Evidence of Desire: Hero Series 3 (12 page)

“Soni-love, promise me that you won’t get so consumed by building your exhibit that you forget to enjoy it. Enjoy life.”

She could do nothing but squeeze his hand and offer him a tentative smile. Everything in her wanted to be able to promise him that. Verify to Parker that she had a life that she lived a full existence outside of work in the interim that had been in each other’s life. However, it hadn’t been the truth and she wasn’t sure if and when it would be going forward.

Their server returned thankfully and said her from any further response.

“This smells delicious, but looks almost too pretty to eat.” She eyed the small appealing snack size food on her plate then glanced to Parker.

“I’m so hungry, I wish now I would have ordered two of everything.” He winked at her as he picked up his fork.

After a quick blessing they both dug in.

“You’re always on me about not being buried into work, so what does Parker Hayden do when he’s not conversing with bugs.”

He tipped his head back and chuckled. “Conversing with bugs…good one. I like working with kids. They have very fascinating minds and usually don’t have the fears and hang-ups that adults have and are willing to learn.”

“Was that a jab at me and my critter issues?” She pointed the tins of her fork at him.

“No. It wasn’t. Yours is understandable.” He picked up his water and drank from it. “I’d like to help you get over it though.”

Understandable
. She choked down the memories.

She shook her head. “Oh, no. We are not having this discussion. Back to the kids. When did this come about? You’ve never mentioned anything about it before.”

“You mean when we were married?” His brown eyes were so intense as they held hers.

“Yeah.” She was the first to glance away.

“We were both too busy.” He shrugged. “My studies were my focus. Unfortunately. I don’t even think there was space in my brain to consider anything beyond the two of us—”

“Co-existing.”

A moment of silence filled the table as they both completed their starters and rested their forks on the side of their small dishes.

“While I was in Daintree there were frequent occasions when I went into one of the small villages. The people knew that I was a studier of the various types of insects within the Rainforest. When I would show up, sporadically, the children would rush to me, gather around and ask me questions. I realized that they weren’t trying to pester me or get in the way of my research they truly wanted to know. So, I started showing them pictures, talking to them, sharing what new things I had discovered.”

Never before had she seen his face so lit up with excitement about something as it was at that moment while he talked about the children. For some reason she couldn’t explain why it warmed her heart to know that Parker enjoyed children.

“What about you?

“Me what?”

Their conversation went on pause as Javier returned to their table with their meals and cleaned away the other dishes. Parker took the servers recommendation on a house wine that would complement both their dinner choices.

They continued to make small talk about the beauty and aroma of both their dishes until the Sommelier arrived at their table and offered Parker a taste of the wine selection. When Parker approved, the man filled both their goblets to the appropriate level.

“You can leave the bottle,” Parker confirmed, when the Sommelier asked about the bottle.

When they were left alone at their table to enjoy their meal, Parker waited until after she’d tried her succulent lobster before returning to their conversation.

“Do you want children, Sonya?”

His question came out calm, general inquisition but it felt intimate to her coming from Parker. It brought images to her mind of
how
babies were created.

She took a sip of her wine and enjoyed the bloom of flavor on her pallet. “When I was younger, I think I had some thoughts like most little girls that started with ‘when I grow-up I want…’ But, long before I finished high school those fantasies ended. I focused on getting into college and having a career where I wouldn’t…” she lost her voice and attempted to cover up her emotions by placing another bite of food in her mouth.

“Have to worry about where your next meal was coming from.” Parker finished.

“Yeah.” Her appetite vanished and she reached for her wine and consumed a liberal amount to get the sour taste of her past out of her mouth.

“Are you enjoying your lobster?”

Setting her glass down, she glanced at the gorgeous man across from her. She gave him a smile of thanks for letting her out of the discussion. “It’s delicious. How’s your Veal?”

“Tender and savory. Care for a bite?” He held his fork out to her with a delectable piece of meat speared at the end.

Say no, she told herself. “Yes.”

Maybe it was the meat, or perhaps the beckoning stare of the man holding it, either way she was too tempted to resist.

It’s just food.
She repeated three times to herself as she parted her lips and allowed Parker to slide his fork, the same one that had been in his mouth, into hers. When she closed around it, she felt the heat of the flavorful meat. However, a part of her mind felt as if she could still feel Parker’s warmth on the metal.

Ludicrous she knew, but it didn’t stop her from desiring a taste of him.

“What do you think?”

Taking her time to chew the small bite, trying to think of something intelligent to say that didn’t have anything to do with how sexy and delectable he was. Or how she would jump at the chance for a comparison between him and the meat. But, she knew how that would pan out. It may have been over a week since she’d kissed Parker in the garden but she recalled it vividly. He could beat the expensive cut calf hands down.

Once there was nothing left for her to chew, she swallowed and answered him. “It is really good. If I come back here, I may go with that one.”

“I could always see if they have May thirtieth available.”

Even the clinking and murmurs of the other patrons were drowned out by the thumping of her heart at his words.

“You remember our wedding date?”

“Yes.” Finished eating, he set knife and for down. Lifting his napkin from his lap, he wiped his mouth removing the shine of oil and juice from his lips. “Even when I was in the heart of Daintree for days with no since of time, I remembered.”

She twirled her glass by the stem slow between her fingers. “If you had no sense of time how could you know?”

“Simple.” He lifted the bottle and offered her a refill before pouring some into his own.

“Thank you.” She took a sip of the refreshed alcohol.

He returned the bottle to the holder that sat beside the table then picked up his glass. “One morning I woke up with this niggling in the back of my mind. As I started my day and checked up on my research sites I couldn’t let it go. I thought I’d forgotten to pick up a package or something. Which I did a lot, but the postal center would just set my stuff aside until I emerged.” He drank some wine.

Smiling, she said, “I remember some of those absent-minded professor days.”

The lopsided tilt of his lips, made him look both sexy and adorable.

“When I could take a break, I made my way into town. There wasn’t anything waiting for me. While there I took a moment to post my article on my recent finds to the American Entomologist mag. After I paid for the shipment I noticed the date on my receipt. May thirtieth.”

“Then I suppose you just hiked your way back into the jungle.”

“Forest,” he corrected.

“Is there a difference?” She frowned.

“In short, a forest is penetrable but a jungle is not. You can have a part of a forest that is a jungle, fever dense and filled with young trees and wild vegetation and unpredictable. However, a forest is more wide spread and has a similar species and ecosystem…a rhythm and pattern that can be traced and followed—”

“I get it now.” She offered a cheer to him and finished it off with a sip of her drink.

He mimicked the act. “I actually went and had lunch at a small family grill and thought of you.”

His words threw her for a loop. Speechless, she lowered her glass to the table not sure what she should say. “Oh.” The single word stumbled out of her mouth.

“Life has a funny way of offering second chances.”

Javier was back, offering them a glance at the desert cart.

Was this really a second chance for us?
Part of her wondered if Parker was only pursuing her out of guilt. That he’d gotten this position and when he discovered she was there he felt obligated somehow to try again.

“Would you like dessert, Sonya?”

Parker’s voice reeled her back in. “Oh, no. Thank you.” She offered a smile at their waiter.

“Will there be anything else?” Javier inquired.

“I’m full. I could not consume one more thing.” She admitted placing a hand on her stomach.

“Then we are ready for the check,” Parker informed him.

Twenty minutes later, she was sliding into Parkers car once again.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He asked after he closed her door and went around the car to his side and getting in behind the wheel.

“The food and company were both excellent.” She covered his hand where it rested on the gearshift.

He met her gaze as he turned his hand over and cupped fingers. “I agree. As much as I’d love to go driving with you, I’m a man of my word. I promised dinner and home.”

At the time she agreed to the date all she could think about was her job and making calls to her South African contacts. Now, she wanted as much time as she could get with Parker. However, taking this slow was the best.

“I want to ask you a question, Sonya. I know technically isn’t any of my business. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.” They were a few miles from her house when Parker began.

Peering at him, she ran a few thoughts through her mind of what he could possibly want to know. “What is it?”

She noted the flexing of his left hand as it seemed to grip the top of the steering wheel a little tighter.

“What’s the story with you and the Councilman?”

“Why do you want to know?” She glanced down at her hands in the dark as her fingers played along the embellishment of her clutch.

“Because I want to pursue this.” He waved his thumb between them. “I don’t think I’ve hidden the fact that I still care about you.”

“No. I’ve gotten that.” She studied his side profile. “I’m just not sure if it’s the right thing for us. Going backwards and all.”

“Try seeing it as a forward move. We were good together. Hit a speed bump that put us on pause but maybe we just need to reset. See where this takes us.”

“I’d love to lie and say there was nothing here for you, Parker.” She placed a hand over her heart. “However, that’s not true. Your arrival back in my life has stirred up feelings that I’m not sure how to handle.”

She glanced out the window away from him. “What’s really best for me? If we try and fail, we are stuck here together…same city, same job.” Turning she met his gaze while they were stopped at a red light. “That would be harder to survive than the first time when we were a country apart.”

He gave a short nod before looking back at the road and driving.

As they turned into her driveway, Parker allowed the engine to idle for a moment as he met her gaze through the dimness. “I don’t want to hurt you. But, I have to try, because I’d hate myself if I didn’t.”

“Why? Why can’t we just be friends? It is so much easier that way.”

Shifting, he turned to her. He cupped her face and drew her close. They were so close that even the shadows didn’t obscure the intensity in his gaze.

“You were my life. Every part of me survived through you, with you.”

Parker was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face and smell the sweetness of the after dinner mint he’d sucked on.

They sat like that for a moment and she thought he’d close the gap and kiss her, right there in the dark—a type of closure to a wonderful evening. Her lids drifted shut, anticipating the pressure of his lips.

“Do you understand?”

His question and the stroke of his thumb along her chin quickened her heart beat. Her eyelids popped back open. “Yes.”

“I’m coming for you, Soni-love, get ready.”

She licked her lips, tasting the residue of her own mint. “I got it.”

Turning away, she undid her seatbelt. She needed some space between them. Needed to get her mind right. It was too easy to be drawn in by his alluring aura.

“Sonya—”

“Got it, Parker. Just give me a minute, please.”

He drew away from her then unfastened his own belt before shutting the car off and getting out.

Captivating. That was the word that came to mind as she watched his strut around the hood of the car toward her door. He didn’t have a heavy swagger like some men who gave all of their energy to their sexual appeal. No, Parker was too bookish for that. The grace and style he executed in his walk came from confidence in himself as a person. He knew his place in society. Was assured of his scientific knowledge and skill and that came out in each step he took and the slight raised-tilt of his chin.