Everybody Say Amen (19 page)

A
ngela knew she shouldn’t be doing this, but no matter what some judge said, she would never feel comfortable with her son around Jonathan.

After that mess with the police showing up at her house last week, she probably should’ve stayed as far away as possible from Zion Hill and the Jackson clan. But she couldn’t help herself; this was her child, for Christ’s sake.

Last night was Chase’s first overnight visit, and she’d been a nervous wreck all night. She knew they’d be here at church this morning, so she had to come see how Chase was doing.

Angela shifted in the pew, then pushed her sunglasses up on her nose before pulling her big floppy hat down to hide her face. The sight of Jonathan laughing and smiling as he introduced Chase to everyone at church made her sick to her stomach. Maybe she should’ve just taken her son and run. But what kind of life would that have been for Chase?

“Excuse me. Is someone sitting there?”

Angela looked up at the elderly woman trying to take the seat next to her. The robust woman looked like she wanted Angela to move down and let her sit on the end. But Angela wasn’t moving. She needed to be on the end so she could keep a close eye on Jonathan and her child. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but she was on a mission.

“You gon’ move down or you want me to step my arthritic legs over you?” the woman said.

Angela didn’t respond, but did move her legs to the side to let the woman pass.

Fifteen minutes later when Rachel asked visitors to stand and be greeted, the elderly woman stood up. Angela knew she was supposed to greet the woman, but she wasn’t in church for that. She folded her arms and looked away.

“I guess you just ain’t gon’ say nothing to me, huh?” the old lady asked. “If this is how black folks act in Houston, I know I need to go back to Sweet Poke. Can’t even speak to nobody in the Lord’s house.”

“Mama Tee, what are you doing here?” A short, plus-size woman with wild, reddish mini dreadlocks stopped at the end of their aisle, reached over Angela, and hugged the old woman.

“Hey, Shereen, baby,” the woman said. “I’m just here with Nikki, you know she goes here now. We’re in town visiting my brother, and you know I had to come to church.”

“That’s right. Rae did say you’d be here this weekend. I’ll have to call her.”

Angela wondered if they were going to hold a whole conversation over her.

“Who’s this?” Shereen motioned to Angela.

“Somebody that needs Jesus,” Mama Tee loudly responded. “She ain’t with me.”

“Oh.” Shereen flashed a smile. Angela looked away. She was glad when they said their good-byes and Shereen returned to her seat.

By the time they got to the sermon, Angela was just ready for service to be over. She wanted the whole day to be over so she could get her child back.

Mama Tee leaned in to Angela. “Let it go, chile,” she whispered.

“Excuse me?”

“Let whatever is eating you go. You letting the devil fill your heart. Let go and let God.” She gently patted Angela’s leg and turned her attention back to Lester, who was preaching about, of all things, forgiveness.

Angela felt tears forming as she actually began to focus on Lester’s message. Would she ever be able to forgive Jonathan? Shoot, could she even forgive God, for that matter? Angela could count on one hand the number of times she’d been to church over the last seven years. She was angry with God and just hadn’t been able to get over it.

“I’m gon’ pray for you,” Mama Tee whispered as Lester wrapped up his sermon. “ ’Cause I got a feeling you can’t pray for yourself right about now.”

Angela nodded, suddenly regretting that she’d been so mean to the woman. She managed to concentrate on the rest of the service, although she continued to steal glances at Jonathan and Chase. The little boy seemed to be adapting well. Too well, in fact.

Most of the congregation had left when Jonathan and Chase finally emerged. Jonathan was talking and laughing with some man as they walked out of the church. Angela straightened up against her car and narrowed her eyes at the sight of Jonathan and the man. Chase was right behind them. She felt her fury building as she watched Jonathan and the man together. The way they were being so attentive, the way they were looking at each other. And with her son standing right there!

Angela could no longer contain her anger. She raced across the parking lot and didn’t stop until she was hitting Jonathan in the chest.

“I can’t believe you have my child out here witnessing this nasty behavior!” She didn’t know what had come over her, but she just kept swinging. “I knew this would happen. You’re going to scar my son for life!”

By this time, Chase was crying and screaming, Jonathan was trying to shield himself from her blows, and the man he was with was trying to grab her. Several other people had gathered outside as well. No one could seem to get through to Angela. She was screaming as tears ran down her cheeks, “I hate you! I hate you!”

“Angela! What are you doing?” Her cousin, Melanie, was in front of her now.

“He…Jonathan…I knew he was going to do this,” Angela sobbed as she fell in her cousin’s arms. “He’s out here parading his lover in front of my child! He’s going to make my child like him.”

Angela ignored the crowd gathered around her. She only focused on Chase, who was clutching Jonathan’s leg, fear all over his face.

“Come here, baby. Get away from him,” Angela said.

“Angela, what is wrong with you?” Jonathan demanded.

“Angela. Why don’t we go inside.”

Angela looked over to find Rachel by her side. She was surprised by the sincere look on Rachel’s face. But she wasn’t fooled. They were all in this together, the whole Jackson clan.

“Get away from me. I can’t stand any of you,” Angela cried. “Chase, come on.”

Jonathan stepped in front of Chase to stop him from leaving.

Angela glared at Jonathan. “Let my child go.”

“Angela, please calm down.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me. I will not have my child witnessing you and your lovers!” She motioned dramatically toward the man Jonathan had been talking to.

Jonathan shook his head, motioning for the man to come over. “Angela, I want you to meet—”

“I don’t want to meet him!”

Jonathan took a deep breath. “Angela, this is my cousin, Jeffrey. He’s just visiting for the weekend.”

Angela stared in disbelief. “Your cousin?”

Rachel stepped up closer to her. “
Our
cousin. My dad’s brother’s son. Ask Melanie.” Rachel’s voice was surprisingly gentle.

Angela looked at Melanie, who still had a look of horror on her face. She slowly nodded.

Angela buried her face in her hands. “Oh, my God. I am so sorry.”

Rachel put her arm around Angela. “Come on inside for a minute,” she whispered.

“I’ll take her home,” Melanie snapped.

Rachel looked at her. “Please, Melanie. Let’s just get her inside for a minute.”

Melanie glanced around at the crowd and must’ve decided that wasn’t such a bad idea. She followed them in.

J
onathan inhaled deeply and knocked on the door to Rachel’s office. Jeffrey had taken Chase for ice cream so Jonathan could make sure Angela was all right.

The whole scenario had caught him totally off guard. Angela was like a crazy woman. It made him realize the depth of her pain.

“Hey, Rach. It’s me, Jonathan.”

“Hold on,” Rachel called out. He heard some mumbling, then Rachel opened the door.

“Is she okay?” Jonathan whispered.

Rachel’s eyes were red as if she’d been crying as well. “She’s okay.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Maybe now’s not a good time,” Rachel said. That surprised Jonathan; normally she wouldn’t have been so sympathetic to Angela.

“No, it’s all right. Let him in,” Angela said from behind the door.

Rachel eased the door open. Angela was sitting on the sofa, a box of Kleenex in her lap.

“Melanie, how about we give them a moment,” Rachel said.

Melanie flashed a skeptical look at Rachel. “You sure about this?” she asked Angela.

Angela nodded and Melanie got up and walked outside.

Jonathan waited until they closed the door. “Angela…”

“This is so embarrassing. I’m sorry,” she said, not looking up at him.

Jonathan sat down next to her. “Don’t be.”

“Where’s Chase?”

“My cousin took him for ice cream.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah. Worried about you, that’s all.”

“I can’t believe I freaked like that,” she said, finally looking up.

“Angela, don’t worry about it. I…I know you’ve been through a lot and you probably just…just let your imagination run rampant.”

She nodded as tears started running down her cheeks again.

“Angela, I know I had some issues with myself and I hurt you in the process of working those out. And I’m going to be honest, I think as long as I have a happy, stable home, Chase will be fine.”

She opened her mouth like she was about to protest. Jonathan held up his finger and cut her off. “But, I told you, out of respect for you, I will not bring anyone…any man I’m involved with around our son. Honestly, that’s not my focus right now anyway. The only thing I want is to build a relationship with Chase.”

“I don’t want my son to be gay.”

Jonathan exhaled. “Angela, it’s not contagious. I just want to be a father to my child. I promise I won’t play with dolls or play hopscotch with him. We’ll do manly stuff like football, fighting, and fishing. How’s that?” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

A small smile crossed her face. “Did that sound as stupid to you as it did to me?”

“Yeah, it did.” Jonathan nodded.

Angela got up and started pacing back and forth. “Jonathan, you will have to bear with me. This isn’t easy. You hurt me so bad that I just shut down. I never dealt with your betrayal. I shut out my family. I shut out God. I didn’t know how to deal with the pain. The only person I allowed into my heart was Chase.”

“I know. And I never want to take that from you. I couldn’t even if I tried. But please, just let me have a little bit of his heart. I promise you, I’ll guard it with my life.”

Angela nodded. “I’m tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of hurting. I just want life to return to normal—whatever that is. So I’ll try, Jonathan. That’s all I can promise you.”

He stood up. “Can you promise me another thing?”

She looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t turn away from God. Don’t let me turn you away from God.”

She smiled gently. “I know I need to rebuild my relationship with God.” She turned to stare out the window at the large cross that towered at the front of the church. “So I guess I can promise that, too.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Jonathan wanted desperately to take her into his arms and hug her. He stared at her back before slowly walking up to her and putting his arms around her waist. Her shoulders sank as she inhaled deeply.

“I will always love you, Angela,” Jonathan whispered.

“But not like I need to be loved,” she whispered back. She took another deep breath, then turned to face him. Her eyes were filled with tears. “Never like I need to be loved.”

Jonathan was just about to respond when the office door swung open.

“Get your grimy paws off her, you sick pervert!”

Angela immediately backed up. “Mother!”

Mrs. Brooks stormed over and stood in front of her daughter. “You disgusting bastard! You’re trying to lure her back to you just so you can break her heart all over again!”

Mrs. Brooks swung her purse and hit Jonathan upside his head.

“Mother!” Angela screamed again as she grabbed Mrs. Brooks’s arm.

“Don’t ‘Mother’ me!” She spun on Angela. “Why would you let him touch you? After everything he’s done.”

Before anyone could say anything else, Rachel came running into the office, out of breath, Melanie close behind her. “Jonathan, I’m sorry,” Rachel said. “She came barreling into the church and got back here before I could stop her.”

“And thank God I did! He was about to seduce my daughter once again.” Mrs. Brooks pushed Angela back. “You are a disgrace before God,” she growled to Jonathan.

Angela moved around in front of her mother. “Mother, what are you doing here?”

“Sister Hicks called me and told me Jonathan was at church with his lover and you saw it and went ballistic. I raced right over here.” She turned back to Jonathan. “And not a moment too soon.”

“Mrs. Brooks, please calm down,” Rachel said.

“And you.” She wagged her purse at Rachel. “Don’t you dare preach to me. Just a family full of deviants!”

“Enough, Mother!” Angela snapped. “This is ridiculous. Yes, I tripped out. But it was uncalled for. Just like this drama you’re causing now.”

Mrs. Brooks put her hand to her chest in shock. “What has he done to you?”

Watching her mother standing there, acting like a plumb idiot fool, confirmed for Angela that it was time to let the past go. “Mother, like it or not, Jonathan is Chase’s father. We have to find a way to all get along.”

“So now you’re okay with him being a booty bumper?” Mrs. Brooks said, her voice laced with disbelief.

Jonathan had had enough. “Mrs. Brooks, I understand your anger because I know I hurt Angela. But this is between me and her. My sexuality is none of your business and I would appreciate it if you stopped with these derogatory remarks. I’m going to see my son. I’m going to build a relationship with my son. And there’s not a thing you can do about it.”

“He’s right, Mother,” Angela added.

Mrs. Brooks’s eyes began to water. “I don’t believe this.” She glared at Angela. “When he brings his deviant behavior around Chase, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that, she spun around and stomped out of the room.

As she left, Jonathan noticed Sister Hicks and Birdie Mae Canton peeking into the office. “Ooo-weeee. This is better than my soaps,” Birdie Mae said.

Jonathan shook his head in disgust and slammed the door.