I couldn
’
t look away. It was probably the sweetest, most adorable thing I
’
d ever seen in my life. My eyes took in
everything, the way Nate
’
s clothes
clung to him in all the right places, the way his muscles flexed as he moved
and added another piece. The puzzled look on his face as they searched for the
block they wanted. How he laughed and bumped my son
’
s shoulder with his when DJ had said that the model looked like a
house, when apparently they were making a car.
Then I took in DJ as he looked at Nate, his
grin, the twinkle to his eyes as he laughed. The sound of their laughter melted
together perfectly. A child
’
s
laughter is probably one of the most beautiful sounds that a mother could hear,
and my baby
’
s laughter mixed with
Nate
’
s actually made my skin
prickle and my heart ache in my chest. I
’
d never once seen Josh just do this kind of thing with his son. If
they ever played, it lasted for a few minutes before Josh would start talking
to me or flirting. It was a little heart-breaking really that Josh was such a
useless father. DJ certainly deserved better.
I smiled over at them; the contrast between
the pair lying on the floor was so distinct that it was almost comical. Nate
was so tall and lean and mouth-wateringly perfect, with his blond hair, blue
eyes and creamy skin. Then there was DJ with his brown hair and eyes like mine,
and his dad
’
s naturally tanned
skin. They were so different, but for some reason that made them look even more
beautiful together.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself away
from the wall where I
’
d been
leaning for the last few minutes, just staring at the pair of them, and forced
myself to stop thinking about things so deeply all the time. If I wasn
’
t careful, I
’
d end up wasting the time that I did have with Nate because I was
too busy worrying about him leaving me.
I headed over to them and smiled as I sat
on the sofa, resting my foot on Nate
’
s back, slipping it up the back of his T-shirt. He looked over his
shoulder at me and smiled, and I immediately got butterflies in my stomach.
Practically as soon as I
’
d sat down, my intercom buzzed, and I jumped
up to get it, immediately buzzing up Josh and waiting by the door for him. I
glanced at Nate nervously. The last time they met, Josh had done his usual
flirting routine, and Nate had told me he hadn
’
t liked it. Hopefully they wouldn
’
t be too awkward around each other today in front of DJ.
“Hey.” Josh smiled, stepping into the
apartment like he owned the place as usual.
“Morning, Josh. Come on in
,
”
I said sarcastically
.
As soon as he laid eyes on his dad, DJ
jumped to his feet, running full pelt across the room to him and jumped into
his arms. “Hey, Buddy!” Josh greeted, grinning and hugging him tightly.
Nate pushed himself to his feet. By the way
his jaw was set I could tell he would never like Josh.
I winced, praying they wouldn
’
t show DJ there was animosity between them.
“Nate, you remember Josh, right? Josh, my boyfriend, Nate,” I said weakly,
waving my hand at them both in turn.
Nate nodded, his gorgeous blue eyes locked
onto Josh. They seemed to be having some kind of unspoken conversation. Part of
me wanted to know what was going on, but another part of me wanted to stay the
heck out of it. I had enough to worry about without two testosterone fuelled
males being thrown into the mix!
“Yeah. Hi, Josh, how are you?” Nate asked,
his voice tight and controlled.
I smiled because he was making such an
effort; I knew it was only for mine and DJ
’
s benefit. It was probably incredibly hard for him to have his
girlfriend
’
s ex thrust in his face
all the time – I wasn
’
t sure how
well I would cope being confronted with one of his ex
’
s all the time.
Josh made a sort of snorting sound, so I
turned to him, seeing that he was sneering at Nate distastefully. “I
’
m great,” Josh muttered, not bothering to
return the pleasantries. He turned to look at DJ, who was still in his arms,
thankfully blissfully unaware of the tension that seemed to be hanging in the
air around us. “You ready to go, Buddy?”
DJ looked at me, as if asking if he was
ready to go. I nodded. “Go to the bathroom before you go, Baby, so you don
’
t have to get Daddy to stop. Then get your bag
off your bed, okay?” I forced a smile. I hated to see him leave and missed him
like crazy, but I didn
’
t want him
to know that otherwise he would probably get upset thinking that I was upset.
Josh put him down, giving him a little push
towards his bedroom. “Do as Momma says then.”
As soon as DJ was out of earshot, I turned
to Josh. “Did you bring that money for the ticket?” I asked quietly.
He frowned and shook his head. “
Bunny, I can
’
t. Things are
tight at the moment; I haven
’
t got
it.”
My heart sank.
“But you promised you
’
d pay for it. I already told him he could go. You promised you
’
d sort this out.” I closed my eyes, fighting
the urge to cry.
“Rosie, I haven
’
t got it, my car broke down in the week and I had to pay out to get
it fixed. If I had the money, I
’
d
give it to you. How much was it anyway?” he asked, looking at me
apologetically.
“Fifty bucks. Josh, please, I already told
Maria he could go, I think she
’
s
getting the tickets on Monday. Please, please can you get it? He
’
s so excited, don
’
t do this to him, please,” I begged helplessly. There was no way I
could pay for it; I could barely afford to live as it was. Josh had promised he
would pay for DJ
’
s ticket to go
and see Disney on Ice with a friend of mine and her children.
“What happened to the hundred I gave you
like two weeks ago?” he asked, frowning.
“I spent it already,” I answered.
He frowned. “On what?”
“He needed new shoes and a jacket.”
“You spent a hundred bucks on new shoes and
a jacket?” he snapped, looking at me like I was stupid.
I frowned angrily. “No, I spent
twenty-three bucks on shoes and a jacket that were on sale, and the rest of it
went towards childcare, which, by the way, barely even covered me for a week.
So don
’
t you dare start with all
that wasting money shit. Do you have any idea how much having a child costs?” I
asked angrily, whilst still trying to keep my voice down in case DJ heard.
“Costs a fucking bomb that
’
s how much it costs. That
’
s why I never have any money,” he answered, frowning angrily at me.
I looked at him in shock. “You think
you
have it hard? You pay me a hundred and fifty bucks a month, Josh, that doesn
’
t even cover his food for goodness
’
sake!” He had no idea how hard it was being
single parent, working as hard as you can but still knowing that your wages
weren
’
t enough to cover the bills
each month. I hated to rely on people for anything, especially Josh, but I didn
’
t have a choice. If he didn
’
t pay my child support then DJ and I wouldn
’
t be able to get through the month – that was
why I put up with his worthless ass.
He sighed and shook his head. “Let
’
s not get into this argument in front of your
boy toy.” He jutted his chin in Nate
’
s direction, sneering lightly. I glanced over at Nate apologetically,
but he wasn
’
t looking at me, he
was looking at Josh angrily, his whole body tense.
Wow, if looks could kill…
I turned my attention back to Josh. “Fine,
but can you get me the money for the ticket? Ask your mom for a loan or
something?” I pleaded.
“
I don’
t think I
’
ll be able
to, Bunny.” He didn
’
t even look
that bothered about it, and I felt my anger rise in my throat.
“You fucking asshole! You promised me you
’
d pay for it. The
only
reason I agreed
that he could go was because you told me it wasn
’
t a problem. He already knows about it now, Josh! Why did you let me
tell him and build his hopes up if you knew you wouldn
’
t be able to come through on it? Do you know how much he
’
s looking forward to it?” I cried angrily. My
hand clenched. I wanted to punch him in his sorry face.
“I didn
’
t know I wouldn
’
t be
able to afford it when I agreed. He
’
ll get over it; it
’
s
not the end of the world, it
’
s
just a show.” He rolled his eyes.
“Not to him it
’
s not! You
’
re a waste
of space father sometimes, Josh, you really are,” I hissed, swiping at the tear
that fell down my face.
“Oh get a grip, Rosie. The boy will live
without seeing Disney on fucking Ice.” He threw his hands up in exasperation.
DJ skipped back into the room, smiling,
with his bag on his back. I wiped my face quickly before picking him up and
putting on a fake smile so he wouldn
’
t know anything was wrong.
“Momma, why are you crying?” he asked,
looking at me worriedly.
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I
’
m being silly. I
’
m just gonna miss you, that
’
s all,” I lied smoothly.
He hugged me tightly. “
I won
’
t go then, if you
’
re sad
.
”
I smiled at how sweet he was, and rubbed
his back. “I
’
m fine, DJ. You have
to go because otherwise your daddy will be upset. And Nanna Juliet, she
’
ll be sad too if you don
’
t go there to see her.”
He smiled but still looked a little
worried. “Yeah, I know. I
’
ll bring
you back a cake from Nanna Juliet
’
s,”
he said before turning to Josh. “We will be baking cakes at Nanna
’
s, won
’
t
we, Daddy?
”
Josh nodded. “Probably, Buddy, she loves to
bake cakes with you.”
I kissed his cheek and set him down on his
feet, avoiding eye contact with Josh so I wouldn
’
t get angry and upset again. DJ smiled up at Nate. “I
’
ll bring you a cake back too if you want.
Nanna Juliet makes the bestest cakes ever,” he enthused.
Nate laughed, smiling warmly at him. “Sure,
Kid, sounds great.”
I cleared my throat, willing my voice to
come out normal and not like a hysterical banshee like I actually felt like.
“Okay, so I
’
ve put a change of
clothes and stuff in his bag for tomorrow, spare pyjamas just in case. Woody
’
s in there too. You
’
ll be feeding him before you bring him home tomorrow?” I asked, finally
making eye cntact with Josh, feeling anger bubble up again at the sight of his
stupid face.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay, great. Just remember he goes to bed
for seven thirty so if he could be home before then,” I rambled, biting my lip,
thinking everything through to make sure I hadn
’
t forgotten anything.
“Yep, home before seven thirty. We can
manage that, right, Buddy?” He held a hand down to DJ, who took it, grinning
and nodding along with his dad.
I sighed. I hated this goodbye part, even
if it was only for a day. “Okay, well bye, Baby. Have a great time with Daddy,
don
’
t eat too much candy and go
straight to sleep, no fooling around tonight. Love you.” I bent down and hugged
DJ tightly, kissing his cheek again.