Ever (17 page)

“You’re back,” a husky, relieved voice resonated close to my ear. “Aren’t you? Can you move? Talk?”

Jaren.

With shock, I realized that I was lying in his lap. His arms were around me, holding me close to his body. My own arms were slung around his waist in a halfhearted embrace.

Oh. My. God
.

“What happened?” My tongue was thick in my mouth.

“Shh. Just take a few minutes,” he murmured, letting out a sigh of what I could only assume was relief.

As I struggled to process the fact that I was cradled in Jaren Wilder’s arms, images suddenly slammed into my brain. I sat straight up like a shot, bumping his chin with the top of my head.

“Whoa—!”

“The crying girl! I have to help her!” I bolted, stumbling in the darkness. My body screamed at me for denying it that heady warmth, but I kept going. I nearly tripped but recovered just as Jaren grasped my arm. More heat danced along my arm at his touch, distracting me. But I couldn’t deny the importance of what had happened—or the urgency. I managed to pull away from him. Larger things were at stake here.

“I have to go back! I couldn’t see! I didn’t hear enough!” I babbled, my voice breaking.

The Tree! Maybe if I touched it again, I could go back to—to wherever it was I’d been—and figure out who the crying girl was and what she meant to do on the seventh of April.
I have to know.
I whirled and raced back, hearing Jaren’s muffled curse from somewhere on my right.

“Ever! Stop!”

I ignored him. Even though it was pitch black, I ran unerringly back to the low wooden fence. I had one leg slung over it when he reached me.

“No!” I kicked at him, feeling my sneaker connect with what was probably his stomach.

“Oof!”

I felt a twinge of guilt. Jaren didn’t deserve that. But I wasn’t about to let him deter me from my goal. Except that he did. Jaren yanked me bodily from the fence and dragged me away kicking and yelling.

“Calm down!”

“Don’t you understand? I have to go back. You took me out, didn’t you?” Somehow, I knew that he was responsible for my vision ending so abruptly. “Why did you do that? I was so close!”

I managed to free one hand and I used it to push at him. Jaren sank to his knees and the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back—and he was lying on top of me. Although the feel of the long length of him against me set my body on fire, the position only renewed my efforts to free myself. I had to get back to my vision.

“Get off of m—!”

This was not how I expected this particular thing to happen. In fact, I had pretty much assumed it would
never
happen. Not to me. And certainly not with this boy. But it did. In a forest of giant sequoias bathed in moonlight, with stars scattered across an inky black canvas, I had my first kiss.

Jaren’s mouth came down on mine with rough determination. Dimly, I recognized that he was trying to distract me. It worked. For a moment I wasn’t sure what he was doing. Then the rest of my brain just turned off.

Oh, the feel of his lips on my own. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. Little bursts of light exploded behind my eyelids as his mouth moved against mine. He tasted like boy and salt and sandalwood.

My lips parted in surprise and delight as Jaren deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking against my own. I heard myself let out a sound that was so filled with need I could hardly believe it came from my own mouth. I arched against Jaren, feeling the hardness of his chest against me. My hand curled into his hair.

Something new was happening. A warm ball of energy was swelling low in my belly, seeking…searching for something. Everything in me wanted to get closer to him, to blur the lines that separated his soul from my own. I wriggled with frustration. Fervently, I began to wish that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. My hand crept to the hem of his jacket, my fingers itching to feel the warmth of his skin.

Abruptly, Jaren tore his mouth away and I cried out in dismay. I lay there panting, as he disentangled himself. My entire body was literally buzzing. I rolled to my side, hugging my knees up to my chest. Oh my God, what was I doing? My first kiss and I was acting like a total…slut! An image of myself, dressed in one of those skimpy dresses the Candy Girls wore flashed through my mind and immediately, a cold ball of shame rose up to punch me square in the stomach. I was pathetic. Jaren had only kissed me to distract me…I was sure of that.

I crawled to my knees, still trying to catch my breath. I touched a finger to my lips. They felt swollen. I was filled with regret for what had happened—because I knew he didn’t—he
couldn’t
mean it. He wasn’t into me that way. I mean, how could he be? I wanted to just sink into the forest floor, beneath the dirt. Well, Jaren had accomplished his goal—The Tree and the crying girl were now the last things on my mind.

I managed to get to my feet. Then I squared my shoulders and stalked back to the golf cart. I tripped a few times, but I made it back to the passenger seat before I did anything else that was totally humiliating. I heard Jaren’s feet taking slow, measured steps down the path. I pulled my hoodie over my face, picturing it cloaking me, masking my energy from him.

The feet stopped right beside me.

“Ever.”

His voice was tinged with regret. Of course it was, I told myself miserably. Tonight had been a totally regrettable experience. I felt like Jaren was trying to read me, in that special way he had, and I tightened my invisible cloak to avoid his energetic perusal.

“How are you…?” His voice trailed off, and even though I refused to look at him, I could sense Jaren’s shrug. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

We drove back to the campsite in silence. I struggled to contain my sobs the entire way. When we parked the golf cart, I jumped out without saying a word. I took off like a wild animal, careening through the woods until I was back inside my tent, listening to the other girls snore. Jaren didn’t try to follow me, and I was glad.

Naomi’s soft whisper startled me. “Where were you?”

“I had to pee,” I whispered back, trying to force the huge lump from my throat. I rustled inside my sleeping bag on the squeaky, metal-framed cot, trying to find some comfort.

Sleep didn’t come. Not for a long time.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

What Should We Do Now?

T
he ride home was awful. I had ensured that I was already ensconced in one of the back rows with Naomi before Jaren appeared. The last thing I needed was to be sitting in front of him, wondering if he was looking my way. Or not looking. I didn’t have to feign illness because I felt sick to my stomach the entire way back. I alternated between staring out the window and pretending to be asleep, while maintaining the visualization of my energy shield. I wanted to hide from everybody. Especially Jaren Wilder.

My mom was waiting to pick me up. I mumbled my goodbyes to Val, Naomi, and Dara and hopped into the car.

“Was it all you expected?” my mom asked.

“It was…educational,” I replied, feeling my cheeks heat. “What did you do while I was gone?” I had no idea what my mom did when she wasn’t at work, other than bake amazing sugary treats. It was strange to think of my mom as a person with her own interests apart from just being my mom. But once, she was just like me.

Or maybe not.

“I picked up a few extra shifts at the office. Other than that, I was a little bored,” my mom admitted, smiling at me in the rearview mirror. “Any chance you’d be interested in a game of Kings’ Corners?”

The card game had been my favorite when I was a kid. Lately, I had turned down cards with my mom in favor of holing up in my room. She was at work most of the time, anyway. Then hanging out with Val, Naomi and Dara had taken precedence over time with her. I felt a little guilty. After all she had done for me, I had shut my mom out after Gram passed. It wasn’t exactly a conscious choice, but nothing had seemed normal anymore without Gram, and I guess I just didn’t know how to function in my family anymore. Now, I needed my mom more than ever.

I smiled back, grateful that she hadn’t given up on me. “Sure. Once I clean up.”

As steam began to emanate from the shower, my thoughts returned to Jaren. What were his parents like? It sounded like they knew a lot about the energy stuff. Did his brother know about it, too? My fingers went to my mouth and my pulse began to race as the memory of his lips on mine bubbled to the surface.

Jaren Wilder kissed me. Really kissed me. There was no denying my embarrassing response, either—I had grabbed the guy’s hair and practically groped him. Jaren had broken the kiss the second I had started to respond, like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

Jaren had only kissed me to distract me from getting back to The Tree. Actually, it was kind of a low down thing to do. I mean, what right did he have to steal my first kiss to prevent me from doing something I really wanted to do? The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was done feeling embarrassed and sorry for myself and I wanted to fight with him about it, but he wasn’t here. With great effort, I managed to let my feelings of anger and painful humiliation slip away, for the time being. A hot shower, some food, and a game of cards proved to be enough to turn my thoughts from Jaren. I anticipated a long, dreamless sleep.

But as it turned out, restful sleep was not in the cards for me that evening.

* * *

Tap—tap—tap.

Someone was knocking at our front door. I rolled over in bed and covered my head with my pillow.

Tap—tap—tap.

Why didn’t whoever it was just ring the doorbell? And where was my mom? The noise continued until I shoved my covers off with an exasperated groan, rousing Bear, who was warm against me. I looked at the clock and was not surprised to see that it was 2:47 a.m.

Another freaking forty-seven.

I groaned and sat up, slipping my feet into my flip-flops. I was sore from sleeping on a creaky cot with old, rusty springs. I rubbed my hand against my lower back where my tank top had ridden up. Stretching, I was about to take a step toward my bedroom door when I heard the tapping sound again. Bear poked her head up and oriented toward the sound. My heart leapt into my throat as I realized that the noise wasn’t coming from our front door.

It was coming from my window.

My hand went to my pendant. I had come to trust its vibrations and prickles. It was cool to the touch at first, but as I approached the window, it hummed in recognition. The feeling was comforting, calming. Even though I was spooked, my crystal was telling me not to be afraid. Hesitantly, I lifted the blinds and then let them drop with an audible slap when I saw what was tapping on the glass. Or rather,
who.

He gave another sharp rap to my window and it was loud enough to wake my mom.

I slid the window open a crack. “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“I need to talk to you. Pop the screen.”

“No!” Was he insane? I was not about to let him into my bedroom in the dead of night. I took quick stock of my faded black tank, my lack of a push-up bra, and my ratty gray sweats.

Heck, no!

“I’m not asking you, Ever. I’m
telling
you to pop the screen. Now.”

If it were anyone else taking that dominating tone with me, they would have received the finger and a permanent cold shoulder to go along with it. But for some reason, a thrill went down my spine. Well, I wanted to have it out with him anyway. Here was my chance.

“Fine. Hold on a sec.” I pulled a long tee shirt over my tank and finger combed my hair in an unsuccessful attempt to tame my bed head.

I lifted the blinds again and slid my window open slowly, fearing that the slightest noise would wake my mom.
Pop the screen, he says?
I had never even sneaked out of the house, let alone invited a boy into my bedroom in the middle of the night. Tentatively, I pushed at the mesh, feeling along until I felt a metal tab sticking out. I pulled it up and shoved. The screen fell into Jaren’s waiting hands. He leaned it against side of our house.

“Stand back. I’m coming in.”

My heart was hammering about a million times a second. A boy, and not just any boy, was actually climbing through my bedroom window in the middle of the night. He did it with grace, too. Of course, Jaren was as coordinated as a jungle cat. It figured. I was so clumsy that I would probably break my ankle doing the same.

As he glanced around, I took another step back, feeling self-conscious about my small bedroom. I turned on my bedside table lamp because it felt too dark, but I couldn’t look at Jaren. Meeting his eyes felt too intimate just now.

“Why are you here?” I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice.

“I came to see if you were okay. I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry.”

Shouldn’t have kissed me.
That was what he meant to say.

Even in the dim light, Jaren was so freaking gorgeous I couldn’t stand it. I was
so
not in his league. Maybe I was interesting to him because we had some kind of magic in common, but he wasn’t
interested.
That’s what he was saying. Well, just because Jaren was honest didn’t make his confession easier to bear.