“We will go on safari,” he had also said that morning, and although Alice had shaken her head at the suggestion which Sid promptly ignored, she found herself eagerly looking forward to it. She would be taking on one strange animal for the day, why not get close to a few others? So into the countryside they went to spot wildlife. When presented with the options, Alice decided on an elephant safari—why not observe from atop an exotic beast?
Alice felt more like an explorer, and her camera couldn’t take enough photos.
Sid was such a gentle, compassionate, knowledgeable guide, she was no longer afraid to do anything. She had the eagerness and excitement of a child—the young girl she’d once been.
Soon, daylight started to fade, and they decided to end the day with a canoe trip.
As they glided across the water, waiting for the sunset, Alice caught Sid looking at her hair.
He seemed embarrassed at being caught.
“Your hair has a very interesting color in this light,” he said. “A little red. It is very pretty.”
Alice thanked him.
After a few moments she asked:
“Sid, I hope you don’t find this inappropriate, but why did you not remarry?”
He took a few seconds before answering.
“My second wife was not very happy to have been paired with me. I liked the pairing, but I did not want her to be unhappy. So I helped her escape to your country.
“And then there was another girl whose parents thought I would be a good husband for her. Everyone ignored that she was horrified by their decision—I think she had already fallen in love with a young boy her age and did not want to marry me at all. She was very, very young—sixteen—and I was already over forty at the time. She didn’t say anything to me, but everyone knew she was unhappy. Still, they thought she would eventually get over it and accept her fate. So they went on with the wedding preparations. The day before the wedding, they found her dead; she had poisoned herself with
othalanga maram.
”
Alice’s mind tripped over the words.
“What is that?” she asked.
“I will show you. Alice, you must never eat fruit from this tree, even though they look like mangoes. It is a very dangerous tree, responsible for many deaths here. The fruit is poisonous, but the tree is useful; we use it to make hedges.”
He took a deep breath and looked away, toward the falling sun.
“I have not lived in the west, but I suppose I have a western approach to marriage. I want to choose someone, and I want them to choose me. No pressure from the parents, no pressure from me, no pressure from anyone. I would like someone who can be my equal, who I can talk to about things and who will understand.” He shrugged. “Maybe I want too much.”
Sid grinned and Alice grinned with him. Then she felt her own smile fall away as she thought about George.
“I don’t think settling is the best thing either.”
Sid boldly examined her face this time.
“You have very beautiful eyes, Alice—very beautiful. But very sad. I hope you are not sad often; a woman like you should never be sad—you have a very vibrant spirit. Your husband must be very happy with you.”
His eyes were now on her left hand. Her right hand rose to cover her wedding band.
Didn’t he know the pink in her cheeks now wasn’t usually there, nor the spark in her eyes? That all the smiling, the laughing, the enjoying of sights, sounds and smells of life was here only? Didn’t he see that the beautiful woman he was seeing was because of his country, his presentation of it? She had thought this Alice had died a long time ago, but she’d been resurrected temporarily.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at him again.
Malayalam is the world’s only palindromic language,
Alice wrote in her journal later that night before she went to bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Saturday, July 1st 2006
Bloomington, Illinois
Drew saw a flash of a slender figure in an electric blue, figure-hugging ensemble, a flash of honey-blond hair. He rubbed his eyes, checked his drink. Yes, he was drinking a coke, just as he thought. Could it really be her? Or was he seeing things? Losing it?
When she came into view, no longer a flash but a real, slender, five foot nine, beautifully smiling person, he felt everything in him melt into a puddle, and for a few moments, he couldn’t move his legs. Maybe he was really going crazy—why would she come?
He didn’t want to get his hopes up too high since it would be that much more of a distance to fall, but he looked again—really looked, studying her from head to toe. It was definitely her—her hair, her eyes, her smile. Lacey was talking to his mom, probably expressing her condolences in her unique way no doubt, telling his mother that now she didn’t have to wait on her husband’s lazy ass, had more time to spend on herself. Hell, Lacey was probably congratulating her.
Your husband’s dead? You’re so lucky! If mine were this divorce would be so much easier to finalize. I mean, not that I don’t like your son or anything.
Drew shook his head briefly, successfully depressing himself with his own thoughts.
He could not keep his eyes averted for long however, for his eyes were thirsty for the sight of her; he wanted to drink more of her in. He had not seen her in so long, he wanted to savor every second she was within his sight—her sexy, inappropriate skintight blue dress, her perfectly manicured, feminine, slender fingers, her beautiful and probably sweet-smelling hair—who knew when he’d get to see her again?
He saw her looking around and was afraid to assume it was him she was looking for but it was; she found him easily, locking her big, brown Bambi eyes with his.
She headed over.
Drew tried to think of the first thing he wanted to say to her, tried to puff himself up with indignation for his son’s sake but when she entered his space, everything flew out of his head along with the air out of his chest.
He could not help smiling back at her when she smiled at him, couldn’t stop himself from hugging her back when she wrapped herself around him.
“Drew! How nice to see you!”
He inhaled the scent of her hair—yup, sweet-smelling as usual. He almost couldn’t stop himself from keeping her locked in his arms.
He let her go reluctantly and tried not to look into her eyes.
“Lacey, what a surprise! What brings you here?”
He looked around the room but his eyes kept coming back to her.
“Well, it’s my former father-in-law’s funeral silly! I knew the guy right? And I know you guys right? You, your sister, your mom; you’re like family—how could I not come?”
Drew scoffed.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be able to tear yourself away from your own busy life; I know how important fulfilling your needs and your needs alone, is to you.”
She looked at him strangely.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
But damn her, she did not look offended or insulted. She was almost dismissive in the way she asked it, like she was just a bit curious and didn’t really care for the answer. He was finally infuriated, a surge of anger coursing through him, though it traveled simultaneously with adoration. He couldn’t ignore that he felt like he loved her more than ever, but he could see Jack’s dark eyes looking at him sorrowfully in his mind’s eye.
“Damn you, Lacey—do you know what our son’s been going through?”
Lacey’s face lit up. She looked around and said:
“My Jack! Where is he? Where is my little pumpkin?”
“He’s barely yours,” Drew muttered, but before he could continue, she lightly slapped him on the chest, grinning.
“Don’t be silly,” she said, still looking around the room. “Well, where is he?”
While Drew had been impressed she’d thought about them and came to support them for his father’s funeral, he was outraged that her primary reason had not been to see her son, that Jack seemed to be an afterthought. But at the same time, he knew this would make Jack’s day, even though it could possibly make things worse in the long run—getting Jack’s hopes up even more. She certainly did not appear to have plans to stay around, but he could never deny his son the pleasure of seeing his mother.
Lacey turned to walk away to continue looking for Jack, and Drew fought the urge to go after her and stay in her presence for just a little bit longer.
He stood, fighting his emotions and urges, waiting for the indication that she had found Jack.
He wasn’t long in waiting.
“Mommy!”
Although Drew did not witness the reunion, he knew the moment Jack laid eyes on his mother. Drew’s heart tightened in joy and pain at the sound of Jack’s elated voice.
He was happy for his son, but still imagining the disappointment that would inevitably come later.
Damn you, Lacey
, he thought, pitying himself as well, another casualty in her wake.
***
“Mommy, mommy, mommy...”
Elaine initially ignored the first few tugs on her dress as she finished her sentence but Jade was persistent, her repetition eventually piercing Elaine’s consciousness. It was times like these that she was glad she had aborted her first child, although at other times, she wondered what she had lost—if it was the son David had always wanted.
“What is it, honey?” she asked irritably, sending an apologetic glance at the guest she’d been talking to.
Jade stopped tugging.
“Grandma’s crying,” she said simply.
Elaine paused, thinking about what to say next.
“Well, what did you want me to do about it sweetheart? Grandma needs privacy right now. She’s sad about grandpa dying and she doesn’t want anyone to bother her at the moment.”
Jade shook her head, disagreeing, her blue eyes resolute.
“That’s not true. She’s crying because of you. She said so.”
Elaine was thrown off. “She said that?”
Jade nodded. “She said she misses you so you should go and talk to her.”
Elaine felt a small smile form on her face at Jade’s simplification of a problem and solution. Then she looked around, her eyes trying to locate her mother. She didn’t have plans to do as Jade suggested, but she found her brain processing the information as if coming up with a plan regarding what to do about it, surprising herself.
***
Alice walked into the room where it appeared Fred was reading a book in Braille.
“Hello, Fred,” she said softly so as not to alarm him.
He stopped reading and looked ahead, not turning toward her voice.
“It’s Alice.”
Fred stopped looking suspicious and his face relaxed. He turned toward her voice at last and smiled.
“Alice! To what do I owe the honor? Is George with you?”
Alice was glad he could not see her discomfort.
“In a way, yes. But not right now; I came alone.”
Fred nodded his head but she could see he was running over potential reasons in his mind; after all, Alice had never shown up alone to see him.
“I came to see how you were doing...and to give you some news.”
She saw Fred stiffen again.
“This news might come as a surprise to you, as it did to me, but I felt it was necessary that you know it.”
Alice took a breath and tried to prepare herself for the questions he might ask.
“Fred, you have another grandson.”
Fred’s big, bushy, caterpillar-like white eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth worked a little before he answered. “Don’t you mean great-grandson? Did…”—he paused, trying to remember a name she presumed—”…Andrew or…Elaine have another child? Is it a boy or a girl? What’s the name? If it’s a boy I hope they named him after me!”
His eyes twinkled and his mouth worked into a grin, showing dinghy, worn teeth.
Alice shook her head then remembered he could not see her.
“No, Fred. It’s George—George had another child. A son. It happened many, many years ago. George’s son is about thirty-two now, and he might even have children of his own so you might have more grandchildren. And…well, I don’t know if it was deliberate, but yes, his name is Frederick. Like you.”
Fred remained silent, his eyebrows furrowing again.
“George had another son? And not with you? Well I’ll be.”
Alice sighed. That was one way to put it.
She saw that his face took on a pensive expression.
“Well, that’s all I came to say today. I just needed to say it in person. You might want to meet him; he’s a nice boy.”
Alice went over to Fred and gave him an awkward hug.
“I’ll see you later.”
She knew he would understand there was nothing left to say between them at the moment.
“Tell George to come and see me, you hear?” he said, accepting her departure. “And that other boy—yes, I’d like to meet him.”
Alice nodded, more to herself.
“Okay, Fred.”
She turned away from his still-pensive face.
***
When Alice returned home she saw that the place was pretty much deserted, her family the only ones remaining—trying to clear the place up a little bit.
When Drew asked her where she’d gone, she simply replied: “For a drive.”
When Elaine surprised her by asking this as well, she answered the same.
She figured it was an acceptable answer, and no one probed beyond it.
However, she did catch Miriam looking at her a few times, an expression she could not quite decipher and chalked up to curiosity—but Miriam said nothing.
Everyone went about putting away the leftovers and gathering wares that were left outside of the kitchen.
When everything was done—the children put to bed, the other adults starting to head to their respective bedrooms—Alice looked over at the urn on the mantel, satisfied.
It was a simple, marble, walnut-colored urn which held the last of George’s physical body. She had not offered ashes to the children once she brought them home, and they had not reminded her either. They seemed to be happy with just photos of George.
In any case, she wouldn’t let them have any of the ashes—not just yet. For once, she had him all to herself.
Alice went upstairs to her own bedroom, retiring for the night.