Enlightened (Red Flags) (10 page)

"Hey, you have hot men coming after you left and right," Amanda said, and I froze at the thought of Jason coming to my place of work.

"Who is it?"  I asked sheepishly, deathly afraid of the name she was ready to give.

"Chase Donahue,"

I exhaled the breath that had gotten stuck inside my body.

"Oh, let him in."  I tidied up my desk to make room for Chase.  Of the three men currently occupying space in my life, Chase was the most welcome.  A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door.  Amanda quickly opened and walked Chase inside.

"Sweet office, Cara.  Look at you, working woman," he said jokingly, setting down two white plastic bags full of Chinese take-out.

"I could say the same for you, working man.  You look nice--all dressed up.  How's your first day going?" 

Chase had started his internship at Bradley and while I didn't want to ask about Jason, I was interested in knowing how his first day was going.

"It's going well.  There's a shit ton to learn, but I'm excited about it."

I nodded his way and smiled, digging into the bags.  He looked at me quizzically, and when I didn't question his look he blurted out, "No, I haven't seen Jason."

I stopped rummaging through the bags and looked at him, unsure of what to say.  I went with as simple of an answer that I could think of. 

"I wasn't going to ask about him."

"Well, I thought I'd just throw out there that I haven't seen him," he said, removing white foam containers from the bags and opening them while handing me a pair of chopsticks.  "Anyway, I got a text from Chelsea this morning about an engagement party on Saturday. I'm sure you're going.  Wanna be my date?" 

I stopped chewing the piece of orange chicken I had snuck out of the container for a second.  After regaining my composure, I swallowed my food and quickly answered, "I'll be there, but I don't want to go with any dates."

Chase flushed red and awkwardly laughed.  I didn't want to hurt his feelings or embarrass him, but I was adamant about not dating anyone. 

"You know what I mean, Cara.  Would you like to go with me, as friends?" he quickly recovered.

"I'd rather just go alone, but you can save a dance for me." I replied, trying my hardest to smile us out of complete and utter awkwardness.

"Sounds like a plan."

We spent the rest of the time talking about work and how we were both so excited to be embarking on new chapters in our lives.  I didn't mention Damian, since he was just another headache to deal with. 

<>

My day ended with an afternoon meeting with William, finance, print, and of course, Damian.  He didn't pay much attention to what was presented. I guess he figured that was what Amanda and her note taking skills were for.  He shot me quick glances and devilish smiles, which made me blush and smile, as I tried to hide it from William, who was ever so focused.

Walking out of William's office, Damian followed me into mine, claiming I had left some important papers. I knew he could have easily left them with Amanda.  He handed me the papers, stopping to unleash those greenish-grey eyes into mine.  Chills ran through me and I smiled for a minute, but quickly regained my composure and thanked him for the papers.

"So when will I get the pleasure of taking you out?" he asked, never taking his eyes off mine.

I swallowed and tried to think of something to say, but all I could come up with was, "We work together."

He laughed a bit and added, "I know.  And as much I enjoy seeing you at work, I'd like to see you unwind."  He smiled again and this time I returned it.

"I just think it's best if we keep this a working relationship.  I don't want anything to destroy this account.  Mr. Rolston is working hard on this."  I'd deliberately called him Mr. Rolston instead of William to keep the formality of the conversation in focus.

"We'll see.  Sometimes mixing business with pleasure is good for business."  He winked, then turned and gracefully walked towards the door.  Stopping at the door he said, "Have a wonderful afternoon, Miss. Pinkston," then left my office.

I slumped down in my chair and picked up the papers that he had used as his excuse to follow me to my office.  They were PowerPoint notes from the finance presenters, which were easily accessible from any of our computers.  I just wanted to go home and soak in a long, hot bath.  The stress of the day was weighing on me and it was only Monday.

<>

A long, hot, bubble bath was all I could think about as I sat in my office chair after Damian's exit, so as soon I'd arrived home, I made it happen.  I lay with my eyes closed, my body completely submerged in the water; listening to Kenny G romantically blow the saxophone into my ears.  The stress of the day was slowly washing away the longer I stayed in the bath tub.  Unfortunately, hurricane Chelsea came barreling into my bathroom and my relaxing moment of peace abruptly ended.

"So tell me all about work?  How's it going?  How is that sexy ass boss of yours?"  She was asking questions a mile a minute, and I opened my eyes to find her with a goofy grin spread across her face.

"It's fine, and my boss is just that, hot and all business.  There is nothing there, Chels." 

She eyed me curiously, trying to see if I was hiding information and not wanting to divulge any extras. I didn't want to go into detail, but there really was nothing going on with William.

"Why are you soaking in a bath on a Monday night?  This looks like a stress reliever to me."

I gave her an annoyed look, hoping she would take the hint.  But of course, being Chelsea, her look of inquisition only deepened.

"I didn't get to tell you about my new business partner did I?" I asked, obviously piquing her interest.  She shook her head and moved closer, causing me to sink even further into the tub.  "Well at the team meet and greet, I got to meet the owner of the team.  His name is Damian Rossi. He's young, hot as hell, and overly cocky."

"Ooohhh, an Italian stallion.  Go on."

I chuckled a bit at her terminology, but proceeded with my story.  "He basically undressed me with his eyes at the meet and greet.  I had no clue who he was until William…"

"Hot as hell boss… okay, go on."

I rolled my eyes but continued on with my story.  "Yes, until
William
pulled us together to introduce us to the team and the rest of the attendees.  Then and only then did I find out who he was.  He came into my office today after our meeting to deliver some freakin' papers that my assistant, Amanda, could have easily printed out for me."  I adjusted myself in the tub.  "He told me he wants to mix business with pleasure.  I told him that wouldn't be a good idea." 

"Damn, Cara.  You've got a salacious love square going on, and somehow it's stressing you out?  Weirdo."

"Love square?" I asked.

"Yes, love square.  You, Hot Ass Boss, Italian Stallion, and Chase.  You've got three sinfully good-looking men pining after you and you're stressed?  You're an idiot, Cara." 

"I don't have a love square.  My boss is not part of my train wreck love life and neither are the other two for that matter."  "Oh yes, let's not forget the part where Chase stopped by today and asked me to be his date to your engagement party this weekend."

"He did?  Wow!  Way to go Chase."

"No, not way to go Chase.  I don't want to be with him like that and I keep trying to tell him, but your ass keeps encouraging him."

"Hey, I didn't tell him to ask you out.  He took that upon himself."

"Well it's not happening.  I'm not going down that road when I haven't figured out the most pressing thing in my life."

Chelsea's eyes narrowed as her brows furrowed.  Her lips pursed together and her altogether carefree demeanor quickly melted away.  "You’re talking about Jason aren't you?"  What is there to figure out?  He's in the past, Cara.  Move on." 

"I want to move on, but I can't right now."

"What are you saying?" she asked, anger radiating from her voice.

"I'm not saying anything.  I don't think I'm ready to face Jason, but I do love him, Chels, and I'm not ready to move on with anyone else." 

"Did you hear that his house is up for sale?  Looks like he's packing it up and leaving town?  Have you talked to him?" she asked.  She almost looked happy that there was the prospect of him leaving.

"Yes, I've heard about the house going up for sale.  No, I have not talked to him," I answered, straight to the point. 

"Well it's better that way, trust me."

I looked at her and a sudden burst of anger lodged into me. I sat up, careful to place my towel over my breasts.

"Chelsea, you have no damn clue what's better for me.  You're still with the person that you fell in love with, but I'm not.  You may not like Jason, and I may not like him very much either, but he is the first guy I fell in love with, and it hurts like hell not being with him.  So please, lay off with the advice about what I need and don't need because you have no idea what it's like being in love with someone that you can't be with."

Shock and utter disbelief stained Chelsea's face.  I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I openly and freely admitted that I was still in love with Jason, or the fact that I had come out and said it in a direct manner, that put her in her place.  Either one must have done the trick because a deafening silence fell over the bathroom and we both sat, staring at one another, not knowing what to say.  She finally broke the silence with a heart-felt apology.

"I'm sorry, Cara. I really am.  I never stopped to take those feelings into consideration.  I just want to see you loved and happy, and I don't think you got that from Jason."

"I know, but that doesn't change the way that I feel."

"You are absolutely right.  Maybe you should talk to him, clear the air, your conscience, and get some closure.  I hate to see you moping around over a guy that you won't be with." 

I winced at her words.  I wanted more than anything to call Jason and hear his voice, but the idea was like nails on a chalkboard for me, and I quickly flushed the thought from my mind. 

"You have some nice guys waiting for you, Cara.  You shouldn't be wasting time on a guy who has more baggage than my parents on a trip to the Caribbean."

I laughed a little at the image of Chelsea's parents and all of their baggage. 

"I know what you mean Chels.  Truthfully though, I don't think the best way for me to get over Jason is to move on to another guy.  I'm done jumping in head first.  It got me burned-- badly."

She nodded her head and stood to exit the bathroom.  As she walked towards the door she turned and said, "You forgot the wine, asshole." 

We both laughed and she left the bathroom, closing the door gently behind her.

It felt good breaking through the wall and finally saying what I had been feeling for so long.  Normally, Chelsea intimidated me, but after hearing advice that she couldn't relate to over and over again, I had to relieve the aching burn that was settling in my chest.  She was shocked by my words as well as my tone, but she got the hint, and that was all that mattered.

Chapter 9

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went without anything out of the ordinary taking place.  The Tide had a big photo shoot coming up, and William had told me that I would be working with Damian since he had more pressing team business to take care of.  The thought made me a little leery, since Damian had made no qualms about his desire to date me.  Of course, he was strikingly good-looking, but he was a work associate, and I enjoyed my job, so mixing the two was a definite no-go for me.

When I awoke Thursday morning, I felt a twinge of sickness in my stomach.  Was I coming down with something?  I shook off the thoughts and went about my normal morning routine, making sure to eat breakfast, in hopes of quelling the queasiness that had settled there.  When I got to my office building, I stopped in the lobby to drink from the water fountain. I stood upright to find Sunny staring at me, flashing a smug grin in my direction.  I didn't feed it, but simply turned and walked to the elevators.

When I made my way up to the fifth floor, I stepped out to find Amanda walking by with two mugs of coffee in her hands.  She looked at me and smiled, motioning for me to follow her into my office.  She sat the mugs down on my desk and as I walked in behind her she said, "You have a visitor."

My mind spun for a minute as I tried to think of who could be there to see me.  I didn't want it to be Jason and the twinge in my stomach that I had felt earlier that morning was rumbling even harder now. 

"Is it a guy?" I asked cringing as I awaited her answer.

"No, it’s a female," she said, looking at me curiously.

I let out a deep sigh, but then my stomach rolled again at the thought of Stacey being in my office to see me.  I hadn't thought of this scenario happening.  In fact, next to the hospital scene, this situation would have been my worst nightmare.

"Did she give a name?" I asked, apprehension laced in my voice.

"Heather." 

I let out another deep sigh. "Did she say why she needed to see me?" 

"No," Amanda said. "She just said she was here to see Cara Pinkston.  I told her you weren't in yet and that I would have to clear it through you first, anyway.  Should I let her in?" 

I thought hard for a second about what could possibly bring Heather all the way to San Diego, then finally told Amanda to let her in.  I took my seat behind my desk and took a long swig of the steaming hot coffee, hoping it would relax me a little.  A few minutes later, Amanda walked Heather into my office.

She looked exactly as I had remembered her--beautifully blonde with piercing blue eyes.  She smiled warmly and while I tried my best to return it, thoughts of the night of the gala spilled in my head.  Jason had been in love with Heather, and a lot of why he'd wanted me was because I was a reminder of her.  The thought made me sick, but I maintained my poise and welcomed her into my office.

"Hi, Cara.  It's nice to see you," she said, in her innocently sweet southern drawl as she walked over to give me a hug.  "Wow! Your hair looks amazing."