Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... (21 page)

He then handed out small gifts, which were mainly humorous. When he got to Jack, he presented him with a small dark-haired blow up doll and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s with the comment, “for when Rosie’s not around and you can’t sleep a
lone.”

Jack took it in good humor and chuckled at Alfie’s ingenuity of getting his point across; that he wasn’t sleeping beside me any
more.

When it came to me, his gift left me breathless. He gave me a box containing a tablet. When I opened it, I looked puzzled. He knew I already had one. He turned it on and opened the gallery icon. I scrolled the gallery, and it began to play a slide
show.

He had transferred all the pictures from his tablet to mine on a micro card. What was there made my heart crack. If I ever needed evidence of how much he missed me, it was right here in my
lap.

Alfie had made a photographic account to memorize all the places he had been during his international tour. He was standing by the Trevi Fountain in Rome, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, Buckingham Palace in London, The Opera House in Sydney, and Times Square in New York, among many ot
hers.

He posed as a lone figure in all of the shots, looking miserable. He had adopted the same pose in all of the pictures, standing by the landmark with one arm stretched out at his
side.

“Lily, I couldn’t take you with me on that journey, and I understand why, but every moment was a moment I only wanted to share with you. Without you, it was just another tourist attraction. So with that in mind, I filled my days when we weren’t traveling by taking pictures of the places we passed through to catalogue all the sights that weren’t that memorable, because you weren’t with me. Next time we’ll go together. Maybe we can replace these pictures one by one with pictures containing the both of us, because I really want us to build happy memories for when we’re old and grey. Look, see my arm? It was out waiting for you to join me. Next time, it will be cradling you, and I’ll be smiling, because you are with me, and you love me as much as I love
you.”

Again, the room was silent, and I sat scrolling through the pictures, speechless that he’d thought of me every day he wasn’t wit
h me.

Eventually, I touched his face and kissed his cheek. “I can’t wait see those places and replace these pictures, because I really do love you.” He grinned and hugged me tightly, before placing a soft kiss against my closed
lips.

Alfie nearly fell over when I gave him a gift certificate to a music memorabilia site. It was for a guitar that once belonged to Ronnie Woods of the Rolling Stones. Alfie was overwhelmed. Alfie thought Ronnie was the world’s best guitarist ever, and he was a major influence on Alfie as a musi
cian.

Guitar players were a debate we frequently had, because I thought no one beat Brian May’s playing. At least he was rooting for a British guitarist, so I couldn’t be that hard on
him.

Alfie leaned over and whispered, “I’m saving the rest for when we’re alone if that’s
okay.”

I smiled and raised my eyebrow. We seemed to be on the same wavelength. “Me too.” I wi
nked.

Alfie’s eyes widened at my comment, and the sexual innuendo of it wasn’t lost on me. Damn it was going to be a long
day.

Chapter 21
– Cheekinis

W
e ate lunch, and mine and Jack’s parents were the perfect hosts. They somehow managed to make everyone feel special during the day. Even Connie commented that she felt part of the fa
mily.

Dad and Alfie sat out on the patio for a while, deep in conversation. My dad looked serious, and Alfie was nodding. I really hoped Dad wasn’t giving Alfie a hard time because of the stuff we went through before. My dad didn’t know the whole story, just that I was seeing him and then we brok
e up.

Holly and Brett arrived, then Mandy and Neil, so we had a very full house. We played a silly game of charades, and Jack was especially funny when the card he picked to mime was
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
. I’m glad he had that one to mime and not me, because I wouldn’t have had a clue what to do with
that.

Screaming with laughter, my eyes scanned the room; everyone was having fun. It dawned on me this was the first time I’d seen Lennon really carefree and happy in all the time we’d worked toge
ther.

Mandy rigged up the karaoke machine from our place, and the neighbors next door came over and joined us. Their two teenage boys couldn’t believe their luck when their dad came around to complain, and we’d invited them in. They nearly fainted when they saw Alfie. They were massive Crakt Soundzz
fans.

My dad had never heard Alfie and knew nothing of their band, but when Alfie sang a ballad, my dad came over and placed his hand on my knee. “I can see why he’s famous. If I was thirty and competing in the world with that, I might have had to kill him.” I grinned at him and gave him a
hug.

“No competition Dad. Besides I’ve seen Alfie drive, he barely gets from A to B, never mind flying a helicopter for a living. So I guess he had to be good at something else,” I cooed but was doing a happy dance inside that my dad was becoming a fan of A
lfie.

Jack’s mom and mine did their version of The Three Degrees, ‘When Will I See You Again.’ It contained the line, ‘When will we share precious mom
ents?’

It was pretty apt considering us all being together, and the fun we were having. The last time Alfie and I did karaoke, Alfie sang to me, putting his feelings out there, in front of a whole bar full of people. I felt it was only fitting that I sing something to him, by way of returning his PDA towar
d me.

I had heard the perfect song on the radio the other day, and I felt it was really significant in our situation. I began to sing ‘Ordinary Love’ by U2. Alfie listened, and a slow smile spread across his face. When I sang the line, ‘are we tough enough for ordinary love,’ Alfie nodded slowly, held my gaze, and mouthed, “You bet we are,
baby.”

On the last word, Alfie was out of his chair stalking across the room before anyone could draw a breath. He scooped me into his arms and kissed me slowly; it was an intense moment betwee
n us.

Jack interrupted, “Is this where I run for the tent?” Alfie snickered against my mouth, and we broke the kiss. There were lots of puzzled faces in the room apart from Rosie. Alfie and I snickered at Jack’s comment, but we didn’t elaborate on it for any of
them.

Stomachs were on the verge of bursting, buckets full of champagne and wine consumed, and we’d played everything from board games to PS3’s latest offerings. Christmas day was as near to perfect as it could be for all of us, barring absent loved ones. Surrounded by all my important people, apart from Elle, I’d never had such a wonderful
day.

We said goodnight to Layla and Connie. Henry took them home, and as we closed the front door, my nerves began to fray. Today had given me the time to realize, for sure, that I wanted to be with Alfie. As if he knew what I was thinking, Alfie appeared by my
side.

Sliding his arm around my waist, he pulled me toward him and kissed my hair. “I really want to be alone with you
now.”

I licked my lips and nodded slowly. “I think I’d like that too.” Turning my head, I saw everyone either deep in conversations or eating a
gain.

Some were out by the patio, some in the family room. “I think now would be a good time to sneak off unnoticed,” I whispered. Alfie grinned and led me by the hand in the direction of our
room.

Grabbing a bottle of champagne on the way past, he tucked it under his arm. “In case we need lubrication.” He winked then wiggled his eyebrows wickedly a
t me.

I smirked and scooted inside the bedroom door so that he could come inside quickly. Knowing once the door was closed, unless there was a fire, no one would disturb us…not if they valued their lives, that
was.

Alfie closed the door and leaned against it. The palms of his hands were flat against the door behind his back, the bottle of champagne still under his
arm.

He took a sharp breath. I heard it catch in his throat. “Damn, now that we’re here, I want someone to kick me in the balls, so that I can check this isn’t yet another d
ream.”

I snickered. “Another
one?”

I raised my eyebrows and waited for his reply. “Honey, the times I’ve dreamed about holding you in my arms, sure it was real, only to wake up and feel a deep despair at the fact we weren’t toge
ther.”

I chewed my lip, feeling horrible. Listening to the effect I’d had on Alfie made me feel so full of remorse. It had been as agonizing for him to be away from me as it was for me to be away from
him.

I sat on the bed, but Alfie still remained standing by the door. “Are you going to come over here?” I asked slightly giggling at him still pressed against the
door.

“Not
sure.”

My smile slowly dissipated. My heart fell from my chest to my stomach. “You’re not sure? What aren’t you sure about Alfie
, us?”

Tight squeezing in my chest alerted me to the fact that my heart had stopped beating, and I was holding my breath. I was confused and filled with panic. Alfie didn’t think this was a good idea any more. Struggling with the feeling of possible rejection after finally letting him in, I was in danger of losing con
trol.

Alfie exhaled raggedly. “Yes an
d no.”

My heart stuttered then beat rapidly trying to make up for the lost beats. I was on my feet now, pacing and hugging my
self.

“You’re not sure you want to do this again?” Immediately the words hit the air between us; Alfie’s eyes locked onto mine, and I felt our connec
tion.

“Oh, I want to do it all right. I want nothing more in the world. I’m just not sure that if I do, and you change your mind again, I’ll ever recover from
this.”

What he said devastated me. To think I had inflicted as much pain on Alfie as he had on me was crucifying me. “I really want this to work, Alfie. That’s why I took things slowly these past couple of days. Remember you did that before. I was the one lacking in self-restr
aint.”

Walking over to the door, I pulled the champagne bottle out of his arm and placed it on the wicker nightstand. Turning back at him, I could see that he was having an internal struggle about what was happening betwee
n us.

Reaching around him, I took his hands and placed them in mine. I tilted my head and smiled gently up at him. “Alfie, I really want to be with you. I love you with everything that I am. I need you to believe that. It isn’t going to be easy with our careers. I am oh, so, willing to do this, because there is no one in the whole of this planet who makes me feel the way you do.” I stretched up on tip toes and brushed my lips with his sl
owly.

His arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me hard against him. I felt the desperation in his movement. “Lily, I love you with every fucking bone in my body. You make me tremble when I’m near you. Just the sight of you fills my heart with so much love, I sometimes wonder if it will burst. You are my sun and my rain, light and shade, pleasure and pain. If we do this, promise me you won’t just bolt at the first hint that something isn’t r
ight.”

I stared into his eyes and could see how distressed he was feeling. “I promise I’ll speak to you. I promise that I will hear what you tell me, as long as you can promise me honesty, Alfie. I promise to let you grow, as long as you do the same for me. I don’t want either of us to stifle the growth of the o
ther.”

I laid my head on his chest and swallowed hard. This wasn’t as simple as picking up where we left off before. This time we had to learn to trust and rely on each o
ther.

Alfie’s beautiful face lit up when he smiled affectionately, and he shook his head. “I’m sorry if I’m being a pussy.” I smirked, but I really understood where he was coming
from.

“Are you showering first or am I?” I wanted to move forward, because the night was becoming sombre, and I worried that we would end up in a long-assed debate about some aspect of relationship analy
tics.

Alfie frowned. “Doesn’t the shower fit the both o
f us?”

I smirked and suddenly the mood was changing again. “Well I have still to give you your Christmas gifts. So I was going to fix things here for that while you show
ered.”

Alfie went off to shower but was back in less than five minutes with a towel around his waist. This was a change as well, Alfie never usually thought twice about walking around n
aked.

He looked so alluring, with his shiny, just showered skin and smelling so fresh and clean. Not to mention damp. Self-control was difficult, I had to fight not to whip that towel away from him like he was the biggest gift under the tree. That one thing I’d wanted at the top of my Christmas
list.

“Your turn,” he cooed. My shower lasted even less than his I think. I had a small beach wrap, and I pulled that on instead of a towel. It had been hanging behind the door in the bathroom. I figured this would be easier to move around in, without inadvertently falling out of it, like I could in a t
owel.

Alfie was lying back on the bed when I went back into the room. He was watching MTV with the remote in his hand. When he saw me, he flicked to a radio station, playing easy listening m
usic.

“C’mere, I have something for you.” I sat on the bed beside him, and I bounced, the mattress sagging a little as he adjusted himself upright and handed me a small gift box. “Do you know how hard it is to buy something for a girl who has it
all?”

“Alfie the gift you gave me was ama
zing.”

He smirked. “Good, then you won’t mind this lot.” He chuckled nodding at the small pile betwee
n us.

Tearing the first package, I found a small red velvet box inside. I swallowed hard. Alfie snickered when he saw that my face was in conflict about what could be inside. “Don’t worry it isn’t an engagement
ring.”

I cracked the box lid and there were two platinum plectrums inside. One with the letter L and one with an A engraved o
n it.

“I know it’s cheesy, but we like cheese now and again, right? When we’re apart, and we’re playing on stage, having these in our hands will keep us thinking about each other. The A is for you, the L is
mine.”

He pushed another box at me. “This one is next.” I opened the box and saw a private jet voucher. “This is for when you’re missing me too much. You call the private airline company, and they will bring you to me, even if it is only for a few hours. I bought one of those for me too. I know we have the record label jet, but this way it’s extra security that we’re never that far from each o
ther.”

Alfie pushed an envelope at me. “This is the second to last one, I really didn’t have much time to put a lot of thought into this, forty-eight hours is a lot of pressure to get this just right.” I smiled and touched his
face.

“I think you’re doing pretty fantastic up to now.” He nodded at the envelope, and my fingers trembled as I opened it. The effect of him sitting near me was making my body hum, and I had to fight with myself to concent
rate.

I slipped my finger under the end of the envelope and tore it open. My eyes flicking between him and the envelope as I made my way to what was inside. It was two tickets for the cinema. I waved the tickets at him. “Cool, we can use these over the holidays.” He smirked and took my
hand.

“Lily, these tickets may just be cinema tickets to you, but for me, they are a reminder of the one night we spent just trying to be friends at my h
ouse.”

His stare was piercing. “Do you remember when you came over to watch movies with me? I couldn’t believe you came that night, I thought it was my second chance with you. Being able to watch you after you fell asleep in my arms gave me such an incredible feeling, Lily. I just wanted to hug you so tightly and never let you go. I had never seen anyone so beaut
iful.”