Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) (19 page)

“No. I never did.” She smacks me on the behind, so I return the favor, then freeze, but she's laughing so hard, I lighten up. “Other than Karaoke, I never sing.”
“So, you knew you were good.” I drop her to her feet.
She’s grinning from ear to ear and there’s a devilish glint lighting up her dark eyes. “I tried to show you at the club, but you pissed me off.”
I smack my head. “Woman, no more secrets. Please.”
“That was about my last one.”
I kiss her and back her up against a van. She snakes a leg around my waist, and I lift her. Hoots and hollers sound behind us.
“Hey you two, knock it off!”
Gabe grabs me and pushes, and I nearly crush Alice. “Dude.”
She's laughing again, and it does my heart good to see her so happy. “Let's party!”
We decide to meet up at The Basement to celebrate. Molly even seems cool with it, so I know she must have been before.
We're almost there when Alice slips her hand to my thigh. “I saved your ass tonight.”
I lift her fingers to my lips and kiss each one. All the years of looking for a lead for my lyrics, and I finally found her. “Yes, you did.”
“So, I guess that makes me your heroine.”
“Baby, you've been my drug of choice since I met you.” She giggles and drops her head to my shoulder. “Seriously, you can be my Super Woman any day.”
At the club, Hank waves us right in. “I hope you saved those pipes for the stage here.”
I’m sucking fucking proud of her, I want to lift her off her feet and just carry her everywhere, but that would put the spotlight on me and this is her gig.
She leans back against my chest. “How did you know?”
“In this city, news travels fast.” He chuckles. “Have fun.”
We all squeeze into a booth and order from one of the waitresses. It doesn't take long for Evan and Deacon to go on the prowl for tonight's hookups. A performance like that gets the adrenaline pumping. I can't wait to get Alice home and fuck her until she sings for me again. Gabe has his head buried in Molly's neck and she's completely oblivious to any of us. I'm glad they are getting along so well. Molly seems really grounded.
A light lands on our table and the DJ's voice sounds above us. “Alice Harrison, get your skinny ass up here.”
She kisses me on the lips and climbs onto the table. “I'm on my way!”
I laugh at her. She's never been this carefree and honest about her emotions. I wish I could give her this every night.
Molly breaks away from Gabe and wipes her lips. Gabe licks his, and I worry that he'll run her off if he doesn't slow it down a little. He raises a brow at me and grins, showing the James’ dimple in his right cheek. I still remember wiping tears from his eyes when our mom left. I can’t believe that we’ve made it this far as whole as we are.
Alice is lifted up on stage by three brawny guys, and I laugh when she kisses each of their heads like they are toddlers. The crowd around the stage is small, but the noise level rivals the packed venue we just came from. They love her too.
Whoa.
Shit.
I love her. My legs lock, and something sinks low in my gut. I love Alice. My breath evens out and I lose focus on the crowd around me. I fucking love Alice. Like I’d go to hell for her and clean up vomit and shit when she gets hung over. I love her like I can see her smile at the end of an altar. I love her like my dad loved my mom before she lost her soul to pills.
I tap Gabe's shoulder. “I'm going to the head.”
He nods and I rush from the table. In the bathroom, I throw hands full of cold water on my face and wait for the churning in my stomach. I’ve never been in love with a girl. I should be panicking, but nothing’s happening.
A man walks in and uses the urinal behind me. “That's one good looking woman on stage.” He's talking about my girl. I glance at him in the reflection of the mirror and try to ignore the comment. “Man, I'd love to get a piece of that.”
I wipe my hands on my jeans and catch a glimpse of the pisser in the mirror. He’s a big guy and quite a bit older than most of the club clientele. His jacket is leather and large and hiding most of his body—it’s Fall in Texas. No one needs a coat yet.
The idea of this dildo handling his wood while he’s thinking of my girl doesn’t sit well. “Hey, that's my girlfriend.”
He zips up and walks to the sink. “Is she?” Something solid pokes me in the ribs. “That's not my prick in your side. Mr. Harrison would like a word with you.”
I could probably take this goon in a fist fight, but I’m not stupid enough to think I'll out hit a bullet. He leads me out of the bathroom and straight to the exit. We climb the stairs and head into the dark night. Alice is probably finished with her song by now and I only have a small amount of time before she'll become frantic--or worse, she'll think I bailed on her.
We stop at the limo parked in front and the back door opens. “Get in.”
I sit in the back seat across from the devil himself and ball my hands into fist to keep from slapping the shit out of him. I should be inside, celebrating and enjoying the woman I love. “You could have just asked for a meeting.”
“You're fucking my daughter. I get that. Hell, I even envy it a little. But, the one thing I won't do is incest.” He takes a sip of red wine and eyes me. “But, I'm sure she's a good lay. Her mother was the best. Bleated like a sheep, that one.”
I keep my face a mask of indifference, but inside my stomach rolls, and I gnash my teeth together to keep from losing it with him. Alice was at the hands of this monster for years. “What do you want?”
“I want you to leave my daughter alone. Step out of her life.” He folds his hands over one crossed knee, the leg of expensive suit not even crinkling beneath his hands. I glanced outside, but the tinted windows kept our little interlude private. “If you don't, I'll personally make sure that it ends.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens and a low growl breaks through my control. “You'd kill her?”
“In a heartbeat.” I grip the edge of the seat to keep from launching myself at him, but in my mind, I’m shattering the wine glass, cutting off his dick, and feeding the weak appendage to him until he chokes and dies on it. “That ungrateful brat has done nothing but cause me problems. I left her alone two years ago, but I found out she has something of mine. I want it back.”
The tension in the cab of the limo is oppressive and I’m not sure if it’s just Harrison’s disgusting persona or if it’s the fear coating my body in a light sweat. “So how does my leaving her alone help you?”
“If you're not around, then she won’t be so distracted. With her focused, I’ll get what I want a lot faster.”
There is no way in hell I'm leaving Alice alone. No one deserves this for a father. “And what if I go to the police with these threats?”
“You mean Chief Hollis? Or what about the mayor? Maybe he'd help.” He sat forward, one dark brow rising in question, and a grin twitched over perfectly straight teeth. “I own those fuckers. Just like I own your father.”
No. Not Dad. He wouldn’t get involved with someone like Harrison. I leaned in, getting right in this prick’s face. “What?”
“Your father is the senior broker at James and Stratton Real Estate. He's owned it what, thirty years?” Harrison disengaged and sat back, wiping at an imaginary piece of lint on his dark suit cuff.
Shit. Shit. Shit. “Don’t fuck with my family.”
“I hear that you and your dad don't get along so well.”
“That may be true, but we're the James men, and we stick together.”
He twirls the liquor in his glass like some freakin' bad eighty's movie. “Take my advice. Leave my bastard alone.”
My jaw twitches, hell, everything is twitching. I want to fuck his shit up and wipe that smarmy grin off his face. No one talks about Alice like that. My dad would have to survive this, because there is no way in the world I am leaving the woman I love to this dick. Never. “I'll take your advice into advisement.”
“See that you do.”

W
E FIND
S
ETH STANDING OUTSIDE
, propped up against the side of the building. He reaches for me and pulls me against him. “Hey.”
I’m supposed to be mad at him for leaving me, but it’s been a crazy night, and I’m still too high from the singing to pout. I laugh and nuzzle his neck, mint and sweat and everything that’s him surrounds me. “Hi, handsome.” I pull back enough to watch his guarded expression. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.” He’s smiling, but his eyes are dancing around my face. Never quite connecting with mine. “Did you have a good time?”
I lean in, propping my elbows on his hard abdomen and trace the design on his shirt. “Uh, yeah, but why are you out here?”
He releases me and tucks his hands in his pocket. A movement he has when he's solemn or shy. “I just needed some air.”
His mood is completely off and scaring me. “Okay, so are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Okay, we'll go.” I give him a quick peck, and when he's less than enthusiastic about returning the favor, I know something is definitely wrong. Maybe he’s angry with me for singing…or not telling him that I can sing. He didn’t seem mad earlier, but I’d saved his first gig. Anyone would be excited about that. But now he’s had time for it all to settle. I glance up at him, but he’s staring over my head. There isn’t anything to see out here, so I know that It’s just a way not to look at me.
We arrive at the apartments, and he stops by my door. For the last week, I’ve spent every night with him. Even on the nights that I’d had menstrual cramps, he made sure I was in his bed.
“Are we switching it up?”
He brushes a strand of hair out of my eye. “Don’t be mad.”
“Wha—”
“I think I'm going to hit the sack alone tonight. I need some sleep, and you probably need to rest those pipes.” Ouch. Don’t pull any punches there, buddy. His words completely suck out my happy buzz.
I twist my lips up, hoping that my smile doesn’t look like the vomit rolling around in my chest. “Okay.”
He smiles back, but there’s no life on his face. “Thanks for being cool about it.”
I nod. Gabe’s brows are furrowed low and Molly is clinging to his arm. Being pushed aside is bad enough, but having an audience makes it unbearable. I fish my keys out of my bag. Molly leaves the comfort of Gabe's arms and reaches for me. “I'll stay with you tonight.”
Gabe pushes Seth. “Why are you being an asshat?”
Seth staggers back. His shoulders drop and he’s almost listless. “I'm just tired. Let it go.”
Molly blows a kiss in Gabe's general direction, but it's not good enough for him. He reaches her side, flings her back over his arm, and kisses her until she's moaning. I take one last peek at Seth before he shuts his door on us. I've done something horrible. I just don't know what. I leave the door open, drop my purse on the floor, and hurry into the bathroom, slamming the door on the happy couple, before the tears start to fall.
Molly's heels click against the floor before she raps at the door. “Alice?”
“Leave me alone, please.” I brush away the mascara dribbling down my cheeks. My nose is red, and my cheeks are splotchy. I couldn’t even cry pretty.
“I won't. Come out and let’s talk this out.”
I open the door, and she hugs me. “I don't know what I did.”
“Honey, it might have been something with him. I know that their dad is hard on Seth, so maybe something happened there. Why do you automatically think that it has to do with you?”
“Because I destroy everything good in my life. Look at you. I ruined your eyes. I dropped out of school. I couldn’t save my mom. Hell, she probably didn’t want me. And we won’t even start on dad.” She rocks me against her and whispers sweet words while I cry. “I don't know why this hurts so much.”
“Because you love him, Alice.”
I lurch away. “If this is what it feels like, I'd rather go back to being numb.”
Molly giggles. I can’t believe she finds this funny. I glance up at her sightless stare and want to cry even harder. “It's well worth the pain.”
I'm not so sure that I agree with her, but I don't want to argue about love. We end up in Molly's bed, and she's painting my toenails, or at least trying. I’ll have a huge pink mess to clean up later, but it’s nice to see her trying. It's four in the morning, and neither of us are tired yet. The last time we pulled an all-nighter was after one of my dad's special sessions, and I couldn't lie on my back.
“When is the last time we've done this?” I shake my head like I don't know, tracing a scar on my thigh that won’t let me forget. I remember to the date.
“Hmm... Mole, this really helped me.”
“I'm so glad. Tomorrow, I bet Seth is really mad at himself that you spent the night alone.” She raises her stare to my face. “He's crazy about you, Al, and after that performance, I think he's jumped the cliff.”
I thought so too. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I'm having lunch with dad.” She raises her hands in an attempt to ward off my irritation. “I know you and he don't really get along, but I still love him.”
Of course, she would. Harrison had never laid a finger on her. “I know. It's okay.”
“Alice, someday you'll have to forgive him.”
I was always really careful not to show Molly the extent of his abuse, but she'd noticed bruising once. I'd told her that he spanked me, and I moved too much. She'd let it go, but warned me to be good so I wouldn't need to be punished. I'd really tried to be good, but nothing seemed to please him. I'm not even sure he'd be satisfied with my death.
I make sure that I'm gone when my father picks up Molly. She hoped I'd stay and have a few words with him, but I just couldn't. I'm running through the park, and I'm freer than before, knowing he's busy with Molly.
A familiar large truck parks by the curb ten feet in front of me. Shit. So much for feeling free. Something is eating at him, and I get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like being tossed aside.
Seth steps out and hurries into my path. “Alice, we need to talk.”
“I'm trying to run.” I dart around him and return to my normal rhythm.
He jogs to keep up. “I need to talk to you.”
“I don't really want to talk to you right now.” I'm about to start the turn when two arms wrap around my waist, and I'm suddenly upside down over a shoulder. “Put me down, you asshole.”
“We're going to talk.” He tosses me in the truck, and I go back and forth between jumping from the truck and locking him out. Either one would piss him off and make me even more miserable. Seth jumps in and takes off. We drive for several miles without speaking. The foot between us might as well have been a mile. Seth drapes an arm over the back of the seat, his fingers super close to catching one of my curls, but I lean against the door. He didn’t get to turn it on and off when he wanted.
I know where he's taking me, and I don't want to go there.
We park near the grassy bluffs overlooking the water, and I want to stay in the truck. If we get out, he's going to tell me that whatever we'd started was over. He drags himself out of the truck like he has a twelve-pound anvil hanging from his neck.
I shake my head when he opens my door. The wrinkle on his forehead, and the stubborn set to his jaw sinks home the need to stay in the truck. “I'm fine here.”
“Alice, get out of the truck.” He’s all barking and pissed hottie, but it works. If I ever want to get out of here, I’m going to have to get past this little talk he wants to have.
I slide down and walk along the ledge. “Why are we here?” He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I try not to breathe. To blink. Anything that might scare him away. “I don't understand.”
“I know, baby.” He kisses the side of my neck, a chaste, warm peck against the sensitive spot below my ear. My toes curl, and a part of me comes back to life. “I just need you to trust me for a while. Okay?”
I circle in his arms. How can he not get it? “Seth, you're the only man I've ever trusted. Don't you get that?”
He drops his forehead to mine and whispers, “I love you.”
I can't breathe again. I've been waiting for someone other than Molly to tell me that since birth. I cup his cheeks, my skin abrading on the sharp stubble lining his jaw, and kiss him. “Say it again.”
“I love you, Alice. I love you so much it scares me.” He pulls away and turns his back to me. He loves me, but he’s still not facing me. I’m panting around the idea of a possibility with this man. We might be able to make this work. I want to make this work. “But we can't be together.”
I drop to my knees, ignoring the damp grass. Bile burns the back of my throat. It would have been kinder to just push me over the cliff. “I hate you.”
He jerks like I've punched him in the kidney. “Don't say that.”
“I hate you. You're as sick as the sadist who marked my body.” I glance up at him, forcing him to see my demise. Seth swallows deep, his bottom lip quivers, and his blue eye’s blacken. “How am I supposed to get these scars off my heart?”
He crumples to the ground, on his knees like me. His shoulders curl in, his body aging right before my eyes. He jerks in short spasms like he’s holding back a sob, but his vision is blurred through the crystals filling my eyes. “I...can't...do this. I'm not good for you.”
I jerk to my feet, stumble past him, and climb back up into the passenger seat. I'm so angry the nerves in my hands are twitching. Seth takes his place again, but I don’t look at him. His breaths are the only noise filling the cab.
“Can you at least tell me why you love me, but can't be with me.” A black bird lands on the hood of his truck, teetering on the edge. I feel Seth's eyes on me, but I won’t look at him. Can’t. He’ll suck my soul into those pretty eyes.
“It's for…your…own good.”
I sigh, and lean my head against the back of the bench. I roll my head toward him, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. His eyes are searching my face. For what, I don’t know.
The only thing good for me right now is getting out of this truck and as far away from the man beside me. I duck my head to my chest, letting the loose curls that had fallen from my ponytail to hide my face. “I'm sure. Can you take me home now?”
There are tears hanging on his lashes, but I don’t want to see them. If I watch them fall, they’ll incite my own, and I’ve cried my last tear over this man. I’m empty now.
My phone chimes when we're half way back. The unfamiliar number scares me a bit. I take the call and in a steadier voice than I feel, I say, “Hello.”
Rowena's frantic voice crosses through the line. “Where are you?”
The only reason Rowena would call me is if something has happened to Molly. I clutch the phone tighter. “I'm on my way home.”
“Did you know that your father was having lunch with Molly?”
“Yes.” As much as I hate it, Molly will always have a civil relationship with her dad. “She still sees him on occasion.”
“And you let her go alone?”
This day just kept getting better. “Rowena, she's grown. He's never hurt her.” Seth's hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Listen, I'm sure—”
“You're so fucking stupid, Alice. Just like your mother. He may not be on you anymore, but what happens if he decides to take advantage of Molly.”
“She's your fucking daughter, why don't you do something about him and protect her yourself.” I roll the window down and throw the phone to the pavement. Fuck Rowena. Fuck my dad. And fuck Seth James.
He reaches over and grabs my hand. “Alice, what is it?”
“Stop.” I jerk away from his wonderful, comforting touch. “You don't get to act like you care anymore. It's my fucking problems. I don't need a hero. I didn't need one before you, and I won't need one now. I'll save myself. I'm pretty good at that.” He barely has the truck in park before I slam the door and race up the stairs to my apartment—no, Molly’s apartment. I need the exhilaration of racing up the flights. I don't think he's following me, but that just means he'll beat me to the top.
In our apartment, I find a brown suit jacket lying over the back of the couch and pick it up. The familiar scent of pine and smoke linger to the cloth. Molly is laughing, and then I hear his voice. I grip the material in my hands and wring it into wrinkled silk. I can't do this now. I turn and leave, rushing downstairs, and racing the few blocks to the Lace Cup.
Ms. Miriam comes right over with my favorite tea in hand. “Rough day, huh kid?” She pouts, her thin bottom lip tucked between her teeth.
“And then some. Thanks, Ms. Miriam.”
I watch the people pass by the window next to me. I'm not sure how my life suddenly became so shitty again, but I’m not surprised. If life gives you something that's too good to be true, it must be. And Seth James is definitely too good to be true.
With Molly improving, my dad will be around more. He’s good at bailing when things are hectic, but now that she’s able to get around with only minimal aid, he’ll want to dig his way back into her life. They’ll be spending time together at the apartment, and I’ll have to deal with him. He’ll be able to get at me whenever he wants.
I never thought I needed a hero, but having Seth in my life—even if it was for a brief time—made me realize how nice it is to have someone to have your back. How would I go on without that now? I wanted it back, but I wouldn’t find it here. I needed a change of scenery. Some place that monsters didn’t grin while stabbing you in the back.
Molly wouldn’t need me much longer. She’d get by with the help at Rowena’s. My dad could hire a live in for her. It’d probably make them all happier. Except for Mole. I know she’ll miss me. At least for a while.
I have money stashed from my mother's insurance policy. I didn't use it to save my apartment or my degree, because mom taught me to always have a backup. The money is sitting in an account that I haven't touched since her death. I pay Miriam for the slice of uneaten pie and drink and hurry out to take care of my business.
I walk to the bank and enter the lobby, still in my running suit. Thank goodness it's the afternoon on a Tuesday. There aren't many people inside. The teller smiles pretty at me, and I do my best to return the favor, but it feels forced, and when her eyes dull, I know she felt it too. She hands me my withdrawal and tells me to have a nice day. I'm sure she has to say it because her words lack any feeling. I carry my small wad of bills and head to the bus station. I'll secure a ticket and then head back home. Hopefully, I’ll be out of this town by nightfall.
I'm almost inside when a man steps in front of me. It's one of dad's lackey, the same one that tried to get me at the club. I'm not even scared anymore. I'm expecting him, and he knows it.