Embracing Ashberry (7 page)

Silence reigned in the room for many long minutes,
until Ellie replied, her voice shaky. Despite the sudden and
unexpected resurrection of her long ago dreams, she well knew that
appeasing her father's outrage had to be her first priority at the
moment. "You are probably right, Papa, but I believe it would be
best if I am the one who determines how I answer the marquess'
proposal. I hardly think he's the type to respond well to a refusal
delivered through the auspices of my father—what if he took it upon
himself to find out why?" She sighed. "Obviously, he hasn't yet
because he came to you, but if he knows my age, he must have
wondered."

After a moment, Lady Whitney interjected
thoughtfully, "All that your papa has said makes sense for most
situations we considered, but Ashberry might be the exception in
one way. I cannot conceive that Ashberry would drag the family
through the courts should he discover the truth after your
marriage—doing so would not only shame our family but also
Charlotte."

Startled by her logic, Whitney met her eyes, his jaw
tightening. "Are you suggesting we sacrifice Ellie's mental and
physical health, then, and take such a risk?" he asked grimly. "He
might not drag her through the courts, but he could send her away
from his house, confine her, even punish her ... we do not know him
that well."

Ellie's mother shook her head. "I would hardly offer
my own daughter up on a sacrificial altar. We have been careful,
you know, to always be discreet. When anyone has inquired directly,
the answer is always the same: Ellie, unfortunately, you are not in
the best of health and we do not think it would be wise to subject
you to the stress of the ballroom and soiree. However," she paused
firmly, looking at her husband, "Such an excuse can only take us so
far, which is why we've planned to leave London as soon as Edward
and Charlotte are able to manage on their own."

Clearing her throat, Lady Whitney turned to her
daughter. "You must, Ellie, use your best judgment—if you truly do
not suit, he will know it as well and accept your word. If not, you
must somehow satisfy him without arousing his curiosity—he seems to
me to be the type of man who would not hesitate to interfere if he
thought your ... antipathy towards marriage might somehow be
anything other than a dislike of him. Appealing to your health
might be a last option to consider."

Ellie nodded, her face outwardly composed. As usual,
her father thought her incapable of even the most innocent
relationship while her mother invested her with maturity,
self-assurance and manipulative powers Ellie wasn't quite certain
she had.

In a quiet voice, she asked to excuse herself,
relieved when her father nodded. "If you don't mind, I may go to
St. Stephen's."

Her parents said nothing—a response she knew was
resigned acceptance. Ellie left the room, her heart still beating
fast and her thoughts muddled. Behind her, the voices of her mother
and father resumed, her father impatient as always, her mother
again with unimpaired calm. She moved without haste, but
deliberately, calling for the carriage and finding a cloak to pull
around her before summoning a maid as company.

By the time the carriage pulled up in front of the
chapel, Ellie was certain she was right; it was no surprise to find
the marquess seated in a pew near the middle of the church. Without
a second thought, she slid into the pew beside him.

* * * *

"You could use my father's pew," she whispered.

She was not too close to be improper, but Ashberry
could barely fathom her presence beside him, let alone her words.
To have her so close physically, and yet so far away in all the
ways he wished to know her, was agonizing. He managed to nod,
wondering as he did if Whitney had yet discussed the thing with his
daughter. Only a few hours had passed, but he had felt drawn here
to St. Stephen's for comfort.

"There is no need. You are sitting in mine." The
coin had been well spent, Ashberry told himself. If he could
convince Ella Whitney to become his wife, she would still wish to
come here when they visited London.

She answered his unasked question. "I find I am
faced with a ... momentous decision, my lord."

Ashberry dared not look at the girl. He lifted his
head in time to see the rector enter the chapel, look directly at
him and then Ella, and then discreetly turn his back to them,
kneeling at the altar in prayer. He whispered back, his voice deep
and quiet. "May I be of assistance?" He refused suddenly to
consider any outcome but marriage as an urgent and unfamiliar surge
of possessiveness surged inside him—the bravery and intelligence
Ella Whitney had demonstrated in coming to the church and taking
the seat beside him proved that she was more courageous than he had
dared imagine.

Ellie restrained the urge to laugh but then bit her
lip as a surge of gratefulness swept her. He knew of what she
spoke, and yet he would allow her to speak in her own time and
fashion. "I suppose you could," she said gently, "If you were
overbearing or harsh, you could make the thing much easier to
refuse."

Ashberry released a long, slow breath in an effort
to control his incredible emotions. He had never imagined he would
desire a bride who might be free, and even encouraged, to refuse
his title and fortune. Men with his rank and wealth were not taught
to be relieved when a young lady accepted an offer; they chose
their brides and expected eager cooperation from both the girl and
her family in return. "Such behavior on my part would be foolish,"
he murmured. "I do not wish for you to refuse."

"I cannot consider your suggestion seriously, my
lord. You made it without ... without knowing things about me that
you should know." Ellie's voice was trembling, and Ashberry felt
his gut tighten. She did not wish to deceive him. "Things ...
things you should have known before you even thought of me. Things
... things that keep me away from the fashionable parties and balls
where so many others find their mates." Ellie stumbled to a halt,
but continued doggedly after only a moment. "Papa ... Papa says
that you mustn't discover these secrets, but I cannot even consider
your offer unless you know."

Ashberry drew a deep breath, astonished by his own
reaction—now that he knew of her outer courage and inner will, he
felt as if he was being consumed by an unfamiliar emotion he hardly
could even describe. He dared a quick look toward her. She was
staring blindly at the floor, her hands clenched tightly in her
lap. He immediately identified the emotion she struggled with as
agony.

He rested his hands on either side of his thighs,
gripping the edge of the pew. He was silent for several moments,
until he was able to form a sensible reply. "Miss Whitney, you do
not know me well. I cannot force you to believe that I will keep
your confidences but I do ask that you permit me enough time in
your company to establish that I will."

Ellie looked at him then. "My lord, your presence
here gives me hope, hope that I will find the courage I need. You
haven't yet withdrawn your offer despite the opportunity I just
gave you, and I thank you for that."

Ashberry returned her now steady gaze. He smiled
gently and slid his hand across the pew to gently brush the back of
her gloved fingers. "Although I intended to spend more time with
you before I declared myself, I do not regret that I was obliged to
make my desires known early. I hope it is a comfort to you that I
am not indulging in idle flirtations while I remain in London."
Pulling his hand away, he looked to Ellie as she turned her head
slightly to him. "I will try to be patient, Ella, but now that the
words have been said and I see how courageous you are, I find I am
even more desirous to see you as my bride." He watched her eyes
widen for a moment before adding, "I'll be by mid-morning to take
you driving in the park. Take what time you need to find the words
you are seeking, Ella. I will not change my mind."

He was gone before Ellie could recover enough to
even agree. However, his use of her Christian name had contained
his unmistakable message. With a sudden shortness of breath that
had nothing to do with fear, Ellie clenched her hands in her lap
and bowed her head, attempting to muddle through the rush of
emotions she was experiencing. Still, the thousand questions and
images flitting through her brain could not be channeled or
organized even in that sacred building.

Mid-morning had already arrived by the time Ellie
rushed into the library. She and her mother had spent an endless
amount of time choosing what Ellie would wear for her drive in the
park. Eventually, Lady Whitney had conceded to Ellie's own choice,
a delicious dark green and white striped morning gown with Ellie's
matching evergreen pelisse. Now though, Ellie was nearly desperate
as she sought her eldest sibling. Edward was there, as Ellie
expected, and she rushed to his side. "Edward," she asked
anxiously, "You must advise me, and quickly."

Edward set away his account books for the family's
Jamaican tea plantations and carefully searched his sister's
distressed eyes. "Are you sure you wish for my advice?" he asked
cautiously.

Ellie sighed. "Not about that," she denied
hurriedly, "But it's related. Mama says that the marquess will come
in his phaeton. She says that I may not take Jane, for there will
be no comfortable place for her. But if I do not, I will be sending
the marquess a clear message that I intend to say yes, since we
will be alone with only his groom and in Hyde Park, of all places.
I am not convinced it is the best thing." She stopped and then
added softly, "Papa would be furious if he discovered it and even
more outraged if he knew Mama had maneuvered it by forbidding me to
take a maid."

Her brother shook his head. "Ah, Ellie, you are
being pulled in all directions, are you not? I wish, I wish I could
take the burden from you, but I'm afraid I cannot let my own dreams
for you get in the way of managing the present." He smiled then.
"Fortunately for you, Ashberry has had some foresight. He sent me a
note this morning asking if Charlotte and I would accompany you.
She will be coming with her brother presently and my—our, Charlotte
and I's—new open coach is already sitting out front, waiting,
complete with Papa's required footman to act as our coachman."

Ellie smiled in relief, hugging her brother
impulsively. "Thank you," she exclaimed. More seriously, then, she
added, "Edward, dear, I would not ask you to interfere, for the
choice is impossible. You cannot disobey Papa and you cannot
disagree with Mama, so it is best to simply not enter in the
debate. I wish I could do the same."

Edward nodded, standing up and taking his sister's
arm. "Come Ellie, let's walk in the garden while we wait." He led
her outside the library doors and into the small garden beside the
house that extended to the kitchen court in the rear. "Papa and
Mama both have their spies indoors, as you know," he said softly.
"And I wished to give you a word without it being passed
along."

They strolled through the barren garden together,
and Ellie was silent, knowing her brother would speak in his own
time. He did, only a few moments later, for the air was cold and he
had come outside without his cloak. "You are, Ellie, the bravest
person I have ever known and probably ever will know. Despite all
that has happened to you, you are not bitter inside and you always
have a smile for Richard and John and I. Until this week, it has
always been easy for you to please both Mama and Papa at the same
time, for they blamed themselves, particularly Mama, for what
happened at home and were both ever so happy as you've gotten
better."

He squeezed Ellie's hand in his and stopped to look
in the conservatory windows. The room was empty, so he guided her
inside, to the far end. It was warmer there, and yet Ellie knew
they would not be overheard for the only doors into the house were
distant and heavy, so as to preserve the warmth in the room. "But
now," he continued, his voice still quiet, "You must be as
courageous as you've ever been in making the decision that is best
for you. Ellie, you cannot decide to marry because of what Mama or
Papa desire. You must decide what will make you the happiest—even
though for certain one of them will be unhappy with the
outcome."

He shook his head and sighed. "Papa is afraid that
if you marry, you will be shamed—that the entire family will be
dishonored if the marquess was somehow foolish enough to disclose
your secrets—our secrets." He sighed, then admitted, "But I cannot
believe he ever would, for the scandal he would create by annulment
or even separating from you would horribly embarrass his own family
as well, particularly Charlotte and Caroline, and Ashberry is
nothing if not devoted to his siblings."

When Ellie nodded, he continued, "Mama, on the other
hand, has always wanted marriage for you but this marriage in
particular she desires for her own reasons. She is impressed by the
man's title, not to mention the money and power behind it. When
Charlotte accepted my offer, Mama was thrilled because she is the
granddaughter of a duke, the niece of a duke, the daughter and
sister of a marquess. Unfortunately for Mama's aspirations, you
must remember that Ashberry does not wield that power unless life
and limb are at stake and he will not encourage you to become a
powerful matron of London's political circles. He much prefers his
farms and his horses, and will gladly choose to earn a pound rather
than spend it. As far as I can ascertain, the man is involved at
Westminster and St. James only because of his strong sense of
justice in the matter of France and his incidental residence while
in town to find husbands for his sisters. His brother Sebastian is
much more committed to and interested in the political world."