Enchanted Ecstasy (23 page)

She would go with Kane for the moment because she had no choice, but the first chance she got she would take her baby and hide where he would never find them, she vowed.

Kane rode up beside her, and seeing the stubborn set to her chin, knew what she was thinking. He smiled at the irony of the situation. He who had always scoffed at love and marriage had to force the woman he loved to marry him, using his child as bait.

Maleaha, seeing the smile on his face, thought he was feeling pleased with himself. For the moment he had her at his mercy, and he knew it, but it would not always be so, she thought.

They had to stop twice so Maleaha could tend to Cimeron. They camped that night before dark. Kane led the horses down to the stream to water them, and Lamas went off into the woods to hunt game for their evening meal. Maleaha spread out a blanket and sat down to nurse her daughter. Cimeron cooed and gurgled happily, and Maleaha's heart swelled with love for her. Hearing Kane return, she stared at him angrily. Kane did not notice her anger. He was staring at the beautiful sight of Maleaha nursing his daughter. Her breasts were larger, since they were filled with milk, and they appeared creamy and satiny.

Maleaha was embarrassed by his expression and laid Cimeron down and refastened her gown. Kane smiled at her and gathered up the canteens and walked once more to the stream.

Now was her chance to escape, she thought. Picking Cimeron up in her arms and casting a fugitive glance toward the stream, she crept silently in the direction of where her horse was grazing.

"Don't try it, Maleaha. I would only come after you." Maleaha jumped guiltily. She had not heard Kane come up behind her, and wondered why she had not detected his footsteps. Kane seemed to read her face and smiled.

"I learned many things from Mangas. One of them was how to walk silently like an Indian."

"You have no right to do this, Kane."

Cimeron held her arms up, wanting Kane to take her. He smiled tenderly at the tiny girl and lifted her into his arms. "I have the right, Maleaha. You gave me the right when you gave life to my daughter.''

"Do you have no small doubt that she is your daughter?"

His shoulders shook with silent laughter. "Oh, Maleaha, Maleaha, would you have me think that anyone other than myself had enjoyed the joys of your beautiful body? Besides, Cimeron looks like me."

"How can I rid myself of you?"

"Surely not by claiming Cimeron is not of my seed. I knew the moment I saw her she was mine."

"There is more to being a father then just begetting a child, Kane."

Kane looked down at Cimeron. "Don't you think I know that? Today has been very unsettling for me. I find I like the thought of having a daughter. I want her to have all the love I never had from my father. Heed my words, Maleaha, I will do all within my power to see that she has both a mother and a father.''

Maleaha looked at Kane disbelieving. "Why are you doing this? I never thought of you as a man who would want to settle down with a wife and child. I remember a time when you made your views very clear on that matter."

"Yes, I recall saying that to you. Let us just say for the sake of argument that I have changed my mind."

"I do not want to be your wife."

He studied her face through half-veiled lashes, and Maleaha could feel the pull of his charm. "Why, Maleaha?"

Trying not to think how handsome and magnetic he was, she raised her chin proudly. "If I were your wife, I could never be sure when you were not with me that you wouldn't be with another woman. It would be humiliating to have a husband who had three mistresses on the side," she told him, throwing his father's words in his face.

Kane could have told her that he had no desire for another woman. Since the night he had made love to her it had become distasteful to him just to think about making love to anyone else. He was feverish in his desire to possess her again. He wanted to reach out and crush her in his arms and remove all her doubts about him, but he did not.

"If my fidelity is the only thing that is standing in the way of our marriage, put your fears to rest. I shall have no mistresses." He stared into her eyes, and she could not seem to look away. "Maleaha, if you will have me for your husband, I shall honor our wedding vows."

His words seemed to be spoken sincerely and she wanted to believe him. She had no idea why he wanted to make her his wife. She knew he didn't love her. Maleaha shied away from thinking about the woman who was waiting for him in Boston.

"What are your plans, Kane?"

"I know of a little mission in the mountains. I will take you there and we can be married quietly. Then I would like to have Cimeron christened, if you have no objections."

Maleaha nodded. "Then what?"

Cimeron had fallen asleep and Kane carried her to Maleaha's blanket and laid her down. Kane then took Maleaha's hand and led her down to the stream where they could still keep a watchful eye on Cimeron, but she would not be disturbed by their voices.

Maleaha pulled her hand away from Kane and sat down beside the stream, trailing her hand in the cool rushing water.

Kane sat down and rested his back against a tree and watched her.

"Maleaha, do you remember that property that your father told me about the night I dined at Deveraux?"

She nodded.

"I bought the land and had a house built." He paused, letting her digest what he had told her. "I would like it if you would live with me there. The house is not furnished, but you could decorate it any way you pleased."

Maleaha shook her head. This was not the Kanen Benedict she had come to know. How long would it take him to decide he did not like the life he seemed to have mapped out for them?

"You are confusing me, Kane. I do not understand why you want me and Cimeron."

Kane sighed in exasperation. "I have already told you I want Cimeron to have a mother and a father. I believe if you love her you will not deny her that right."

"If I did live with you, Kane, what would you expect from me?"

Everything, his heart cried out. "I would ask no more of you than you are willing to give," he told her.

"Do you believe you could live the life of a monk?"

His piercing eyes looked deeply into hers. "Can you?"

Maleaha felt herself being pulled under his spell once more, and she feared he would sense she was weak.

"I will marry you, and I will go with you to your home, but if it does not work out I will leave, Kane. I swear it."

Joy leaped into Kane's heart, but he did not let it show on his face. Instead he decided to change the subject, fearing Maleaha would sense how he felt about her.

"I believe Cimeron likes me," he said softly.

"Apparently all females like you, why should she be any different?"

"Surely not all. You, for instance?"

"I am only one among many. Surely you will not suffer knowing I do not care for you?"

"You can like me or not, that is your choice. As you say, it makes but little difference."

"I was already married to you once, Kane. Why do you insist on another wedding?"

"As I told you at the time, I did not feel that marriage was binding."

"Oh yes, I remember only too well. You made your views very clear that next morning."

Kane's head jerked up, for he had heard the hurt in her voice. It had never occurred to him that Maleaha might feel bound by the marriage Mangas had performed that night. He closed his eyes, thinking what a blind fool he had been. Of course she had felt bound by the marriage, because afterwards she had given herself to him willingly. He needed to hear her admit it.

"Maleaha, did you feel the wedding performed by Mangas was binding?"

Maleaha wished with all her heart that she could deny the truth, but he had asked her a direct question, and she could not speak falsely. "Yes, my mother and father were married in the same way. To deny that I am your wife would be to deny that my mother and father were married."

"Oh, God. I had heard that. I suppose I just forgot."

"There is no reason for you to feel bound by the marriage. You are not an Indian. As I recall you were forced into it by Mangas."

"Your father was not an Indian, yet he felt bound by the marriage."

"You are not like my father. He respects the ways of the Jojoba, and he knows that before God he was my mother's husband."

"I am beginning to see more clearly. You do not feel then that Cimeron is illegitimate, do you?"

"If I believed Cimeron was illegitimate, then I must also be, for I was born from the same kind of union that she was. Had you known my mother, you would know she would never have lived with my father unless they were married. Do you consider me a bastard, Kane?"

"No, of course not."

"Then neither is Cimeron."

He was thoughtful for a moment. "I have hurt you many times in the past, haven't I?"

She looked past him to where Cimeron lay sleeping. "One must love before they can be hurt," she said, spinning another golden lie.

Once again Kane was stung by her cold words. "I cannot find it in me to regret that night we spent together, Maleaha. Although I only met my daughter today, I find I love her deeply." Maleaha watched as he stood up and walked off into the darkness.

Two days later Kane and Maleaha stood before a kindly old priest as he spoke the words that once again made them man and wife. Kane was very solemn when he repeated the vows, and Maleaha could not imagine what was going on in his head. Was he feeling trapped? Her vows were spoken hardly above a whisper. When they were pronounced man and wife, Maleaha felt no more married than she had the night Mangas had joined her and Kane together.

As they rode away from the mission, Maleaha saw the tired lines in Kane's face. She had noticed when he was weary that he would walk with a slight limp, and she wondered if his leg still pained him. She was sure it did when she saw him grimace in agony and run his hand along his thigh. Her heart went out to him wishing she could comfort him, but she knew he would not welcome her concern. She could see years of heartache ahead for them both. He was tied to a woman he did not love. She would be a good wife to him. She would tend his house and prepare his meals, giving him no cause to find fault with her. She would stay with him until he no longer wanted her.

Maleaha raised her head to the heavens and saw the clouds that had gathered in the direction in which she knew Kane's ranch was located. She felt his eyes on her and looked at him.

"Don't look so woebegone, Maleaha. You could have had a worse husband. At least I will never beat you." He smiled and added, "Unless you provoke me."

18

It was early afternoon when they reached Kane's ranch. Maleaha drew her mount up as they topped a small hill and gazed down below at the huge ranch house. It was built in the Spanish style, and since it was new it had an unlived-in look.

Kane pulled his horse alongside Maleaha's and watched her face to see if she liked the home he had built for her.

"It's lovely, Kane, and not unlike Deveraux."

"I hope you will feel at home in it. As I told you, it is sparsely furnished, but I hope you will not find it uncomfortable."

They rode down the hill, followed by Lamas. When they stopped in front of the house Kane helped Maleaha dismount, since she was encumbered by the sleeping Cimeron. The house seemed to welcome Maleaha with its white limestone and red-tiled roof that gleamed brightly in the sunlight.

"I am sure with just the right touches it will be a very lovely home, Kane."

"Will you decorate the house, Maleaha? Money is no object. You will have a free hand to do as you like.'' She sensed an eagerness about him, as if he wanted her approval.

"Is that what you want me to do, Kane?"

"Yes, very much." He took Cimeron from her and led the way to the front door.

"Wait," Maleaha said. "Where would you like Lamas to stay?"

Kane paused on the doorstep. "Will he be staying here?"

"Yes, he will not leave me."

"He could have a room in the house."

"No, Lamas would not like that. He likes his solitude."

"Very well, he can stay in the bunkhouse for now. Later we will build him a small house of his own." For the first time since Kane had known the old Indian, he saw Lamas grin. Lamas spoke to Maleaha in the language of the Jojoba, then led the horses toward the barn.

Maleaha smiled as she climbed the steps behind Kane. "What did he say to you?" Kane inquired.

"He asked if he could have a front porch on his new house, along with a new rocking chair."

Kane laughed. "We will buy that old man the best rocker that money can buy. I have grown accustomed to having him around."

"You won't be sorry if you let him stay, Kane. Lamas knows more about cattle ranching than anyone I know, with the exception of my father. You will find he is a tireless worker."

"He is getting old. Don't you think he should take it easy?" Kane asked as he watched Lamas disappear into the barn.

"I hope you will never say that to him. He is a proud man and finds great joy in working with cattle."

"As you wish. Let's go in now. You must be tired."

Maleaha followed Kane into the house. A round, pleasant-faced Mexican woman came into the room wiping her hands on a white apron. Kane spoke to her in slow English.

"This is my wife, Mrs. Benedict," he told her.

"Pardon, señor?"

Kane looked at Maleaha in exasperation. "This is Rosita. She speaks no English, and I speak no Spanish. I have had a hell of a time trying to tell her I do not like beans and tortillas for every meal."

Maleaha turned to the woman and spoke to her in fluent Spanish. "I am Mrs. Benedict. Show me to a room where I can make my daughter comfortable, Rosita."

Rosita beamed. "Ah,
si
, señora. The señor is a very handsome man."

"Thank you, Rosita," Maleaha said taking Cimeron from Kane and following the Mexican woman up the stairs.

Maleaha opened all the doors to the upstairs bedrooms until she found the one that would be just right for Cimeron. Instructing Rosita to bring some quilts, the two of them made the baby a nice bed.

"Rosita, you stay with Cimeron while I go below. When she awakes you can bring her downstairs."

When Maleaha made her way downstairs, she found Kane waiting for her. "Will you accompany me to the study, Maleaha? It is the only room besides the kitchen which is furnished."

She followed him down the hallway and he opened a door, standing aside for her to enter. The wooden floor was brightly polished, and the bookshelves were partially filled with leather-bound books. There was a huge mahogany desk and a leather couch. The draperies that hung at the windows were a deep wine color. Two leather wingback chairs stood in front of the window. It was definitely a man's room, Maleaha thought.

"I like this room, Kane," she said sitting down on the couch and folding her hands in her lap. "Did you decorate it yourself?"

Kane was not really listening to her. He was thinking what a charming picture she made sitting in her buckskin dress with her dark hair falling over her shoulders. Many times he had tried to imagine her in this house, and now she was actually here. Not only was she his wife, but he also had a daughter. His happiness would be complete he thought, if only Maleaha loved him.

"Kane, is something the matter?" Maleaha asked. He was looking at her so strangely.

"No, what were you saying?"

"It's not important."

"Thank God you were able to speak Spanish. I have been going out of my mind trying to make her understand me."

Maleaha laughed. "I can imagine."

Kane sat down beside her and his expression became serious.  "Maleaha, do you think you can be happy here?"

"I don't know, Kane. I will try and make a home for you and our daughter. I have been doing a lot of thinking today. I love my father. He means a great deal to me. I do not want Cimeron to be deprived of her father. I will try to remember that."

"I hope to God I can be the kind of father to our daughter that Jonas has been to you."

"I am glad you wanted Cimeron. I didn't think you would."

"Maleaha, I think if anyone asks we should tell them that we were married last summer, for Cimeron's sake."

"We were married last summer, Kane."

"We were twice married then, Maleaha." He smiled. "That should tie you to me forever."

"Why would you want to be tied to a woman you do not love, Kane?"

"For one thing, I want Cimeron to have a mother and father, but I told you this already. What I did not tell you is that my father and I have never had a close relationship like you and Jonas do."

"Did you have an unhappy childhood?"

He was thoughtful for a moment. "When I was growing up, neither of my parents paid very much attention to me. As I grew older they would both use me against each other. No matter what our feelings are for one another, Maleaha, I do not want it to affect Cimeron."

Maleaha wanted to reach out and ease the pain she saw in his face. This was a side of him she had never seen before. She had grown up with a loving father, and it was hard for her to imagine what Kane's life had been like. She could envision him as a lonely little boy living without love, and now he was married to a woman he didn't love. Even though he would never turn to her in love, she would show her love for him by trying to make him a good home.

"What role do you want me to play in your life, Kane?"

His eyes blazed for a moment, and he stared at her parted lips. Then he looked away to stare at the bookshelf. "I would like for you to assume the role of my wife, at least when others are around. I would like you to make this house into a home. One that you will feel comfortable in."

Maleaha bit her trembling lip. "Is that all?"

"Yes, that will be all I will expect from you, with the exception of common courtesies that two people show each other when they live together.''

"Such as?"

"Letting me know when you will be leaving the ranch, and what time you expect to return. I would like to be informed ahead of time if we are having guests, that sort of thing."

"I will do as you ask. What can I expect from you in return?"

"I shall play the devoted husband. All I have I will gladly share with you. I will try to be considerate of your feelings. Is there anything I left out that you would like to add?"

Maleaha could think of many things he had omitted, but she did not voice them. She just shook her head.

"Do I have your word that the moment my back is turned you will not take Cimeron and disappear?"

"I don't know if you trust my word, but I give it anyway."

' 'I would trust your word before I would that of anyone I know," he said with feeling.

Suddenly Maleaha wanted to know about Lucinda, but she could not bring herself to speak her name. "Kane, did you never want to marry the woman you love and have children by her?"

His silver eyes darkened to a deep gray as he looked past her. "I have come to know that one can live without love, Maleaha—a lesson I have learned over the years."

"Kane, has this woman you love hurt you so badly?"

He looked into her eyes as if seeking some truths of his own. "She has torn my heart to shreds, Maleaha, and still I love her," he said in a raspy voice.

Maleaha had to look away for she couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes. "How about you, Maleaha, has no man ever touched your heart?"

"Oh dozens," she said flippantly.

He smiled unexpectedly. "It seems I have run off with the belle of Santa Fe. Many young gentlemen will want to call me out for taking you out of circulation."

Maleaha warmed to his lighter mood.

"Perhaps they can heal the hearts of the women who will be brokenhearted because you are now married."

Kane laughed deeply. "Yes, perhaps they can console one another."

"Where the hell is everyone!" a beloved voice called from the sitting room.

Maleaha jumped up and ran from the room. Laughing and crying at the same time, she threw herself into the arms of her father.

"Father, when did you get home?"

Jonas hugged his daughter tightly, then beamed down at her. "I got home just a few days ago. I rode to the Jojoba village only to find I had missed the two of you by hours."

"I'm so glad you are home, Father," she said, kissing his cheek.

"I have missed you, honey. I brought you presents from all over Europe." He looked about the empty room. "Looks like you could use a few sticks of furniture."

Kane was leaning against the doorjamb, watching father and daughter being reunited. "Welcome home, Jonas," he said, smiling.

Jonas rushed across the room and startled Kane with a rough bear hug. "Hell, I'm glad to see you, boy. From what Mangas tells me, you are my son now." For a moment Kane felt as if he were a part of the family. Kane felt good to be considered Jonas's son.

"I looked the spread over as I rode in, Kane. I am damned pleased with what I have seen so far. You have done a lot of hard work."

"As you can see, I took your advice and bought the property you told me about. I have a long way to go though before it will be a producing ranch."

"Hell, son, the main thing is the land. Now all you have to do is surround yourself with men who know what to do, and the first thing you know, you will succeed."

"My problem has been in finding the good men."

Jonas clapped Kane on the back. "Don't worry about that. That's why you have me for a father-in-law. I don't want to interfere, but if you want my help, I'll be more than proud to lend a hand."

Kane's face brightened, and Maleaha could see his excitement. "I would welcome any advice you could give me, Jonas."

The two men were so engrossed in their conversation that they did not see Maleaha climb the stairs to check on Cimeron. Just as Maleaha reached the landing she heard a blood-curdling scream, and Rosita came running down the hallway, crying that she had been attacked by a wild Indian.

Maleaha rushed into Cimeron's room to find Lamas sitting on the floor holding Cimeron on his lap.

"What has happened?" Maleaha asked, dropping down on her knees beside them.

"I caught that foolish woman trying to feed Cimeron beans," Lamas said angrily. "I told her to get out."

Maleaha could not control the smile on her face. "You gave her an awful fright. I can only imagine what she thought."

Rosita was in the sitting room waving her arms about talking rapidly in Spanish.

Kane looked helplessly at Jonas. "Can you understand what she is talking about, Jonas?"

"She says that there is a wild Indian in the bedroom and he took the baby from her."

' 'What wild Ind . . . oh, I bet it is Lamas,'' Kane said, smiling.

"All right, the Indian is Lamas but who is the baby?" Jonas asked.

Before Kane could answer Rosita began ranting wildly, while Jonas tried to calm her down. "She says she will not stay another night in this house, and she demands to be driven into town."

Kane shrugged his shoulders. "Tell her if she will stay until morning, I will have someone drive her into town."

Jonas finally calmed the woman down, and he winked at Kane as she sailed out of the room. "She says she will prepare dinner now. I explained to her about Lamas, but she says that either he leaves or she will."

"Lord, what a day this has been. I suppose she will leave in the morning, because it's for sure I won't ask Lamas to go."