DUBIOUS (38 page)

Now I’m not one who gives a rat’s ass about other people and the money they make, but this really pissed me off. All the time this heifer had been sweating me and she was making more money than me. It just didn’t make sense. “But how? We vote on salaries. I never even saw her name listed.”

“
Precisely. It appears as if Anita has something on all the partners except you. She’s been blackmailing them.”

“
Blackmail? With what?” I was practically in Sherman’s lap.

“
You know that apartment building across the street from your office?”

“
Yeah, it blocks her view of the skyline.”

“
The skyline ain’t what she’s looking at. Anita and her friend Desiree have been watching the activity in those apartments. They have detailed records of the comings and goings of all the partners. They were dumb enough to put the apartments on the firm’s accounts, and Anita got a hold of it. She’s got the place wired and has tapes of each of them with someone other than their wives.”

“
I knew the heifer was sneaky, but damn. I would’ve never imagined her going so low.”

“
If I were a betting man, I would venture to guess that her uncle supplied her with the information about the apartment building to keep them in line.”

“
Wow, isn’t that some shit. But this doesn’t explain why she has it out for me.”

“
You’re the only one she doesn’t have anything on. You could very well upset the balance of the entire firm. Therefore, you are a threat.”

The weight of his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

“
But what about her clients? I’ve seen her practicing law. If she doesn’t have a degree, the firm could be liable for a serious lawsuit?”

“
Her uncle does the work, and she presents it as her own. The other partners won’t say anything ’cause they aren’t ready to give up half to their spouses if their deception is discovered.”

“
Oh my God! This is incredible. So where does Desiree fit in all this shit?” I couldn’t wait to give Talisa the scoop.

“
She’s a flunky, but her shit is stinking too. She’s an ex-call girl who’s used to selling herself to the highest bidder. The partners think she is the one holding all the cards, and she doesn’t even know she’s being used. If the shit blows up, who do you think would be more credible in a court of law?”

“
Anita.” I couldn’t believe it.

“
You guessed it.”

“
So how do I fight this heifer? She’s got the entire firm by the balls.”

“
The only way to fight fire is with fire. There is enough information in this file to take her down. Tomorrow we will start fighting back. My guy is available to work with you and Talisa.”

“
Wow! I just can’t get over this shit. I’ve spent my entire career trying to be above the law only to find out I’m swimming in a sea of snakes.”

“
Welcome to the real world. Now come over here and let me taste those sweet lips.” He gestured with his pointer finger for me to come closer.

As much as I wanted get lost between the sheets with Sherman, my mind was focused on revenge. The indecision was clearly etched on my face even though I tried to mask it. Thankfully Sherman could read my expression and allowed me a chance to go through the file.

He handed me the folder. “Here, you’re not going to be happy until you see the details yourself.”

“
Oh thank you, baby. You’re right, I have to see it, touch it, and hold it. That heifer has been plotting against me for years, so I need to catch up with a quickness.”

“
I’ll put on a pot of coffee ’cause it looks like it’s going to be a long night.”

I didn’t hear a single word after he had handed me the file. With my legal pad in hand, I started to dissect the file. One thing was for certain: this bitch had balls made of brass.

CHAPTER 44

I had done some pretty stupid things in my life but moving in with Jamie had to be the dumbest. I had thought my move would allow me the freedom to discover the person I really wanted to be, but that was not the way it was going down. Jamie was controlling my entire life and treating me like his real-life puppet. The bad part about it was that I’d burned my bridges with Kelvin, so going back to his house was out of the question, and I didn’t have the money saved to move anywhere else.

Jamie hated the fact that I had stayed at Kelvin’s house. Even though I had slept on the sofa, Jamie didn’t like Kelvin having “control” of me. I tried to explain to him that Kelvin was just being a friend, but he had contrived in his mind that Kelvin had an ulterior motive which hadn’t shown itself yet.

Every time Jamie called, I would have to hear his sarcastic comments. He accused me of slinging dick to both of them. At first, I thought it was cute, and I secretly used Kelvin as a means to get Jamie to tell me how he felt about me. Jamie acted all hard on the outside, but deep down inside he was a very affectionate person who was looking for love. I wanted to be that man for him, but his constant bitching was getting on my last nerve.

“
If there isn’t anything going on between the two of you, why don’t you come stay with me?” He had said to me.

“
Jamie, stop playing. You know you like your freedom.” My heart skipped a beat waiting for him to dispute what I’d said.

“
Yo, I ain’t saying we gonna kick it like that, but I’d feel better if you were out from under dude. I mean, he’s all up in your Kool-Aid trying to know the flavor and shit.”

“
Oh, so you just want me over there to make sure he ain’t drinkin’ none of my juice?”

“
Don’t make it no more than what it is. You can sleep in the guest room until you get on your feet again.”

“
What do I tell Kelvin?” I said.

“
I don’t give a flying fuck what you tell that motherfucker.”

If I was thinking, I would have stayed my black ass at Kelvin’s. I followed my dick and packed my shit.

* * *

Jamie was not home when I came in from work. I waited over an hour before he rolled up. Things wouldn’t have been so bad if he was alone, but he had some other dude with him. From the looks of it, they had been getting their drink on. The bitch in me was fighting to get out, but I refused to let him see how this affected me. I swallowed my pride like I’d done every other time he’d brought company home.

Jamie said, “Yo, Randy, this is Tim.”

Not trusting myself to speak, I just stood there looking at them.

Jamie threw up the peace sign as he went in the kitchen, his friend trailing close behind him. I went to my room and shut the door. I vowed to have a long talk with Jamie in the morning. I don’t know why he kept dogging me out. Couldn’t he tell I had feelings for him?

My day would have ended perfect if Jamie wasn’t in the other room entertaining someone other than me. I felt stupid just being there. If I knew someone one I could have called, I would’ve been entertaining, too. I’d yet to build up a black book, and I wasn’t the type to pick up strays off the street.

I turned on the television to block out the laughter coming from the living room. My head told me to take my ass to sleep, but it was way too early to turn in. And I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. I had planned to take Jamie out to celebrate but that wasn’t about to happen now. My stomach growled in protest. As much as I hated to do it, I had to go back through the living room to go get something to eat.

At first I could not hear anything as I tip toed toward the living room. I wasn’t trying to sneak up on them. I was trying to sneak past them. The music was louder the closer I got, but there were no signs of Jamie and his friend. I breathed a sign of relief as I picked up the key from the table. I made it to the hallway and stumbled over something on the floor. I bent down and picked up a pair of jeans. They weren’t the jeans that Jamie had on earlier they belonged to Tim. My hopes that their relationship was strictly a friendship were dashed. My appetite flew out the window as I turned back toward my bedroom.

“
This is some fucked up shit.” I gently closed the door as a single tear rolled down my cheek.

* * *

A constant thumping against the bedroom wall disrupted my sleep. For a few minutes I lay there trying to figure out the source of the noise. My fears were confirmed the minute I heard a low, throttle moan followed by a gusty scream. As I grabbed my pillow to place over my head, the thumping got harder. It was hutting so hard, it seemed to be pushing my bed away from the wall. It could have been my imagination, but I doubted it.

Either Jamie was killing Tim or he was boring Tim a new asshole and Tim was loving every minute of it. I couldn’t decide what made me madder, the fact that they had awakened me from a sound sleep or that Jamie was giving it to somebody other than me.

“
Harder, fuck me harder,” she yelled into the night.

A female? I couldn’t believe this shit. Jamie was taking things too far. When I went to sleep, he was with Tim. Now some bitch was in his bed begging for mercy.

“
Please … fuck me harder,” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

“
Bitch please! If he strokes it any harder, y’all will be up in the room with me,” I mumbled. I turned on the television hoping to drown out the sounds, which were starting to arouse me. With each beat against the wall, I pretended it was me getting my back blown out. Part of me wanted to bum-rush the door to Jamie’s room and yank that bitch out of bed and put her ass out, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to do that. I wasn’t going to give Jamie the satisfaction of knowing just how badly his wanton behavior bothered me. “He’s just fucking with me.” I said to the TV set. “He wants me to come and join them, but I’m not trying to get down like that.”

I sat up in bed and pushed my pillows against the wall, folding my arms across my chest. The images on the television were no match for the ones playing in my head. Whoever coined the phrase “fact is better than fiction” wasn’t lying. The fact of the matter was that someone was getting the fucking of their life, and the fictional part was that it wasn’t me.

“
Damn, baby … I’m … coming,” Jamie called out into the night.

My dick jumped. I fought the urge to stroke it just so I could cum with him. I wanted to be the one to wiped the sweat off his brow and hold him in the warm aftermath of loving as we drifted off to sleep. This shit just didn’t make any sense to me. Jamie had a different woman over practically every night since I had agreed to come stay with him. It was like he was trying to prove something, and I didn’t understand what it was.

“
Hell, if the pussy was all that, he should have been done about ten minutes ago.” I snatched a pillow and began pounding it. I couldn’t decide if I was priming it for my head or using it to express the anger coursing through my veins.

CHAPTER 45

I placed my ear against the wall. I was trying to find out what was going on. Was she sucking his dick and trying to get him hard again or was the heifer sedated and out for the count? Unfortunately, I couldn’t detect a sound. “Shit!” The silence should have made me happy; but, unfortunately, it didn’t. At least when they were fucking, I knew what they were doing. Now that it was all quiet and shit, my mind was working overtime.

Pulling my ear from the wall, I decided to go to the kitchen to get something to drink. I had some tough decisions to make because this living arrangement wasn’t working for me. When Jamie had first mentioned letting me stay with him, I had envisioned a totally different scenario. I thought it was the perfect solution to my problems. One, it got me off my best friend’s couch, which was truly uncomfortable; and two, it would allow me to spend more time with the man that had captivated my mind and body. I needed to get out of my room before I busted a blood vessel.

My bare feet was cold against his hardwood floors, but I didn’t feel like going back to get my slippers. I snatched open the refrigerator, looking for something to drink. At first I grabbed a Coke, but that wasn’t strong enough. Shutting the door, I went into the living room to fix myself a stiff drink. I felt a serious binge coming on. With drink in hand, I slumped down onto the sofa trying to decide what I was going to do.

I really didn’t have a lot of options. I didn’t have much money and wouldn’t receive my next check for another two weeks. I really didn’t want to go back to Kelvin’s, but the thought of staying with Jamie another night was not sitting well with me, either. I emptied my glass in one swallow and got up to fix myself another. This time I brought the bottle back to the sofa with me. I felt like I had one friend left in the world and Jack Daniels was his name.

Talking to Jamie was not an option. I was so confused by my emotions there was no way I could explain them to him without sounding like a queer. The conversation that I thought I was having in my head was actually coming out my mouth: “Jamie, look, man, we’ve got to talk about what we’re doing here. I mean, what’s up?” I laughed at myself. I sounded just like a lame duck, and I could just see him laughing at me.

The sound of the front door closing broke me out of my trance-like state.

Gulping down the remainder of my drink, I poured another one. “Now I can take my ass to sleep.” I went back into the kitchen to put my glass in the sink and Jamie walked in. I was startled and unprepared to look at him. I felt like I was wearing all of my emotions on my face.