Everything You've Got: Anything & Everything, Book 2 (15 page)

“You are
not
talking about naked pink things.”

“Oh, yes, I am.” And getting even tighter in his jeans at the same time. Because there was no way to tease about thinking about naked pink things and not actually think about them.

She leaned over and punched his arm. “Knock it off. Stop thinking about my naked pink things.”

He laughed and dodged the next swing at his arm. “Can’t. And the more you talk about it, the more I think about it.”

“Tell me about someone who died that meant a lot to you.”

He looked at her, properly sobered. “That’s a low blow.”

“I had to get your mind out of the gutter somehow.”

Luke focused back on the road. “My grandpa. He died when I was nine.”

“Sorry,” she muttered. She was staring at her hand in her lap, looking a little like she regretted the drastic measure.

“I think he was part of the reason I got attached to Bill so easily.”

Bill Cassidy, Sabrina’s father, had lived next door to Luke when he was growing up and had taken the young man under his wing, teaching him to hunt, upgrade the plumbing in an old bathroom and grill a perfect steak, as well as instilling a strong sense of community and public service in the boy.

Luke’s father had traveled a lot and Sabrina had not shared her father’s interests, so Luke had stepped into the role of protégée for Bill—a situation that benefited both men. And kept Bill out of Sabrina’s hair. Some.

“My grandpa used to take me fishing and camping,” Luke said to Kat. “He taught me to throw a baseball and football, he taught me about gardening and lots of stuff. After he was gone, I missed having that and Dad obviously couldn’t do it.” Dave was gone more than he was home and while Luke never blamed his father, he did miss him. “When Bill wanted someone to teach and mentor, it was a great match.”

Kat sighed. “That’s really nice.” She sounded like she meant it.

“What else do you want to know?” This trip and time together wasn’t just about him getting to know her better. He wanted her to know him too.

“Okay.” She turned toward him.

Luke took that as a good sign as well.

“What is your most prized possession?”

He had to think about that. His restaurant, that he owned with Marc, was certainly important. He had some valuable baseball cards, and the like. But most of the things beloved to him were people and memories.

“I suppose the framed newspaper article announcing the opening of The Camelot.”

“Not The Camelot itself?” she asked.

“The article has a lot of really nice things about me in black and white.” He grinned at her. “And it’s a really good picture.”

He knew exactly why that article was important. Part of his dream was to have a business in his hometown that was integral to the community, that truly added something of value. The article in the
Justice Times
said exactly that about him and The Camelot. It was proof he’d met his goal.

“What’s your worst habit?” Kat asked, moving on to question number two.

He considered that for a minute too. “I eat too much red meat,” he finally said. He annoyed people with his seemingly endless supply of worthless trivia, was a little obsessed with John Cusack, and actually enjoyed Twitter, but those weren’t really habits per se.

She laughed. “That’s not your worst habit.”

“It’s not?”

“No. You do lots worse things than that.”

He shot her a glance. “Such as?”

“You give away too many free desserts at The Camelot.”

He grinned. “If that’s the worst thing I do, I think I can live guilt-free.”

“You quote eighties movies on nearly a daily basis.”

He thought about that. “Twice a week I’ll give you. Maybe three times. Not daily.”

“You drink that really dark beer.”

“That’s probably more of a preference than a habit.”

“Well, your absolute worst habit is that you always have to be a hero.”

He looked at her. “I… What?”

“You always want people to need you and you love doing stuff for everyone else. Even if it’s a sacrifice for you. It’s why you love your restaurant. At The Camelot you give people a great place to go and have fun. It’s why you always hung out with Bill—and still do sometimes—because he needed someone to mentor to feel good about himself. It was the basis for your entire relationship with Sabrina.”

Luke took a deep breath and actually felt—satisfied. It wasn’t like it was a secret that he liked to help others. Still, he liked knowing that Kat had given so much thought to what he did and why. So he liked being a hero. He’d been raised by two generous, loving people who taught him a lot about giving and sacrifice and very little about taking.

“How is doing things for other people a bad habit?” he asked

“It’s not the actual doing stuff. It’s just that it’s so…” She stopped, pressed her lips together, then shook her head. “Never mind.”

“Oh, no. I want to hear this. It’s so what?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just running my mouth.”

“I like it. We’re talking. This is good.”

She shook her head again. “You won’t think this is good. This is what you get for wanting me to talk. I shouldn’t have said that. Helping people out is not a bad habit. How about we talk about sex some more?”

He chuckled. “While that’s tempting—and would be properly distracting—I want to know what you think about this habit of mine. You said it’s not the doing that’s bad. So what is?”

She sighed. “I never realized how persistent you can be.”

“Katarina, I’ll cuff you up to that chair again if I have to.” And he’d enjoy torturing the answer out of her—one silky inch of skin at a time.

“Fine. Just remember—you pushed.”

“Right. Now spill.” He loved talking to her and he loved that she’d spent time figuring him out. That had to mean something. And her read on things in his life would surely tell him a lot about her too.

“It’s just that it’s so one-sided,” she finally said. “You do things for other people but you almost never have them do things for you.”

He thought about that. “The people at The Camelot give me money for the things I do.”

She shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. You never think about
your
wants and needs.”

“I want and need money.” He knew that wasn’t what she meant, but he wasn’t used to people analyzing him. Frankly, it was rare for people to question why someone did something nice. Which was just fine with him.

She laughed. “Luke, I’m serious. You—deserve more than that.”

He looked over at her. “I get more than that.” He meant it. “Taking care of people makes me feel good. Seeing people enjoying themselves in my restaurant is enjoyable for me too. Hanging out with Bill taught me a ton of great stuff.”

He paused with that and Kat was quiet, but he could feel her watching him. Finally he glanced over. “What?”

“What about Sabrina?” she asked. “You didn’t mention what you got from her.”

He shifted in his seat again. He should have known she’d notice that.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kat lean back against the passenger-side door, facing him, arms crossed. “Come on, Luke. What did you get from Sabrina?”

“Friendship.” It wasn’t like he and Sabrina had never had fun.

“Okay,” she said agreeably. “That’s true.” A moment passed, then she sighed. “Nope. I should be a bigger person than this, but I can’t help but take the chance to point out that you got nothing from her. Not really. You deserved better.”

His chest ached. This was an awkward conversation to have anyway, but now she’d brought up Sabrina. And not being able to really look at her didn’t help.

“I don’t think it’s about what I
deserved
.”

He just hadn’t been what Sabrina wanted.

“Of course that’s what it’s about,” Kat argued.

“So she should have married me, spent her life with me, because I was nice to her?” he asked.

“No, dammit,” Kat snapped. “She should have…let you go.”

The ache in his chest intensified. “Maybe I didn’t want to be let go.”

There was a long pause. Then Kat said softly, “Exactly.”

He scowled at the road that kept him from really looking at her. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You didn’t do all those crazy things for her because you didn’t want to let
her
go. You did them so she wouldn’t let go of
you
.”

Kat sounded a little amazed and Luke wondered if these were new revelations for her.

“That’s always been what you’re about,” she went on.

“I—” He wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Because she was right.

“That makes sense,” she went on. “You were front row center in a home where you saw people—foster kids—who had been let go by someone.” She nodded as if she was just getting it. “And then you had to let them go too. Roots matter to you, being stable and secure matter to you. And now you do everything you can to be important to people so they won’t let you go.” She stopped and took a deep breath.

He looked over to find her watching him.

“What you don’t realize is that you don’t have to
do
things. There are people who will care about you, want you, hold on to you just because of
you
.”

Before he could speak, Kat swallowed and finished quietly. “So that’s your worst habit—not believing that you’re amazing, no matter what you do for people.”

Luke stared hard at the road in front of them. His chest still felt tight but it wasn’t with anger or frustration now—it was shock.

No one had ever said those kinds of things to him. He knew he was loved, he knew he was appreciated, he knew he was important. But no one had ever called him on his motivations—his fears.

No one had ever called him amazing.

He didn’t consciously decide to do things for others just so he was significant to those people, but he could acknowledge that being
needed
fed his soul, made him feel happy. And safe.

And he could admit he had been more intentional in the things he did for Sabrina. As they’d gotten older and he realized that he loved her and wanted her, he tried very hard to be indispensable to her.

He’d given her everything.

And then she’d shown him that he wasn’t indispensable at all.

Fuck.

He ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath. He wanted to be over those emotions. He
was
over those emotions. Kat was just bringing it all up to…

He thought about that. Why was Kat bringing all of this up? It seemed that some of his underlying motivations were a new realization for her. But she’d pointed out that Sabrina hadn’t appreciated him. She’d claimed that his worth wasn’t about the things he did.

She’d used the word amazing.

Those things didn’t sound like they were new thoughts for her.

Sabrina hadn’t held on to him. But Kat had. Even when he hadn’t paid enough attention, even when he’d left her in his dorm room to pick up another girl, even when he’d been an idiot—she’d been there. As a friend. Wanting more. Thinking he was amazing.

Stunned, he decided that he needed some time to think, talk and
do
something about all of that without worrying about putting the RV in some guy’s cornfield.

He flipped on the turn signal.

Chapter Six

Kat was still debating whether being honest about the whole Sabrina-never-appreciated-you thing had been a good idea, when Luke signaled for a left turn into the tiny town of Stuart, Nebraska.

“What are you doing?”

“Need to stop.”

He didn’t even look at her and Kat figured he was pissed. She sighed. Well, that was too bad.

He was amazing and he deserved to be with a woman who knew it.

She hadn’t fully realized why he did all the things he did, but now that it made sense, she felt almost giddy.

The truth was—she really was perfect for him.

Not because she wanted to live and die in Justice, but because she felt for him the way he’d always felt for Sabrina.

She was head over heels for him and wanted to do over-the-top things to make him feel good. Regardless of the return on emotion.

Sure, that wasn’t exactly playing hard to get. But he needed it. Luke deserved to have someone focused on him, what he wanted and needed, as much as he focused on everyone else.

Did she want to be that someone? Hell yes.

When the RV finally came to a full stop it was beside a sign that said
White Horse Museum
.

Okay, whatever.

She slipped on her flip-flops and tried to figure out what to say to him. Blurting out
I’m in love with you and will do anything you want me to do
didn’t seem appropriate. True. But perhaps a little too much all at once.

“You’ve always wanted to know a lot about white horses?” she asked instead, as she joined him at the front of the RV.