Read Etiquette and Vitriol Online
Authors: Nicky Silver
GRACE:
It was months agoâor actually, it wasn't.
ARTHUR:
It'll be nice, on the lawnâ
GRACE:
I mean it would have been.
ARTHUR:
Under the trees. Under a tent.
GRACE:
There was no wedding, Arthur. You know that.
ARTHUR:
Is everything ready?
GRACE:
I told you yesterday. I told you this morning.
ARTHUR:
Everything should be perfect.
GRACE:
I told you at lunch.
ARTHUR:
Every detail.
GRACE:
Emma is gone, Arthur.
EMMA
(Out)
: Death is a walk in the park.
ARTHUR:
What do you mean. Did she run away?
GRACE:
No. I mean she's dead.
ARTHUR:
Pardon me?
GRACE:
She was dead yesterday. Dead this morning. Dead last night and she'll be dead tomorrow.
ARTHUR:
Don't be ridiculousâ
(He calls upstairs)
EMMA!
(Emma would respond, but Todd stops her.)
GRACE
(After a moment)
: You see?
ARTHUR:
Maybe she's out?
GRACE:
She's not.
ARTHUR:
She's napping.
GRACE:
She's not.
ARTHUR:
She's sleeping.
GRACE:
She's dead.
ARTHUR:
Very deeply?
GRACE:
She shot herself.
ARTHUR:
I don't feel well.
GRACE:
I'll get you an aspirin.
(Grace exits. Arthur addresses the audience.)
ARTHUR:
When she was a girl, Emma wanted to be a sports announcer on the radio. She loved the Philadelphia Phillies. She talked about them all the time. She said their names over and over again.
EMMA
(Out)
: I wanted to be a ballerina.
ARTHUR:
Nick Etten, Danny Litwhiler, Eddie Waitkus . . .
EMMA
(Out)
: Or a nurse.
ARTHUR:
And her favorite, Granville Hamner.
EMMA
(Out)
: Or a wife and mother.
ARTHUR:
She worshipped him.
TODD
(Standing)
: That's not true.
ARTHUR:
What?
EMMA
(Out)
: But I don't really like children.
TODD:
What you're saying isn't true.
EMMA
(Out)
: So it's for the best.
ARTHUR:
What would you know about it?
TODD
(Descending the stairs)
: That's what you say about me.
ARTHUR:
I have a headache.
TODD:
But it's not true.
ARTHUR:
Let's have a catch? Would you like that?
TODD:
About anyone.
(Grace reenters with an aspirin.)
GRACE:
Here you areâTodd, what are you doing up?
TODD:
I couldn't sleep.
ARTHUR:
We're going to have a catch.
TODD:
We'd die from the cold.
EMMA
(Out)
: I hate crowds.
GRACE:
Take a pill Arthur.
ARTHUR:
I don't want to take a pill.
GRACE:
Too bad.
TODD:
He was saying how Emma liked the Phillies.
GRACE:
You liked the Phillies, Arthur.
ARTHUR:
I did?
GRACE
(To Todd)
: Maybe you should lie down.
TODD:
I don't want to lie down.
ARTHUR:
(To Todd)
: Did you like the Phillies?
TODD:
I hate baseball.
EMMA
(Out)
: Me too.
GRACE:
No one likes baseball, Arthur.
ARTHUR:
What are you talking about? Lots of people like baseball! It's the national pastime!
GRACE:
No one in the room.
ARTHUR:
Who are you people?
GRACE:
I'm your wife.
TODD:
And your son.
ARTHUR:
I miss Emma.
GRACE:
Well, too bad. She's gone.
TODD:
Say dead.
ARTHUR
(To Todd)
: And it's your fault!
GRACE:
He didn't kill her!
ARTHUR:
He gave her the gun!
GRACE:
Leave him aloneâ
ARTHUR:
Why should I?
GRACE:
Because he's sick!
TODD:
I'm fine!
GRACE
(To Todd)
: Go to bed!
ARTHUR:
Someone has to be responsible!
GRACE:
She's responsible. She did it.
ARTHUR:
She wouldn't.
EMMA
(Out)
: I did.
TODD:
But she did.
GRACE:
She did it herself.
ARTHUR
(To Todd)
: I blame you!
GRACE
(To Todd)
: Go. To. Bed.
EMMA
(Out)
: To get away.
ARTHUR:
I hate you!
GRACE:
Arthur!
TODD:
I know.
GRACE
(To Todd)
: He doesn't mean thatâ
ARTHUR:
I do!
GRACE
(To Arthur)
: He's sick!
TODD:
I'M NOT!
ARTHUR:
She wouldn't leave me all alone!
EMMA:
Sure, I would.
GRACE:
You're not alone Arthur! What the hell's the matter with you? I'm hereâ
TODD:
Me too.
GRACE:
I was here in the beginning, I'm still here! I will always be here!
ARTHUR:
But I don't love you Grace.
(A long pause.)
GRACE:
Oh.
ARTHUR:
I loved Emma. She was beautiful.
EMMA:
Thank you.
ARTHUR:
She was perfect.
TODD:
And you wanted to fuck her.
ARTHUR:
NO!! THAT IS NOT TRUE!!
GRACE
(Panicked)
: Let's talk about dinner.
TODD:
You killed her. Leering at her, staring at her, touching herâ
GRACE:
Is anyone hungry?
ARTHUR:
I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!
EMMA:
That's debatable.
TODD:
Kissing herâ
ARTHUR:
WHY ARE YOU HERE!
TODD:
I have no oneâ
GRACE:
He's our child!
TODD:
I belong here.
ARTHUR:
YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE!
GRACE:
Of course he does!
TODD:
Where then?
ARTHUR:
I DON'T CARE. I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T!
GRACE:
Stop it, Arthur! Stop this!
ARTHUR:
I DO NOT WANT YOU HERE! I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T BELONG! MY LIFE WAS GOODâMY LIFE WASâI DON'T WANT YOU HERE!
TODD:
Too fucking bad! Too bad for you! What do you want?! Some pretty family! Pretty wife! Pretty daughter! Pretty son named BUZZ! TOO FUCKING BAD! BUZZ IS GONE! BUZZ IS DEAD! BUZZ NEVER WAS!
ARTHUR:
I don't care what happens! Where you goâI do not care! I DON'T! YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD! GET AWAY! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
(Arthur attacks Todd. There is a struggle. Arthur is strangling Todd.)
GRACE
and
EMMA:
Stop!
(Arthur stops, realizes what he's done. He walks away, slowly.)
EMMA
(Out)
: Death is a day at the beach.
GRACE
(At Todd's side)
: Are you all right?
TODD:
I'm fine.
ARTHUR:
I'm sorry.
TODD:
I'm fine.
ARTHUR:
I don't know . . .
GRACE
(To Arthur, stunned)
: What's wrong with you?
ARTHUR:
I don't know.
TODD:
He tried to kill me.
ARTHUR:
I lost control.
GRACE
(Standing)
: I think you should go.
Arthur:
What?
GRACE:
I think you should leave.
ARTHUR:
I'm your husband.
GRACE:
Just go.
(Arthur starts to exit, then pauses.)
ARTHUR
(After a moment, to Todd)
: You're to blame.
(He exits)
GRACE:
You're all right?
TODD:
Yes.
GRACE:
You want to lie down?
(Todd shakes his head “no.”)
TODD:
You don't believe him, do you?
GRACE:
What about?
TODD:
I'm not to blame.
GRACE:
Of course not. You're my baby.
(Todd pours Grace a drink.)
Thank you.
TODD:
It'll be dark soon.
GRACE:
Are you hungry?
TODD:
No.
GRACE:
You have to keep up your strength.
TODD:
I'm not hungry.
GRACE:
Let me know. I'll cook you something.
(She downs her drink)
TODD:
You can't cook.
GRACE:
I know it. Do you remember, when you were little? We'd have canned carrots for dinner. That was it. On cook's day off, we'd have carrots and I'd call that dinner.
TODD:
I remember.
GRACE:
You didn't mind. Never cared about food. Really. Just like me. You and I are just alike.
TODD:
I suppose.
GRACE:
Always were.
TODD:
And it's a shame.
GRACE:
What is?
TODD:
You made me just like yourself, when you hate yourself to begin with.
GRACE:
You'll give me a headache.
TODD:
Sorry.
(He fills her glass. A light goes out, then another, reducing their playing area. Grace is very tired and somewhat drunk.)
GRACE:
It's so cold.
TODD:
It'll be dark soon.
GRACE:
Are you hungry?
TODD:
No.
GRACE:
You have to keep up your strength.
(She drinks)
TODD:
I feel fine.
GRACE:
You are amazing. You are so strong. My baby . . . how long has it been?