Existing (37 page)

I know that I n
eed to tell her my secrets too, but now isn’t the right time.

I take her arm and help her up the steps. I watch the sun kiss the top of her
head, lighting up her chestnut-coloured hair, and feel a tingle spread right through me. I know she’s fragile right now, but I can’t stop thinking about kissing and touching her. Now that she’s let me in, I don’t think I want to let her go.

Two hours later
, I sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen and watch Cabe move around as if he’s lived here for years.

“Are you sure you’re okay with just an omelette
? I can cook you something else,” he asks.

“Honestly, I like omelette
s. It’s fine.”

He drops the grated cheese into
the frying pan with the eggs and scatters the pieces of ham into it. He turns and smiles at me which makes my heart go crazy in my chest, but I smile calmly back. The phone starts to ring. We look at each other, but I find myself shaking my head. “The machine will get it.”

He folds the omelette over
with a spatula and lets it drop out onto my plate as my Dad’s voice echoes through the hall.

“Rose? Are you there
, darling? Okay, never mind. There’s a huge storm over here at the moment so my flight has been delayed by twelve hours, which means I will miss my connecting flight. I don’t think I’ll be back until tomorrow afternoon. Can you please ask Charlotte to come over or someone else so you’re not on your own? Can you please call me back when you get this?”

Cabe places my plate gently down in front of me and begins to crack more eggs over the frying pan.

“Where is your Dad anyway?” he asks.

“
Somewhere in Washington,” I answer with a shrug.

I pick up my knife an
d fork. “Thanks for making me lunch.”

He turns and smiles. “It’s my pleasure.”

I eat my omelette quietly until he sits next to me. “I have something to tell you.”

I hear the unease in his voice and swallow the last piece of omelette. “Okay.”

“My Mom and Dad are taking us all away for two weeks. It was a surprise trip that they’ve had booked for months.”

“That’s nice,” I reply
, wondering why he looks concerned.

“I don’t want to go,
” he blurts.

I watch his jaw moving as he chews on his food slowly.
“Why not?”

“It’s not spring break. I don’t understand why they’re taking me out of school for two weeks.”

I laugh. “Don’t be such a dork. Most people would love to get two weeks out of school.”

“Yeah
, well,” he sighs, “I’m not most people.”

I feel myself frowning at him. I really don’t understand what his problem is. “So, where are you going?”

He grunts. “To the Maldives, apparently.”

“Wow,” I say as my eyes widen. “That’s amazing.”

“There’s nothing to do there.”

I pat his arm before walking to the sink and dumping my plate in the dishwasher. “I’m sure you’ll h
ave a wonderful time, Cabe. You can just hang out with your brothers and stuff.”

“
I’d rather stay here and hang out with you.”

I stand at the sink with my back to him. The air is fizzling around me
, but I don’t know what to say to him. I’m not entirely sure what he’s suggesting, and the way he held my hand this morning made me think there’s something going on that I’m not aware of. I’m worried that we’ve had a conversation about it that I can’t remember.

Just as I’m about to open my mouth
, the phone rings again.

“You better get that before he starts worryi
ng,” he says.

I nod and walk out of the kitchen without looking at Cabe. How am I supposed to ask him what’s going on without offending him
?

“Hello?” I breathe into the receiver.

“Oh Rose, there you are. I was beginning to worry.”

I huff. “I’m fine
, Dad. Honestly, you don’t need to worry about me. I got your message. How’s the weather?”

“It’s a total disaster. It’s freezing
, and so foggy that they won’t let the planes take off. They’ve put me up in a hotel so I’m alright I guess, but just annoyed that I can’t be there with you.”

“I’ll be fine
, Dad. Seriously, you need to stop fussing.”

“I know you feel fine
, Rose, but I’m worried you might get dizzy coming down the stairs and fall or something. Have you asked Charlotte to stay over?”

“Not yet, but I will.”

I hear Cabe running water in the kitchen and feel annoyed that my Dad’s worrying over me when I could be in there talking to Cabe.

“Okay, well if Charlotte can’t come over
, will you please make sure that someone else can? And let me know that you’ve found someone, or else I’m ringing George from down the road.”

“What? No,
you can’t.” George was the nosy neighbor that popped his head through the door the first day my Dad and I arrived here and didn’t leave for four days until he’d helped us with every single job in the house. He continues to call to have random cups of coffee with Dad, offering to help in the yard or with the car.

I can hear him chuckling. “I’m sure you’ll fin
d someone, but I’m still calling him if you don’t text me to let me know before eight tonight.”

“Fine, fine.
Just don’t call George, please.”

“Well, text me and let
me know what’s happening. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Rose?” he asks.

I roll my eyes.
“Yeah?”

“I love you
, darling.”

I screw my face up. “Love you too.”

The phone clicks off and I sigh and place the receiver heavily back down into its holder. I don’t need babysitting, but I’m scared not to ask Charlotte in case my Dad checks. I snatch the phone back off the holder and dial her number.

“
Hello, Rose. Calling so soon?”

I laugh. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Oooh,” she says excitedly, “I forgot to tell you that William is taking me on a date tonight. We’re going to the new Italian place.”

“What new Italian
place?”

“The one that
opened up near the grill.”

I try to think but can’t remember anything. My heart sinks. “I don’t remember.”

“You won’t,” she says quickly, “you were in a coma when it opened.”

I shake my head. “I can’t even remember there being anything near the grill that looks like an Italian
restaurant.”

“Sure you do,” she says, “you were going to go there with
Ava once. I remember you telling me you got there and it was closed.”

“Oh, that one
,” I breathe, feeling relieved that it’s not something else that I’ve forgotten. “I thought you were talking about a brand new one!”

She giggles. “No, don’t be silly.”

“That’s okay then.”

“I’ll text you later to let you know how it goes.”

“You better,” I say with a smile. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

I put the phone back down and scratch the dry skin on my hand. I have no one else to ask. I guess I could ask Cora or Hannah, but I haven’t seen either of them since the accident. They’ve both texted and wrote in my ‘get well soon’ book that I can call them if I need anything, but I’m not so sure. I could ask Ashley who has been almost annoying with his constant phone calls and visits, but that would just feel too weird. I wander back into the kitchen but find it empty.

“Cabe?”

I walk around the kitchen, wondering where he is. I’m sure he didn’t pass me in the hall when I was on the phone. I glance out the window and see him on the phone. I sit down and watch him pace up and down the yard, kicking a few leaves with his foot. He looks so handsome in the afternoon sun. It bounces off his head and shimmers in the light. His face has a faint tan. I can’t believe he’s managed to get a tan on his face already and it’s only May. I am thinking about how tanned he’ll be when he gets back from two weeks in the Maldives when I feel his hand brush the back of my neck. Thousands of tingling sensations burst onto my skin before flying down my spine.

“Is your Dad still adamant that someone stays with you?” He slides into the seat next to me and stares intently into my eyes.

“Yes,” I huff. “It’s completely ridiculous.”

“I can stay with you.”

I blink up at him and feel my heart fluttering in my chest. “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

To my surprise
, he laughs. “And what exactly do you think is inappropriate about it?”

I shrug
, feeling uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”

“Rose, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I mumble quickly. I can feel my cheeks redden and hate that my body gives me away so easily.

“Come on. I’ve told you that you need to be honest with me.”

“Okay, you can stay,” I say quickly, hoping that satisfies him enough to stop questioning me.

He opens his mouth but closes it ag
ain quickly before saying, “Okay. I need to nip home to get my stuff. Shall I grab us a film and some food for later or something?”

I nod
. “Can we get some take-out to eat? I’m sick of eating stuff out of the fridge.”

He grins.
“How about pizza?”

“Yeah, pizza is good.”

He stands up from the chair, causing it to scrape back across the floor. “Okay. I’ll see you in a bit then?”

“Yup.
See you in a bit.”

He hesitates and looks down at me before walking out of the kitchen. As soon I hear the door close
, I slump in my chair. I know I’m not doing this very well, but I don’t know what else to do. I glance down at my clothes and decide to go and have a nice hot soak in the bath to try and make myself more presentable. I’m sick of people seeing me when I’m ill. I’m sick of people treating me like I’m going to break at any moment. I grab my phone and text my Father to tell him Charlotte is staying over. I hope he doesn’t check-up on me.

I walk slowly
back down the stairs later and catch sight of myself in the mirror. I hope I don’t look like I’ve made too much of an effort, but I’m glad that I no longer look like I haven’t washed my hair for a week or like I’m on the verge of passing out. I’ve put the same amount of make-up on as Charlotte did earlier and have let my hair dry naturally down my shoulders in waves. I stare at my backside in the mirror where my skinny jeans hug it and think about changing them when there’s a knock on the door. I glance quickly back up the stairs, but realize that I don’t have time to change.

I pull the door open. “Wow,” he says, stepping into the house. “You look nice.”

I close the door behind him. “Thanks. I had a little nap after you left and then had a nice soak in the bath.”

He sniffs. “You smell delicious.”

I grin and follow him into the living room, where he dumps a sports bag onto the floor. “I got a few DVDs that we can choose from and I figured it was too early to get a pizza, but I got some menus for us to order from later.”

“Cool,” I say
, slouching down on the sofa. “What movies do you have?”

He ri
fles through his bag and hands me four plastic cases.

“Where do your parents think you are?”

He looks up from his bag and blinks. “They’re not my parents, Rose.”

I sit cross-
legged in the middle of the living room and stare at his expressionless face. I’ve been meaning to ask him about his family, but never found the right time. “Who are they then?”

He sighs. “I was going to tell you before
, but then all this happened and I didn’t have the chance.”

I nod, waiting for him to continue.

“They’re my Aunty and Uncle.”

I’m struggling to process what he’s just said. I’m sure I’ve heard him call them his Mom and Dad before.  “What about your brothers?”

He shakes his head. “They are my cousins, but they feel like brothers, and my Aunty and Uncle feel like my parents so I call them Mum and Dad.”

I clear my throat as he flops down on
to the sofa next to me. I place my hand gently over his. “What happened to your parents?”

He picks the
movies up from off the floor and shuffles through them without really looking at them. “We were all involved in a car accident just over three years ago. Both of my parents and my older brother died. I walked away completely uninjured.”

“Oh God
, Cabe,” I breathe. I squeeze his hand and resist the urge I have to throw my arms around his neck. I’m not sure my rib cage could take it. “I’m so sorry.”