Evanescere: Origins (11 page)

The stutter of the girls’
heart was growing; she was slowly dying in my arms. I did not think I could
make it to New Orleans for Jack to save her. I was half way back to Orange, I
could feel her warmth begin to fade, her heart fluttered slowly. I would not
make it to Jack. I stopped in the middle of the swampy bayou, and looked at the
girl. I did not know if I could change her myself. I recalled my last human
memory. I hesitated and slowly I bit into her neck, I did not know how much
blood she had left in her. I did not want to take what was left. I took a few
drops of her blood and then tore into my wrist. As my wrist bleed from the
wound, I could see it was beginning to heal, quickly. I tore at my wrist again,
and put it to her lips. I saw my blood spill out of her still lips, suddenly
her heart stopped and did not start back up. In this new state of being I was
unsure if cardio pulmonary resuscitation would work. I may end up fracturing
her body further. I noticed her belly was distended. This meant that she had
internal bleeding from somewhere in her abdomen. She was bleeding profusely. I
did not dare try CPR on her for fear of causing more damage to her.

I screamed in agony. I
held the girl in my arms, I cradled her and still I tried to force my blood
into her. I grieved for the girl. I grieved for my own children. My tears fell
down my face when I could no longer contain my own pain. I could not come to
grips with my own immortality. I feared for my family’s imminent death and I
grieved. I grieved in a way in which I was never allowed to do.

I fled into my own mind. My
own personal madness and so it was how Jack found me with the girl. I hated
myself, and I deserved the hatred my family may feel towards me. I hated the
mother of this child. I hated her for forcing me to realize my own children’s
mortality. I hated her for wanting this life for her daughter. I wanted Jack to
hate me for all I have done. I wanted him to hate me for loving me. I wanted to
hate him for making me the monster I am, despite his honest intentions.

 DID NOT KNOW THAT A
VAMPIRE could become catatonic, but I had done so. My mind had finally broken.
It was shattered beyond repair. “How could I fix this?” I thought to myself. I
would see my own children die while I remained eternal. I would miss them
growing up, getting married and having children. I was missing everything.

Suddenly I realized life
was not passing me by. My life had stalled and would not start back up again.
It was like being stuck in an elevator and you did not know if you would ever
get out of it or if it would move again. Every second, every heartbeat brought
my family closer to death and here I was stuck. Never moving forward. The
thought saddened me.

I don’t know how long I
slept, or whatever this is. I had broken and I wanted to desperately escape the
reality of what my life had become. I was a monster. Every once in while I
would stray from this suspended state. I could hear Jack, he worried over me.
Once, I thought he must have regretted making me. Just when I thought the
words, I felt his hand on mine and I saw not regret but love. He worried about
his decision and he did not regret it. He was waiting for me to find myself. He
was waiting for me to find my way out. Out of all of the vampires he had ever
met in his existence, I am the one who struggles the most with what I have
become. I am the one who had lost the most.  

Jack has always patient
with me. In this suspended state I saw flashes of my previous life. I fought to
keep those memories. My thoughts were always on my children. This has been the
darkest part of my life. Had I been human, I don’t think Lithium would have
worked on me. I could feel Ambrogio’s thoughts enter my own and I would retreat
further into my mind.

I sat statuesque for what
seemed like an eternity. I was not ready to face my life just yet. I wanted to
be alone to allow my fractured mind heal. I wanted to continue to dream about
holding my children in my arms. To dream I was back with them in a live that
was normal and simple. At times the thoughts of the mortals would break through
and I could hear their hopes and dreams. Again I would retreat further into
myself. I did not want to think about what they wanted. I envied them their
warmth, their life, their death. I could not yet come out of my mind until I
could heal it and let go of the past. I had to let go in order to save myself
and save my family from self-destructing. It was not because I did not know
how? It was always because I was not ready to let them go. They are what has
keep me grounded in this life. My family has always been my everything. 

At times, blood red tears
would escape my eyes and Jack would gently wipe them away. Sometimes I would
find my mind on the girl, reliving that horrible moment. That moment was
torture. I was living my own hell on earth. I just wanted to end it all, but I
could not do it. Immortality does not give you a way out. You have to learn how
to fight your own personal demons; otherwise, you would lose yourself.

The moment I broke. Jack
took care of the girl. I refused to enter his mind see what he had done or what
had happened to her. When he found me it had frightened him to no end. He was
not sure if I had been injured in some way. He had tried to wake me and he
found I would not waken. He knew this was not true death. I don’t know how long
I sat there in the muddy marsh, catatonic before he found me and brought me
home. I was so lost and broken.

I felt a familiar fuzzy
haze. “Ambrogio,” I thought. Suddenly my mind swirled. He is intoxicated and
breaking into my mind somehow. I put up mental walls and still he would go
through them. He would go through as if they were not even there. Finally, I
was too tired and intoxicated to continue. I felt a mental snap. Where I took
Ambrogio’s pain, he was trying to repay the favor and take my pain into himself.

It was beginning to annoy
me. I was beginning to hate the intoxicating effect he was projecting to me.
The longer he was in my head the more I wakened. Little by little he forced me
out of my state. It was a mental battle amongst two drunken minds. Only I was
not truly intoxicated. Ambrogio was making me feel what he wanted me to in
order to weaken my mind and be able to invade it. He was truly calculating.

“Damn you,” Ambrogio, I
said when I left my mind. I was still groggy and I felt it. My head still
swirled in a drunken haze. I tried to shake it off. Ambrosio was not yet going
to lift whatever it was he does.

“Did someone call out my
name?” He innocently asked, only I saw two of him. Double the trouble I
thought. It was taking some time for my head to clear. I know there was only
one Ambrogio. Always one and never more. I wanted to curse him back to the hole
he crawled out of, but in reality I was quite pleased to see him.

I saw Jack appear at
Ambrogio’s side. I was still hazy but no longer intoxicated. I did not know
whether to be mad or retreat again. Before I could retreat into my mind again, Ambrogio’s
words stopped me. I began to feel that wonderful haze and the world was
spinning again. If he wanted to he could have probably kept in this state
indefinitely.  

“We have a problem?” he
said. That stopped me in my tracks. I felt a chill run down my spine. I did not
want to hear what he had to say. I was so lost in my own pain that I did not
want to feel someone else’s.  

“What could possibly be
the problem, other than my children will one day die, and there is nothing I
can do about it. I will have to sit back and watch them wither and die before
my very eyes,” I spat out.

“How can you, the lovely
Salome, be so selfish in a time of need? He asked in his laid back manner.

As much as I cared for
Ambrogio he was beginning to get on my nerves. I crouched into a defensive
pose. I was angry at the world. I was angry with Ambrogio for forcing me to
bear witness to the mortality of my own children.

“Salome,” Jack started. He was in disbelief over
my tone and attitude. “Please,” he begged. I entered his thoughts. What I saw
there frightened me. The body count, so many, unnatural deaths.

“What day is it,” I asked quietly in disbelief of
what it was I had just seen.

“Wednesday,” answered Jack. “Wednesday, April 6,” he
clarified for me.

I looked at him stunned. It had been six months
since I retreated into myself. Six months since the girl had died. I did not
want to see the images in Jacks mind. I was glad he chose this moment to block
me out. I did not want to know what had occurred during this time. I just
wanted to know that my children were still alive, but for the moment I would
have to wait to find out.

“Ambrogio, what brings you here to New Orleans?” I
asked.

“My villa was attacked. Some rogue fed on my family,”
he replied. Each word dripped in a cool collected anger. I did not and could
not understand who or why his villa was attacked. It was beyond my
comprehension and from their faces, it was beyond theirs as wells.  

I remembered Amrogio’s help. They were like family
to him. Many of the people there were descendants of those who served him
during his mortal life. He has treated them as family and appreciated them. He
would protect him. There was an unfaltering loyalty there.

“Who would do such a thing?” I asked of him.

“The attack occurred shortly after your departure.
I followed the feign here and New Orleans has been his hunting ground since
your... ah... departure,” he told me. He was a bit hesitant to disclose this
information to me, which seemed odd.

“How many?” I asked him.

“The count in New Orleans alone is approaching
ninety.”

“How many?” I asked again.

“Almost six hundred from Europe, Mexico and New
Orleans,” he responded solemnly, “maybe more.” It was a somber time. I could
feel the anticipation growing inside of me with every word. We must all be
cautious. If there was a vampire hunting humans and immortal alike, then we are
all damned.

“That many. How? What is going on?” I wondered out
loud.

“I saw the feign when he attacked my people. He is
rogue. I have never seen him before. I have followed his trail from Italy,
Mexico and now here. It appears he is always one step ahead of me. I get close
enough to him and suddenly he is gone. It appears he has been following you
two,” he explained.

“What do you mean that he has been following us?”
I asked. Shocked by what I had just heard from his lips.

I caught a glimpse of him. He looked oddly familiar.
I scanned my memories for the man, and I find him. I focus on my last memory of
human life and project it to Jack. In this version of my death I did not recall
seeing this man there. Then I focus on the other memory, the one with the
unknown man from my last assailants mind, the witness to my death and also
project it to him.

He is surprised. He too does not know who the man
is, nor what would be the reason for his ravenous thirst. It seemed that his
murderous rampage had a more sport like feel to it. The only difference in my
memory and Ambrogio’s is that in my memory the man is mortal and in his memory
the man is a vampire.

“How can this be?” Ambrogio asked. He hacked into
my mind again. Ambrogio is like a computer hacker except for vampires. It is an
awkward experience to have Ambrogio invade your mind. I knew that when I did
you did not feel the mental assault. I did not think he did this intentionally.
I think he did it because he expected you to yield to him. His mental assault
would leave you vulnerable, every thought, every dream you ever had was open
for him to see.

“I don’t know,” Jack and I both answered
simultaneously.

Without a word Jack walked out of the room,
leaving Ambrogio and I in the great room. My body ached, it burned, it yearned
for nourishment. I realized I had not fed in six months. I could hear Jack on
the phone in the other room He was gone for several minutes. When he returned,
he just said we had to hunt and then he would tell us. I caught most of the
conversation, though just his side. He had summoned a council.

I did not know such a thing as a vampire council
existed. I have been a vampire by this point for almost four years, of course I
slept for the last six months. I looked down myself and realized I was wearing
a powder blue silk dress with a drooping neckline. I looked at Jack for
explanation. He smiled and cocked his brow.

“It looks beautiful on you,” he said.

“Not that, do you really think I want to go
hunting in a dress?” I asked with a smile.

“Right,” he said.

I ran up the stairs and was down in a minute in
jeans, a beautiful white peasant top and black riding boots. I braided my hair
on my descent. The braid was simple, but elegant. I heard Jack’s breath catch.
I heard Ambrogio chuckle.

“Shall we go?” I asked.

We walked the streets of the French Quarter in our
hunt. Jack held my hand in his firm grasp. He was worried I would make myself
known without a second thought. He was trying to protect the innocent from me.
I focused my thoughts to the people of New Orleans, seeking that one thought,
but I found none. The streets were silent. I could catch the fear of being the
next target in the minds of the humans. The murders were a highly discussed
topic these days. You could practically feel the tension in the air. Human
blood is not on the menu today.

I shake my head and head for the Louisiana swamps
to hunt. I need to invest in a blood bank I tell myself. Just like Ambrogio.  

“Not a bad idea?” I hear Jack say.

“When you think about it, we would not have to
kill anyone, and the blood would be donated, with no one the wiser and no life
lost,” I said.

“I bought the blood bank near my villa when I
learned that blood could be safely stored. Our methods are highly advanced. I
used it more for the salvation of those who rely on it. It makes it easier for
me to not have to go hunting when I could have the blood delivered to me by the
staff,” Ambrosio explained.

I imagined it had pained him to take a life when
he had to feed and now no life is lost and he using the same method to donate
blood to the humans. I saw Ambrogio nod and smile in agreement to my unspoken
thought.

I take down a buck, a doe, a couple of wild boars,
and a cat. Purely accidental. I swear. When your instincts take over, it makes
it a little difficult to stop them. It becomes difficult to determine the
innocent from our dinner. Had we been hunting an evil human being and an
innocent happened to be in the way while we fed, then Lord have mercy on our
souls. The cat just happened to wonder into the hunt.

Jack laughs at this faux pas.

“Well,” I said, “it certainly beats sewer rats.
Those filthy beasts.” We all laugh lightly.

I could not help it I loved Jack more and he loved
me back. He has been patient with me, but I know we would still wait for that
declaration, my human family still stands in the way.