Eraser Platinum (11 page)

“Do you wish to know if my intentions are honorable, Lincoln?” she asked seriously.  “I can assure you that I love your son and I will do everything within my power to never hurt him.”

“Very well.”  Lincoln nodded and gave her a smirk, and then continued walking toward the house like it hadn’t even happened. 

“That’s it?” she asked, rushing to catch up to him.  “Interrogation over, just like that?”

“You passed with flying colors, Mackenzie.” He winked at her.  “Carol already gave me the results.”  Then he started laughing at, what she guessed was, a shocked and confused look on her face.  Mackenzie couldn’t help but shake her head in disbelief and let out a giggle of her own. He offered his arm for her to take and they walked back to the house in comfortable silence.

“Where have you two been?” Carol asked when they went back inside.  “We were beginning to think you were lost.”  She turned her attention to Mackenzie.  “He didn’t bore you to death with history did he?”

“No, not at all.”  Mackenzie laughed.  She unlinked her arm from Lincoln’s and took her seat next to Nate, whose hand automatically went to rest on her thigh.  “I found it all fascinating actually.  Thank you, Lincoln.”

“The pleasure was all mine.”  Lincoln gave her a charming smile from across the table.  Then he turned to Nate.  “I’ve been thinking about that matter we were discussing earlier.  Get the deal done, son.  The sooner the better.”

“Thanks Dad,” Nate replied with a nod.  His smile turned breathtaking and the two men exchanged curious glances, but rather than trying to decipher what it meant, Mackenzie turned her attention to Carol.

“It’s beautiful here, Carol.  I can understand why you live here.  Do you think you’ll stay here long term or do you see yourselves moving back to the States?”  Mackenzie asked, taking a sandwich from the platter and placing it on the plate in front of her.  Nate’s fingers started tracing infinity symbols on her thigh and she smiled.

“I can’t see us moving back in the near future.  My boys don’t need me cramping their style, and now that Linc has removed himself from the business …” She rolled her eyes dramatically and Nate and Lincoln both laughed.

“Hey!  I built that business from the ground up.  So what if I have a hard time letting go?”  He shrugged.

Carol continued, “As I was saying, now that Lincoln has
retired
there’s not much holding us to the US right now.  But I’ll never say never.  If I were to get grandkids for instance, there’d be no holding me back.”

Nate felt Mackenzie tense under his hand.  “Ah Mom…” he spoke hesitantly, “Mackenzie doesn’t want kids.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear.  I don’t mean to put the pressure on.  There’s plenty of time for that.”

“No Mom, I mean she-”

“Nate.”  Mackenzie cut him off, giving his hand a squeeze under the table.  She could see the disappointment in Carol’s eyes and she didn’t want to upset her further.  Turning to Nate she could see the longing in his expression, too.  She started to wonder if she could ever truly be what he wanted.

“Stop Nate, you’re making Mackenzie uncomfortable,” Carol said, giving Mackenzie a wink.  “These things have a way of working out in their own time and like I said, never say never.”  That last part was meant solely for Mackenzie, she knew by the way Carol focused on her.  Strangely, it didn’t make Mackenzie feel uncomfortable but rather comforted instead.

As conversation went on around the dinner table Nate noticed Mackenzie getting quieter and quieter.  During a lull in the conversation he leaned to her ear and whispered, “You alright?”

She nodded and gave him one of her beautiful smiles.  It wasn’t forced, she was happy, just a little lost to her thoughts he guessed.

Mackenzie listened intently to the conversation.  She loved seeing the three of them joke and laugh – so different to the non-family she grew up in.  Tom was included in the topic of conversation, too, and even though he wasn’t with them she could feel his presence in the room.  The way they interacted was heart-warming and the way Carol loved her boys … to be able to love another human being, one you helped create, to love them so unconditionally … it was a pretty amazing thing to witness.

They’d spent the day relaxing at the house and decided to turn in early so they could make the most out of the next day sight-seeing.  Nate knew something was playing on Mackenzie’s mind though and had desperately been wanting the time alone to find out what. He shut the bedroom door and then sat beside her on the edge of the bed.

“We need to talk,” she said.  “I don’t, I don’t think …” She blinked up at him, trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes.  “I’m sorry.”  She couldn’t stop the sob from leaving her mouth.

“What is it?”

“Is having kids something you really want?”  Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut tight.  She felt Nate’s hands on her shoulders and opened her eyes.  A tear slid down her cheek.

“I’m sorry if you feel pressured by my mom.”

“It’s not that.  Your mom is great.  You’re parents are terrific, you’re so lucky to have them.  I just … I feel inadequate.  I’m not sure I can be like Carol.”

“Mackenzie, I don’t want you to be like my mom,” he snickered.

“I know.  But I don’t know if I can do that, be a mom, and I don’t want you to miss out because of me.”

“I want you more.”  He wiped her wet cheek.  “I don’t have to have kids.  I want to be with you more than I want that.” He got to his feet and tugged on her hand.  “Come here.”  He folded his arms around her and squeezed.  Mackenzie sniffed against his chest while he rubbed her gently on the back.  He relaxed his arms and nudged her chin so she looked up at him. “Mackenzie you are
all
I will ever need.”

“Nate, I can’t expect you to give up fatherhood for me.  I can’t ask you to sacrifice your happiness like that.”

“You
are
my happiness.  I don’t want to live my life without you.” 

“I feel the same.”

“Marry me then.”

“Nate,” she sighed, “you really need to stop with that.”

She buried her head in his chest to avoid the disappointment she knew would be in his eyes.  She didn’t know how to fix things.  She wanted to give Nate what he needed.  She wanted to be
it
for him.  She’d also like to think she wouldn’t turn out like her mother, despite her upbringing, but it was kind of hard to feel confident about that.  Not when all day she’d seen what a family was supposed to look like.  She felt so out of her depth.

The next few days were spent seeing the sights.  They sped through the countryside in the Porsche, with the wind in their hair and the sun on their faces.  They took a trip into the city where Mackenzie got to experience the London Eye and visit Buckingham Palace.  They shopped at the famous Camden Markets and took long walks in the areas surrounding the ‘cottage’, spending time as a couple alone, as well as a family with Lincoln and Carol.

It was surreal to Mackenzie.  She loved London and she loved where the Pierce’s lived even more.  Lincoln and Carol were such a charming couple and they treated her like she was part of their family.  It was way more than she ever could have hoped for.  She was walking with Carol one afternoon, through the fields near their home, when it suddenly occurred to her that she had never felt so much a part of something – a family.

“I want to say thank you, Mackenzie,” Carol said, catching Mackenzie off-guard.  “Thank you for forgiving my son for his mistakes.”  Mackenzie must have had a look of confusion on her face because she added, “He knows what he did was a huge invasion of your privacy.”

It took Mackenzie a moment to realize what Carol was talking about.  “He told you about that?” she asked in shock.

“Not at first.  He was so distraught when you were in the hospital, and when I couldn’t grasp his reason for guilt I pressured him for answers.  He was ashamed and didn’t want me to know, mind you, but I have my ways and he eventually came clean.”  She gave Mackenzie a wicked smile.  “My boys both tend to think they can keep things from their mother.  Not to say Nate’s dishonest, not at all, we don’t keep secrets in this family, but sometimes he thinks omission will keep me from finding out.  For instance, he believes I don’t know of the terrible ways he’s treated women in the past.  Oh, I know he’s used them for s.e.x.  I’m not blind.  But I have a theory on that.”

“You do?”

“You.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My theory is
you
.  All these years he was waiting for you.  Oh, he played the part with women, but he never let them in.  In his heart, he was waiting for the ever elusive love.  The instant he saw you he knew.  Unfortunately for my boy, he just didn’t know what to do with that information.  His past told him to be cautious and so he did stupid things like getting a background check done.  He was scared of rejection, of being used, and of you not reciprocating his feelings.  He needed to prove to himself that you were trustworthy.  I think he also wanted to prove to you that you both had common goals in life.”  Carol took hold of her hand.  “In his heart he knew you were the one. I’m so glad he found you.  I just needed to tell you that.  I need you to know that this past week, getting to know you, it’s meant a lot to me.”  Mackenzie could see the tears building in Carol’s eyes and it made her own begin to form.  “I often wondered if he would ever allow someone in and you, you’re
it
for him.  You make him so happy.”

Mackenzie looked at their joined hands and felt the need to be completely honest.  Keeping her head down, she said quietly, “I’d like to think that were true, but I’m not sure I am the one for him.”  She cleared her throat.  “We don’t have the same life plans.”

“Oh rubbish!  Life cannot be planned.  No matter how much the Pierce men wish it to be true, they cannot plan and control everything, they’re just muddling through like the rest of us.  It’s up to us Pierce women to let them think they’re winning, even if they’re not.”

Mackenzie’s heart felt lighter at the sentiment that Carol lumped them both together in that way – Pierce women.  She saw the glint in Carol’s bright blue eyes.  It was obvious to Mackenzie at that point that Carol was the matriarch here.  The Pierce men may believe they were in control but Carol was the mastermind pulling the strings.

“I’m happy you see the real Nate underneath all that garbage.” She gave Mackenzie a huge smile.  “Mackenzie, you may not have
planned
on marriage and kids but plans can always change.  And stubbornness can allow you to miss out on what’s right in front of you.”  She looked at her pointedly.  She let go of Mackenzie’s hand and continued to walk.

“She must have done a real number on him,” Mackenzie mused.

“Who?”

“Whoever it was that broke his heart and made him so guarded to begin with.”

“Oh no dear,” she said with a laugh.  “He never let anyone get close enough to his heart for that to happen.  When he was younger, late teens, early twenties, there were a couple of girls that he thought meant something to him, but he saw them for what they were before they even came close to love.  Slight infatuation maybe, but not for long.  You are the only woman he’s ever let into his heart.  I promise you that.”

The week had gone too fast.  It was their last night and Nate was getting dressed to go to dinner with the folks when Carol knocked at the bedroom door.

“Nate?  Can I talk to you for a moment?”

He opened the door in his suit pants.  “Sure.”

Carol had a serious look on her face and it made Nate feel the need for privacy.  There was something important on his mother’s mind.  He ushered her into the room.

“What is it Mom?” he asked, putting his arms into the sleeves of his shirt.

“I want to give you something.”  Stepping toward her son, she said, “I’ve been saving this for you.”

He held out his hand, allowing her to place his grandmother’s ring in his palm.  He’d always known there would come a day when she would give him this.

“You’ve found the woman this needs to be passed to.  I know it’s not much.  It’s not some big, fancy rock that girls these days wear, but it was my mother’s and it would mean a lot…”

Mackenzie was walking down the hallway when she heard voices coming from their room.  The door sat slightly ajar and she saw Nate and Carol inside.  She continued on but paused when she heard Nate’s words.

“It’s perfect Mom.”  He turned the ring back and forth, the understated square diamond catching the light in the sunlit room.  “It’s Mack all over – elegant and beautiful.”  He looked into his mother’s loving eyes and swallowed before continuing, “But Mackenzie doesn’t want to be my wife.”  Saying it aloud made the rejection of his numerous proposals hurt like they were fresh wounds.  “I can’t take the ring.”  He tried to pass it back to her but Carol only closed her hand over his.

Ring? 
Mackenzie leaned against the wall outside the room, unable to stop herself from eavesdropping on their private conversation.  Her heart was racing.

“Whether she marries you or not, she’s the one for you, Nate.  She should have this ring if she’s going to be my daughter.”

“Mom-”

“I didn’t say daughter-
in-law
, Nate.”  She let go of his hand and sighed.  “You don’t need to be bound by law, you don’t need a marriage certificate to think of someone as family.  I can’t see that woman going anywhere.  Marriage is beside the point.  Look at Tom, if he found a lifelong partner but was unable to marry him because of stupid laws against gay marriage, do you think I’d love his partner any less?  Family is family, it comes in all shapes and sizes.  And love is love.  Mackenzie loves you with all of her heart.  I’ve already accepted her as my daughter and I’d like her to have my mother’s ring.  It’s simple.  So you hold onto it and give it to her at the time you deem appropriate.  It doesn’t have to be worn as an engagement ring.  Okay?”

Mackenzie couldn’t stand to listen to any more. 
Carol thinks of me as her daughter?  Worthy of a family heirloom?
  She wiped the tears from her eyes and quickly tip-toed away from the door and toward the staircase.

“Okay, Mom.”  Nate tucked the ring in his pants pocket and reached for his cigarettes.  He’d been smoking less and less but on occasions like this he needed that nicotine fix.  He lit it without a second thought.

“Nate, there’s no smoking in this house!” Carol admonished.

“Shit, sorry.”  He quickly walked to the doors leading to the balcony and stepped outside.  It was still light out, the air warm, so it didn’t matter that he hadn’t yet done up his shirt.  He leaned over the side of the balcony and spotted Mackenzie walking in the garden.  She was wearing a figure-hugging, short white dress that he couldn’t wait to take off her later. 
She’s mine. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her.

Carol came to his side and followed his eye line.  “Looks like she’s ready to go to dinner.  Hurry up and get ready will you?  You’re holding us all up.”  She laughed.

“Hey, that’s not my fault.  You’re the one that came in here and got all heavy on me.”  He patted his pants pocket.  “Thank you for this.  It means a lot that you approve of my choices.”

“How could I not?  I love her already and I can see why you do.  I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“I’m more than happy, Mom.  Mackenzie means everything to me.”

“I know and that’s why you’ll fight to keep her.”  She stepped closer and put her hand on his cheek.  “Besides, the two of you would make excellent grandbabies.”

“You’re not going to give up on that are you, Mom?”

“Your father isn’t the only one who’s mastered the skills of negotiation and persuasion, Nate.”

Mackenzie looked up to the balcony and saw Carol pat Nate on the cheek.  He was laughing.  She smiled up at them.  She didn’t realize how much she had been craving acceptance, how much she’d needed to have a family in her life …  A warm, tingly feeling spread throughout her body just knowing that they
were
her family.

Nate looked relaxed and happy, seated on the armchair in the den.  His jacket and tie from dinner were gone, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up.  Mackenzie sat on his lap, draping her arms around his neck.  He stared at her for a long while, one hand curved behind her back and the other gently rubbing his favorite pattern on her bare calf.  She could stare at him like that for hours, losing herself in those dark eyes.

“Kiss me.”  It was a soft demand she couldn’t ignore.

She kissed him gently, coaxing his lips apart.  As their movements quickly escalated into something more, she felt his hand move from her calf, over her knee and up her thigh.  When he reached between her legs she squeezed them together to stop him.  He pried them apart anyhow.

“Nate, no,” she whispered.  It barely seemed like an objection, particularly when her body arched against him and her legs fell open.