Earning Yancy (29 page)

I held it together as I drove home and said good-bye to Kathy. I didn’t break down when Charles called to say he would be late coming over because he had some work to finish. I went through the motions, feeding the baby, playing with her, giving her a bath and her breathing treatment. As I did what needed to be done, I was in a fog.

I was sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, with the television off, when Charles came in. Last week, I’d given him my spare key. He was spending almost every night with me anyway, so I bit the bullet. We hadn’t discussed what we imagined for our future together and I decided to take it one day at a time until we had that conversation.

Charles walked into the living room, stripping off his coat and tie.

“Hey, babe. How was your day?” he asked.

I took one look at him and burst into tears.

“Yancy? What’s wrong?” I felt his hands on my shoulders as he sat next to me and I dove into his arms, pressing my head into his chest. “Yancy?”

I just sobbed harder. He pulled me closer, his hands drifting over my hair and back in an effort to soothe me. As the tears slowed, I hiccupped and rested my cheek on his shoulder.

As the storm subsided, Charles cupped my face and turned me so that we were looking into each other’s eyes. “Tell me what happened, baby.” His voice was soft and gentle. My eyes grew wet again, but I blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling.

“Cooper called me at work.” Charles’ face hardened and his eyes grew bright with anger. He knew my ex had been trying to get in touch with me all week. “I was right. He only wanted to reconcile because the Office of the Attorney General is threatening to put him in jail if he doesn’t pay the back child support.” I laughed bitterly. “When he realized reconciliation wasn’t on the table, he decided to sue for custody of Lena then offer to drop the suit if I forgave the amount he owed me.”

Charles ran his fingers through the hair at my temple. Somehow he knew that touching me like that would calm me down. “So, what did you say?”

I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I told him I would forgive the back child support if he would terminate his parental rights.” I swallowed hard. “He doesn’t have the money to pay it and I gave him an ultimatum no parent should ever face. I’m going to take away his child.”

“Before he came back, had he asked, even once, to see Carolena?”

I shook my head. “He only asked to see her after he filed for custody.”

Charles gathered me into his arms, holding me close. “Then
he’s
the one who cut himself off. You are only doing what you think is best to protect your daughter.” He paused and I could tell he was weighing his words. “I want you to take a moment and really think about your ex. If you hadn’t asked him to terminate his rights, would he come after you like this again if he fell behind on his support payments?”

I didn’t have to ponder the question for too long. Coop would. He was manipulative and selfish. He would do whatever it took to get what he wanted. “Yes, he would.”

“Then you have to protect yourself and Carolena, Yancy. Sometimes that means making hard choices.”

I looked up at him. “But what if he changes his mind? Or, if in ten years, Carolena wants to see him and I have to explain to her that he abandoned us?”

Charles kissed my forehead and used his thumbs to wipe away the new tears that trickled down my cheek. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

That got my attention. “We?”

He smiled slightly at my confusion. “Yes,
we
.”

I touched his jaw with the tips of my fingers. “Will there be a an us in ten years?” I asked. I was afraid of that question, but hope still bloomed within my chest like a flower, fragile yet beautiful.

Charles squeezed my shoulders. “What do you think we’re doing here? I spend almost every night with you and Lena. You gave me a key to your house.
I love you
. I want there to be an us in twenty-five or even thirty years.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” I asked. “I wondered how you were feeling, what you were thinking, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured. You tell me so many things about yourself, but not that.”

“Come here,” Charles said, sinking back into the sofa and pulling me against him. “I want to tell you a story.”

Confused, I let him pull me across his lap and I settled my head on his shoulder.

“When I started working at our office, I met this beautiful, intelligent woman. She was kind and considerate but not a pushover. I was so drawn to her. Then, I heard she had a baby and assumed she had a husband. So, I did what every self-respecting, immature guy does when he likes a girl; I was a jerk.” I smiled at his self-deprecating words. “Then, one day, the woman I liked had enough and she told me she was sick of my shit. As pretty as she was all other times, she was gorgeous when she was angry. She also told me she was single, though inadvertently, and I knew I would do anything for a chance to be with her.” I burrowed closer to his body as he spoke, his words touching something deep within me. “The first time we went out to lunch, I fell a little in love with her. She was feisty, but sweet. Smart, but not condescending. And she seemed completely fine with my crazy family interrupting our date. She even laughed. Every time I saw her after that, I fell deeper and deeper in love with her and I knew, knew down to my bones, that I would do whatever it took to earn her love.”

My head came up then and I looked at Charles in surprise. “You fell in love with me on our first date?”

He laughed. “Actually, I think it was when you smacked me in the chest with your nameplate and called me an asshole.” He smiled when I giggled. He lifted a hand to my face, his thumb and forefinger holding my chin. “The point is, Yancy, you deserve everything you want for yourself and your daughter. You didn’t get it with your ex. He took you for granted. I could see it and I couldn’t help thinking he was a stupid shit, because only little boys throw away someone like you. A man knows that a woman like you has to be earned. Your love, your trust, are worth any amount of work, any amount of effort. Actually, I’m glad your ex was too stupid to understand what he had because it left the field wide open for me.”

When Charles didn’t continue, I asked, “Why?”

He kissed my lips before he answered. “Because I get to keep you. His loss is my gain.”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, cuddling with him. “So what now?”

His arms tightened around me. “We do exactly what we have been. We take things one day at a time and we build something wonderful, together. Does that sound good?”

I put my lips to his throat, then whispered, “That sounds perfect.”

Ten Months Later

I
picked up
the phone and called Charles.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

I smiled at his greeting. “Hey, babe. How’s it going?”

He chuckled. “Good. It’s going good.”

“Great. Carolena and I are finally done shopping and heading home.”

“Perfect. Dinner will be done in thirty minutes, so you’ll be here just in time.”

That morning, Charles woke me up and made love to me in the first light of dawn. After, as we lay cuddled in bed before Carolena woke up, I asked, “What was that for?”

Charles stroked my bare back and hip in lazy sweeps. “I just wanted to be inside you while the sun came up, to start the day by showing you how much I love you.”

I decided then and there he could wake me up at dawn any time he wanted, even if we had gone to bed just an hour before.

Finally, I rolled out of bed to shower before the baby woke up. It was nice being able to take my time in the bath and relax without little hands banging on the shower door or, worse, in the shower with me and trying to yank all my products off the shelves.

As we ate breakfast together, Charles asked, “Can you and Carolena find something to do this afternoon that will take you out of the house?”

Confused, I asked, “Why?”

He grinned mischievously. “It’s a surprise. Just be back in time for dinner.”

Suspicious, curious, but still amused, I nodded. “Fine. Lena is outgrowing her clothes anyway, so I should probably go shopping. Will that work?”

Carolena clapped her hands at the mention of shopping. Unlike most toddlers, she loved to shop. “Yay!” she exclaimed.

Charles and I both laughed. The last ten months had been both wonderful and terrible. True to his word, Coop had his lawyer draw up the necessary paperwork to terminate his rights as Carolena’s father. His attorney, Delinda, even the judge, had asked him repeatedly if he was sure this was what he wanted to do. They all warned him that it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to have his rights restored. He signed the documents with little hesitation anyway. That day was one of the worst of my life.

The week leading up to filing the papers, I constantly questioned myself, wondering if I was really doing what was best for Carolena. I barely slept, couldn’t eat, and seemed to snap at the least little thing. I was grateful to Charles for his patience, because I was sure that I tried it. However, not once did he blow up or get angry with me and I appreciated that more than I could ever tell him.

Once Cooper’s rights were terminated, things slowly settled into a routine. After dating for only three months, Charles was practically living at my house. Over time, we became a family. Now, Charles and I had been together for a year and it had been one of the best years of my life.

Under his attention and affection, Carolena blossomed. I hadn’t realized how much she missed because her father was gone. I honestly thought she wouldn’t notice the difference until she was older. I was wrong.

I also found another job that allowed me to work from home most of the year. Once or twice a month, I would have to go into the office for meetings, but I spent most of my days close to my daughter. Kathy still came over to watch her while I worked, but I got to eat lunch with Carolena almost every day and I loved it. I missed seeing my girlfriends, but we tried to get together for brunch a couple of Sundays a month. They were all caught up in their own lives and relationships, but we managed.

Carolena seemed to love Charles as much as I did. I know my family loved him. My mom and dad welcomed him to all the family events. My sisters were distant at first, worried that Charles was taking advantage of me in a vulnerable time. It took a few months, but they came around. Once they stopped being so stubborn, they finally saw in him what I did, a genuinely good man.

I loved his family too. His mom, sister, and aunt were as nutty as ever but sweet and funny. I laughed constantly when I was around them. It was wonderful to be accepted so quickly by his family. Coop’s parents were aloof even after we were married. While I still called them and offered to let them see Carolena, they rarely took me up on it. They preferred to remain distant from me and their granddaughter.

I was so happy. The only thing that could have made life better was if Charles and I were married and he adopted Carolena. It was only paper, I knew that and I could live without it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want it in my heart of hearts. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted it all.

I loaded Carolena into the car at the mall after stowing our bags and her stroller in the trunk. I wondered what surprise Charles had for us at home. He must have been watching for us, because he came out of the house as soon as I pulled into the driveway. He grabbed the bags out of the trunk while I got the baby.

Lena and I laughed as he pretended to struggle under the weight of the bags. He winked at me. When we walked through the front door, I was bombarded by delectable aromas. It smelled as though someone was cooking a feast. Charles hauled the shopping bags upstairs as I took off our coats.

Over his shoulder, he called, “Don’t move from that spot until I get back.” Curious, I did as he said. He came back down the stairs quickly, a grin on his face. With a flourish, he gestured to the formal dining room that I never used. I stepped inside and gasped.

There were flowers on the table and the sideboard and small candles flickered everywhere. Two places were set with my great-grandmother’s wedding china and a third with Carolena’s toddler dishes and utensils. That china was reserved for only the most special occasions and Charles knew that.

“This is beautiful, Charles.”

Carolena agreed. “It’s pwetty.”

He smiled and pulled out a chair that held Carolena’s booster seat. Once we got her settled, he did the same for me. “Stay right here. I’m going to serve you.”

Carolena and I whispered and giggled together as he disappeared into the kitchen. He returned with two serving bowls, one full of pasta and a rich sauce, the other with a salad.

“Don’t start yet,” he said, pointing a finger at both of us and disappearing back into the kitchen.

He came back with a bowl full of garlic bread, a plate of stuffed mushrooms, and an open bottle of wine tucked in the crook of his arm. Once everything was on the table, he poured a glass of wine for both of us. There was already a sippy cup full of milk in front of Carolena’s plate.