Read Everybody Say Amen Online
Authors: Reshonda Tate Billingsley
Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Literary, #Romance
R
achel was hoping for an uneventful evening. It had been three days since that madness at church with Angela and her mother. But one good thing had came out of it all: Angela and Jonathan had reached some type of understanding.
Rachel dropped her Bible on her desk as she flipped through her mail. There was a thank-you card from the Good Girlz for all she’d done. That reminded her, she needed to send Sister Morgan and the First Ladies Council a card because they had really helped her in her walk with God. She didn’t think she’d ever be on their level, but they’d definitely helped her grow. And she definitely needed that strength now, because the rumor mills were running rampant.
Everybody had heard about her little fight with Mary Richardson, although people still didn’t know exactly what was behind the fight, nor did they remember Mary from the day she visited church. Rachel had heard everything from she caught the woman and Lester in his office having sex to the woman had slapped her as she walked down the hall.
She was just trying to deal with the rumors until she could work out the details of the divorce, start looking for a new church, and figure out what she was going to do about the Good Girlz.
The phone ringing interrupted her thoughts.
“Hello?”
“Sister Adams? It’s Linda Morgan. I just called to check on you.”
Rachel smiled. Linda always seemed to call right when she needed her most. Rachel hadn’t shared the sordid details of Lester’s infidelity with anyone but Twyla, but it was like Linda knew something was wrong. Maybe she’d heard the rumors, too.
“I’m fine, Sister Morgan. Just taking it one day at a time.”
“Well, I don’t want to get all in your business, but make sure you take it to God as well.”
So she
had
heard something. Rachel wasn’t in the mood to go into any details so she just said, “I hear you, Sister Morgan.”
“Yeah, but do you hear God? I won’t hold you, but just remember, there is a demon assigned to each of us. His sole purpose is to destroy that which brings us joy. Sometimes what we think is God talking to us is actually that demon. We have to pray and listen carefully to decipher God’s voice,” she said.
A look of confusion crossed Rachel’s face. Where was that coming from? And just what was it supposed to mean? As far as she was concerned the only demon that had destroyed her marriage was Lester.
Rachel glanced over at the clock. Seven o’clock. “Sister Morgan, as always thanks for the encouraging words, but I need to get to a meeting.”
“Okay. Just remember if you need me, I’m only a phone call away.”
Rachel said her good-byes and hung up the phone. She wasn’t in the mood to try and decipher what Linda was trying to tell her. Nor was she in the mood to go deal with Birdie Mae and the other women, but they had to meet after Bible study to plan the church’s anniversary celebration. And since the youth were playing a big role in the celebration, Rachel wanted to make sure she was at the meeting, especially because it would probably be the last event she ever did with the church.
Rachel made her way into the sanctuary where she noticed several women in a circle at the pulpit. They were deep in prayer. Rachel couldn’t make out who was in the circle, but she could tell Lester was in the center. She could hear Birdie Mae’s scratchy voice.
“…And Lord, we know you are a faithful God. A forgiving God. Please cleanse this woman’s soul and forgive her for her transgression.”
Rachel wondered why Birdie Mae was praying and not Lester. Even still, she stopped and bowed her head as they finished the prayer.
“These and other blessings we ask in Your name. Amen,” Birdie Mae said.
“Amen,” Rachel mumbled as she made her way up to the front. She stopped in her tracks as the crowd began to disperse and she saw who was at the center of the prayer circle.
“What is she doing here?” Rachel said.
“Excuse me?” Birdie Mae said, turning to her.
“You talking about Mary here?” Sister Hicks said. “This is the lady that gave the testimony in church several weeks ago. She came again this evening seeking prayer. So we’re praying for her.”
Rachel just stood staring at Mary, who had a smirk on her face. Lester stood next to her, sweating bullets.
“I’m even thinking about joining. That is, if you all will have me,” she said innocently.
“Of course we will,” Sister Hicks said.
“Yeah, don’t matter none to us that you white,” Birdie Mae added. Several people cut their eyes at her. “What? She is white,” Birdie Mae snapped.
“Yes, but the Lord is color-blind. We are all God’s children,” Sister Hicks said as she took Mary’s hand. “And we sure would be honored to have you on our church roster. Ain’t that right, Sister Adams?”
Rachel was still in the aisle, stunned at the audacity of this woman.
“Sister Adams, ain’t that right?” Norma Jean Woodruff repeated.
Mary hooked her arm around Lester’s. “After I heard Reverend Adams preach, I just knew this was the church home I’d been looking for.”
“Amen. He is a marvelous preacher, ain’t he?” Sister Hicks said.
“We just lucky to have him,” Norma Jean echoed.
Rachel’s chest started to heave. She turned and raced out of the sanctuary.
Inside her office, she paced back and forth, trying to keep her anger under control. “Do not act a fool. Do not act a fool,” she muttered. Part of her wanted to drop to her knees and pray for the strength not to kill Mary and Lester. The other part wanted to go right into the sanctuary and kill both of them.
Lester eased her office door open. “Rachel?”
Rachel spun around. “Lester, if you know what’s good for you, you will leave me alone.”
Lester stepped into her office and closed the door behind him. “No.”
“No?” These people wouldn’t let her be sane. They would push and push and push until she snapped.
“Rachel, I had no idea she would be here.”
“You know what? I’m so sick of that lame excuse. Nobody was forcing you to stand up in that circle praying with her.”
“What would you suggest I do? Everyone put me on the spot.
She
put me on the spot. She asked me to stand there and pray for her. I was so in shock I couldn’t even speak. That’s why Birdie Mae was praying instead of me.” Lester desperately wanted Rachel to believe him. “I mean, you can’t blame them. None of them were there the day you and Mary got into it. They don’t know what happened between us. They think she’s just some woman in need of prayer.”
Rachel didn’t care anymore. “You know what, Lester? I’m through. I can’t do this.” She couldn’t help it. The tears started flowing. “I changed who I was for you, for these people around here. I’m sick of them and I’m sick of you.”
“Rachel, what did you expect me to do?”
“I expected you to be faithful. To honor your commitment to me. That’s what I expected! No, you might not have been able to control what happened tonight but you could have controlled being in this situation in the first place. If you had never brought her into our lives, we wouldn’t have this problem. I wouldn’t be hurting like I am now.” She grabbed her purse.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. To pack. If you won’t leave, I will. I can’t do this.” Rachel knew she couldn’t wait for a divorce to go through now. She had to get out before she lost her mind.
Lester jumped in front of her. “Please let’s work this out.”
“I can’t. Good-bye, Lester.” Rachel stepped around him.
Lester followed her out, trying to talk to her. Rachel ignored him as she made her way to her car.
“I’m coming home, too. We need to talk about this.”
“There is nothing for us to talk about. And don’t bother coming home. Because I won’t be there.” Rachel got into her car and drove off.
R
achel stood outside of Bobby’s house. She inhaled deeply, trying to shake off that voice that was telling her to turn around. She couldn’t go to her father’s because she was in no mood for a lecture. She didn’t want to keep running hot and cold on Bobby, but right now, she just wanted familiar arms to comfort her.
Rachel ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing up the curls, then brushed down her prairie skirt and adjusted the turquoise belt that was wrapped snugly around her waist.
Bobby opened the door, a shocked look on his face. “Rachel, are you okay?” he said, wiping away a tear she didn’t even realize was trickling down her cheek.
“I’m sorry to come here…I just needed to talk…to be around some…”
“Sshhhh,” he said as he pulled her inside. He eased her down on the sofa. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Rachel couldn’t hold it in. She laid her head on his shoulder and began sobbing. “My marriage is over,” she whimpered.
Bobby held her, stroking her hair for several minutes. “Everything will be okay,” he whispered. He gently lifted her chin. “You’ll get through this,” he said, gazing into her eyes.
Rachel was about to respond when Bobby slowly leaned into her. She felt herself sinking as his lips met hers. Just as his tongue tried to find its way inside her mouth, she pulled away. “Bobby, I…I didn’t come here to lead you on.” Rachel couldn’t deny the attraction she felt, but she knew anything she did right now would be out of pure revenge. Revenge and lust.
“I’m sorry, Rachel. I guess I just got caught up.” He stood, trying to compose himself. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Some chardonnay would be good.”
Bobby nodded as he walked into the kitchen. Rachel closed her eyes, trying to get her thoughts together. Why had she come here again?
“Man, you’ve come a long way from your Boones Farm days.” Bobby laughed, as he returned with two glasses. Rachel could tell he was trying to lighten the mood as he handed her a glass and sat down. “So do you want to tell me what happened?”
Rachel fingered her glass. “Not really.”
Thankfully, he didn’t push her.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened to you and Shante?” Maybe if she could get her mind off her own problems, she’d feel better.
Bobby leaned back and sipped his wine. “You know I was never over you. You knew it when you showed up at my wedding and kissed me. I know you could feel I wasn’t over you in that kiss.”
Rachel remembered that kiss well. He had definitely kissed her back. But when he’d gone ahead and married Shante, she figured she’d imagined the whole thing.
“As precious as Nia is, you hurt me so bad with Tony—I thought the only way I could heal from that was to move on. But I never could. I never could get you out of my system. Shante knew that. It’s why she left.”
Rachel was speechless. She’d never known Bobby still loved her like that. “So, have you filed for divorce?” she finally asked.
“Yeah, we’ve begun the process.”
Rachel weighed his words. What did that mean for her? Especially now that she was divorcing Lester, too? “Bobby, why are you doing this, telling me that you love me?”
“Because I do. I should have told you a long time ago.” He scooted closer to her. He leaned in and began kissing her again, and this time she didn’t stop him as he rubbed his hand up her back under her shirt.
All kinds of emotions were running through her. The battle between good and evil resumed in her head.
What are you doing? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Don’t let Lester’s infidelities steal your commitment to God. Girl, get your groove on!
Rachel felt like her head was about to explode. She tried to pull back. Bobby started kissing her neck.
“Rachel, I have dreamed about this day, holding you in my arms. I just want to be with you. I have never stopped loving you,” he moaned.
Rachel felt her resolve weaken and the good voice dancing in her head started to fade.
Bobby had just unfastened her bra when they heard a loud crash. Both of them jumped off the sofa: a flowerpot had crashed through the window. “I see you in there, you no-good dog!”
Bobby jumped up and raced over to his window. “Shante?” he said.
“Open the door!” she screamed.
Bobby stood stunned for a minute.
“Open the door or I will start screaming so all the neighbors will know you’re in there with your whore!”
Bobby sighed, then went to open the door. Rachel stood back in horror, not believing she was in this situation.
“What are you doing here?” Bobby snarled. “You gave me your key back and said we were through.”
“You are still my husband. Until the paperwork is signed, you are still my husband. The question is why the hell is she here?”
Rachel discreetly tried to fasten her bra. She hated to admit it, but Shante actually looked ten times better than she used to. She’d lost about forty pounds and wore a tight jogging suit. Her weave was loosely curled and hanging down her back. Her makeup was flawless. She definitely had dressed up to come over here.
“I better get going,” Rachel said.
“Yeah, tramp, you better get going.” Shante stepped into the room and stopped just inches from Rachel’s face.
Rachel took a deep breath. “Shante, get out of my face.”
“Or what? You gon’ key my car, cut my utilities off, jump me, or better yet, try to kill me with a butcher knife?” She spun on Bobby. “I can’t believe you. We are still married, you know.”
“Shante, you’re the one who made it clear we were over.” Bobby sighed.
“And this is the reason why,” she said, dramatically flinging her arm toward Rachel. “You just couldn’t wait to go running back to her, could you?” She turned back to Rachel. “Where’s your husband, the good reverend? Does he know you’re over here committing adultery with your baby’s daddy?”
“Shante, you need to leave,” Bobby warned.
“Bobby,
I’m
going to leave. I’ll talk to you later.” Rachel grabbed her purse and headed toward the door.
“Oh, since you all saved and sanctified now, you wanna go run and hide. You ain’t fooling nobody. You still the same worthless piece of trash you were seven years ago. That’s why don’t nobody at your own church like you. That’s why your husband was cheating on you!” Shante spat.
Bobby looked stunned. Rachel spun around, her eyes shooting fire. “So I guess your bigmouthed sister told you that?”
Shante laughed. “Nope, Layla didn’t have to tell me anything. You wanna know how I know about Mary?” She sneered.
It was Rachel’s turn to look surprised.
How did Shante know her name?
Shante folded her arms and smiled. “Mary is a friend of a friend who will do anything for a couple of dollars—including screwing the most faithful preacher in town.”
“What?”
“You’re not the only one who can play dirty. Do you think I didn’t know about all the evil, underhanded stuff you did trying to get Bobby not to marry me? Do you think I was going to let you wreck my marriage and get away with it?”
“Are you kidding me? That was seven years ago!” Rachel couldn’t believe her ears. Lester had been set up?
“I don’t care if it was seventeen years ago. I told you you would get yours,” Shante told her.
“Are you saying you hired someone to seduce her husband?” Bobby asked, his voice laced with disbelief.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. It didn’t take much because poor little Lester was so unfulfilled at home. All Mary had to do was show him a little attention and he was all hers. Hell, she even stopped charging me because she was digging him herself.” Shante stood with a proud look on her face.
Bobby shook his head. “I don’t believe you, Shante!”
“You don’t believe
me
? After all this heifer did? She’s lucky that’s all I did.”
“That was years ago, Shante,” Bobby protested.
“Oh, she might not have directly done anything to me in the last seven years. But she’s the reason my marriage failed. She’s haunted us from the day we met. Do you think I’m stupid? You’ve compared me and everything about me to her since the day we met. I starved myself for you.” She motioned at her body. “Lost all this weight. Got this weave. Everything to try to make you love me. Nothing I did was ever good enough. You know why? Because I’m not her!” She pointed at Rachel.
Rachel was still trying to process everything Shante said. “You hired someone to sleep with my husband?”
“Darling, it was the best money I ever spent,” Shante spat.
That was the last straw. Rachel reached back with all of her might and slapped Shante as hard as she could. The blow caught Shante by surprise.
“Maybe that’s why you couldn’t keep your marriage together,” Rachel hissed. “Because you were so busy trying to become me. You could never be me.”
Shante rubbed her cheek and took a step toward Rachel. Bobby grabbed her arm. “Shante, leave her alone.”
Shante stared at him before snatching her arm away. “I don’t believe you. It’s always about her! I can’t stand neither one of you! You both will regret the day you ever hurt me!” She nearly knocked Rachel over as she stormed out.
Bobby shook his head in disbelief as he closed the door. “I’m so sorry about that, Rachel.”
Rachel stood in his living room, still in shock herself.
“I had no idea she harbored that much hate,” Bobby said. He stared at Rachel for a minute before easing toward her. “Let’s just try to forget about Shante, Lester, all of this drama.” He reached out and put his arms around her waist. “Where were we?”
Lester had been set up?
Rachel was still trying to make sense of everything. She pushed Bobby away. “I need to go.”
Bobby stepped back and looked at her. “What? Why do you have to go?”
Rachel cocked her head like she had to think for a minute. “I need to go home to my husband,” she said, matter-of-factly. “I need to go home. Where I belong.”
“Rachel, I know you’re trying to do right and all,” Bobby tried to reason, “but the fact remains that he cheated on you. Set up or not, that woman didn’t put a gun to his head.”
Rachel was amazed that all of a sudden, Bobby didn’t seem as attractive as he had just a few minutes ago. She stared at him and the only thing she could think of was her husband.
“Baby.” He stepped toward her. Rachel moved out of his way.
“Bobby, seven years ago I begged you for another chance and you had your reasons for telling me no. But the fact remains that you told me no,” she said as if she were coming to the realization for the first time. “And I built a life with Lester. But it’s kinda like Shante said—I was never a good wife because I was pining away for you.”
He grinned widely. “See, that means we were meant for one another. That’s why me and Shante couldn’t make it, because I was pining away for you.”
“No, that just means we were both fools.” Rachel could not believe she was saying or doing what she was saying and doing. “I gotta go.”
He grabbed her arm as she headed to the door. “Rachel, what about us?”
Maybe the voice that had been telling her to give up on her marriage was the devil talking, and she hadn’t prayed hard enough to decipher what God really wanted her to hear. Rachel looked at Bobby’s hand gripped firmly around her wrist. She used her free hand to gently remove his fingers. “Bobby, there is no us. I need you to respect that.”
She looked at him one last time before she walked out the door and headed home to her husband.