Embrace (24 page)

I'm sorry too.

              I stare at his words for what feels like forever. With each minute that passes, my chest feels heavier, my mind foggier. How am I ever going to find the strength to live each day knowing that I can't see his face? That I can't feel the smoothness of his skin or the ripple of his muscles under my fingertips? That I can't hear the sweetness of his voice or the way it hitches when he says my name? How will I ever survive without any of this?

             
And just when I feel like my life could not get any lower, something completely unexpected happens. I get another message, only this one is not from Zayne but from my agent.

We got an offer.

              It's all she needs to say before I am dialing her number, my hands shaking as the phone rings and then finally her voice fills the line.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

             
“Well what did she say? Tell us everything.” Carver chimes the moment I walk in the door from my meeting with Hannah.

             
My huge smile must say it all.

             
“I can't believe you did it. You actually did it.” Ian says, staring at me from the couch with a look of absolute pride etched across his face.

             
“I did it! You are looking at a soon to be, published author.” I squeal, wrapping my arms around Carver's neck when he swoops down and picks me up, swirling me in a circle.

             
I spend the next thirty minutes going over every detail with the boys. How Hannah found a publisher within days of pitching my manuscript, how the terms were super agreeable, and how they want to see my next project as soon as possible.

             
It's so hard to believe that we started negotiations just two days ago and now, here I am, making my own dreams come true. This must be what Em felt like when she landed her role in
Wicked
. It's one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.

             
A mixture of pride and accomplishment.

             
Yet, even though I am thrilled to know that my book has sold, a piece of me can't fully enjoy it because Zayne is not here to share it with. None of this would have been possible without him and even though things are hard between us right now, I still feel like I owe him something.

             
Picking up my phone, I type out a quick thank you text and hit send, silently praying that he doesn't respond. Turning my attention back to Carver, who is at the moment in deep conversation with Ian about politics, I try to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach as I wait to see if he will text me back.

             
I laugh when appropriate, which given their conversation is often. Imagine how entertaining it is to watch a free spirited artist and a business major jock discuss the pros and cons of our constitutional rights.

             
I finally excuse myself an hour later, when the conversation turns to other topics and I've heard all I can hear about the hot women Carver works with and Ian describing girls he's hooked up with recently. Neither of which do I want to hear about.

             
Crawling into bed on top of the blankets, I flop back onto my back and check my phone again for any response from Zayne. Nothing. Apparently he read me loud and clear the other day. And while I know it's what I asked for, I am realizing more and more each day, that it's not what I want.

             
Knowing I need to distract myself before I cave during a moment of weakness and call Zayne, I quickly key in Emma's number and pray she picks up the phone. After three rings, her voice comes across the line.

             
“It sold?” She asks, her voice anxious and yet strangely giddy. Of course she's been waiting for this call, being the first person I called when Hannah let me know that we were in negotiations.

             
“It sold.” I confirm, some of my former happiness returning at being able to tell my best friend the good news.

             
“Oh my god Gracie! I'm so proud of you!” She practically sings into the phone.

             
“Thank you. It's amazing. I still feel like I am going to wake up and realize that this is all just some crazy dream.” I say, draping my forearm across my forehead to stop the overhead light from shining into my eyes.

             
“I can assure you that it's not a dream. If I was there, I would totally pinch you.” She laughs, reminding me how much I miss hearing her laughter, her voice, seeing her face.

             
“I wish you were here.” I whine. “I mean, I'm glad you're where you are and there is no place else you should be. I just miss you is all. Now I am forced to celebrate with all men. Boo.” I huff.

             
“Oh their not so bad. There's one particularly fine one that I wouldn't mind celebrating with.” She giggles into the phone and I get the distinct impression that she's not alone on the other side of the call.

             
“Um gross.” I say, knowing full well she's talking about Alec. “What are you doing anyway?” I tack on casually.

             
“Oh nothing exciting. Just arrived in our next city. You know. Same old same old.” She says, but there's something in her voice that doesn't sit right.

             
“Emma Davenport, what are you hiding from me?” I blurt, sitting up like a bolt of lightening. I can read my best friend well, and with the exception of her and Alec, she has never been able to keep anything from me.

             
“What? I'm not hiding anything.” She says, covering the phone and speaking to someone that must be near her. Her words are muffled and whispered so I have no clue what she's saying.

             
“Listen Grace, I gotta go. We just got to the hotel so I need to head up and get settled.” She says, faking a yawn.

             
“Oh. Okay.” I agree, not feeling up to pushing the issue with her.

             
“I'll talk to you soon.” She promises, before making a kiss sound into the phone and ending the call.

             
I toss my phone on my nightstand and head back out into the living room, immediately turning towards the kitchen when I realize that Carver and Ian's conversation has now moved onto zombies and eating people's brains. My god, men have the strangest conversations.

             
I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, just as a knock sounds on the door. Looking over at Carver, he shrugs, indicating he isn't expecting anyone.

             
“It's probably Alec.” Ian calls over his shoulder without looking at me. “I called and gave him the news. He said he was going to stop by to congratulate you.” He says just as I am pulling the door open.

             
“Surprise!” Emma squeals when my eyes hit hers. Before I have time to process anything, her arms are around me and we are both jumping up and down like teenagers, squealing and crying about how much we missed each other.

             
“My god, it's only been a few weeks girls.” Carver groans from the living room.

             
“Oh shut up and get your ass over here.” She demands, not having to say anymore before being pulled away from me and wrapped in Carver's arms.

             
“It's good to see you Em.” He says before Ian steps up and steals her away.

             
“Oh the one that got away.” He fakes heartbreak and grips his chest once he releases his hold on her.

             
We all laugh in unison at the comedic humor that only Ian can provide. It takes me a moment to realize that Alec is here too. He must have been with Emma and I was too distracted to notice him.

             
“You.” I say, glaring at him.

             
“Me.” He said. “What would a celebration be without your best friend?” He asks, just now able to get far enough into the apartment to close the door.

             
“We're celebrating?” I ask, still in shock that Emma is even here.

             
“Are you kidding me?” She turns her attention on me. “Grace Morgan, you just became a published author. Like hell we aren't celebrating. I've already got it planned.” She continues, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and retrieving what looks to be some type of clothing from Alec.

             
Without a word to the boys, she turns and guides me down the hall to my bedroom. As soon as the door closes behind us, she wraps me in another hug.

             
“I have missed you so much.” She chokes, squeezing me so tightly I feel like circulation is being cut off to half of my body.

             
“How are you here right now?” I ask, pulling back to look at her. She looks even better than she did before she left. Her hair is a little longer and her skin has just the right amount of bronze to it, like she has spent a lot of her down time on the beach. The road looks good on her.

             
“Alec.” She says, her smile so wide it literally makes me want to cry tears of happiness for her. “I have two days off until my next show so.... He bought me a plane ticket and here I am.” She holds her arms out as if putting herself on display.

             
“But I am only here until tomorrow night. I have to be on the eight p.m. flight to Phoenix.” She says, pouting her lip out.

             
“Well then I guess we better make the most of it.” I say, glancing at the clock. “It's already seven.” I say, not sure what her plan for the night is.

             
“Not to worry. We have time.” She says, smiling sweetly at me just as she leans over to retrieve the clothing that she threw half haphazardly on my bed when she hugged me.

             
“And the plan is?” I ask.

             
“
Saving Solice
is playing at
Vitos
. Alec has already let Becca and Jake know so expect a big to do.” She warns. “Don't give me that look Grace.” She huffs. “I flew all the way here to celebrate my best friend's amazing accomplishment. The least you can do is let me do it my way.” She smiles sweetly at me.

             
“You're impossible.” I sigh dramatically. “What's this?” I ask, referring the the clothing in her hands.

             
“Our outfits for the night.” She squeals, holding up two matching tube halter dresses, one black, one red.

             
I start to object but then bite my tongue. Knowing Em she probably spent every minute leading up to her flight here trying to find the perfect outfits for us to wear for our night out. This is what you get for being best friend's with a fashion diva like Emma Davenport.

             
“Red or Black?” She asks, holding first the red one higher and then the black. Knowing which one she chose for me, I immediately reach for the red. The excitement on her face tells me that I chose right.

             
As me and Em get ready, I try to focus on the positive things. My book deal, Ian and Emma both being in town, my mended relationship with Alec. While it all means so much to me and I am so happy to have them here, I can't help but feel like a large part of what would make this night monumental is missing.

             
He's missing....... I can't help but wonder if there will ever be a moment where his absence won't make me feel like a part of myself is missing along with him.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

             
We stroll into
Vitos
just before ten. The small bar is packed, as it usually is on nights when
Saving Solice
is playing. I take a quick moment to make sure my dress is covering all the appropriate areas and then turn to Emma to have her fix my black lace choker that sets off my four inch black heels perfectly.

             
“You look amazing.” Emma reassures me, though I'm not sure why I really care. Nodding, I turn and head directly to the bar. A large
Congratulations
banner is displayed across the top blocking off where the wine glasses usually hang. I spot Jake immediately, a wide dimple filled smile covering his face as he makes his way over to us.

             
“I guess Congrats are in order.” He says when he reaches us at the end of the bar. I nod and point to the goddy sign that is on full display. “Becca.” He only smiles wider. “You know how she is.”

             
I laugh knowing exactly what he's talking about but then gasp when he jumps up on the bar. Grabbing his megaphone, he begins making an announcement to the crowd that has only grown in the moments since we arrived.

             
“Hey everybody listen up!” He says, smiling down at me before turning back to the crowd. “For those of you who don't know, this is my girl Grace.” He says, pointing down to me. I'm sure my face is beet red and not knowing what else to do, I hold up my hand and give a little awkward wave.

             
“Grace just found out today that she is officially going to be a published author. So how about we show her some love and buy this damn girl a shot.” He exclaims, laughter filtering from various people in the crowd.

             
“Congrats!” He says, jumping from the bar and down over the side to stand in front of me. With a lopsided grin and one dimple on full display, he wraps me in a warm hug. “I'm so happy for you.” He says into my hair before releasing me.

             
“Where's Becca?” I ask, not missing the mountain of balloons that come filtering out of the office/storage closet behind the bar as soon as my words leave my mouth.

             
“Do you really need to ask?” He laughs. “I think my girlfriend has been eaten by a swarm of balloons.”

             
“Oh shut up and come help me.” She calls somewhere from behind the massive bouquet that has to consist of at least fifty helium filled, multicolored balloons.

             
Jake runs behind the bar and quickly starts sorting through the latex until somewhere in the middle he locates Becca. Laughing, he takes the balloons and releases them all into the air so that the low ceiling is lined with balloons and white curling ribbon. Grabbing the other half, he repeats the process. By the time every balloon has be released to the ceiling, it's hard to see anything but.

             
“Congratulations!” Becca squeals, skipping around the bar to wrap me in a hug. “Grace.” She says, stepping back and trailing her eyes down my body making me suddenly feel very self conscious under her stare.

             
“What?” I say, automatically reaching to cover myself.

             
“You... Wow! Girl you look hot!” She says, doing the whole head spin, finger snap maneuver that is so
not
her style.

             
The whole group busts into laughter and soon after, everyone has said their hellos and the crowd begins to push forward to the stage as
Saving Solice
comes on. Me and Emma join the crowd but the boys fall back to hang with Becca and Jake who are both working the bar tonight.

             
Thad comes on stage with his rock star swagger and staggering good looks. His eyes meet mine within seconds of appearing on stage and he throws me a wave and a boyish smile before strapping his guitar around him.

             
They start the set with one of my favorite songs. “Just Breathe” by Pearl Jam. It's a pretty mellow number and one that has the crowd swaying back and forth as Thad's amazing voice flows around us.

             
The next two hours go by in a blur. Me and Emma dance. Jake and Becca feed me shots like it's my job to drink and not one of them do I pay for, might I add. By the time the last set of the night rolls around, I'm sweaty, overheated, and honestly not near as drunk as I should be after all the shots I have consumed this evening.

             
Looking over, I see Alec lean down and kiss Emma, smiling widely at her as he stares into her eyes. I wish I could say that it grosses me out because it's my brother but that isn't it at all. If nothing else, seeing the way he's looking at her makes me wish I had someone to look at me that way. And makes me miss even more the certain someone who used to look at me that way.

             
Ian calls them out on it and turns the tender moment into a joke. “Get your hands off my girl.” He laughs, shoving Alec's shoulder to the side. Both boys laugh and Emma just rolls her eyes before turning her attention to me.

             
“Come on.” Em says, dragging me back towards the stage, Alec following us this time. “They're getting ready to come back on.” She says, pushing me forward until I am standing just feet in front of the stage.

             
“Um, Em. The whole band is still at the bar.” I say, pointing behind us.

             
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Look, here comes Thad.” She says. I watch him as he steps onto the stage. I watch his eyes flicker to my face and for a moment something flashes across his features but it's gone before I can pin point it.

             
My whole body tenses, afraid that he's going to repeat the embarrassing announcement that Jake made earlier in the night. But I relax when the lights dim down to nothing but a solitary spot that shines directly on Thad as he steps up to the microphone. The rest of the bar is practically drowned in darkness so that the only focus is him.

             
“What's he doing?” I question aloud but Em only shrugs.

             
He clicks on the mic and then his eyes meet mine again for just a brief moment before he flicks them back to the crowd and begins to speak.

             
“First I want to say thank you as always for coming out to support us.” He says, his accent thick and sexy, grabbing a few hoots and hollers from the ladies in the crowd.

             
Holding up his hands, he lowers them again, silencing the crowd. “But that's not what tonight is about. Tonight is about a man and his love for a woman. But to understand, I first have to tell you a story.” He says, smiling widely when the crowd cheers for him to continue.

             
“This is a story about a stupid man and the beautiful, sweet girl he let slip through his fingers.” He says, pacing the stage as the spot light follows his every move.

             
“This man, well, he didn't know what a good thing he had until he was forced to live without it. As is most things in this life.” He pauses. “Anyways, this man, he fell in love with the sweet beautiful girl. He fell in love with her and then he let her go.” He says, a few boos sounding from the crowd.

             
“Now don't judge him too harshly.” He says, returning to the middle of the stage. “He only let her go because he thought she deserved more. But now, well he's decided he can't live without her.” He says, his eyes finding mine in the crowd.

             
Immediately my hands feel clammy and my stomach twists in a nervous, anxious way where I'm not sure if I am going to puke, faint, or both. There's something so familiar to this story and yet, I don't know what to think of it. Certainly he's not talking about me?

             
“But now here's the real issue.” He continues. “He lost the girl and only then did he realize his mistake. Problem is, now that he's come to his senses, it would seem so has she.”

             
“Now this is where I come in. This man came to me, hoping that I could help him get through to her, being the talented musician that I am.” He rubs the back of his hand on his shirt like he's polishing his flesh. Laughter radiates from the crowd.

             
“This girl, you see, is a musician as well, and a very talented one might I add.” He winks in my direction and my heart literally starts beating out of my chest. I swear it's beating so hard that if someone looked close enough they would see it hammering under my skin.

             
“So hoping to speak to her in a language she will understand, I helped him put together a little something for her tonight.” He says, picking up his acoustic and flinging the strap over his shoulder. Pulling up a stool in front of the mic, he grabs another one at the back of the stage and pulls it forward, taking a seat.

             
The spot light narrows down onto Thad just enough that the center stool is not completely visible to the audience. As soon as Thad begins strumming on his guitar, a voice immediately echos through the mic and the spot light shifts to reveal Zayne sitting center stage.

             
My breath catches in my throat and my entire body trembles under the deep blue eyes that are pinned directly on me. The words of “Stay” by Florida Georgia Line, echoing through the room full of people. The rhythm has been slowed down and all instruments stripped away, giving into the songs vulnerability.

             
I look from side to side, confusion flooding through me. When I see Em and Alec huddled together to my right, both watching me, I know that they were somehow in on this. Alec gives me a warm smile and it tells me everything I need to know. He supports this. He supports me.

             
I turn my attention back to the stage, not able to keep my eyes from Zayne. I don't know if I am more shocked that he's here or that he can actually carry a tune. He's no where near Thad's caliber but he's really pretty good. His voice is deep and smooth and every fiber of my being lights up under his stare and the sound of him echoing through my ears.

             
At some point through the bridge, he stands, his voice becoming more confident, his passion so infectious, I swear everyone in the room can feel what he's saying with the song.

             
I can feel my cheeks blaze red and the small establishment suddenly seems too small. I feel claustrophobic and a bit on display at the same time, even though no one knows who he's singing too. At least I don't think they do.

             
As Zayne pulls the mic from the stand and jumps off the stage, women behind me gasp. Clearly just as taken by him as I am in this moment.

             
He takes two long steps towards me, his movements smooth and controlled. As he closes in on me, the crowd backs away, trying to get a better view of what's going on. As the spot light follows Zayne, I know without looking that we are the only things visible to everyone in the bar.

             
He reaches out and takes my hand, my fingers shaking against his palm as he sings one part directly into my face. “If I told you I loved you would it make you want to stay, there's gotta be a way because going on without you is killing me everyday.” The emotions behind the lyrics are on full display across his impossibly handsome face.

             
I fight the tears welling behind my eyes but by the time the last word leaves his mouth and Thad's guitar plays it's final note, my tears are on public display. I can't control them, anymore than I can control the way I feel about the man in front of me.

             
I know right here, without an ounce of doubt, that I will never be able to live a life with him not in it. I am addicted, obsessed, and insanely in love all at the same time and honestly, the feeling is intoxicating.

             
“Grace.” He speaks directly into the mic, taking a step back to put about a feet of distance between us.

             
“I never should have let you walk away.” He says, reaching out to take my hand. “But I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. You are everything to me Grace. A life without you is a life I don't want to live.” He says, pulling something from his pocket and dropping down on one knee in front of me.

             
I don't have time to process anything before his words ring through the microphone for everyone to hear. “Grace Morgan. I love you. I am so in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my days proving to you just how much. Please say you'll be my wife.” He says, releasing my hand to open the red, velvet covered jewelry box perched in his palm.

             
The moment the large ring is revealed, my hand immediately goes to my mouth to suppress my gasp. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life. And it's not the oval cut diamond ring set on a white gold band that I'm talking about. But the man holding it.