“So, from the beginning, you made light of being a thief?”
Those words hurt. He turned and watched the waves splash against the rocks. Without looking at her, he said, “I justify my actions by telling myself, ‘No one gets hurt.’”
“Why did you continue after the first time?”
“My boss found out and wanted me to do the same for him. When I said no, he turned on me. So, later, I agreed. Then, the word got out and his friends wanted me to steal for them, as well. He looked at her. “But, my jobs were only by request.”
“You mean, stealing jobs, don’t you?
“Yes, stealing,” He stood. “Hey, let’s change the subject.”
While walking, she asked, “So, what do you do for recreation?”
“I play golf and tennis, but I prefer tennis. It’s faster and I’m good. And you?”
“I’m your opposite. I play tennis, but prefer golf. I love the outdoors. While golfing, I can listen to the birds and, on occasion, see various creatures.” After bumping into him, intentionally, she said, “Where do you bring your dates, besides dinner?”
“The Civic Theater, but only if something worthwhile is playing.”
They walked to the car; both were silent as he opened her door. While driving home, they talked about family, friends and the children.
When he stopped in front of her place, he quickly jumped out to assist her. They slowly walked to the front door. He spun her around on the porch. When she didn’t resist, his lips touched hers. He found them warm and inviting. With her in his arms, he slowly caressed her curves and nuzzled her neck. As their lips met again, her body experienced new sensations. She trembled, her stomach tingled, and her heart raced. When their bodies came closer, she was defenseless.
He gazed at her. “Wow. You’re amazing.”
Although, she was smiling, she was shaking inside.
He said, “Aren’t you going to ask me in?”
She shook her head and avoided his eyes because it would be too hard for her to say no.
“If I come in, we can watch a movie,” he said. “I’m not overly tired, are you?”
“No, Matt, I’m not tired. But, if I invite you to come in, I would also insist you stay the night.”
“That tells me a lot about your feelings. When can I see you again?”
“We won’t be seeing each other again,” she whispered.
As he looked at her, he was bewildered. “But why? We like each other, don’t we?”
She nodded.
“We have chemistry. So, what’s the problem?”
As she turned toward the door, her legs felt wobbly. “Good night, Matt. I genuinely had a wonderful time. I appreciate what you did for Danny. He’ll love it. But, please, I can’t see you again. Things would never work between us.”
As he pleaded with her, he gave it his all. “But, why?”
Finally, she was able to face him. “We’re heading in different directions. I love you, Matt. You’re the love of my life, so to say no is devastating for me. But, we’re going down two different paths -- spiritually and ethically -- and they’re too extreme to overcome.”
“We can make it work, I know we can.”
“So, tell me, how? If I continue to see you, you know I’ll be helplessly hooked.”
“Can’t you just give us a chance?”
She stood with her weight on one foot and her hand on her hip. “Why, Matt? So we can fall madly in love, just to end our relationship later? That would be harder on both of us.”
“You’re breaking my heart. I love you, Abigail.” He grabbed her by the waist and held her in his arms. “I can’t let you go. I’ve searched for you all my life.”
“And, I love you, too. I like and admire you, but our lifestyles oppose each other. It couldn’t work. So, we need to nip it in the bud, or it’ll be impossible for us to end it later.” While she tried to be composed, her body quivered.
At that moment, she wanted to say yes, but said, “I’m sorry, I truly am, but I can’t.” While opening the door, she glanced at him. His shoulders were slumped, his mouth was open, and his eyes revealed disbelief. She wanted to grab him and pull him inside. She hated leaving him there without hope.
While walking around Mission Bay, Abigail stepped over a rock, picked it up, threw it and watched it skip on the water. As she walked around the inlet, she tried not to think about Matt, but couldn’t help it because she was worried sick. The expression on his face was similar to Gary’s after she broke it off with him.
Abruptly, she stopped and pulled out her cellphone to call Carry. After they arranged to meet, she pleaded with God.
Please. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to Matt. Please protect him.
She got into her car and headed for Coronado Island. After finding a parking space, she got out and walked to the restaurant.
When she saw Carry waving from a table, she joined her. Before they were able to review the menus, their young waiter, who looked like a high school student, was standing at their table. He smiled with his order pad in hand, but he didn’t say a word. Abigail ordered toast and coffee, and Carry requested poached eggs with an English muffin.
After he left, Carry asked, “What’s going on with Alisa?”
“She’s still in a coma, I’m sorry to say.”
“Will she come out of it?”
“The doctors think she might. They’ve said coma survivors can wake up after a month and be perfectly normal. So, who knows?”
When the waiter returned with the coffee, Abigail asked, “Is this your first job?”
“No. I worked at Applebee’s for three years.”
“You look too young for that experience.”
“I’m twenty-two … I know, I look younger. I get that all the time.”
Once the young man was gone, Carry asked, “So what’s wrong? You sounded upset.”
Abigail looked at her folded hands on the table. “I’m concerned. What if Matt does something foolish, like Gary? I don’t think I could take it.”
“Matt doesn’t seem like the suicidal type. From what you have said, he has strong friendships and was bold enough to crash the funeral. To me, he seems secure, whereas Gary had no close friends, and he struggled with depression. Remember, you said he was on depression and anxiety medication for years.”
Abigail looked into her eyes. “I’m troubled, because twice I saw Matt suddenly shut down. Once on the yacht, after I asked about his connection to the touring vessel and, last night, after dinner when I challenged him about being a thief. Both times, he became very upset. Doesn’t that seem like he is emotionally distressed?”
Carry reached over and touched her folded hands. “The question is, how long did it take for him to bounce back?”
“Let’s see, at least a few hours on the yacht and an hour last night, why?”
“If my memory serves me, Gary was depressed for days, if not weeks at a time, so I don’t think you can compare the two men.”
“Perhaps, you’re right,” Abigail said, while looking at her friend.
After Carry leaned forward, she said, “You don’t have control over what other people say or do. It’s not your fault Gary tried to kill himself. You’re not responsible for his choices.”
“I know. But, I regret not offering him hope. Instead, I abruptly ended our relationship.”
“Now, Abigail, how could you offer Gary hope when he wanted a life commitment? Would that be possible? And, with Matt, your differences are huge, so how could you have offered hope?”
Abigail grinned at her logic. “It’s hard for me to be objective. I know Matt’s nothing like Gary, but I can’t get over his tormented expression.”
Carry adjusted to sit straighter. “Look. Even if he does something rash, you’re not responsible. You can’t control another person’s thoughts, emotions or actions. You know that!”
“Yes, you’re right, but I still hate seeing him suffer.” After she got Carry’s full attention, she said, “Matt’s the only man for me. If I thought we could make it work, I would run into his arms as fast as possible.”
“This is the first time I have seen you stuck on a man. Your face lights up each time you mention him, even your eyes show how much you care.”
“So, what do I do now?” Abigail asked.
“For starters, you need a reality check. Are you willing to live the rest of your life married to an atheist? Will you be happy knowing your husband is a thief? Are you prepared to tell your children their father’s in prison? Of course not! So, what’s the struggle here?”
Abigail looked down at her folded hands, and then at her friend. “If we were together, I would end up making his life miserable. I’d hound him to see the truth about God and what Jesus did for him. Plus, I would force him to promise to never steal again and insist he pay restitution.”
“So, why don’t you tell him what you just said? Perhaps, he might want to change his lifestyle and embrace your faith. In your mind, you’re trying to adjust to his lifestyle. Instead, let him find a way to adapt to yours.”
“Carry, what am I going to do?”
“Let’s look at it from another angle. You’re thirty, so your clock is ticking away. Maybe it’s not just Matt, but that your hormones are raging.”
Abigail leaned in closer. “I love everything about the man -- how he interacts with the children, how he keeps me in check, his humor and how he gets mine. We’re so comfortable with each other. With him, I can feel excited and at ease at the same time.”
There was a snicker on Carry’s face. “Okay, enough already. You’re making me fall in love with the guy.” They laughed so long that tears came to their eyes.
“As your friend, it’s my opinion that it’s too late. You’re already hooked on him. So, what’s the bottom line here? What is preventing you from letting him know your feelings and concerns?”
“For starters, you’re right, he’s the love of my life, but I love God foremost. And, He doesn’t want me to marry a non-believer, and I trust God with my life.”
*
Matt tried to get some sleep, but he couldn’t. Instead, he tossed and turned all night. He got out of bed to watch TV. There was nothing worthwhile on, so he found a DVD of
A Few Good Men
and pushed play. He tired of it quickly and turned it off. Desperately, he needed someone to talk to, but everyone was sleeping. After an hour passed, he decided he couldn’t wait until morning. He called Jack and waited.
“Who’s this, why are you calling so early? It’s four in the morning.”
“It’s me Jack. I know it’s late. Should I call back later?”
“Don’t be absurd, you know I’m already awake.”
“I need to talk. My mind’s racing so much I can’t sleep, focus or even watch the damn TV, for God’s sake. What’s wrong with me?”
“It’s the woman,” Jack said, while fluffing his bed pillows so he could sit propped up. Matt paced and ran his hand through his hair. “What do you mean?”
“I saw you walking with her by the La Jolla shores. She’s a sophisticated woman; so face it, she won’t settle for men like us.”
“But, I can’t stop thinking about her, I can’t sleep. I want her, Jack.”
“I’m telling you to forget her, why would she want to reconcile with a thief?” Soon, Jack got out of bed and sauntered into the kitchen. “How will you feel if someday she had to visit you behind bars? And, don’t kid yourself, ’cause that’s where you’re headed, unless you stop this nonsense.”
“I already made up my mind about that. I took my last job. But, what will I do? Go get a job someplace?”
“You make work sound appalling.” He opened the refrigerator and grabbed the milk. “Hey. People go to work every day, and they endure adequately, so why can’t you?”
“It’s easy for you to say -- you own your own business.”
“Then, go find a company to buy; you have the money and the ability. All you need to do is figure out what’s appealing to you and do it.”
“Funny,” Matt said while pulling the blinds and looking out the window. “It’s still dark.”
“Suit yourself, but from my view, what you’re doing isn’t working. You just lost the love of your life, and you have no plans to change that. So, your task is to decide what you need to do differently to get her back. But, it has to be genuine or it won’t work, Pal.”
Once Matt stopped pacing, he said, “Okay. I have decided that, with or without her, there will be no more stealing jobs. I don’t care who puts pressure on me, I’m done with them.”
“Good. It’s about time. I was beginning to think you were dense. What made you decide with such conviction?”
“I realized I’m a thief.”
“How did you fool yourself to think otherwise?”
“Because the people I stole from asked me to, and they committed insurance fraud, not me. I considered myself ethical because no one got hurt, and I never brought a weapon. But, now I get it. I’m a thief.”
“Good. At least you made one good decision.”
“Jack, I’m sorry for putting you at risk to lose everything for me. And, I want to correct things, so what should I do next?”
“She’s a Christian, right?”
Matt stopped pacing. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You must figure out why you’re an atheist and lack faith. Then, decide if you have room for God in your life -- you either do or don’t. But, only you will know the answer to that question. Who knows? This might be your turning point.”
Matt hung up and was more confused than ever. This time, when he thought about Abigail, he also thought of his Aunt Francis, perhaps because both women knew God. “Where did I put that Bible she gave me?” Although he hadn’t read it much, he found it inspiring.
He said out loud, “I must accept my past, so I can change my future.” As he looked at himself more clearly, he saw the truth and could admit his flaws and wrongdoings. And, for some reason, he was actually considering paying for his mistakes. Although he wanted her more than life itself, he was willing to go to jail, even if it meant losing her. “Without self-respect and dignity, I have nothing to offer her.”
His life flashed before him. He questioned how a child, raised in Bel Air, California, with a stay-at-home mom and a hardworking father, could become a thief? Although his mother never worked, she did lack motherly instincts. She was too busy with women’s groups, golf and card clubs. One time, she brought his sister Karen and him golfing, only to leave them in the car for hours until she finished. After school, he often had to wait for a long time to be picked up, because she forgot.