The funny thing was, she would seem disappointed when he didn't
respond in kind. It was as if she wanted him to get playful, too. Sometimes
he would forget himself and do something like pour some water on her and
then act like it was an accident. He was positive she knew better, because
she would grin and reciprocate. But he didn't dare do too much.
He would also find himself wanting to give her a friendly spat or a
swat on the arm, like he may have his sisters when they were growing up.
But his sisters were sisters and not other girls. That would be inappropriate
behavior with any girl that wasn't a sister, but especially with a princess.
The problem was, at times, he almost forgot she was a girl. With her hair
tucked up and her pageboy clothes, it could be hard not to think of her as a
boy, unless she tucked in her shirt so her female figure was highlighted.
She seldom tucked her shirt in, and he found himself having to constantly
remind himself that she was a young woman and to act consistently with
their positions.
He wondered why it seemed so natural to want to act playful around
her. After contemplating, he realized it was because he was beginning to
think of her more and more as a friend, and not just as the princess.
Marie had done well in her training, and he was proud of her. He
hoped being proud of her was appropriate. He had trained her and worked
hard with her. She had excelled at everything he had asked of her, and he
felt it was justifiable to be proud. He knew it was now time to move to the
next level. He had brought two medium size rocks and an extra sword, and
had them sitting by him on the table.
Marie flew into the room and announced herself as she always did.
"I'm here. What's our schedule for today?"
Jacob stood and bowed. He realized he had even been forgetting
this protocol at times, but she always seemed to bristle when he did it.
"Princess, today we are going to start with the sword."
She couldn't even contain her excitement. She ran to the wall and
pulled a sword from the family crest. "I'm ready!"
Jacob laughed and indicated for her to put the sword back. He
motioned to the one he had sitting on the table for her. "Patience, Your
Highness."
Marie returned the sword and turned back to him. "After two and a
half months of practicing with my feet and hands, I am about ready to
explode."
Jacob picked up the sword and handed it to her. "There is an old
Dutch proverb that says, 'A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel
of brains.'"
"
Are you inferring something?" she asked.
Jacob smiled at her impetuousness. "No, Your Highness. It's just
that patience is critical for defending oneself. You must watch for just the
right moment. Many a person has lost a fight by attacking too quickly."
Marie sounded disappointed as she tried to calm her exuberance.
"All right; show me what I need do."
Jacob had her stand in the sword fighting stance. He then had her
hold the sword in front of her, with her other arm back for balance. After he
had her positioned, he stood to face her and told her to block his strike. She
did, and then he blocked one of hers. After they had each taken a turn, he
asked her if she could see any difference. She said she couldn't, so they
repeated the routine.
After they each took another turn blocking each other's strike, he
had them stop again. "Did you see any difference?"
Marie thought just a moment. "Your block was faster."
"But why?"
Marie couldn't answer, so he suggested they do it again in slow
motion. They both blocked the other's strike, but moving much slower.
Jacob then had them stop again. "What did you see?"
Marie didn't even have to think about it this time. "I moved my
whole arm, and your arm barely moved."
Jacob nodded. "That's right. A flick of the wrist is much faster than
a whole arm movement. Now, you watch as I move my wrist and pretend I
am defending against an assailant."
Jacob then pretended to be defending against an imaginary assailant,
mostly moving his wrist, but once in a while pretending to strike at a second
or third opponent, moving his arm. He tried to keep his movement as clean
and precise as he could without an actual adversary to defend against.
Marie clapped. "That was good, Captain!"
Jacob felt his face get hot as she praised him, and his tongue would
hardly work. "Uh, yeah. Anyway, let's have you practice. You put your
sword arm almost straight out in front of you, and I don't want you to move
it. Only move your wrist as you block my sword."
Marie smiled at him. "All right."
She held her sword out in front of herself and carefully twisted her
wrist to block each of his successive moves. For almost five minutes he
struck at her and she parried. She began to tire and moved her entire arm.
He shook his head. "You moved your whole arm."
Marie switched the sword to her other hand and started shaking her
sword hand. "My wrist is exhausted."
She dropped into a chair still favoring her wrist. Jacob assured her it
would take a while to strengthen it. He should have thought to have her
already exercising, but he was about to remedy that. He picked up the two
rocks, one in each hand. He told her she could use the rocks to strengthen
her wrists. He then curled the rocks up and down. He suggested she do it
while they were studying or taking a break between studies.
Marie sighed. "I wish we could just practice sword fighting and
forget studying."
Jacob knew that Marie was beginning to enjoy the studies more each
day, but he also knew she had looked forward to using swords for so long
that she wanted to do nothing else.
He just smiled and spoke kindly. "Today we are studying an
important philosophy that I feel you should think about."
Marie picked up the rocks and curled them a couple of times as she
spoke. "What is it?"
"It is a saying, 'When a prince's personal conduct is correct, his
government is effective without the issuing of orders. If his personal
conduct is not correct, he may issue orders, but they will not be followed.'"
Marie set the rocks down after only a couple of repetitions. "What
does that mean?"
"That means that when you are queen, you can't tell your people to
live one way when you live another. My father used to put it this way. A
good commanding officer can't say, 'do as I say and not as I do,' for his
example speaks louder than his words."
Marie rolled her eyes. "You think too much."
Jacob became very serious as he thought of his own father. "I want
to make a difference in life. A great composer once said, 'A useless life is
an early death.'"
"You and your quotes," Marie said. "'Some for renown, on scraps
of learning dote. And think they grow immortal as they quote.'"
"By Edward Young," Jacob said.
Marie grinned and hit herself on the forehead teasingly. "Now
you've got me doing it."
"Maybe you're learning something after all," Jacob said.
Marie folded her arms and looked at him. "I find those quotes
coming to my mind all of the time."
"Good," he replied
"I suppose. But I have a tendency to say them at the most
inopportune times, even when I shouldn't say anything at all."
"Like what?" Jacob asked.
"Well, a few nights ago," she replied, "My mother's cousin, the
over-stuffed, pompous, Duke Elnard was here. Mother made me eat with
them. He started in on me about how I was dressed. I told him that Voltaire
said, 'To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be well-mannered; you
must also be stupid'."
Jacob had to choke down an outright laugh. "That was a bit
backwards, but I suppose in his case it might do. I don't know him."
Marie scowled. "Count your blessings."
As Marie talked, Jacob felt a wave of concern. Apparently Marie
noticed. She asked him what was wrong. He breathed a heavy sigh. "With
all we've done, I wonder if I am teaching you what your mother wants."
"What about what I want?" Marie asked.
Jacob looked into her eyes. "I would hope I am teaching you what
you want, only to the point it is to your benefit. Sometimes, however, as we
are going through things we find difficult, it is hard for us to best judge what
is to our own benefit."
"Come again?" she said.
"Sometimes what we want is not what is best for us," he replied.
"For example, a person might not necessarily choose to face a great
challenge, but it is in overcoming our challenges that we become stronger."
Marie rolled her eyes. "I still don't see how those chamber music
concerts you drag me to can be any better for me than riding horses, or
something like that."
"I didn't say they were better. I just said they would broaden your
outlook."
"Wasn't it also Voltaire that said, 'Anything too stupid to be said is
sung'?"
Jacob gulped at having his own quotes used against him. He could
feel his face getting warm again and his tongue lounging stupidly in his
mouth. "Uh, yeah," was all he could muster.
He decided this would be a good time to get back to sword practice.
"Are you rested and ready to try some more?"
Marie stood up and brought her sword in front of her. "Quite."
As they continued to practice, Jacob's mind was not so much on the
sword fighting as it was on how things had changed. They didn't seem to
have any problem talking to each other now. Their break for tea was
pleasant as they discussed philosophy and what was going on in the world
around them. Marie used very pleasant manners. He could see a change in
her every day, and most of it was in things he never even mentioned. He
often wondered how much he was really teaching and how much was
already part of her. Sometimes he found himself questioning whether she
really needed him as a tutor at all.
Chapter 23
Time For A Test And A Change Of Heart
Jacob had been tutoring Marie for over ten months, and they were
close friends. They knew each other well enough that they could often tell
what the other was thinking, even when no one said anything.
The wall Marie had built up around herself was slowly crumbling,
yet there was still much he didn't understand. She had begun talking about
her father. It had been going on for months, gradually, but surely. If
someone brought up her father as a topic of conversation, she no longer
went silent, but seemed somewhere between enjoyment of it and a painful
memory.
Though he had noticed a lot of change in her, he had also felt a
change in himself. That was the part that was even more frustrating. He,
too, was blocking his feelings and didn't dare face them. Something
seemed to be beating at him, wanting to be understood, but he was not sure
he dared open his heart to its message.
As the time of her Princess Ball neared, and their time together was
getting shorter, he almost felt a desperation. He was sure it was caused
partially by a concern that he had not accomplished everything with her that
he was supposed to. Sometimes that nagging feeling told him there was
more, but he had put it quickly from his mind. One thing was sure, he
found an apprehension building as that fateful evening drew closer.
He knew that when that day arrived, and his service was no longer
expected nor needed, he was going to miss her. She had become such a part
of his life - her defiance, her teasings, her arrogant "look at me" nature.
Through the winter they had still taken their walks outside and gone
horseback riding as a way to break up the monotony of the lessons. She had
seemed to enjoy these times most of all. They would talk of nothing of
great importance - just talk. Sometimes she would ask his views on life,
and sometimes he would ask hers. He had been amazed at how deeply she
truly thought about things.
As spring approached they began going back to the gardens. She
had again taken interest in the things there, even more than before. She had
insisted on planting some of it herself and watching over it. She planted
corn, strawberries, pumpkins, and sunflowers. Jacob knew the first three
had been introduced into the kingdom by Prince Alexander, but he had
never heard of sunflowers.
When he had asked her about them, she was quiet for a while, and
he thought he must have said something wrong. But when she finally
spoke, he could hear the emotion in her voice. She smiled weakly at him.
"My father and I were testing these the year he died. Luckily, I saved a few
seeds, but they are so old I'm not sure they are any good."
The two of them had watched carefully every day to see if the seeds
would grow, and then, one day, a small plant had poked its head through the
dirt. Marie knew immediately it was a sunflower, and ran and grabbed his
arm, pulling him over to see it. Of the twenty-three seeds they had planted,
only seven came up. Excitedly Marie had said they would save all of the
seeds from these and plant more next year.
She had opened up and talked like never before. She talked about
how, when she was young, her father would take her to meet with a man
named Gareg who had all sorts of new plants. She said she hadn't been to
the market in years and wondered if Gareg was still alive and trading. She
hoped he was, and she thought maybe she and Jacob could go to the market
this summer together.
As she spoke, that same nagging feeling pulled at his heart again;
that feeling that there was something in his heart he was not understanding.
Marie didn't seem to notice, but had continued on about the Esconodian
Market. Jacob found himself amazed to know that she and her father had
been on such good terms with Esconodians. They were recently getting
more and more aggressive on the northern frontier, and the kingdom was
having more trouble with them all of the time.