Emergence (Eden's Root Trilogy) (18 page)

No, she thought it was just for her, that pain.
Like her Uncle John had grabbed a live wire and been so shocked that he’d forced her to grab it too, just to share the pain.

As if he’d read her mind, Sean spoke up.
“Once I told him the situation, he understood.”

She winced.
“You mean about Rachel.”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for a minute and Fi adjusted Luke’s blanket. The truth is that she would have kept her promise to her father. She would have found some way to leave them all, including Sean, behind. But not once she knew Rachel was Sick. There was no more decision at that point. But she’d never wanted any of them to know what her father had asked.

She pressed her face to Luke’s head, tucked in the tiny fleece cap an Army member had made for him.
“You know, Sean, I was really mad when you told Uncle John that we were supposed to leave you guys behind.”
It was hard enough that you knew
, she thought.

“I know, Fi
. But if Dad didn’t know that we were just along for the ride, he never would’ve let you lead the way.”

“Still sucked, though.
Now he’ll always know…”

“What
?” he interrupted her. “That your father threw you the only life raft that he could before he died? That he was tortured by the idea of leaving you with the responsibility? Believe me, Fi, Dad isn’t stupid. He understood the choices Uncle Mike made. And if it were him, he would’ve done the same thing.”

“Life raft,” she repeate
d. “That’s what Eden was. Our life raft. And now it’s gone.”

“I wish more than anyone that it could be different.”

“It’s just so stupid,” she said. “After everything that we’ve done just to survive, and now the survivors have to fight each other. Stupid.” Despite the fact that she’d made the declaration herself on that stone ledge months ago, it felt like a lifetime ago. It was silly — a whispered battle cry — a child’s pledge.
Only a fool declares war
.

The grey Sean
— layered, worried, brooding Sean, placed his hand on her knee, rousing her from her thoughts. “If there were any other way, you know we would’ve taken it. We tried to avoid this. But now there’s no choice, Fi. It’s the Truthers who declared war, not us.”

“I know.
I just never imagined that this would be our mission now. To harm instead of help.”

“
It all changed when they took our families.” Sean’s jaw twitched. “Now, we have two choices. We beat them, or we bow to them.”

###############################################

The pace they set once they got underway was grueling. From sun-up to sundown the army marched or jogged, depending on what they could handle. Having to stop to feed Luke constantly set Fi behind and she pushed herself to stay at the head of the winding river of humanity that was flowing south. Her body was weak and she knew that for Luke’s sake, she should be taking it easier, but the magnetic pull of her little sister on the horizon drew her forward.

I’m coming.
I’m coming for you…

There was no time on their few breaks to discuss strategy, but she was still dying to learn the details of Sean and Julius’ plan.
Or the General’s plan. Really, she wasn’t entirely certain whose plan it was, but she wanted to know more.

When the sun disappeared and the moon rose high, they finally stopped for the night and Fi seized the chance to learn more about their mission.
Fire pits sparked and fizzed as the Army bedded down. The Seeders settled together and Fi felt a calm come over her. This was familiar territory: the four of them talking strategy, distances, and movements. “So,” she began, “all I get about the plan so far is that everyone who is on our side is racing to this settlement, this ‘Camp Truth,’ to fight them and get our families back.”

“That’s the plan in a nutshell, Fi,” Sean agreed, sighing as he accepted a cup of hot tea from Sara.
Tea was one of the contributions of the Army members, and Fi sipped hers gratefully.

“But how many people do we have?”

“I can answer that.” Julius strode into their circle. The Army had taken up calling him Commander Julius, since he was in charge, but his right eye pinched as if he was cringing every time they said it. He took Sara’s offering of tea, and crouched beside the fire. “Once everyone arrives, we’ll have about 60 combatants in total, and 300 to 400 non-combatants.”

“I’m sorry
, but…combatants?”

“Fi, you said yourself that our volunteer Army is not really made u
p of fighters. Between the Nets, Diaspora, and Lakeland, we have about 60 people with some combat background, whether it’s military, police, or martial arts. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those are with Diaspora.”

“So we’
ve got to wait until they arrive,” Asher said.

“We’ve got to
wait.” Julius nodded. “But that’s a little bit of a problem as well.”

“Why?”
Fi bounced Luke. He was starting to fuss and she shifted him into the airplane position and “flew” him gently. He’d need food soon. As soon as she was done eating.

“Here, Fi,” Sara gestured.
“I’ll take him. You eat.” Sara gathered him up and made a whooshing sound as she continued to “fly” him, belly down. He was still so tiny that he fit in the space from her palm to the crook of her elbow. It was hard not to smile, watching Sara rock him that way, her free hand gently cradling his back. Ever since they’d arrived, Sara had been all about Luke. Even though Fi was grateful, it did kind of sharpen the edge of her guilt.

“Thanks, Sar
,” she said, jamming a handful of nuts in her mouth before turning back to Sean. “So, why is waiting bad?” Her words squeezed past the nuts. She caught the glance Julius exchanged with Sean. “What? What aren’t you telling us?”

“We’re on the clock,
” Sean said. “Carter’s got a deadline. In about four weeks, he’s going to kick our families out into the Dead Zones and leave them.”

“What?”
Fi and Asher erupted at once.

A chunk of nut whistled into her windpipe and she choked, hacking and reaching for her tea.
“But even if we fly,” she croaked, still coughing, “it’s going to take another two weeks to get there and we’re ahead of the others. How are we going to get everyone there in time?”

“We’re not,” Sean said hesitantly.

She took a long sip of tea and sighed as her throat relaxed. It felt so good that it took her a minute to register what Sean had said. “What do you mean we’re not?”

“We can’t possibly get the Diaspora and Lakeland cohorts all the way to West Virginia in time, even though they’re already on their way.
At least,” Sean shook his head, “it’ll be close.”

“So what’s the plan
then?” Asher asked.

“The plan is to stall them,” Julius said.
“We think that if we can get someone on the inside, get them to trust that person, then we may be able to think of a way to stall. So far, besides their attack on Darryl, they haven’t actually hurt any of the colonists.”

“Besides nearly starving and freezing them to death,” Fi
said bitterly. Her mind bloomed with the image of Kiara shivering beneath a thin blanket, her teeth chattering, her arms around little Zoe Skillman. Her stomach clenched and she turned to Sara. “I can take him back. I think I’m done eating for now.”

Sara kissed
Luke before turning him over to Fi, and then settled back onto her log in the shadows. For a second, Fi stopped, wishing that she had more time to sit with her friend and talk. To sit and chat about…jeez, about having a baby and having sex and being in love and failing calculus…and about why Sara sat in the shadows spinning her blades on their tips…

Luke burbled
and Fi startled.
There was no time.
No time for real talks. No time for real life. The only thing there was time for was worry. “Ok,” she said, pushing her friend and her spinning blades into the back drawer of her mind, “you need someone to go undercover then. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

Sean nodded.
“That’s our thought. Whoever goes in can try to stall them and can also gather information to help us to plan our attack.”

“And they could keep an eye on the colonists at the same time…make sure that the Truthers don’t start hurting anyone.” Asher added.

“Exactly,” Sean said.

Luke snuffled and Fi kissed his head, shifting him to her shoulder and rocking as sh
e stood. She sucked her teeth. This part of the plan seemed a little thin to her. Four hundred people surrounding the Truther settlement, now that was a plan…but a spy? Who could they possibly ask to do that? Who would the Truthers trust enough to let into their settlement, and their secrets? Her mind raced ahead, trying to picture it.

These were
mostly religious people, however screwed up their leader. From what Sean and Sara reported, they were solicitous of the women and children.
At least with their own
, she thought. “Have you thought about who should go in?”

“We’ve been debating,” Julius said.
“On the one hand, we need someone who seems non-threatening, someone who will make them let down their guard. On the other hand, that person will have to be ready for anything, in case things go wrong while they’re still inside.”

Luke wiggled in Fi’s
arms. He opened his eyes and whimpered. She shushed him, but his cries intensified as he came to full wakefulness with an empty belly. Asher handed her the sheet she’d been using for privacy. “Sorry,” she said, as she got herself situated. She winced as he latched. Her breasts still weren’t used to the feedings, and the cold did nothing to help that.

She was startled when she looked up and saw Sean and Julius both studying her intently.
Julius murmured something to Sean and he nodded.

“What
, Sean?” she asked. “What are you thinking?”

“Uh, well,” Sean said,
his eyes darting nervously to Asher, “we’ve been debating who to send in because most of the Army of Eden volunteers aren’t trained fighters, and the few ex-military guys we do have, like Julius, are kind of intimidating-looking. I guess it just occurred to me where we could find a skilled fighter who would seem less scary.”

“Absolutely not!” A
sher cried. “No! No way, Sean! We have a baby now. An infant. Who needs her.” He shook his head. “It’s out of the question.”

“But that’s just it,” Fi said, mulling it over.
“Who would be afraid of a young girl with a baby?” Her lips curled at the thought of being able to go in and see Carter firsthand. To look him in the eye and lie to him just like he’d done to so many others. She caught Asher eyeing her.

“No, Fi.
C’mon, no! You can’t even be thinking it.”

“But, Ash, it’s perfect, don’t you see?”

What she cou
ld see was that his jaw was set, his calm hovering on the razor’s edge.

“You know there’s no way I’m going to let you go in there alone, especially with Luke.”

“But she won’t be alone, Ash.
” There was a glint as a spinning blade came to a stop. Sara spoke from her spot in the shadows. “I’ll go with her.”

------------ Fi -----------

I
t took a whole day’s debate at full cross-country run pace (which was no small feat) for Julius and Sean to win Asher’s acquiescence. Fi mostly stayed out of it because she knew he didn’t want to fight with her about it. He had to see it as part of the overall plan, period, not her crazy idea.

When they’d settled for the night he finally yelled, “All right,
all right! Just shut up about it! Yes, ok? Yes. As long as she doesn’t fight in the siege, then…fine…I guess.” He’d stomped off before she’d gotten to say anything.

She hadn’t been thrilled to hear that their plans didn’t include her fighting in the actual battle, a point she took up when Asher made his exit.

“
Your role is going to be the most important, Fi!” Julius said. “Don’t forget that! The most important thing in our entire plan is to remove the leverage.”

“
Leverage?” Fi asked.

“T
he colonists. As long as Carter has our people, they’re not prisoners, they’re hostages.”

Fi nodded.
Yes, they couldn’t just attack the settlement. Carter would just start killing their people.

“That’
s where you and Sara come in,” Sean added. “Even though I think you two will make great moles, there’s no way that any of us would let you go into battle, Fi.”

Fi’s face fell,
her fantasies of shooting her way through a wall of Lobos to get to Lawson shattered. Sean was right. It was taking enough risk with Luke as it was, going undercover. “So what do you have in mind?”