Emma's Deliverance (14 page)

“
Jason, she’s delusional. Not only does she see people that are not there, she believes them to be real. As real as you or I. She will see them and speak to them and she could even do what they ask of her. She may not be safe around children. Do you understand what that could mean? It might not be a good idea for her to have children. There are times when patients like Emma simply can’t be trusted. They believe things that just aren’t true and she could get worse. There could be huge problems for both of you. Are you sure this is what you want for your future? She has the love and trust of her family. They can care for her. I know you feel you need to protect her, but this only tells me that you know deep in your heart that she isn’t well.”

“
Thanks for the advice, Dr. Williams, but you’re wrong,” Jason objected. “You’re so far off base here. No offense, but with those thoughts you could really con someone into thinking they were sick.” Angry and frustrated, he’d stormed out of the office.

Chapter Nineteen

February was a busy time for the flower shop. Valentine’s Day was soon approaching and Emma had been ordering red roses by the truckload. She had to hire extra help in January while Becky was in school since Marie wasn’t willing to work full time. She enjoyed part time and was also spending a lot of time with a man she met from her church.

“
So, when do we get to meet your Mister Right?” Emma asked. “Becky tells me he calls you almost every day. I’m happy for you, Marie. If this is what you want then I think it’s wonderful.”

“
Oh, it isn’t anything serious. We haven’t even, well you know,” she said blushing.

Emma was amused, remembering her first time with Jason.
“Well, let’s just hope it happens soon, okay?”

“
Emma, I wasn’t exactly talking about sex. I just meant we weren’t all that close yet,” she said quickly changing the subject. “I’ll bring him by to meet you soon, I promise. I’d like to get to know him better before I start introducing him to my friends and family. I haven’t mentioned him to my son or daughter yet. We’ve only had dinner a few times and a movie once. I don’t know why he calls me so much. Really, we aren’t that serious.”

Emma had a million things to do and so spending any more time talking to Marie about her love life would have to wait. She was curious though about this mystery man. Becky said she saw him once, but didn
’t pay too much attention as to what he looked like except that he was old. Of course, anyone over twenty-five was old to Becky. She did say though that he looked younger than Marie.

Emma
’s new employee was a retired policeman who just happened to love flowers. He was forty-four years old and had already put in his twenty years on the force. He decided to retire while he still had some good years ahead of him. Alan Byrnes was surprisingly calm and gentle considering his past life. He had spent most of his time as an officer in Chicago and a few years in Pittsburgh. He had worked his last six years on the force in Clayton County. He had worked mainly in high crime areas before coming to Clayton, but walked away without ever killing anyone or getting wounded. Jason got along well with Alan and they had endless conversations about one thing or another. Alan’s wife, Marissa was in real estate and was one of the top sellers in her office. She looked more like a model than the mother of three boys. Emma thought she was very pretty. She loved her long brown hair. Marissa usually wore it up and usually dressed in business suits. She always had a briefcase and a cell phone with her and it wasn’t unusual for her to excuse herself during dinner to discuss a sale.

The four of them became fast friends and had dinner together often. Alan warned Emma that she could only have him for a little while then he was opening up his own flower shop. He was serious and explained to Emma right away the day she hired him that he and his wife were planning to move to her home town near Madison, Wisconsin as soon as their youngest son graduated from high school. Marissa was planning on getting in with an upscale real estate office in Madison and Alan would follow his dream and open up his flower shop. Marissa
’s parents were getting on in years and she wanted to be near them. Marissa and Emma were becoming great friends. Emma was happy to have a girlfriend. She really hadn’t been close with anyone other than family and now Jason. She was happily in love with Jason and now they had friends in common. Life was getting better and better. Emma felt Jason was very near proposing and she was going to accept. There was nothing she wanted more than to be his wife, despite everything Dr. Williams had told her.

One evening, while the four of them were having dinner, Emma asked Marissa and Alan if they were alright. They seemed to be acting a little strange or at least that was what Emma was picking up on. She looked at Marissa, but it was Alan that spoke first.

“Marissa has been offered a brokerage with the real estate office here in Clayton. This really throws a wrench in our plans to move to Wisconsin. They want her to be the broker for at least two years and we weren’t planning on staying here much longer. I wanted to get started on my business and now we really don’t know what to do. This is a wonderful opportunity for Marissa, but not so great for me.” He sounded a little pissed.

“
It isn’t like I planned this,” Marissa said. “I want to move just as much as Alan does, but this could mean a few hundred thousand extra for our nest egg if we stay two more years. We could really use the extra money. Besides, it isn’t like we’re old and gray. We have plenty of time to start over.”

Emma didn
’t know what to say. It seemed this was between Alan and Marissa. She didn’t feel comfortable getting involved, but she felt she had to say something. “Listen you two. Whatever happens, I think you guys will work it out. Alan, if you end up staying in Clayton I would really like it if you would consider staying on at the shop. In the time you have been there I feel you have made such a difference. Honestly, I wish you would consider staying.” Emma was being truthful. Alan had helped her quite a bit. She was thankful to have his expertise. He had given her many ideas and shortcuts as well. The subject was dropped and they ate their dinner with just a little small talk.

“
Hey, isn’t that Marie over there having dinner?” Jason blurted.

Emma looked over and could see it was Marie
. The man she was with had to be her new boyfriend. Emma strained her eyes to see his face. Marie saw Emma and waved to her as her date turned to see whom she was waving at. Emma let out a gasp as she looked at the face of the man sitting with Marie.

Oh my God
, It’s him. Oh God help me, it’s him. No. I won’t fall for this. It isn’t him because he isn’t real. He isn’t real. I killed him and he is gone for good.
Marie’s date kept staring at Emma and then he smiled. Her hands began to shake and she could feel herself getting dizzy. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“
Emma, are you okay? What is it?” Jason asked looking stunned.

Emma sat frozen.
“How can he be with Marie? He isn’t real. This is Marie’s new boyfriend. He is not the stranger. He is not the stranger. I only think I see him. It is Marie’s boyfriend, that’s all. It isn’t him,”
she muttered hoping Jason didn’t hear what she said.

Jason took Emma
’s trembling hand in his. He reached for her other hand and squeezed them tightly. Emma closed her eyes again. Silently, she began to repeat to herself over and over,
It isn’t him. It isn’t him
. She opened her eyes, but refused to look over at Marie and her date again.

“
Emma, what is it, Honey?”

“
I’m suddenly not feeling well. I want to go home. Please take me home,” she said standing up and hardly looking at anyone.

“
I’m sorry guys, but Emma must be coming down with something. I’m going to take her home.”

Alan extended his hand and Marissa kissed Emma on the cheek.

“Emma,” Marissa said, “you’re white as a ghost. I hope you aren’t getting that flu. Take care and I’ll call you in the morning. If you need anything just let me know. I can go to the pharmacy if you need me. Get some rest, okay? Just go on now, we’ll get the check.”

Emma nodded and looked at Jason to take her home.

On the way back to Emma’s apartment Jason turned to her with such a look of concern. “Emma, what happened back there?”

Emma didn
’t want to tell him. She wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. She looked over at him and she could tell by the look on his face that he suspected. Jason pulled the car over to the curb and put it in park. It was cold and so he left the heater going. Emma still had not spoken. Jason sat quietly waiting.

“
I. . .I don’t know. . . what to say,” she stammered. “When I saw Marie sitting there I thought she was with the man from my nightmares. I’m sorry, I hate that I have dragged you into my craziness.” She lowered her face and cried into her hands.

“
Marie was with someone, Sweetheart. You didn’t imagine him. He must be the new guy in her life. I’m sure he might have looked like that guy from your nightmares, but it wasn’t, it was Marie’s new boyfriend. He’s real. You have to get a grip on this. The man from your dreams isn’t real and you know it. The man you saw tonight, Marie’s date, is real. You didn’t imagine him. You should have said something to me. Maybe I could have helped you. We could have gone over to their table and spoke to them. Emma, you have to trust me with this. He looked okay to me. If this happens again tell me, okay? We can work this out together. I know you get scared and I want to help you. I love you. I want to take care of you,” he said putting the car into drive and heading for her apartment.

“
Jason, I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m not a child. I just need you to love me. It makes me strong when I think of our love. I know I have a problem. It took all my strength, but I managed not to scream out at Marie’s date. I was terrified when I saw him, but I did it, Jason, I did it. I recognized the fact that I only thought it was the man. I could see she was with someone. It’s just that when I saw his face it looked the face of the stranger. I knew it wasn’t him. I knew that, but my mind tricks me into believing I see someone else. Sometimes I see him and there isn’t anyone there at all. To me, he is as real as you are right now. Do you understand?”

Jason looked at her with
compassion, but Emma wondered if he really understood.

“
If you only knew what I am going through. If you only knew—I wasn’t going to tell you and I don’t want you to say anything to my parents or Dr. Williams, but I used to see him a lot. I would see him a lot more than I shared with anyone. He would wave to me and sometimes he would put his finger to his lips as if to tell me to be quiet. It terrified me. I know he isn’t real, but it terrifies me. I can’t tell the difference between my imagination and mistaking someone else for this man. My God, I attacked my neighbor across from my shop and it took all my might not to scream at Marie’s boyfriend. I don’t know what I’ll do next. It isn’t like what Dr. Williams tries to tell us. I don’t hear voices. Except, sometimes he does speak to me, but I haven’t seen him in months now. This is the first time. You believe me, don’t you?” she cried.

Jason pulled into the parking lot and they got out of the car. He put his arms around her and walked her up the stairs. He used his key and opened the door. As soon as they were inside Jason sat her down on the couch and kissed her. He held her tightly and let her calm down in his arms. After a while she relaxed, but Jason continued to hold her.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this tonight. We’re going to fight this together and we will win. I promise you, we will win. I know you aren’t crazy. I know you don’t hear voices, either. I trust in our love and together we will not only survive this, but we will have the most amazing life together. I promise you.”

“
Jason, I love you so much. I want to be with you forever, always and forever. I need you. You give me the strength I need to fight this. You are my reason for wanting to be normal. Do you understand what I mean?” she asked.

“
I do know what you mean. I want that also. I probably should wait until another time, but I was planning on doing this tonight and I think it will make you happy.”

He stood up and pulled something out of his pocket. He knelt down on one knee and opened the little box in his hand exposing a beautiful diamond engagement ring.

“Emma, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to live with you and have children with you and grow old with you. Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?”

Emma wasn
’t surprised. She had suspected for a little while now that he was going to pop the question. She had thought that when he did she would say yes without hesitation, but now that the day had arrived she wasn’t so quick with her answer. Perhaps it was seeing the stranger again. If the thing at the restaurant hadn’t happened tonight she might be saying, yes. She didn’t really know what to say, and even when she tried to reply she lost her words. She was still feeling upset, but this evening only proved to her that maybe it was better to wait on marriage for awhile.

“
Emma, please don’t tease me. Say yes. Say you will marry me,” he begged as he remained on his one knee awaiting her answer.

Emma loved him. This much was true. She had never felt this way about anyone else. Why couldn
’t this have been a special moment? They should be happy. She should be crying for joy.

“
I love you and nothing would make me happier than to marry you, but I have problems. You know that. I might get worse and Dr. Williams said I might not be okay with having kids. He said there is a chance I could hurt them. I didn’t want to believe him, but after tonight I just don’t know anymore. I was feeling so good about my life. I felt free for the first time in a very long time. Then there he was again. Taunting me—haunting me. Dr. Williams said this was going to happen again and I didn’t believe him. He was right, I guess.”

“
To hell with what Dr. Williams says. He doesn’t know you like I do. You’re just a patient to him. I love you, Emma. I know you. You’re the best thing in my life and I want to marry you. We can have children and, of course, they will be safe. You’ll be fine. I believe in you. I believe in us. Will you marry me?” he asked her again.