Ever So Madly (26 page)

Authors: J.R. Gray

Chapter Fifty-Five

Madden

I growled when she offered to run off. I struggled against those still trying to help me.

“Let me go. You’re not letting her take the heat of this.”

They held up their hands and backed up. I took my blaster out of my holster. Holding it up I nodded that I was ready to proceed. As soon as Jacob peeked out from behind the corner we took fire. Jocelynn positioned herself. I growled deep in my chest pushing one foot in front of the other to drag her back.

Phillip grabbed my shoulder and squeezed, sending shooting pain down my arm. “Those two are a unique pair. Let them work.”

“You’re not giving me much choice,” I snarled.

Phillip half shrugged in his condescending way. Had I not had a large hole in my chest I would have hit him, not only for holding me back, but for all the times he touched her. They could claim what they wanted, but Phillip had feelings for her. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he watched her.

We both watched her. She picked off the shooters with her brother one by one. It was a sight.

“We are clear,” Jacob called over his shoulder offering his hand to J to help her off from where she had lain on her belly shooting.

Lincoln, blaster raised, stalked out into the bay. No one else shot at him. “Get a damn move on. We need to get ’er off the ground now.”

Jocelynn took my arm, and I let her help me. We crossed the short space to the ship. I was going to have to fight for her. The battle wasn’t over just because I’d won this fight with Phillip. She had power, and even among rebels it was going to be a fight to protect her. She was like a hurricane. She would tear even the strongest walls down, but even if you gripped her with both hands she would slip through your fingers like air. I had to ride a fine line with keeping Phillip away from her and not holding on too tight.

“You’ll never be able to go home, Jocelynn.”

Jacob turned at the top of the gangplank and looked at her. “Oh, if they catch ’er she’ll go home, in iron cuffs I reckon. Won’t be pretty.”

“Madden, whatever that puts in our path it will be worth it at your side. This is the right thing to do.”

I took her hand in mine and kissed her fingers. “Let’s go then.”

We turned our backs on them and inhaled. I took a step, then another walking up the gangplank of the starship.

Boots pounded on metal, and I felt her warm hand on mine. I laced our fingers together. “Whatever we have to face, it’ll be together.”

We ducked into the cramped interior, and the entryway was lined with hard faces all staring at us. “Together,” I whispered.

Epilogue

Madden

I lived and breathed pain, and not the good kind. I was torn apart from the inside out, and my body didn’t want to heal. Bullets had ravaged me. For the first time in my life, I’d fought to stay alive. Sure, I’d been in some tight scrapes, but I’d never cared if I’d lived through them.

The pain became a turning point. I lived on purpose. I wasn’t some joke the cosmos played anymore.

“You’re awake.”

“I am.” The words felt like fire leaving my mouth. “Water?”

She already had a cup in hand and pressed the straw between my lips. The water went down a little easier than the words came out.

“We’re good?” I asked.

“Well on our way.” She pushed her fingers into my hair.

“You came for me. You threw away everything.”

“Not everything.” She held up her wrist so I could see the band there. “But I couldn’t get rid of these if I tried.”

“No, I suppose not.” I closed my eyes. “It’s us against the world now?”

“I like the sound of us.”

“Me too,” I said.

She stretched out beside me, trying not to touch me, but I wanted it. I wanted to feel her, even if it caused more pain. “Come here.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Feeling you is being alive. I’m glad I’m alive.”

“Even with this shit show we’ve walked into?” She tentatively got closer, until she was pressed up against my side and her head leading against mine.

“Like I said, us against the world.” I opened my eyes again. “What about your brother?”

“I don’t know.” She looked into my eyes, and there was all love there.

“You haven’t talked to him yet.”

“No, I’ve been here. You’re more important.” She stroked her fingers over my cheek.

“Can’t get enough of touching me?”

“I thought I’d never get to again,” she said.

“Me too.” I exhaled too fast and winced. “Don’t write your brother off. He’s a good ally to have.”

“How can you say that? He tried to keep us apart.”

“We are here, and I suspect he had his reasons. Jacob always has a reason. I’ve learned that much about him.” I turned my head and pressed my lips to her temple. “I’m alive and I love you, which he’s partly responsible for. We’ll figure the rest out together.”

“I love you, too.”

“Don’t avoid him forever.”

****

Jocelynn

I stood at the window, watching Harden getting further and further away. I’d only been there a short time, and I was ready to never see the planet again. But probably not as happy as Madden was to see it fading in the distance. I heard the footsteps long before my brother approached me. I knew it was him before he placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Can we talk.” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement.

I looked over at him. The weight on his shoulders had multiplied overnight. There were bags under his eyes, and I wasn’t sure I recognized him anymore.

“I guess.”

“Are you ever going to forgive me?” Even his voice was hollow.

“I’m not sure I can.” I broke the eye contact opting to stare back into the blackness of space.

“I was trying to do the right thing.”

“The right thing would have been to trust me.”

He lent out a breath he’d probably been holding for years. “You were—are—the heir to the House Akillie. You lived and breathed it. It was easier to let you believe me the fuck up than for you have to choose between me and what you’d been raised for.”

“And when I was wavering? When my heart was being ripped from my chest you let me believe it all.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“Not only that, you tried to keep me from him.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

I turned on him, standing at my full height. “Then what was it like?”

“You had to go through with the coronation.”

I took a slow breath, calming myself instinctively, from the years of training I’d had in dealing with these types of situations. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until the words were on my lips. I was still exactly who they’d raised me to be, and it was going to take a lot of soul searching to find myself, and then even more work to break the habits. It wasn’t entirely Jacob’s fault, but I hated him a little bit for it.

“I should have been free to make my own choices.”

“You have always been free to make your own choices, Jocelynn.”

“No, you withheld information from me. You treated me like a pawn. It was us against everyone else, at least I thought it was, but you joined a different side and left me to rot.” My chest tightened. He was blood. He was the only family I’d ever claimed. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”

“I wanted to tell you.”

I searched his face, and I thought there was truth there, but I didn’t trust myself when it came to reading him anymore. “There is no explanation you could give now.”

“I love him.”

I froze. The world stopped. “Phillip?”

He nodded.

My mouth went dry, but I forced myself to speak. “I was wondering how he played into all of this.”

I’d been too wrapped up in myself to see it. Phillip spending so much time on Trenton. Them whispering together. The scenes flashed before my eyes, and I finally saw the story. I could even see Jacob dabbling on the fringes of the Red Stars and meeting the Emperor to be.

“Does he love you?”

“I hope so.” Jacob looked away.

“So, you two came up with the idea for him and me to be together, and then you’d have an excuse to be together.” It clicked into place, one by one. The puzzle I’d been looking at for months, suddenly changed by adding one piece.

“Basically.”

“Then why did he spend so much time with me? He had me convinced he wanted me…” I wasn’t sure what was real anymore.

“If you weren’t convinced, do you think the Baron would have been? We couldn’t let anyone see through this. It was too dangerous.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to tell you everything, but you wouldn’t listen. There was just no getting through to you.”

“So, you blocked my comm?” It was impossible not to let my anger color every reaction with him.

“I didn’t, but I know who probably did to get you through coronation and the engagement with as few problems as possible.”

“You risked me losing Madden. He would have been gone.” I pressed my eyes closed. The fear of losing him was still to close like an open wound. It festered.

“I didn’t know until after he did it. We were trying to do what was best.” The conviction showed in his tone. “It was a clear one hand not speaking to the other. They didn’t know this had all been arranged. It’s a large organization, with so many working parts.”

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me.”

“I see that now. I’m sorry. If anyone understands what love does to the mind you do.” He dropped his head, and it hung between his shoulders like a weight.

“Then why let me see him at all? Why share the tech?” I wanted to know everything. I wanted to see the entire picture for myself.

“It wasn’t my idea. I didn’t know they’d shared it with him until it was too late.”

“Why’d they share it with him? If they already had him on the hook?”

“It was decided above my head that who controls him, controls you. Clearly they wanted him on his own merit, but controlling you is a bonus.”

I felt sick. Bile rose in my throat. “And I walked right into their arms.”

“You both did.”

“And you followed?” The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

“What did you expect me to do? I couldn’t sit back and watch them take control of you. I might agree with their cause, but you weren’t ever something I planned on handing them.”

“And why did Phillip follow?”

“His absence is easier to explain than mine. He has a history of going off the grid, but I assume he followed me for similar reasons as you following Madden to that hellhole of a planet.” He stared back at me with my own eyes.

“You don’t get to keep things from me.”

“I know.”

He held out his hand, and when I took it he pulled me into his embrace. “We need each other. The four of us do.”

“What now?” I asked.

He tightened the embrace and brought his lips to my ear. “We take control.”

The End

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