Chapter 20
Seeing A Change And Understanding
Captain Richins had been tutoring Marie for over a month and a
half, and Louise had some concerns. She was impatiently pacing back and
forth in the throne room. She had to know whether what she was hearing
was true or not. It seemed like forever to her until Lord High Chamberlain
entered and bowed.
"You sent for me, Your Majesty?"
She signaled him to rise, and she took her seat. "Matthew, I just
received a report from the royal physician, and he is concerned about the
princess."
Matthew looked troubled. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
"He says the princess is acting very peculiar."
"Did he say in what way?"
"He said she was..."
Louise paused. Suddenly what she was about to say sounded really
stupid, even to herself.
Matthew looked right at her. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
Louise threw up her hands and continued. "He said she was saying
please and thank you to everyone, including the servants."
Lord High Chamberlain smiled. "And this is a problem?"
Louise spoke hesitantly. "Well, no. But he also says she is calling
them by name, too."
"And the court physician does not like this?"
Louise let out an exasperated sigh. "It's not that. It's just the staff is
not used to it, and they are wondering if something is wrong. Frankly, they
are a bit unnerved by it."
Matthew started to laugh. "I can assure you, Your Majesty, that
nothing is wrong. I was perplexed by it at first, and I talked to the young
captain, who explained that he is having the princess practice an experiment
of kindness and courtesy."
Louise breathed a sigh of relief and excitement. "How utterly
amazing!"
"I beg your pardon, Your Majesty?"
"It's just that I have tried to teach her some of these things all of her
life, and she has rebelled against it." Louise let down all royal demeanor
and just became friendly. "And you know what else, Matthew?"
"What, Your Majesty?"
"We will be discussing something, and she will pop off with some
off-the-wall quote - many I have never heard of."
"Like what?"
Louise furled her brow. "For example, we were sitting at dinner the
other night with my old Aunt Eldna, the Duchess of Sedville. She was
talking about her ailments again, and she can be, what is the word I'm
looking for?"
"May I suggest 'boring', Your Majesty?"
Louise smiled. "That wasn't quite the word I was looking for, but it
will do. Anyway, she was going on and on, and suddenly, Marie blurted
out, 'Homer said, it is tedious to tell again tales already plainly told.' Why, I
thought Aunt Eldna was going to die right there on the spot."
Matthew laughed. "The princess does have a tendency to speak her
mind."
Louise shook her head. "But a quote like that, and from Homer!"
"The young captain loves those kinds of things."
Louise became very quiet and almost preoccupied in her thoughts,
and spoke as if to herself. "It is unbelievable that his words and feelings
could penetrate her heart in this short time when none of ours could in
years." She then turned to Matthew. "How does he do it?"
"I will have to admit that his teaching methods are somewhat
unorthodox. Sometimes he treats her more like one of his men than a
princess, but the funny thing is, she seems to respond to it. And he is the
first tutor that has stuck it out more than a month."
Louise seemed absorbed in her thoughts for some time. Finally, she
looked back up at Matthew. "Have you noticed any kind of, how shall I say,
affection between them?"
Matthew shook his head. "If you are referring to any romantic
inclinations, I cannot say I have. However, she throws books at him less
often than she did at first, and she doesn't kick at him quite as much,
though, due to some of his training, I think that when she does, she finds her
mark more. To be honest, their feelings toward each other are hard to figure
out. If they have any at all, they seem to keep them to themselves, or
perhaps, there are none. I can not tell. In some ways, it is almost as if the
captain sees her more like a man."
"With the way she dresses, it is no wonder. Matthew, has the
captain ever broached with Marie the subject of her wearing a dress?"
"Not that I know of, Your Majesty."
"Do you think we should talk to him about that?
Matthew stood quietly for a moment, pondering. When he spoke, he
seemed to be considering things carefully. "Your Majesty, when I trained
for the military, we were taught to pick our battles carefully. One never
attacks an enemy at their strongest point if it can be avoided. Perhaps the
young captain sees no need to attack this front, as we have, for that is one
place where the princess seems to have her strongest defenses."
"Then what should we do?" the queen asked. "Time is growing
short."
"Sometimes when the perimeters around the strongest defenses fall,
the major stronghold simply becomes less important, and, eventually, is
surrendered. I would suggest we leave it in his hands. He has made more
progress already than I ever imagined possible."
Louise, too, had to admit that was true. She leaned back and looked
at the ceiling, contemplating what to do. She was desperate to know if there
were any feelings between them. She turned back to him. "Matthew, I
would have a word with my daughter, alone. Would you have her sent in?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Matthew left to summon the princess. Louise took this moment to
figure out what she could say. For so many years now they had seemed at
odds. No matter what she said, Marie seemed to take it in the worst light
possible. Their conversations had almost inevitably turned into anger and
shouting. She hoped and prayed, somehow, there could be a respite from
the torturous feelings they seemed to put each other through. She carefully
considered her words.
After a short time, Marie entered and bowed. "You wanted to see
me, Mother?"
Marie's voice was soft and kind, and almost took Louise by surprise.
Before, she had come in so full of anger and spite - defensive. Louise
smiled at the pleasantness of Marie's behavior. "Yes, Marie. Please have a
seat." Marie plopped down on the steps in a very unladylike manner as
Louise continued. "Marie, sometimes, as I have raised you, I have not
always made the best decisions. It has been hard to be both a queen and a
mother. We have not always seen eye to eye on everything, but I have
always had your welfare in mind. As you know, over a month ago, I asked
the captain of the guard to tutor you."
Marie nodded. Louise searched for the right words. She wanted to
see if Marie had any feelings for him, without coming right out and saying
it. An idea came to her. "What if I had him, uh..., maybe be your escort to
your Princess Ball?"
Marie smiled excitedly. "Oh, yes, Mother!"
Instantly Marie blushed at her outburst. Louise was taken aback by
it as well, and stammered for a moment. "Uh,... right. So you find him
handsome?"
Marie looked away. Louise thought her daughter was trying to hide
her blushing face and act as if the thought had never occurred to her, though
Louise could see it had. Marie spoke quietly and subdued, as she shrugged.
"I suppose."
Louise could feel a little exasperation building in her heart. It
seemed Marie built walls around herself that were so hard to penetrate.
Louise desperately wanted to know what was going through her daughter's
mind. She finally decided to just come out and say it. "Marie, help me out
here. I'm trying to find out how it is going. What is he like?"
Marie stood and put her hands on her hips and looked directly at her
mother. "He is an arrogant, self-centered know-it-all."
Louise could read in Marie's eyes the truth about the respect she had
for him, but she would try to not to cut through Marie's charade; at least
they were talking. Louise just smiled. "I see. And what has he taught
you?"
"Just this last week he had me experiment being polite to servants."
"And how has that worked out?" Louise asked.
Louise saw a seriousness cross Marie's countenance - one that she
wasn't used to - as if Marie was thinking deeply. Marie wrinkled her brow
as she spoke. "Actually, it is the strangest thing. At first everyone acted
like I had a disease or something. They would look at me strangely. But
after a couple of days, they would smile. Many of them used to slide into
the shadows when I passed, and now they will pause to say hello."
"Do you like that?"
Marie paused for a moment, as if looking deep into her heart. "Yes.
Yes, I do."
"Anything else you can tell me about the captain's teaching?" Louise
asked.
"He has no fear of disagreeing with me or striking me when we are
practicing."
Louise was taken aback by this and found anger swelling in her
heart. How dare a common soldier, or any man for that matter, strike her
daughter! Her voice was terse as she spoke. "Is that so?"
"Yes."
Louise felt the anger continue to swell in her. "Would you have me
remove him from being your tutor?"
Marie turned to Louise and, suddenly, everything about her changed.
It was as if the facade was ripped from her and her voice was pleading.
"Oh, please, Mother, no!"
Louise found her heart pitching within herself as it jumped from
emotion to emotion - her anger at the young captain switching to a loss of
understanding of her daughter's pleading. "But if he strikes you..."
Marie didn't even let her finish the sentence, speaking with concern
emanating from her voice. "Mother, how could I learn to defend myself if
he didn't?"
Louise sat back and spoke quietly. "I suppose that is so, but does he
respect you as a princess?"
"He does more than that, Mother. He respects me as a person. I
don't know how to explain it, but, for the first time I feel like a human being
and not some bizarre creature. I have someone I can talk to, even if we
argue. Every other tutor I had was afraid to offend me, afraid to touch me,
or hurt me, or acted like I was not real and was some breakable doll that
belonged on a shelf. He's not in the least afraid to disagree with me, or
even tell me he thinks I am wrong."
"And this pleases you?" Louise asked.
Marie smiled and had a faraway look in her eye. "Yes, very much. I
don't know why, but I like knowing that if I try to push him beyond a
certain point, he will push back. It makes me feel, I don't know how to say
it, safe or something."
Louise could feel a memory of another time filling her heart, and she
felt she was going to lose control of her emotions. She decided that it might
be good to end this conversation. She smiled and swallowed hard. "Thank
you, Marie. That will be all. If there are ever any concerns about it, you
feel free to let me know."
Marie nodded, rose, and bowed. "Thank you, Mother."
The door had no sooner shut behind Marie then Louise's emotions
overwhelmed her. She thought of what she had asked moments earlier.
"Does he respect you as a princess?" Then her mind reeled back to that day
her own father nearly had Alexander whipped and sent away because of
offense on the same question.
Since Alexander had died she had protected Marie from everything,
even the discipline she should have had and had sought for. All of these
years she was so concerned with being her daughter's friend that she forgot
to be her mother. She realized, now, that when Marie was being belligerent
and defiant, she was testing the fences, hoping to find a safe boundary.
When she found none, she pushed farther.
It seemed ridiculous to her that with her people, she would pass laws
to set boundaries and set punishments accordingly, but she was afraid to do
the same thing with her own daughter. She had even been willing to
withdraw the young captain as a tutor because of his stubbornness and
sternness with her, and yet that was the very thing that Marie was
responding to and appreciated in him. She didn't know if her daughter had
any romantic feelings for the young captain, but she did know she had great
respect for him.
As she thought of her own inadequacies, her heart ached for
Alexander. She would give anything if she could just have him back for a
moment. He was so calm and kind. He always knew what the right thing
was, and then did it. As her heart felt like it would burst within her, Lord
High Chamberlain entered. He could see her crying.
"Is something wrong, Your Majesty?"
She wiped away her tears. "Oh, Matthew, I have been such a fool.
And I miss Alexander so much, and I make so many mistakes with Marie he
never would have made."
He spoke kindly and comforting to her. "You can't totally blame
yourself, Your Majesty. There is no harder job in the world than being a
parent."
Louise nodded. She turned herself fully to look at Matthew. "I
know you have felt it a strange thing that I would appoint the young captain
to tutor my daughter. Yet I see in him a man so much like my Alexander.
And sometimes I feel as if Alexander has told me to do this, and had a hand
in all of it for his little Marie. Does that sound strange?"
"Actually, no, Your Majesty. I don't doubt things like that can
happen. Especially with a good man like Alexander."
Louise could feel the tears coming again. "Matthew, I know you are
a religious person, much more than I am. Do you believe I will ever see
Alexander and my father again?"