“I’ll be fi ne.”
Jeff, a very straight looking businessman, leaned on the bar.
“Don’t dismiss him like that. He’s bigger than you, and he’s got that look in his eye.”
Nick nodded. “Maybe you better let us see you home.” Shawn tried to ignore the fact that his heart was racing a mile a minute. “I’ll be fi ne.”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
39
They both gave him looks meant to make him rethink his words. He did, but, after taking some more calming breaths, came to the same conclusion. “I’ll be careful. I promise.” But he had a chance to be sorry for his decision an hour and a half later when he exited the subway and walked the few blocks to his apartment building. He rounded the corner, took a few steps, then froze. Leaning against a newspaper dispenser there on the corner in front of the liquor store, was Joshua. Because the man was already there meant he hadn’t followed Shawn. At least, not tonight. He already knew where Shawn lived.
Bad. Very bad.
As Shawn stood in indecision, Joshua spotted him. He stood up and waved, smiling.
Against his better judgment, Shawn took the steps that brought him within speaking distance. The glow from the liquor store was welcome, the sight of a few people inside even more welcome. “What are you doing here?”
Joshua ran a hand over his buzzed hair. “I know this looks bad. But I just want to talk.”
“You know this is creepy, right?”
The bigger man grimaced, glancing at the brightly lit liquor store window. “I’m not dangerous. If I was, I wouldn’t have waited for you out in the open.”
That
so
didn’t make Shawn feel better. He took a step back.
“Shawn, no, wait. I just want to talk to you.”
“Talk.”
“Can’t we go someplace alone?”
For the fi rst time in a long time, Shawn was thankful that the area where he lived was relatively active at night thanks to a few all night stores, a diner and a scattering of bars and late-night coffee shops. If his street was dark and deserted, he’d have
40 Mykles ~ Much Ado
turned tail and run. As it was, there was no one right at hand to overhear but there were people near enough.
He dug his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“But, Shawna, I…” Joshua took a step forward.
Shawn took two steps back. “Don’t. How did you know where I live?”
Joshua swallowed. “I’ve followed you home. But only to make sure you were safe!” He glanced around. “This isn’t a safe area for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
Another step, hands out, palms up. “Shawna, please…”
“Yeah, that’s it. Get away from me and
stay
away.”
“Shawna!” Joshua’s voice trailed after Shawn but he didn’t follow.
Shawn stopped at the subway entrance and glanced back over his shoulder. No Joshua, at least not in sight. But Joshua had followed him before, unseen. Shawn would like to think that he’d developed a New Yorker’s healthy suspicion and an awareness of his surroundings. That someone had followed him, and he hadn’t known, made his skin crawl.
He stood at the top of the steps, trembling. He hadn’t felt this scared since moving to New York. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go home. Even if Joshua had left, Shawn wouldn’t feel safe. All of a sudden the world was a raw and dangerous place that made him feel very small and vulnerable. He had nowhere to go to feel safe.
No. There was one place. One person.
Fuck it.
He had a twenty in his wallet. He fl agged down a cab.
When the driver asked him for an address, he gave Roscoe’s.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
“It’s probably nothing. I’m overreacting.” ENCORE! ENCORE!
41
Lisa handed Shawn a chilled Coke can then sat beside him on her couch. “I don’t know. From what you’ve said, I’d be freaked.”
Roscoe hadn’t answered Shawn’s call up from the building’s front door. Shawn didn’t have enough to get back home, couldn’t make himself go home anyway. Luckily, Lisa was home, and more than willing to let Shawn in.
He loved her place. He had no idea what color her walls were because they were hidden behind scarves, tapestries, hangings and artwork. Artwork that was framed, artwork that defi ed frames.
He could barely see her fl oors for all the colorful, mismatched rugs. Blankets, pillows and sheets draped the furniture in abundance in every clashing shade of the rainbow. Luckily, she had big windows, and she loved light, so there was ample air and illumination. Her kitchen was a hodgepodge of mismatched appliances and accessories. The only place in the entire apartment that was neat and effi cient was her desk, the resting home of her laptop and printer. She rarely
worked
there, of course, preferring to write with the laptop on her lap on the couch or bed, but she kept the desk neat and prim.
He opened the Coke, sipped it, then busied himself with clearing a spot on the coffee table so he could set it down. At least, he was pretty sure that was a coffee table in front of him. “Like he said, he could have just jumped me in the shadows.” Okay, that’s not what he’d said but that had been the implication.
She snorted, crossing her feet at the ankles in the cushioned mess behind him. The patchwork colors of her long skirt blended with the blankets beneath them. “True. But just the fact that he was there and that he’d followed you before makes him creepy.”
“Yeah.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ll talk to my boss. He knows how to handle this stuff.” He twisted toward her but didn’t quite look at her.
“Can I stay here tonight?”
42 Mykles ~ Much Ado
She was silent long enough that he braved a look at her. Blue eyes were latched on him over a small, slight smile.
“What?”
“You want to stay with
me
? I don’t think so.” He sighed, dropping his gaze. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?”
“Don’t read anything into this.”
“Read anything into what, sweetie?”
“Stop. You don’t play innocent well.”
“I’m not even trying.” She poked him with a toe. “Did you stay with him last night?”
He grabbed her ankle to still the poking. “Yes.”
“Mmm hmmm.”
He sighed.
“We both know you came for Roscoe. Why deny it?” He picked up his can and slouched back in the couch, heedless that he now lay on her shins. “Fuck.”
She chuckled, picking up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the table behind her. “Sounds like you did.”
“We did.”
“Was good?”
“Was fabulous.”
“Yum. So? He didn’t ask you to come back?”
“No.”
“He wants you, you know.”
Shawn stared at the beams in her ceiling. Fake beams that supported nothing, there because she liked the look, and they supported various hanging odds and ends for her.
The lighter fl ared and menthol laced smoke swirled over Shawn’s head. “Sweetie?”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
43
“If I come back to him, I have to stop working at the club.”
“Why?”
“He doesn’t like it.”
“So?”
“That’s why we broke up before.”
“Not true.”
He rolled his head so he could look at her. “Huh?”
“What? You don’t think he talks to me? You don’t think I dragged it out of him?”
Shawn grimaced.
“Right. I know why you left. I can’t say that I blame you, given how he handled it. He was an ass, thinking he could tell you what to do.” She hummed, contemplating the smoke above her. “But he’s mellowed.”
“Has he.” It wasn’t really a question. She was right. If Roscoe hadn’t mellowed some, Shawn would have been able to resist him last night.
She took two thoughtful drags of her cigarette before answering. “You’re young.” She reached out to trace his shoulder with one fi nger. “So very young. Everything was so new and shiny for you when you moved out here. But you’ve got to remember, you were something of a fi rst for him too. He’s never taken a relationship so seriously.”
He gave her a skeptical look.
She raised her hand, fi ngers together, palms toward him.
“Swear.”
“He was dating Steven for three years.” He’d heard much about Roscoe’s only other long time love, a relationship that was over before he moved to LA to teach at Shawn’s college.
“And, yet, they didn’t live together. Their careers were totally separate. And they parted ways rather amicably.”
44 Mykles ~ Much Ado
True. He’d heard that too. He took a sullen sip of his Coke. “I wasn’t ever anything but a burden to him. He paid for me for two years. He should have been relieved I was going to get a job.”
“Mmmm. You’d think so. But you know he kind of liked it.
Supporting you.”
Yeah, he knew. It’s why it lasted so long. It was too easy to let someone keep supporting you when they didn’t complain about it. Still. “I don’t want to be dependent on him.”
“And, yet, here you are.”
He fl inched. “Ouch.”
“There’s no shame in it. Roscoe’s the type you
can
depend on.
He thrives on it.”
Also true. Damn it. “You’d think he’d let me go ahead and do my own thing.”
“You’d think. But then, he didn’t approve, did he?” Shawn snorted. “That’s an understatement.” She sighed smoke toward the ceiling. “And then male pride took over. Took over and has kept you apart.” She shook her head, clucking her tongue. “So sad.”
“Don’t patronize.”
“I live to patronize.”
He sat up and forward again to set his can on the small cleared spot on the table. The male pride part stung. Was that all that was keeping them apart? Which male was she referring to, him or Roscoe? “He’s disgusted with what I’ve been doing.”
“Why do you think he’s disgusted?”
“He hates drag queens.”
She laughed. “Where did you get that idea? He hasn’t got a thing against drag queens. He’s worked with enough of them through the years.”
“He has?”
“Yes.”
ENCORE! ENCORE!
45
“He never told me that.”
“Stupid him. But we both had a few who were pretty good friends back in the day.” He and Lisa had been friends since they’d both been young and hungry, struggling to make it.
That made it worse. It meant Roscoe actually did have some clue. “He hates
me
being a drag queen.”
“Now
there
you are correct.”
“So it’s just me then.”
She sighed. “He doesn’t think that’s the right arena for you, sweetheart. You can’t blame him for that. Directing people is what he
does
.”
He nodded, having come to that same conclusion himself.
Picking up a fancy quill pen from its resting place atop an embroidered pillow, he idly pulled the fl ouncy lime green feather through his fi ngers. “Maybe he’s right.”
“What’s this now?”
He shrugged. “I dunno. Just been thinking lately, is all.” Thinking more since last night. And what the hell was it with all the heart-to-hearts in the last day? Roscoe shows up, and all of a sudden everyone was in Shawn’s business. Not to mention setting off a stalker.
He felt her move, her feet sliding out from behind him so she could sit up and scoot closer. Her arm and the light fragrance of minty smoke closed around him. “Talk to Lisa.” Smiling, he leaned into her. “The drag show isn’t all that great.” He sighed. “It was okay at fi rst, but now…?” Another shrug. “I don’t think I’m right for it.”
“Just because of what happened tonight with that creep?”
“Joshua? No. It’s not usually like that. It’s just…” Yet another shrug.
“Sucks when Roscoe’s right, doesn’t it?”
“Big time.”
“You gonna tell him?”
46 Mykles ~ Much Ado
“Do I have to?”
They shared a laugh. She edged even closer so she could bump her forehead gently against his temple. “He loves you, sweetie.”
“Maybe.”
“Defi nitely. I know him. He’s crazy for you. He’ll tell you himself, if you let him.” She nuzzled his ear. “Methinks you still love him too. Otherwise, why’d you show up here tonight?” He stared at the quill in his hands and didn’t deny it.
They stayed like that, in a companionable silence. Shawn didn’t have a clue if it was two minutes or twenty, but they just breathed together until someone knocked on her front door.
Shawn jumped. “You expecting company?” Unconcerned, she rose from the couch. “Just one person.” He stood, grabbing his Coke as he stepped toward her kitchen.
“I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Not so fast, you.” He paused at the edge of the kitchen tiles as she opened the door. Then saw what she meant. Lisa may not be an actress but she was a playwright and had a pronounced fl air for the dramatic. Her eyes on him, she opened the door to reveal Roscoe in the hallway.
He said nothing as he stepped across the threshold, the eyes behind the horn rims searching, seeking, until they landed on Shawn, and stayed. He must have been at a business dinner since he wore a jacket and tie. His dark coloring allowed him to pull of the rich salmon of his dress shirt, and the dark green of his tie pulled out the green tone of his gray jacket. Some attempt had been made to slick back his hair but the jet curls had pulled free and crimped forward since then. He stepped toward Shawn with a concerned frown then stopped. “Are you okay, Finn?” Shawn pulled his gaze from Roscoe to land it, accusing, on Lisa.
She smiled brightly, unrepentant. “I called him when you were in the bathroom.” Right after he’d arrived.
ENCORE! ENCORE!
47
“Gee, thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. He
was
the one you came to see, after all.”
He grimaced and tilted his head down slightly so that he had to regard Roscoe through his lashes. “Hey. Sorry if she pulled you away from an important dinner.”
His hesitant greeting brought Roscoe forward another step.
“No worries. Lisa told me that some guy creeped you out?”
“Yeah. It’s probably nothing. I just…” he shrugged, leaning back against the island separating the kitchen from the rest of the apartment.
Roscoe was in front of him, hands reaching up to cup Shawn’s jaw. Shawn kept his gaze on Roscoe’s chin as his face was tilted back. Just a shadow of stubble there. Yum. “I’m glad you came.”