“Kellen and I haven’t known each other that long.”
“You’ve known him about the same length of time as you’ve known Quinn.”
“But Quinn was actively discouraging my interest in Kellen. It’s only these past few weeks that we’ve really played it basically one-on-one.”
“Basically is not wholly.”
“There speaks the man who has spent half his life avoiding a commitment to the man he professes to love.”
“And you’ve spent half your life nagging me about. It’s payback time, sister dearest.”
I grinned and shoved another chocolate into my mouth. “So,” I said, around the gooey peppermint mess, “when do I get out of this joint?”
He glanced at his watch. “The doctor was supposed to be here an hour ago to give you a checkup. If you pass that, you can leave.”
Meaning I’d better not mention the lingering lightheadedness, or I’d be stuck here another night with the antiseptic reek and the ghosts.
“Why don’t you go see what’s keeping him? Otherwise, I’m just going to check myself out.”
“You can try.” He rose and gave me a somewhat cheeky grin. “I am, however, bigger than you and I will drag you back to this bed if I have to.”
“Yeah, right.” I waved a hand at the doorway. “Just go find that doctor.”
He headed out. Five seconds later, Kellen came in, bearing the biggest bunch of flowers I’d ever seen. Pleasure shot through me.
“Hey,” I said, by way of greeting. “No one’s ever brought me flowers in the hospital before.”
“You almost didn’t get them now,” he said, with a sexy grin that had my hormones hopping in delight. “Except the flower seller practically accosted me and accused me of not caring.”
“Guerrilla tactics for flower sellers? Man, things must be tough in that business.”
“Well, there weren’t many men getting by her without buying some flowers, let me tell you.”
He placed the flowers on the bedside table, then sat down on the edge of the bed and caught my hand in his. His fingers were as warm as his smile, and yet he seemed tense. Maybe he hated hospitals just as much as I did.
“So,” he said, “how are you feeling?”
“Fine.” I shrugged. “Better when I get out of this place.”
“So no aftereffects of being shot by silver?”
“No.” I hesitated. “But it wasn’t the first time I’ve been shot with silver, and probably won’t be the last.”
“No, I guess not.”
I frowned at the edge in his voice. “What’s wrong?”
His gaze searched mine for a minute, his green eyes curiously flat. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
He snorted softly. “Guess I had that coming.”
“What?” God, I felt like I was watching a foreign movie, with the main character speaking a language I just didn’t understand.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It obviously
does
, so explain what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I shouldn’t have to explain, Riley.”
“So consider me thick and do.” And then, suddenly, realization hit me. “You think you should have been able to protect me?”
My voice was incredulous, and annoyance shot through his eyes.
“I’m an alpha. It’s part of my job to protect those I care about.”
“But that’s ridiculous. A, because I can generally protect myself, and B, because the shooter was a vampire and regular werewolves haven’t the speed to go up against one.”
“You did. Have.”
“But I’m not your regular, everyday werewolf.”
“Something I’m seeing more and more.”
I raised my eyebrows at the deepening edge in his voice. “It’s not like I’ve ever hidden what I was from you.” Not when we started going out for real, anyway.
“No, but hearing it and seeing it are two entirely different things.” He shuddered. “You didn’t even react when you saw that man’s brains splattered all over the sidewalk. Not emotionally, anyway.”
“Because I was too busy trying not to get shot.”
“People trying not to get shot don’t get up and race toward their attacker. That’s not normal, everyday behavior.”
But I wasn’t a normal, everyday person. I hadn’t been when I was born, and was even further from that now.
“So what, exactly, are you saying?” The question came out a little hoarse, because fear suddenly had my heart lodged somewhere in my throat.
“I don’t know.” He squeezed my fingers lightly, though if the gesture was meant to reassure me, it failed miserably. “I can’t help my innate need to protect you.”
“But I’m not asking you to stop it, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is, I obviously can’t. It’s in my nature to
try
, but there are things—people—in your life that I will never be able to protect you from.”
“I can’t help what I do, Kellen. And the one thing I don’t expect from you is protection.” Caring, comfort, and understanding, yes. And definitely love. But protection? I had Rhoan for that. It had been just the two of us from the beginning of our lives, and it would be the two of us until the very end. I needed no one else when it came to that.
“I know you don’t,” he said, “and that’s probably part of the problem right now.”
I stared at him for a moment, then rubbed my eyes wearily. “So what does this mean for you and me?”
Because it sounded like the shit was going to hit the fan again—emotionally rather than figuratively—and I really wasn’t ready for another kick in the gut. Not after I was starting to pull it all together again.
“Right at this particular moment, it means nothing.” He hesitated. “It’s just that, like you, I have things I need to think about.”
“What’s the point of me coming to a decision if you’re in the process of backing away?”
“I never said I was backing away, Riley. I just said I needed to think a few more things through. You’re not getting away from me that easily. Not after I’ve fought so long to pin you down.”
And yet, despite his words, despite the warmth flaring across his lips and the tenderness in his bright eyes, part of me wasn’t reassured.
He glanced at his watch, then said, “What time are you getting out of here?”
“I’m not sure yet. Rhoan’s gone to find the doctor.”
“Would you like me to come back and pick you up? Take you home?”
By home, he meant his place, not mine. And I wasn’t sure I was ready for that after everything he’d just said. So I shook my head.
“There’s a heap of stuff I have to do at home, and I haven’t even unpacked from the holiday yet.”
“So when do I get to see you again?”
“That depends on your definition of ‘see.’”
“You know what my definition is.” He kissed my fingers, his lips so warm on my skin. A tremor ran through me. I wanted to feel his lips all over me, kissing and teasing and exploring. I ached for his touch with a suddenness that surprised me, and yet reluctance—or was it fear?—held back the words that would have had him in my arms tonight.
It was stupid, I
knew
it was stupid, but I couldn’t get rid of this fear. What if I gave more of myself to this man, and he had more second thoughts?
Tuesday, I thought. I had until Tuesday to give him the answer. Which gave him until Tuesday to settle his thoughts and decide whatever it was he had to decide.
He glanced at his watch again. “I have to leave for a meeting. Promise you’ll ring me if you get out of here tonight?”
“I’ll ring.”
“Good.” He rose and kissed me good-bye. It was a light kiss, a gentle kiss. Like I was a porcelain doll that was so very fragile.
Only I had never been—and never would be—fragile. And if Kellen wanted that in a relationship—wanted someone he could protect—then he was chasing the wrong woman. Not that I didn’t want someone to love and protect me. I just needed someone who could love me as I was. And that included the part of me that was a trained hunter. A trained—if somewhat reluctant—killer.
I might have told Kellen what I was, but until tonight it hadn’t really connected on any deeper level. And I could only hope that the realization of who and what I was didn’t spell the end for us.
Because I didn’t want to lose him.
Chapter 11
I
t was another three hours before the doctor managed to drag his overworked butt into my room. After a quick check—during which he marveled over the pink scar on my leg and healing capacity of werewolves in general—he declared me fit enough to go home. To say I limped out of there in record time would be the understatement of the year.
Once in the car, I rang Kellen to let him know I was out. He invited me to lunch the next day, and I accepted happily. No matter what he might have said, he still wanted to be with me. Right now, that was all that mattered.
When Rhoan and I got home, I had a shower and something decent to eat. With body and belly happy, I went into Rhoan’s room, grabbed his laptop, then hobbled over to the sofa.
Rhoan plopped a coffee on the table next to my feet, the heat of the cup warming the side of my foot even though it wasn’t actually touching, then sat down on the sofa opposite.
“What are you looking for?”
“I asked the cow to do a full background search on Jorn and Yohan Duerr, the owners of Mirror Image.”
“Do you think the man you smelled at the club was Jorn or Yohan in disguise?”
“Possibly. And if he was also the man Adrienne ran into at the club, then it would certainly explain her rushing off to the island.”
He frowned. “How?”
“Apparently she has a psychic gift that allows her to see images of the past or future when she touches people.”
“Oh, that would not be a fun one to have.”
“No worse than having ghosts wanting to sit around and chat.” I rubbed my leg gently, wondering how long it was going to take for the ache to go away. “Jorn and Yohan apparently shipped over here a couple of years ago from England. I just wanted to know why they came here—whether they were running to better weather, or simply running from trouble.”
“If they were running from trouble, they wouldn’t have gotten into the country.”
“Convictions keep people out, not suspicions.”
“True. And new identities are easy enough to get.”
“I’d like to think DNA scanning will put an end to all that.” I reached past the laptop and picked up the coffee, taking a sip before placing it back down again.
“DNA scanning technology is expensive
and
still being trialed,” Rhoan said. “It won’t get into airports or docks for years.”
I grunted, looked into the eye scanner, and waited for the laptop to connect into the Directorate’s computer system.
“I guess even if they are finally installed, the bad guys will have worked out a way to get past them.”
“Always. Cops playing catch-up with criminals is the way of the world.”
The laptop beeped, an indicator my file had been retrieved. “Well, well, well,” I said, after scanning the first page. “It seems that Jorn and Yohan owned a nightclub in London that was linked to over a dozen disappearances. All of the missing women were blondes, and all of them were from well-off werewolf families.”
Rhoan raised an eyebrow. “Linked how?”
“Seems they were all last seen on the nightclub’s premises.” I scrolled past the full details of the victims. “The report says that the owners were very cooperative with the police, and handed over all available security tapes. Apparently Jorn and Yohan were never under serious suspicion, and the tapes showed each of the women dancing with a different man on the night of their disappearance. The disappearances were never solved, and the file remains open. Interestingly, the disappearances stopped once they sold the club.”
He took a sip of his coffee, then said, “Odd coincidence that they’ve started up again here, and not long after opening another club.”
“Neither you nor I believe in coincidences like that.” I scrolled to the next page. “Oh, and it gets better.”
“More murders?”
“One more. In Germany.” I read the report quickly. “The twins were born in Germany. Their mom died young, and their daddy had a habit of bringing home new moms weekly.”
“Whores?”
“Nope. Daddy was a doctor, and tended to float his boat amongst the well-off and comfortably rich. Wasn’t too concerned about whether his conquests were married or not.”
“Don’t tell me, he slept with one married woman too many?”
“Even better. He slept with a rich young werewolf very close to the full moon.”
“And she tore him apart in the heat of the moment.” Rhoan shook his head. “Humans never seem to learn.”
“You can’t just blame humans. Us wolves have a responsibility of care, too, you know.” After all, we knew how violent we could get.
“So what happened to the wolf?”
I hesitated, reading on quickly. “Nothing. The mating act was consensual, and the death itself was deemed accidental. She did minimum time.”