DUBIOUS (25 page)

* * *

I was driving home when I returned the call to Talisa. She was the one who had called earlier.

“
Hey, sorry I missed ya. I was getting my nails done.”

“
No problem. How did it go?” she said.

“
How did what go?”

“
Don’t play dumb. You know damn well he drilled me with fifty-thousand questions about you.”

“
And I should be mad at you for answering them. Thank you, girl. I had a wonderful time.”

“
What did you do?”

“
He took me to his house and cooked for me. He’s a very good cook.”

“
And not a bad piece of meat to look at.”

“
Oh, there you go.” I smiled because she was right.

“
Are you going to see him again?”

“
Yeah, we’re getting together in a few hours. Don’t know what he has planned, but I’m excited. He’s a real nice man.”

“
I know. I checked him out before I gave him your information.”

“
Girl, you are a hot mess, but I love you.”

“
Love you, too. Listen, I went by the office today to pick up a pair of shoes I had left and Frick was in your office going through your desk.”

“
Are you serious?” I almost slammed into the car in front of me.

“
Yeah. I asked her if I could help her, and she said she was looking for a memo that she had drafted for your signature. I don’t know what the hell she was looking for, but I scared her white ass purple. I told her she should come back when you were in the office.”

“
That bitch.” I made a right-hand turn onto my street.

“
I waited till she left and locked the door behind me. She won’t get back in there this weekend unless her crafty ass knows how to pick a lock.”

“
Damn … I’m going to have to start locking my office and my files when I leave the office. This doesn’t make any damn sense. I don’t fool with her and her clients; she should leave me and mine the fuck alone.”

“
I agree; but, girl, if you could have seen her face. It was priceless.”

“
I’m telling you the truth: I’ve had it up to my ears with that bitch. If management won’t do anything, they are going to find me packing up my files and my clients and hanging out my own shingle.”

“
Don’t forget to take me with you,” she said as if I would seriously leave her behind.

“
That’s a given. Thanks for the heads up, and good looking out.”

“
Enjoy your evening.”

“
I will.” I pulled into my driveway pissed the fuck off.

CHAPTER 28

I sat in the truck for a few minutes trying to gather the courage to go in. I had decided I wouldn’t mention the letter unless he did. What would I say about it? I still didn’t know. I finally put my courage in perspective, walked to the door, and readied myself to ring the bell.

Jamie answered the door before I could ring the bell as if he had been watching me through the curtains. That didn’t surprise me, but it did make me feel embarrassed because it made me look like a punk.

He placed a beer in my hand as soon as he closed the door. I unscrewed the cap and threw back half the bottle in one long gulp. I took a seat on the sofa. He had the football game on but the sound was muted.

“
So what happened with you, with the test?” I said, searching for a topic.

“
I don’t know, man, I just froze. I mean my mind knew all the answers, but I just couldn’t get my fingers on the right keys fast enough to finish the test. I mean, I got all the answers right to the ones I answered; I just didn’t finish enough of them to make a decent grade.”

“
That sucks, man, ’cause you worked real hard. If it wasn’t for you, I would have never passed the test.” I knocked back the other half of my beer.

“
It’s alright, man. Remember I work in an accounting firm already; I was just going for certification. Once I get that, it guarantees me a raise and an office instead of a cubicle. It will happen in due time.” He finished off his own beer and was going to get another one. “Is beer good for you or do you want something stronger?”

I looked at the empty bottle. “Man, give me something with a little punch in it. I’m still trying to unwind.”

“
Not a problem. I need something stronger myself.”

I heard the blender going, but I wasn’t curious enough to go see what he was whipping up. Actually, I was just exhausted. It had been a long week. He came back and gave me a drink. I took one swig and boy did it pack a punch. I would have to go easy on this shit or I would be out cold in no time.

“
Damn, man, what the hell did you put in here?” I said, staring into the glass of green liquid.

“
You really don’t want to know, just drink up. It’s been a long week. Is the game alright with you, or do you want to watch something else?”

“
I ain’t into football tonight, man. What I really want to see is a comedy. I need to laugh. You want to go catch a movie?”

“
I’ve got plenty of movies here. Plus, they won’t let you bring your drink in there. I can even pop some popcorn if you want some.”

“
What you got?”

He pointed to a book shelf. “They are over there, just pick out what you want to see.”

“
Hey, you have
Pulp Fiction
. I haven’t seen this flick in years,” I said as I browsed his selection.

“
I thought you said you wanted to see a comedy.”

“
I did … but I really like this one, do you mind?”

“
Naw, hand it here.”

I gave it to him, and he put it in the DVD player.

He had even went and made popcorn while I nursed my drink. We didn’t talk much but we drank a lot. Somewhere in the middle of the movie, I feel asleep. When I awoke, Jamie’s head was resting on my shoulder. Maybe it was the booze. Maybe I was just worn out; but, whatever the reason, I did not remove him. I wasn’t uncomfortable, so I just went back to sleep.

***

We woke up at the same time. He sat up as if his head hadn’t been resting on my shoulder. He went back into the kitchen and made up some more drinks. I went back to the bookshelf and pulled out another movie, but I really wasn’t paying attention to the name. I heard him on the phone ordering Chinese food, and that was fine by me too.

I took out
Pulp Fiction
and put in the new tape. This time, instead of sitting on the edge of the couch, I lay down. My thinking was if I had lain down, there would not be enough room on the sofa for him to join me. He would be forced to sit in the recliner in front of the television.

My theory worked.

We sipped and laughed at the antics of Jim Carey. This guy was a straight up fool. In this particular movie, he was God and was abusing the powers. When the food arrived, we put the movie on
Pause
and ate in the dining room. We were still drinking hard and were buzzed as hell, but it felt good. I knew I was going to feel like shit in the morning, but tonight, I was going to enjoy myself.

.I stretched and said, “Man, I don’t know what the hell you put in those drinks, but I can’t have no more of them. Just give me a beer for now.”

“
You punking out on me?” He glanced at me over his shoulder.

“
I ain’t no punk. I’ve got to be able to drive home.”

“
You don’t have to go tonight. I’ve got an extra bedroom. Hell, you can sleep in a bed for a change instead of the sofa.”

“
Now you want to clown a brother ’cause he’s down his luck.” I wasn’t mad, but his comment did have a sting to it.

“
Naw, nigga, I ain’t clowning. You said yourself you sleep on the sofa. I was just repeating what you told me.”

We turned the movie back on, and I lay back down on the sofa. I accepted another drink, despite my previous statement that I didn’t want another.

He pushed back in the recliner propping his feet in the air. “You know, now that you’ve passed your test, it’s a good chance I could get you a job at my dad’s firm. I told you they are always looking for new talent.”

“
Straight up, man, that would be alright. A brother needs some ends right about now.”

“
I’ll call him when I go to work on Monday and bring you an application.”

“
Thanks, man. I really owe you a lot.”

“
Hey, that’s what friends are for?” He sipped his drink.

It had been a long time since I had a friend. Felicia and Kelvin had been my only real friends for many years. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, but men also needed a number of other men to bond with just like girls had to have their own set of friends. Certain things she would not tell me that she would share with her friends, and I had my own set of secrets that I would never tell her.

What had happened with me and Justus was something I would tell no one but God, and I was sure he already knew. Thinking of my dog got me feeling depressed. It also got me thinking about Felicia again and wondering whether or not she was out on another date.

“
Why the long face?” Jamie turned in the recliner to get a good look at me.

“
Just thinking about how different my life is from one year ago.”

“
Don’t sweat it, man, it will get better. It already has.”

I drained my glass and went into the kitchen and poured the last of the mix into my glass. “I finished off the booze. If you want some more of whatever this is, you will have to make it up,” I said as I came back into the room.

“
It’s all good. I think I’ve had enough.”

“
Who’s the punk now?”

“
Very funny.”

We finished watching the movie, and he placed in another one. This time I was asleep before the credits began running across the screen. I was dreaming a very erotic dream. Felicia was holding me and kissing me like she had not kissed me in years. She felt so good in my arms; I kept pulling her closer. Her leg was wedged between mine as we grinded together. I knew it was a dream, but I didn’t want to wake up until I busted my nut.

My eyes flutter open; it was not Felicia holding me—it was Jamie. I was drunk, but I wasn’t that damn drunk. I pushed Jamie off of me and onto the floor. I looked down at my dick and it was hard, so was Jamie’s. I didn’t know what to say because up until I realized who I was with, I was enjoying it. How could I have been so stupid? It instantly became obvious his plan was to get me drunk and seduce me. I walked right into the trap. What did that say about me? Was this something I really wanted to experience? I pushed down on my dick to get some relief but that didn’t help. I shook my head to clear it, but it only made me dizzy. I stood up.
“Look, man, I’ve got to go.” I didn’t want to talk about what had almost happened. I didn’t want to hear his excuses. I stumbled as I tried to find my keys.

“
Randy, you’re drunk. I’m sorry. I was out of line, but please don’t try to go out there and get behind the wheel of your car. You might kill yourself or someone else. I promise I will keep my hands to myself. You can sleep in the guest room.”

I sat back down. Not ’cause I had changed my mind but because I felt that if I didn’t, I would fall down. “It doesn’t matter if I’m drunk or not. What you did was foul. Why me, man? Do you think I’m gay?” I really wanted to know the answer to these questions, especially since I had enjoyed his embrace.

He said, “I’m not gay, and I don’t think you are. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m not attracted to you. I allowed the booze to talk me into doing something that I’ve wanted to do the first day I met you. I didn’t mean no disrespect.”

“
That’s bullshit and you know it. Don’t blame this shit on the booze. Your ass is gay.”

“
I’m not. I promise you. I’ve never been with a man in my entire life. I love women, but there is something about you that touches my soul. Something that just makes me want to wrap my arms around you and protect you.”

“
That sounds gay to me.” I couldn’t look at him.

“
Look, I don’t understand this shit anymore than you do, but I do know that you were enjoying me.”

“
I was asleep dammit! I thought I was having an erotic dream with my wife kissing me.”

“
That may be. But the fact remains you enjoyed it.”

I felt both disgusted and intrigued at the same time. Would this be any worse than what I had taught my own dog to do? Jamie would not talk about it, ’cause he has as much to loose as I do if word of this had gotten out. I put my head in my hands plagued by doubt and indecision. I needed another drink. My head was pounding. “I need another drink, man. Did we drink it all up?” I knew that we had because I had poured the last glass.

“
I can make some more.”

I glanced at my watch and was amazed that it was nearing eleven o’clock at night. I felt like I had been there all night instead of several hours.

“
Don’t bother with all that ice and shit, just put the booze in the glass.” I wanted to be mad, but my hard dick told me otherwise.

CHAPTER 29