Emergence (Eden's Root Trilogy) (17 page)

Asher lau
ghed and obliged. Titan kicked his legs and snorted and then ran off, drawing the children behind him like a magnet.

Zykeem shaded his eyes as Titan tore away. “I better go get him back before he runs himself off a cliff or something.”

Fi grinned
. “Well, it was great to meet you Zykeem. I look forward to trading more stories after all this is over.” She paused, her face falling.

Asher’s chest tightened
. He knew what she was thinking.
If we’re still alive.

And even though Zykeem must have known it too, he forced a smile and said, “Deal.”

He gave a little wave and trotted off.

“Miss Fi?”

They turned to find a young girl with a poof of white blonde curls corralled by an Army of Eden headband
. She couldn’t be more than thirteen, Asher thought, and she was tinier than Fi. She held out her mitten.

“I just wanted to meet you in person, Miss Fi,” she said
. Her translucent skin flushed a deep pink. “And you too, Mr. Asher.”

Fi pulled a face and Asher bit his tongue
.
Miss Fi and Mr. Asher.

Fi shook the girl’s hand warmly
. “And you are?”

“Hannah, Hannah Lemly
. I read all about you in Mr. Asher’s book, Miss Fi, and I…I mean you…you’re just…you’re really brave.” Her flush deepened.

“Yes,” Asher said
, stepping in as Fi turned as purple as her admirer. “She is. It’s very nice to meet you, Hannah Lemly. And please, I know I speak for my wife when I say to just call us Asher and Fi.”

“Oh, ok…uh, Asher.”
Hannah wrung her hands, bouncing. “I just wanted to say hello, since we’re all going to be traveling together.”

What?
he thought.
This child couldn’t possibly be coming.
“You won’t be going back home to your Net with the other children?”

She shook her head, her
blue eyes brimming with pride. “I get to come because I’m a medic.”

“
I see. Has anyone ever told you that you’re awfully young for a doctor?” he teased.

She grinned and shook her head.
“Medic. I only said medic. I just like, help and stuff. And I’m older than I look.”

“She’s more than a medic
,” a man said, approaching. “She’s got a steady hand and stomach, and she’s a lightning-fast learner. I’m Jonas, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Jonas.”
Asher shook the man’s hand. “I take it that you’re a doctor, then? And Hannah’s your daughter?”

A frown ghosted across Jonas’
face. “Uh, yes to the first and no to the second, but…I’d be lucky if she were my daughter.”

Hannah’s smile was tight.
“Thanks, Jonas…and ditto.” She turned to Asher. “Jonas took care of me after my mom died.”

“I’m sorry,” Asher said, flustered.
“I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s ok,” Hannah said
. “I read your book, remember? Just because I’m an orphan doesn’t mean I don’t have family. Family means the people you love…” She took Jonas’ hand. “…The people you fight for.”

Shit.
Asher’s eyes burned with warning tears. Fi touched his arm, but that only made it worse. Nothing like the word
orphan
to send him right over the edge. He coughed. “You’re right, Hannah,” he said, his voice thick. “You’re absolutely right.”

##############################################

With all the introductions the day flew by, and the light started to fade. Fire pits flared to life, dotting the fields surrounding Jean and Luc’s warehouse. The snow-covered fields turned cotton candy pink to match the tendrils of cirrus snaking overhead. Shadows moved between tents in the growing flicker of firelight. Flags dotted the field bearing the Army’s standard, Eve, her branches shivering in the wind.
It was eerie
, Asher thought. He kept feeling like he’d stumbled into some kind of Revolutionary War re-enactment, but this was real.

So
rt of
, he thought, sighing. He wondered if George Washington had felt this lost. The volunteers all seemed enthusiastic, but…
this was their Army?
There was little chance that there would be enough arms, or more importantly, rations for this traveling circus. And it was freezing and miserable, with weeks of marching ahead. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. What was worse was that he knew Fi felt the same way.

He watched her, standing
vigil in the doorway of the warehouse like she had been for the last two hours. Though everyone else had bedded down and she needed to do so as well, she stayed, the trusty shepherd with her flock…unable to rest.

“Fi?”
He approached with Luke snuggled against his chest. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes,
Ash. All is calm…all is bright…”

“What?”

“Sorry.
I’m ok. I just started singing ‘Silent Night’ in my head, and for some reason, I couldn’t leave. I had to keep watching them.”

He pressed against
her and felt her shiver. “It’s ok, you know, Fi. They wanted to come.”

“I know.”

“And they knew what it could mean.”

“I know.”

“And you’re not the Leader anymore.”

“I know.”

She turned, folding into him, her freezing hands winding beneath his jacket and making him shudder. Luke nestled between them and he felt her relax as she took a deep breath. He kissed her head. “You know I mean that, Fi. I know you can’t leave them because you feel responsible. Like it’s your fault that these people are here. But it’s not.” He tipped her chin up. “It’s Sean’s.”

She burst out laughing and startled Luke, who started screaming.

“Oh, no!
Oh, God, ssssssssshhhhhh,” she gasped, laughing. “Ssssssssssssshhh, Baby! Mommy’s sorry. Ssssshhhhh, it’s ok. It’s ok.”

“I’m
so sorry, big guy,” Asher said, cradling his wailing son. “I didn’t know Mommy was going to laugh that loud.”

She swatted his arm.
“I didn’t know either.”

T
ears filled her eyes and her hand flew to her mouth.
There it is
, he thought.
She couldn’t push it away forever.
He folded her into him again.

“Why am I crying?”
Her voice was muffled against his chest. She laughed, and then hiccupped, but the tears kept coming.

He rocked
and shushed her, just like he did with Luke, who had settled. As she always had, she cried silently. When he felt her breath begin to come in smoother waves, he knew that her tears had begun to abate. She pulled away, her face a wet, messy scrawl of confusion. She let him lead her to the little sleep area he’d set up for them in the packed warehouse. They snuggled in together and she yawned, seemingly exhausted. He expected her to drop off to sleep right away, but after ten minutes she was still stirring.

“Asher?
Are you awake?” she whispered.

“Yes.
”

“I…I wanted to say
I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I thought that after Luke…I thought…”

She stopped and he felt her shake her head, as if arguing with herself.

“What did you think? You know it’s ok to tell me anything.”

“I know.”

Her voice was small.
He waited, letting her sort it out.

After a minute she finally spoke.
“I thought that you thought I was crazy. Like, actually crazy. I mean, I disappeared on you, and I’ve been an emotional wreck, and I don’t know where those tears just came from, and I’m just…I’m afraid you’ll still think I’m crazy, and so that’s why I’m sorry.”

He felt her choke back a new sob and he squeezed her, pressing his face into her neck.
“Sorry for what? For being depressed when you find your home destroyed, and your sister missing, and on top of it all you have a new baby? C’mon, Fi, I understood. I honestly don’t know how you didn’t break down a million times before.
I
was just afraid…” He stopped, the words stuck in his throat.

“…
that Luke would die. And that I would let him.”

Oh, God, is that what she thought?
He inhaled sharply.
“No, it’s not like that. I never thought it was your fault. I just knew it was too much. It was like I could feel death coming for you, and I…I was afraid that this time you wouldn’t fight it off.” His chest burned at the memory of her wasted face. He pulled her closer.

“That’s kind of you, Ash.
” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’ll just try to think of it that way and not think that I was…crazy. But I still don’t get why I can’t stop crying now. Maybe it’s hormones.”

“I don’t think so
. It seems normal enough to me. I just think that it’s so not your style that it almost pains you to do it.”

“Do what
, Ash?”

He paused.
Maybe she really didn’t understand
. “To let go, Fi. I know it’s hard for you, but you’re not the Leader anymore. It’s time for you to let go.”

That did it.
She turned into him and a new onslaught of tears wracked her body as he held her.

“It’s ok, baby
,” he murmured. “Five years of burden don’t come out in one cry.”

---------- Fi
-----------

Fi sat with Sean in the early morning hours while the others slept.
Despite the frigid cold outside, the dying fires and rustling piles of humanity around them warmed the air.

“What have we gotten ourselves into this time, Sean?
That’s what I keep thinking now. Do you ever think that?”

“Every second
. But then I think, ‘What else is new?’”

“Right?
I know. This is straight-up, old-school Sean and Fi, huh?”

“
At least this time it’s not up to you, Fi. You don’t have to bear the whole responsibility.”

“
Don’t be silly, Sean. I’ve never had the whole responsibility.”

He rais
ed an eyebrow. “Yes, you did.”

“Yeah, well that was probably a mistake.”
She dropped her head. “You know, the closer I got to having Luke, the more I started to think about your parents. And the Coopers. I can’t believe I just marched around like I was in charge and expected them to follow me. It was crazy. Like if I let Kiara tell me what to do.”

“C’mon, Fi.
It was a crazy time. And you didn’t march around
like
you were in charge…you
were
in charge. You did what you had to do.”

“I still feel like I owe them all an apology
. Especially your father. I hate that we argued over it. I just keep thinking of the man who used to do super-high ‘Underdog’ on the tire swing for me.” She grew quiet, her mind sinking into memories of rippling sunshine and the sound of her own joyous shrieks as the tire reached its zenith and then spun faster and faster, until the forces had her plastered to it like glue and she was flying and breathless and free.

“
Yeah.” Sean’s eyes squeezed, the left just a little more than the right — his “memories” smile. “Dad did have a pretty terrific Underdog. Too bad Mom shut him down.”

“After you nearly broke your arm
,” Fi whispered, biting her lip to suppress her laughter. People around them were stirring, but she didn’t want them to wake. It was too nice right here, right now, in this moment with her best friend who remembered who she was
before
.

He grinned.
“I probably shouldn’t have tried that dismount.”

She shifted Luke and nodded.
“Ill-advised for sure. But then, no one had landed a 460 with a twist. It was the lure of fame.”

Sean burst out laughing and was rewarded with a knit hat to the face.
“Sorry,” he murmured, tossing the hat back to its owner, now burrowed deep within his sleeping bag. He turned back to Fi, the merriment in his eyes draining away like the color being sucked from a photograph. The moment was snuffed.

Sean was still Sean, but now in shades of grey rather than the sharp browns and blues and brilliant fall oranges that
were Sean just a second ago, launching into his 460 like a delirious bird. They were sitting on milk crates in a warehouse in the winter, surrounded by a sleeping army. There were no more tire swings, no more Underdogs. That was in the old world.

In
this
world her father made her promise to leave her second family behind to fend for themselves. And in
this
world her best friend and virtual “brother” had explained that fact to his father…her father’s best friend. And though she knew her Uncle John understood, there’d been a moment, a flicker like an electric shock that had passed between them. Sean hadn’t seen it, or if he had, he’d never acknowledged it.