Evanescence (Black Rose #1) (12 page)

Mike doesn't budge nor speak, but something is different about him. His skin, pale. His eyes, blood red. His mouth, fangs. His entire person--.

Dead.

He joins Bianca's side. Cedric scoffs and keeps his eye locked onto me through his hair -- the same way he always does. I look amongst them all. Now is the time that I wake up in my bed. My mother is downstairs in her work clothes making breakfast, and sure enough, I may be late for school. 

"Evan, listen to me," Kaius says as steps forward. I want to back away, but the edge is behind me. He places his cold hands onto my shoulders, "Your dreams are not dreams. They are your memories of your childhood trying to show you who you really are. Your step-mother, Sarah, has told me all about them. About the ones you see. About the little girl, Beebee or should I say, Bianca, your sister. And the boy, Cedric. Your cousin. Those dreams or, nightmares, are colliding with each other mixing memory with fear, showing you who you are and where you belong."

"But I still don't know who I am I – I've always felt—different from everyone else," I tell them. My eyes continue to search for answers, yet they have already provided them.
Why have I yet to accept this? Is it denial?

"And that's why we are here," he assures. "We've been watching you for quite some time, Evan."

And there I was, back in the forest, face to face with Abel. 'We're watching you,' he had told me. Then back at school, seeing Bianca, smiling and waving to me on occasion. Wanting to speak, but didn't. Then Cedric. Bumping into me and watching me in the hallway.
             
'Watch your back, Evan, nobody's going to do it for you' he once told me.

"At school," he continues. "Outside of school, and even the place you call home. We've been watching."

I look over at my stepmother, then return my attention to Kaius.

"We never forgot about you," he says. "We wanted to wait until it was the right time."

"But I still don't understand. If this is all true, why did you send me away in the first place?" I ask. My eyes begin to tear. "Didn't you want me? Hmm? Was there something wrong with me? Did I do something to you? Was I not good enough?"

"No, no, no," Kaius says. "Not at all, Evan."

"It wasn't like any of that?" Valencia adds.

"Then what was it?" I ask as my heart pounds against my chest. "What was so – unfit for you that you couldn't take care of me yourselves? Lying to me all this time?"

"She hasn't told you, has she Evan? She hasn't told you what you
really
are?" Bianca says.

"What is she talking about?" Fearing I already know the answer. Maybe to hear it out loud would give the confirmation I need.

"You are not what you think you are," Kaius says.

I flinch.
He said, "what" and not, "who." 

"
What
am I?"              

"You are like us, excluding Sarah," he responds. "You are not human."

I press my eyes shut and take a deep breath.

"You are a vampire. A late-bloomer."

I trail my eyes away to the edge of the cliff.
Vampire
.
Why is there a part of me that believes such a thing? Because I don't know myself?
Drops of rain begins to fall. I look up to the sky and shake my head.

"There's no such thing."

"There is too such a thing otherwise we would not be standing before you," he says.

"Well if there is such a thing, I was never bitten. I don't drink bl--"

"That's because you don't have to be. You were birthed, yes, a natural birth, but not by a human. Rather, a vampire," he says holding his arm out to Valencia.

"How can I be birthed by something that is dead? Something that doesn't have a heartbeat?"

"A beating heart is just a reminder that you are among the living. And here --" Kaius holds his arm out to Valencia. "-- your real mother stands before you. Without a beating heart, yet she can love and loves you. Is that not enough to convince you, Evan?"

"I just--don't see how that is possible," I respond.

Kaius shrugs. "Nature and evolution does not discriminate. Not even for our kind apparently."

He steps forward, closer to me.

"You still possess the essence of your human soul, which hides what you truly are. A vampire. It's like – a mask. It is what kept us protected all these centuries. This skin. It's just a mimic of what society accepts without fear, without doubt or confusion. Their eyes see human, but we are beasts. For our species, for those who have a natural birth by a vampire, the change is like -- what puberty is to humans. But normally, it comes much, much sooner. For you Evan, your transformation hid. Became so comfortable with your human body that it coiled itself around your human soul, but in exchange, it is killing it, and killing you. Slowly, but surely, you will turn into what you are destined to become and what your body is trying to tell you what you are-- A vampire."

I bring my hands to my head and close my eyes to shelter my sanity.

"Believe them," I hear my step-mother say. She steps forward. "Remember the accident, Evan?" She asks.

"Yes," I respond. "How could I forget?"

"There are some—discrepancies with that story."

"What kind of discrepancies?"

"I was driving along the road. The snow was thick, and no matter how slow I drove, it was difficult to see. I hit a patch of black ice, drove through the guardrail, and rolled down the hill towards the Mohawk River. When I woke, the van was upside down and I was trapped in my seat belt, gasoline was spilling and sparking around me. That night, Kaius and Valencia found me. They were hunting and smelled all the blood. Not mine, but the blood packets that had burst open. I was trying to free myself from the seatbelt, and that's when I see them, standing in front of the van, in the snow, watching me. I knew something was different about them because of their eyes. No one's eyes glows like that. Kaius came to my door, and Valencia ripped the windshield from the frame. She reaches in and pulled my seat belt out of its spring. Just ripped it, like it was tissue. I wanted to be scared, but I wasn't. That was when Kaius ripped the door and tossed it into the river. He pulled me out and they took me away from van, just before it went up into flames. They saved my life--"

"Since then, I felt I owed them. At first, it was difficult for them to stand too close. They were out to feed after all. I found a way to show them my appreciation. Instead of them having to run out and hunt, I would bring them a bin of blood packets to feed their family, and that's when they told me about you – "the late bloomer." The young vampire who has yet become a vampire. I took you into my home since they felt it was only right for a human to raise a human. Something they were unsure of how to do or at least, forgot over the centuries. Eventually, they made it their practice not to feed. I feed them, tell them about you, then I come home."

Everyone stands silent and watch me.

"I – can't believe this is real." 

"Don't be afraid," Valencia, my real mother says.

"Evan, you're changing and it shall continue," Kaius says. "Look at your hands."

I look at the back of my palms. They are pale again. My fingernails are sharp to a point. My jaw aches. I run my tongue across my top row of teeth and feel two fangs that are a bit larger than the other hundreds in my mouth.

"I can only imagine how much of your strength has increased. Emotions as well? Perhaps. Anger?" he asks.

The bully struggles to breath within my grip. His face losing oxygen and life.
I remember how strange and addictive it felt. It should not have been to my liking, yet it was.

"And your appetite," Kaius continues. "Soon that shall take a bit of a curve as well."

I remain silent touching my teeth with my fingertips. Bianca and Mike show a smile, but Cedric remains as still as a statue. Sarah watches with a tint of betrayal on her face and Abel stands content.

"Some time soon, you will die, and when you do, you will be reborn, your transformation, complete."

Kaius lifts his hand and everyone else, except Cedric and Sarah, does the same. They show the mark that I had seen on Abel's before and the one I painted on my easel back in school. I look down at my hand and below my thumb's knuckle is the same mark.

"You see, Evan?" says Kaius. "Your mark.”

He takes my right hand into his.

“--The ‘M’ stands for our clan; The Macrae Clan. And the symbol represents who we are…Who you are. You are Passionate. You are Loving. You are Merciful. You are Evan Macrae,
my son
, of the Macrae Clan."

He lets go and I run my thumb across the mark. I drop to my knees. My lips began to form the words I thought would never escape.

"I believe you..."

Relief leaves their lips as Kaius and Valencia wrap their arms around me. I then picture Cedric's mark. 
If he is family, why is his mark different?

"And Cedric's?" I ask.

Cedric rolls his eyes.

"Cedric is of the Verin Clan," my father says. "When his father, my brother, the Dracula perished--" 

"Don't speak of him," Cedric commands as he takes a step forward.

Kaius looks over to Cedric who then relaxes back against the red doors.

"When my brother," Kaius continues, "Your grandfather,
disappeared
, as Cedric would like to believe, we took Cedric into our home. I became the Dracula, by default. Cedric not ready for such a burden."

Cedric scoffs.

"I feel his pain," I say.             

"Finally someone relates to me. My father would still be here if you--"             

"Enough. Now is not the time, Cedric." Kaius tells him. He turns back to me.

"I'm so sorry, son" he says. "We had to send you away. Hoping you would one day return on your own. It would have been dangerous keeping you. I've tried so hard to bring it out of you, but nothing worked. You were still -- human. Sarah has been a great friend to our family. She practically feeds us all here allowing us to eat without having to leech around anymore. You are the first to live this long with a human soul. It gave us a new outlook on your---their, species. So we curved our thirst for your sake, in which Sarah provides by her work. Everything was convenient, Evan. We sent you to live with her, to raise you, being able to provide for your human needs. But as I have said, we have always been here, Evan. Watching you. Waiting for you to come back to us--and you have."

"I just -- can't believe how all of this happened."

"Well, believe it," Cedric replies. "Live with it. Hopefully now you can watch yourself."

"Cedric," Bianca nudges him.

"No, I'm tired of watching some human, as though I'm his baby-sitter. For years, everything. All of this. For him. What about my father? He is the Dracula. How dare you all to believe he is dead.”

“Cedric,” Kaius says. “I watched your father—“

“My father what?” Cedric says as his eyes become as fierce as his anger. “Die?”

Kaius doesn’t finish. Cedric nods his head.

“And what about my brother and sister, Mathis and Agatha? Where are they? Oh! That’s right! No one seems to care!"

"Cedric, that's enough," Kaius tells him.

"He's nothing but filth," he continues, taking a few steps forward. "A weak…Tender…Puny…Meat-sack."

"At least I have a friend. Can't say much for you."

Red bleeds around his pupils and his mouth rises above his fangs with a hiss. I flinch and regret antagonizing him.

"Cedric!" Abel yells.

Cedric lowers his body and places a hand on the ground. He lunges towards me with one arm dragging behind him. With a swing of his hand, it connects with my face. I plow to the ground and catch myself before falling from the cliff. My blood boils and a hiss leaves my throat. Everyone takes a step back and awaits my next move, but the look on their faces immediately brings tears to mine.

"I didn't ask for this," I say shaking my head. "Any of this."

I turn to the Mohawk River Valley.

"Evan wait!" Kaius calls out to me.

I jump off the cliff and plummet to the water. When I break through its surface, I stay under and begin to swim as hard and as fast as I can. 
I have to get away from here.
There's only one place I can go. My tree.

I drag my body across the sand panting and paining one breath after another. The rain pouring over me is soothing, but not enough to sloth away the betrayal and deception I received.
Why not tell me sooner? Before it was this late? I always, ALWAYS, questioned who I am and where do I come from! Always have! Now look at me!

I let go of my weight and allow my body to fall onto the damp sand. The ocean of forest green trees are waiting for me as the wind whispers between their bodies. The pine and mint smell mixes with the rain and wet bark. I look to the Mohawk River in which I swam. With each rumble of thunder and flash of lighting, I crawl away and closer to the grass of the rainforest. Warmth filled my eyes which only confirmed that it is not the rain, rather, my tears. I place my hand against my chest. No heartbeat. Nothing. My arms shake as I hold my weight in a crawl.

"I'm a monster,"
 I sob. "
I'm a monster. That's what I am. That's who I am. I can't do this."

I run into the rainforest, the trees whipping past me in a blur. I step onto a fallen brown giant, leap into the air, then leaping out from the treetops, and have a scenic view of Utica. When gravity returns, I descend into the rainforest, step onto a trunk, and take a leap to the next tree. Then to the next. And then, another.

My tears of sadness become tears of anger. My hands clench into fists as I begin to move faster and jump higher. When I reach another tree, it cracks when I kick off. I then sit beneath the stationed umbrella and hold my head with my hands, listening as the rain falls and my head voice cry.
 

                                        
 
~

I don't want to always have this urge to kill someone. There are people that I love that are human. I would never want to hurt them. I can't do it! I don't want to live in the shadows having to hide what I am. I want to be me! Not the vampire me, but the human me!

And Mike.
He's one of them too! How could he do this? How could he not tell me?
 And Bianca.
Bianca is my sister, Beebee, and Cedric, my cousin.
 And my mother -- my step-mother.
How could Sarah keep this from me for so long?
This human life, slipping between my fingertips.
How could she do this to me?!

I elbow the tree and it splits. I gasp, then run my fingers across the torn bark of my tree. Now it's hurt because of me. I 
feel
 human. It's all I know. My eyes lay upon the mark on my hand.
But I'm not human.

I'm not human. I have a soul, but it's dying. The essence of my life is fading away, my body changing into this beast that has leeched itself to my soul. What's my life going to be like now? Will I be living with them? In a mansion? Drinking blood?

BLOOD.

No. I can't do it and I won't do it. My mouth begins to water. Yet, the thought of it, of blood, isn't quite as disturbing as I want it to be. I lick my lips and my jaw trembles. I slouch my arms over my knees and rest my head onto my forearms. I hold my eyes shut and listen to the thunder and rain. So much has happened these past few weeks, and now, in finally finding out who I am, I have been told two things:
I am a vampire and I have to die
.

 Feet squishes into the mud from a distance. I listen and the sound is near. That scent. Very familiar and addicting. I turn my body away to hide.

 "Evan!" Essence calls out for me.

I look around the tree's bark and her eyes lay upon me.

"Evan," she calls again, but softer. 

I sit in the shadow without responding.

"Could you come down from there?" She asks holding a hand above her eyebrows to block the rain.

“...No," I respond.

"Why not?"

"Because if I’d--you'll never want to see or speak to me again. You'll be afraid of me."

"That will never happen. I can never be afraid of you I -- I actually feel something for you. I like you."

My heart beats, almost literally.

"You shouldn't. I'm not -- what you think I am?"

"Then, who are you?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"Not
who. What
."

She stands silent in the rain.

"Then why don't you come down from there and we can talk about it? Please?"

If I come down from here, that will be the end of me. If I stay up here, maybe she will just run off and be upset with me. Maybe that will only be temporary.

"Evan, please," she says again.

I wish she'd stop saying that.
I adjust my sitting position and my body loses strength and balance. I slip out of the tree.

"Evan careful!" Essence calls.

I fall facedown onto the ground. No physical damage done or pain inflicted. But my spirit…My spirit is crushed. Essence grabs hold of my arm to help, but I withdraw my arm, and hold out my hand to keep her away.

"No. Stay there."

I kneel on the soft grass and sit on my heels. I keep my eyes and mouth shut.

"Evan?"

Essence takes a step towards me. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

"Evan talk to me."

Essence tries to look into my face, but I withdraw.

I smell her blood and hear her heart race, yet she continues taking steps towards me.

"I'm not -- human."

I slouch my head. She pulls me into her lap and I wrap my arms around the backs of her thighs, hugging her. She runs her hands through my hair. I exhale deeply.

"What do you mean you're not human, Evan?"

"You won't believe me if I told you. You won't believe your eyes," I murmur.

"I'd believe anything you show and tell me. I will never judge you."

I fight to not look up. I am unsure of how she would react seeing for herself. Her hands began to caress atop and behind my head, then down to my cheeks. She begins lift my face up to her. I resist, at first, but then give into her alluring, addictive scent, and touch. I close my mouth and kept my eyes shut. 

"Evan."

I could never resist her voice saying my name. I slightly release my jaw exposing the monstrous overbite. I open my eyes and allow her to see the red embedded into my pale face. Essence takes a step back gasping and cupping her hands to her mouth. Her scent becomes stronger.
Fear. She is afraid of me as I expected.
Petrified rather. I hear her heart race and can smell the blood rushing through her veins. I fight to not think about a taste.
This is exactly what I would have to fight every day.

"Evan," she says through her hands.

I gulp and drop my head back to the ground.

"I'm a vampire," I tell her trying to fight the anger building within.

"But vampires --"

I nod.

"Aren't real. Well, they are…I've been lied to. This whole time. My entire life just…One big lie."

"Evan I…”

My hands ball into fists.

"A LIE! HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?! HOW?! WHY!" 

Essence gasps and backs away, but then grabs hold of my face with her hands and pulls me back into her lap.

"NO! STOP!
" I grab hold of the sides of her thighs with my hands, she winces, fights back to hug me, and when her hold breaks, she grabs me again.

"ESSENCE! STOP! LET ME GO!" I yell at her trying not to cry. She grabs my face and forces me to look up at her. I bite down, pressing my two rows and teeth together, trying to fight my anger.
It's—slipping.

"Evan," she says softly.

I look into her eyes and submit. She looks at my lips. I look at hers. She closes her eyes, presses her lips against mine, and our lips press and fold against each other with fragility and passion. I weaken beneath her as my body begins to slouch, but she holds my face firmer than before, and continues to kiss me, as my lips become weak, and we breathe between each smack from our lips. I gulp, and can't keep going, but she slowly, caressingly, continues. She stops for a moment, kisses my bottom lip, places her forehead against mine, and doesn’t let go of my face for even a second. I try to catch my breath.

"I'm here for you, Evan. I'm here for you."

My teeth no longer ache or feel like knives hanging from my gums. I look into my hands and my complexion returns. I fail to hold my weight up any longer against her lap and fall forward. She falls back into the mud, catches me, and wraps her arms and legs around me.

"I can hear your heart beating," I whisper.

She catches her breath as she runs her hand through my hair, beneath the falling sky of the forest.

"I can feel yours," she says. I squeeze my hand between us, and it's there. My heartbeat.

"Everything is going to be okay, Evan," she says. "Everything is going to be okay."