Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) (21 page)

“Mole, let it go.” The last thing I want to do is open up every old memory. “He was making me mad, and I knew that would get him to leave me alone. That's it.” I'm not sure why I cover for him. I think it is more for Molly than anything. She'd been through so much because of me, and I don't want to make her suffer more.
The front door opens and closes without a knock, and Gabe carries a single white rose to my sister. He kisses the side of Molly's head and waves the rose under her nose. She gasps and hugs him. “Oh my. A rose. I’ve never had anyone give me flowers before.”
He scowls and winks at me. “How did you know that it was only one?”
“I didn't hear the leaves brushing together.” She pats the seat next to her. “Sit. We were about to eat. I'm sure Alice wouldn't mind if you stayed.”
He perks up. “Really?”
“Sure. Why not?” It is really too much to ask to get a moment's peace around here anyway. I make us each a bowl and take a seat, wincing as I sit.
Gabe catches a glimpse of me head on and flinches, but before he can say anything, I frantically shake my head. He grimaces at me, but keeps his mouth shut. “Ladies, I'm here to invite you to the apartment for practice in approximately two hours. What do you say?”
Molly grins around a bite. “Sure.”
I stare at my pasta, swirling the noodles around my fork. “I'm going to pass. Thanks.”
“Ah, come on, Seth will come around. He's being an ass, grumbling about some crazy girl who keeps him up at night. I have no clue who that would be, but you might do him some good—get his mind off of her. If for no other reason than to see that you're not wallowing in misery.”
But that's exactly what I want to do. I want to roll around in my bed and heal and cry and mourn. “You'll have to enlighten him.”
Molly places her fork in her bowl. “I can stay home with you if you don't want to be alone.”
“No. You go. Have fun.” I glance up at Gabe’s brooding face. “I'll be fine.”
“Molly, if you're done, why don't you head on over. I'll be there in just a minute. I want to speak to Alice.” He’s glaring at me like I’ve done something wrong to him. The only thing wrong is that he won’t leave this whole Seth thing alone.
She grins and brushes his cheek with her hand. “Don’t be hitting on my lil' sis.”
“Never. Only you.” Gabe hooks his fingers in Molly’s belt loops, tugging her until she’s off balance and falling into him. She laughs, and the fairy sound is so sweet. Gabe kisses her firmly, working his face across hers, and tugging on her bottom lip before he pulls away. I’m a voyeur on their passion. Seth kisses like that. With everything in his heart and mind. These James brothers have the 411 on a way to a girl’s heart. They break apart, both breathing heavy, and clinging to each other. He pats her on the butt, but only after she has a good grasp of her cane.
Molly shuts the door, and Gabe circles me. I'm hunched a little because it hurts to straighten. He’s watching every pained breath, inspecting me like a kid busted for shop lifting. He pokes his finger into my side. “Busted ribs?”
“No.”
“Did you fall?” His hands bracket my shoulders, gripping the chair behind my back. His shoulders hit the top of my head as he hunches over me. I’m not going to get off easy with him. Beneath the hot body, beautiful face, and charming exterior, there’s a steel mind and granite veneer waiting for the right time to surface. Sadly, his right time will be at my inconvenience.
I inhale a painful breath, settling my nerves, hoping that I don’t give too much away. “No, now would you let it be?”
“So help me God,” he shifts to my side, squatting down to eye level with me, “if that dick of a father laid a hand on you, I'll rip him a new ass.” He grips my chin, turning my gaze to meet his blue, searching one. “I mean it. What the hell happened?”
“There will be no ripping of asses.” So many people know now. So many friends that don’t care about my scars. I wish there was a way I could save them from this, but I don’t know how. I wasn’t strong enough to keep them out of my life, and now they will be victims of it. “And please don't say anything to Molly.” Dating Seth, I knew that he might tell his friends, but being faced with the knowledge that they know is more disturbing than what I thought it would be. For so many years, these secrets belonged only to me.
“Why the fuck not? She's not stupid, and just because she's blind, doesn't mean you can keep this from her. It's her father too.” Gabe is pacing, and I’m struck by how much he and Seth resemble each other.
I tip my head back, shutting my eyes on the man forcing me to face all of my problems. “I know.”
Several minutes pass. The tension is building in the air around me, and Gabe stops pacing. He turns on me, glaring, much like his brother would do. “What did he do?”
“He wants something, and I don't have it.”
Gabe rests his hands on the sides of my neck. “What. Did. He. Do?” I shake my head, and he exerts the slightest pressure to make me look at him. “What?”
I never thought I would trust a man after my father, but now I trust two. Gabe wouldn’t hurt me. I had no doubt of that. He may get pissed and rant and rave, but he wouldn’t physically harm me. The same thing that made Seth guarded against the world had opened up this big teddy bear. While Seth had worried over his mom’s leaving, Gabe had found a way to latch on to people. Maybe her leaving was the best thing for both of them. She’d taught them more about being a man in this world than most men ever learn. It’s okay to love and lose someone, but it’s not okay to treat them like shit and toss them aside. Gabe wouldn’t do that. Not like Seth.
And that does it for me. I break and begin to sob. I’m only crying for a second before he cradles me in his arms, eliciting a hiss when my stomach touches his hard abs.
His arms tighten around me, dragging me from the chair. “Mother fucker, Alice, what did he do?”
His hands go to my shirt, but I hold them down. The rigid grip he has won’t sway. “Please, please don't tell them. Don't tell anyone. He'll hurt you—them. He'll hurt everyone.” I slide my hands to his forearms with my nails digging in. “I'm begging you, Gabe. I've never ever begged for something ever. But, please don't.” If he tells Seth, they'll band together and try to take my father down. But dad owns everything and a little of everyone. I couldn't live with the guilt if he ruined their lives, or worse.
“This is fucked up.” He slams a fist in his palm. I’ve never seen a man bounce before, but Gabe is so filled with rage, he’s bouncing on the edge of his toes. “This is so fucked up, Al. He's my brother. He loves you. How the fuck am I supposed to keep this from him?”
“Just give me time, okay. Please.” I lean back and watch the muscles in his jaw tick. It must be a man thing. “I'll fix it. I'll find what he wants, and he'll go back to leaving me alone. I promise.”
He stills and watches me. There’s a truth behind his stare. He’s up to something, but I’ve not figured out all of his quirks yet. “How long do you have?”
“Two weeks.”
“I'm giving you three days, and then we have to find a game plan.” He kisses me on the forehead. “I can’t believe I’m about to walk out of here, and I’m not going to kill him.” The room grows larger with every foot he puts between us. “I’m sorry, Alice.”
“You didn’t do anything.” I give him a weak smile. The day is taking its toll, and I want to sleep. “Thank you for being here for me.”
“No, you don’t get it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep this from Seth. I’m fighting a war here, and it’s not a battle I’m used to. Being bad is easy, but being good is harder.” He storms out of the room.
I'm not sure if he'll tell Seth, but it'll be hard for a guy as passionate as Gabe to keep it back. I wouldn’t blame him. If Seth were hurt, and Molly knew, I don’t know if I could forgive her for not telling me.
I have a short window of time to make everything right, or I'll just have to go away. And the departure might be permanent. I won't let the evil taint of my life touch those that I love. Not even those that don’t want to love me back.

M
OLLY ENTERS THE STUDIO ALONE
. I help her walk around the empty beer bottles the guys left last night that I haven't felt like picking up yet. “Here.”
She lets me help her sit, and her eyes catch mine. It's really too bad that she's blind. They are really pretty. But kind of sad tonight.
“What happened between you and Alice?” She flattens her hands on her thighs. “I know it's not my business, but you guys seemed really genuine.”
Hot as hell and totally bonkers over each other is a more apt description. “It’s just not going to work. Not right now anyway. It'll be weird if you and Gabe continue dating, but I don’t want to ruin anything you’ve started.”
A shy smile perks up one side of her mouth. “I really like him.”
“I can tell you, the feeling’s mutual.” She took the bait, and I’m lighter with the heat being transferred to Gabe. “He goes on and on about you.”
The front door swings open and Gabe stomps in, angry and unfocused, he punches me in the arm. A little harder than necessary. “Don't be lying to my girl.”
I rub at the tender skin on my biceps. “You don't go around singing about Molly?”
He doesn't rise to the bait, and I know something’s wrong. He touches Molly's chin as he walks past, but soon loses himself in the song he's been working on. His chords are all kinds of off, and his fingers are too tight to play correctly.
“If you don't loosen up, you'll never get the stretch you need for that chord.” He leans back and pops his knuckles, glaring at me, and then back to the piano. “What's wrong with you?”
Gabe’s glare takes on something sinister. His eyes darken, the tiny wrinkles at the corner deepens, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he hates me. “Nothing.”
Molly stiffens on the couch. “Maybe I should just go.”
Gabe glances at her. “No, baby, stay.” I’d never seen my brother soft with anyone before, but then again, these were Harrison women. They had something special about them, and I’m glad he’s finally found someone worth shedding the phony exterior he sported for everyone else.
Evan and Deacon stroll in, oblivious to the tension between Gabe and me. They each take a turn kissing Molly on the cheek before strapping on their guitars. Deacon nods at me. “So, we ready to get started. I want to fix my solo.”
They begin strumming, and I lean against the piano. “Want to talk about it?”
Gabe drops his head to his chest. “What the fuck are you doing with Alice?”
He wasn't going there now with the girl's sister right there on the couch. I straighten and kick the leg of his bench, jarring his big body. “Drop it.”
“You two are so much alike it's not even funny.” Gabe leans forward over the keys, pressing his hands to the top of the piano. “If you got your shit together long enough to talk, you might actually have a chance at a good relationship.”
He didn't understand, and I couldn't tell him. Alice had her secrets, but I knew most of them now. I don't want to make more trouble for her. I turn away and am halfway across the room when a set of arms wrap around my waist and lift me. Evan laughs until he notices that Gabe isn’t playing. Deacon rushes to remove his guitar strap, but it tangles in the collar of his blue striped button-down shirt. He yanks it over head and hurries to intercept us. Molly cries out, but Gabe doesn't slow down. He carries me in this weird wrapped up embrace through the apartment. I knew he was fucking strong, but I'm right at two hundred and can't be light.
He wraps a hand behind my neck and shoves me out of the apartment before I can twist away from him. A hard finger is thrust against my chest. “You are going to go take care of her.”
I dart my gaze between Gabe and Alice’s apartment. I’m not sure what the hell is going on here, but I’ve only seen Gabe like this one other time. Mandy Hubert had been knocked up by one of the football players at our school, and the guy didn’t plan on owning up to his responsibility. When Gabe overheard the douche mouthing about how good she was, it took three of us to wrestle Gabe to the ground. He’d been a freshman, and we’d all been seniors.
I threw up my hands. “What?”
“She needs you man, and you're not going to be a punk bitch about it.”
Oh, fuck. My throat tightens. A sick twisting sensation in my gut has me barking out, “Has something happened to Alice?”
“I don't know what it is. She wouldn't tell me, but she's hurting dude. You need to swallow whatever is going on with you and get over there and take care of her.” He hugs me, clasping me in a way he hasn’t in years. Whatever happened to Alice has freaked him out. “Sorry about manhandling you.” My bro is a scary shit and I'm glad he's in my corner.
The girls’ apartment is unlocked. The living area is dark, and so is the rest of the house. The only light is coming from the back, and it's pink. Gabe shuts the door, and I head toward the light. The door isn’t all the way shut. I take a breath, wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans, and I push it open. There in the middle of the bed, surrounded by paper and pencils, I find my broken girl. She's been crying, and her shirt has crawled up her thighs. She hasn't noticed me yet. I watch her work, and hope that she hasn’t totally checked out. I’d never forgive myself for abandoning her.
She’s so beautiful. Pale and small. She reminds me of my mom before the drugs. Strong beneath a fragile layer of glass. I just hope I haven’t shattered her.
She’s focused on a spot just over my head. I glance back at it and see a picture of me. It’s dark and brooding. It'll be only moments before she realizes that the real thing is standing right in front of her.
“Why are you here?” She startles me with the hollow drone of her words. I wasn’t expecting her to speak.
I step forward until the end of her bed presses against my thighs. “Gabe said that you needed me.”
“I don't need anyone.” Her eyes narrow into a vindictive glare. I didn’t know that my sweet Alice had it in her. “Least of all you.”
I sit on the edge of her bed and notice that she's drawn our bluffs. In some, there is a girl falling from the side, back facing the rocky ledge below, and her face is toward the paper. She's crying in the sketch, but Alice’s body has a girl's face—what I would expect she’d looked like much younger.
“This is you?”
She doesn't nod. I pick up the next picture, and in this one, she's kneeling over the edge, and I'm falling. I look peaceful, but she's broken. “Alice.”
“Please just go.” She rolls away from me, and if I hadn't been holding my breath, I may not have heard her whimper. “Just go.”
“Hey, what's wrong with you? This isn't like before. It's almost like you've just died inside.” I want to cry man-tears. I did this to her. I fucking robbed what little life she’d clung to when I told her I didn’t want her.
She sits up and like something off the Exorcist, spins her head without moving the lower half of her body. “Maybe I have. Tell me, Seth, what do I really have to live for? What in my life is so important that I should keep trying? Is that what you want to hear? That I'm miserable. Well, I am. I'm miserable and I'm hurting, and I just want it all to stop.” I crawl on the bed, shoving her pictures to the side and taking her in my arms. She struggles at first, but eventually leans against me. “I just want some peace.”
“I know, baby.” The burn in my eyes doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the one in my heart. “I'm so sorry.”
“I don't know how to fix this.”
I'm not even supposed to be here, and I have no answers for her, so I rock her against me until she falls asleep. She's feather light in my arms, and I gently lay her back. There's a bandage peeking from the bottom of her long shirt that has ridden up. I want to wake her and demand answers, but she's so tired and fragile.
I run next door and drag Evan back to watch Alice sleep. For some reason, it doesn’t bother me as much to have Ev be in her room as it would Deacon. I trust them both with my life, just not necessarily my girl. Evan didn’t see Alice that way. He’d always treated her as a little sister. I need the comfort of knowing that whoever watches over her, won’t make her feel uncomfortable, and I think she and Evan share similar history. We’d never talked about it, but when Ev and I met a few years back, he’d been in a really bad place and three inches from being pummeled by Gabe. His soft ways and easy manor are exactly what Alice would need when she woke up and found me gone.
I need to find a way to fix this and there's only one man who may be able to help me. If he'll listen to me. If I'm not too late.
William James is a man to be reckoned with. I sit down in the comfortable chair across from him and wait for his call to finish. He nods at me and holds a finger up in the air. “Fine. Fine. Don't let them get a hint of this. Let me know.” He replaces the receiver and takes a deep breath. “Seth, what do I owe the pleasure?”
“How are you, Dad?”
“Good. I can't complain. I hear that your first concert was an instant success. Some brilliant singer has really taken the music to the moon, or so I've heard.” He's trying, and I have to give him credit for that. “Was it that pretty girl you brought to lunch?”
“Yeah, Alice is amazing.” I glance up from the hole in my pants I’ve fingered into a gaping mass of shreds, “I honestly didn't know my songs could sound like that.”
He doesn't frown like I expect, but instead, sits back in his chair and crosses one leg over the other. “Seth, I'm going to do something that I don't normally do, and I'm afraid that I haven't done it enough to you boys. I'm going to apologize. I'm proud that you're making this happen for yourself.”
The room shrinks. My heart beats like a caged tiger in my chest. This has to be a joke. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, son. I'm proud of both of you. I've been waiting for you to come back to me to tell you.” He clears his throat, lifts his chin, and straightens the navy tie draping his chest. “I didn't want to seem like I was checking up on you. I know how you hate that.”
I'm pretty sure a black hole swallowed my real dad. “Uh, thanks.”
He sits forward and leans his elbows on his desk. “What can I do for you?”
And we were back to business. This I could deal with. I knew the no-nonsense behind this man. I gulp, and take two deep breaths. I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this. “I need your help.”
He steeples his hands under his chin. “Are you in trouble?”
“Not me. Well, not really. It's Alice.”
“Alice?”
“Yeah, she’s mixed up in a shitty situation. It’s her father. E. Harrison—governor elect. He’s bat-shit crazy and a fucking demon.” I stand and pace. Dad’s office has the normal four walls that every other office has, but today it feels like there are fifty corners, a dozen floors and ceilings, and only one way out.
“Wait. Are you telling me Alice is the illegitimate daughter of Erid Harrison?” Dad stood and tapped the desk with an index finger, driving home his point. “Seth this is bad. That man is evil incarnate.”
I drop my hands to my knees and try to calm the racing pulse beneath my skin. “The same.”
He raises his hand and rubs his eyebrows. “You just can't do easy, huh?”
“I'm sorry. Dad, Harrison is crazy.” I’m torn. If I tell my father all about Alice’s past, he’ll either do his best to help me, or he’ll withdraw, spiraling us back to the relationship we’ve forged over the last twelve years. No matter what, if it’s within my power, I have to at least try to help Alice. “He hurts her.”
Dad paces back and forth across the carpet, much like Gabe and I did when nerves got the better of us. “What the hell?” He glances up at me, stops, begins pacing again, and resumes staring at the floor. “Son, what do you want me to do with this information? I can't get involved in their family problems. She’s an adult now, surely she doesn't still let him—do things.”
I grab him by the elbow and yank him to a stop. We weren’t going this route. I’d let him walk away too much. And that’s not how he raised us. At least, not before. “Dad!”
“Okay, I'm sorry, but fuck, son.” He grabs my shoulders and squeezes. “I like Alice, but maybe you shouldn’t continue seeing her.”
I shake my head the ridiculous statement. “They live in the apartment across from me. I'm past just walking away.”
“Fuck.”
“Dad, he's threatening her for something, and he wants me to stay away from her so she'll focus. He’s powerful. I think he could mess with your business if I don’t help him. But he did something to her yesterday.” I scrub a hand down my face and meet my father’s keen gaze. Blue eyes clashing with blue. “I sat with her for a while last night, and she has bandages on her stomach.” I'm pacing again, and I want to punch something.
“Okay, okay, calm down.” He leans against his desk and rubs his chin. “Is it sexual?”
“No. At least, it wasn't.” God, if that sick fucker touched her like that, I’d kill him slowly. Feed him his dick and balls before getting to the really bad stuff. “Better not have been.”
He watches me and lifts his brow. I shrug, and a small smirk tilts the corner of his lip. “Well, do you know what he wants?”
“I don't. And Alice isn't talking either.” I drop down into the chair across from him, worn out from the mental exhaustion of plotting Harrison’s demise.
My dad’s leather chair squeaks beneath him. He rolls forward, back to the business man he’d always been. “Listen, son, you have to find out what he wants.”
“Well, I kind of fucked up. He wanted me out of the picture. He told me he wouldn't hurt her if I stayed away.”
The animal that lives in each of us James' men comes out of my dad. He slams his hands against the desk top, stands, and crouches over the pens and stapler like a big cat about to lurch across at me. “Did he stick to his word?”
“What part of ‘he hurt her’ did you miss? Dammit Dad.” I want to shove the neat stacks of papers across his desk, throw that stupid stapler through his high-rise window, and most importantly smack some life back into him. “We can’t take the high road here. These people don’t play this way.”
Dad taps his pen against the desk for a few beats. The rhythm oddly soothes me until he snaps the damn thing in half, sending a spray of ink across the wood. “Then what are you waiting for? Find out what he wants from her. She knows.”
Okay, now we’re talking. With Dad’s help, I can find a way to bring this asshole out into the open. I glance at my old man. He hasn’t always been there for me, but maybe Alice was right. Maybe he does love me. “What about you?”
“What about me? I’ve messed with men far more powerful than fucking E. Harrison. Don’t you worry about me none. And if he screws with my business, well, your mother's family left us very tidy when she died. I have a huge pension plan that he can't touch. Believe me, I can make it. And the islands might be nice this time of year.”