactly in the mood to chat, he was out for blood. It didn’t take me too long to figure out that only one of us was walking out of there alive. Thankfully, it was me. I searched his car and his pockets for anything that might help me figure out what was going on but all I found was his phone. Not that there was much I could do with it at the time, but I knew Fish would be able to, so I took it.
“I decided to hang around a bit, see if anyone else would show up looking for me. It took a day and a half, but finally two guys turned up poking around the house.”
Jordan lifted her head, “Did you confront them too?”
“Didn’t have to. I recognized one of them, Victor Tanzola, from when I was on Gabriel’s crew. At first I figured they were there for the same reason Hathaway had shown up, to take me out, but then I overheard them talking and realized they weren’t looking for me, they were looking for Hathaway.”
“So what did you do?”
“I got out of there. They never even saw me. After that, I decided to lay low. If men who were previously enemies were suddenly working together, there was no telling to what lengths they would go to hunt me down. And don’t tell Fish I said this, but he’s not exactly the only hacker in town. I mean, he’s brilliant and definitely one of the best, but knowing the things he’s able to do to track someone down, I didn’t want to risk someone tracking me the same way. So, I did everything I could not to leave my mark in cyber space.”
Jordan looked hurt.
“I just wish you could have gotten some kind of message to us. I was going out of my mind wondering if you were alive or dead.”
“I’m sorry…but all I could think about was how relieved I was
not
to have to worry the same thing about you and I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that in any way. Besides, even though I couldn’t make contact with you, Fish was still getting messages to me. And thank God he did, because if he hadn’t, I never would have known how to find you.” Sawyer paused, still staring at Jordan and lost in thoughts about what could have been. He didn’t know if he was furious with himself for having shown up so late, or grateful for having gotten there before things got any worse.
Jordan could see by the tormented look in his eyes, that Sawyer was busy torturing himself over her encounter with Gabriel. She reached up and smoothed some windblown strands of his blond hair back into place. Instantly, his eyes focused and she knew he was back.
“So, Fish sent you a message after Mortison showed up? I wasn’t even sure he knew I had disappeared.”
Sawyer took her hand and held it in his. Staring down at it he said, “Oh, he knew. Not until it was too late of course, but he saw the lights as the car took off. Shortly after, he said your uncle was roaming the grounds with his shotgun handy while Fish was searching for you over at the abandoned farm along with his new buddy, the cat.” Sawyer broke into half a smile as he referenced Jet, but turned stern again right after. “Maybe next time you could let someone know before wandering off into the dead of night all alone.”
Jordan lowered her gaze and said, “Maybe.” She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, letting all of the new information sink in. As she was busy digesting everything, it occurred to her that he wasn’t the only one who had made some new discoveries. Gabriel Mancini had made a full-blown confession moments before Sawyer showed up and she still hadn’t had a chance to tell him about it. He had probably managed to piece most of it together by now on his own, but he still deserved to hear what Mancini had told her. Especially considering how personal this attack on Sawyer had turned out to be.
“The Mancinis and Espositos aren’t working together,” she blurted out.
“What?”
“You said you thought that men who used to be enemies were now working together. They weren’t. Gabriel just wanted it to look that way. He’s been behind all of this from the very beginning. He’s the one who set you up to take the fall for killing the Esposito kid and then he hired the Esposito hit-man to make it look like they were coming after you. This whole thing was set into motion to create a war between the two families. It was just a distraction to keep them from noticing that Gabe was taking over.”
Sawyer pulled himself away from Jordan just far enough so he could see her face.
“How do you know all of this? Did Mortison tell you that?”
“No, that piece of shit told me plenty, but none of it was useful.” Jordan frowned thinking about all the things he had told her about Sawyer to try and turn her against him. A wave of shame hit her like a nauseous sensation in the pit of her stomach, knowing it had worked. “Mancini told me everything. Said it wouldn’t hurt for me to know the truth since I wouldn’t be alive long enough to tell anyone else. Said the whole thing started because he found out his father was going to hand the organization over to you. And just in case you hadn’t already figured it out, Mortison’s the one who sold you out in the first place and told Gabe you were a cop. He’s also the one who leaked all that shit about me to the media. A real gem that one…”
Jordan could tell by the way Sawyer’s lips were pressed into a thin line and his jaw was grinding back and forth that he was fuming with fury, but trying not to show it for her sake.
“Jordan…”
She sat up and turned to face him completely. Without answering, she simply cupped his face in both of her hands and kissed him tenderly. Sawyer’s anger turned to pain and he was certain he would drown in his own hurt and shame. A single tear escaped him and trickled down his cheek where it got caught in his scruff. Jordan felt the warm damp hairs in her hand and opened her eyes.
“Stop it. Stop blaming
yourself for what happened,” she whispered. “I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions and if you keep taking responsibility for them it’s really going to piss me off.”
This time, Sawyer wouldn’t let himself be taken off track by her.
“Jordan,” he began again. He wasn’t sure if this was the time to do it or not, but then there might not be another chance and he needed her to know.
“Remember when you asked me who I had lost?”
Jordan nodded.
“It was my sister. She was several years younger and from the time she was fourteen, my parents battled with her over her drug addiction. By the time she was eighteen, she had already been through three different rehab centers. After that, she took off on her own and there was nothing more my parents could do. I didn’t see her for a long time after that. I was already a cop at the time, and for many months after she took off, my parents hounded me daily hoping I had seen or heard of her while I was out on street patrol, but it wasn’t until I had moved on to working undercover that she popped back up on my radar.” Sawyer paused and Jordan could see how hard it was for him to talk about this.
“I was supposed to bust this prostitution ring that was busy recruiting underage girls by hooking them on meth and then forcing them to pay their tabs by selling themselves to every pervert that came calling. I hated the assignment for who I had to become and the people I had to deal with, but I knew someone had to do it to put a stop to what was happening. I was getting close when she showed up. She was one of the girls working for them. Of course she recognized me immediately and she was high as a kite, so she sold me out in an instant, thinking it would score her some more crystal, only things didn’t work out that way. She was expendable to them and they were pissed at me, so they used her to send me a message.” Sawyer was struggling to get the words out, but Jordan didn’t need him to finish. She knew him well enough to understand why he needed her to know. He felt responsible, the same way he had when Jordan had been attacked. Except that neither one had been his fault.
“Sawyer…you can’t be everybody’s hero, but that doesn’t mean that you’re responsible for those that you can’t save.” She reached up and gently stroked the side of his face with her hand. “You saved me and God knows, I didn’t make it easy.”
Sawyer still couldn’t look her in the eye, but he nodded and forced a small smile.
“That’s right, fake it ‘til you make it,” Jordan said in her usual dry tone, this time succeeding in making Sawyer laugh in spite of himself.
“You’re too much, you know that?” he teased her as he pulled her back into the safety of his arms.
“You’re telling me. Most days I can barely handle myself.”
For a while they both just sat there, mesmerized by the flames, neither of them saying a word. Jordan was about to break the silence again when a light went on inside, unveiling the silhouettes of three men, none of which belonged to Fish. A second later one of the men screamed and the sound of Jet’s roar reached them like a hacksaw cutting through wood.
“Fish!” Jordan and Sawyer jumped to their feet simultaneously.
When Sawyer noticed that Jordan was right on his heels, he spun around and stopped her.