Expecting the Playboy's Baby (12 page)

“And you think I did plan for this?” she asked. Her anger got the better of her, and she stood to glare at him.

“You’re a woman. Don’t you have an inbuilt system that allows you cope with this?” He smiled.

She knew it was a joke, but his words hurt. “No, I don’t. I guess I’m not a woman like the ones you usually fuck and leave after one night.” Putting her hands on her hips she glared at him.

“Don’t throw my past at me.”

“Past?
Why does it have to be in the past? That blonde was all over you the night of your party. For all I know that’s what you’re doing with your days. Fucking every woman you can find because it will be much better than being with me.”

“Stop putting yourself down.”
He yelled the words at her.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I like. I’m doing all this because the only person I can really rely on is
myself
. If I leave it to you my baby will come here and not have anything to sleep in.” She pointed a finger at her chest as she shouted.
 

“I never asked for this.” Patrick yelled the words across the room. He slapped the walls and kicked the crib across the room. “You’re not letting me be part of everything.”

She looked at the nursery and wondered what had set him off. They’d been planning for the nursery to be finished well before she gave birth. “You never want to come in here, Patrick. I’ve tried to get you to help, and you’ve left me to do everything. I don’t understand what’s wrong, Patrick. What have I done? Why are you so different towards me?”

“You’re rushing everything. I was fine when we were doing everything together. We don’t know everything about each other, and the rate you’re going the baby will be here and then we won’t have a choice in what we decide,” he said.

“This is what you wanted.”

“No. I wanted to spend time with the woman I met in the garden. This,” he gestured around the room, “is too much for me. I’ve got to get out of here. I don’t want this.”

He looked pale as if
all his
colour had left him at once.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not ready to be a father.”

His words hit her like a slap to the face. She watched him storm out of his house. The pain in her back was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. She let the tears fall and didn’t bother wiping them away.

Jennifer walked out of the nursery and sat on the bed. She was so pleased she hadn’t agreed to marry him and got engaged. The phone rang, and she ignored the call. She didn’t know how long she sat there looking down at the floor.

Gazing out of the window she saw night had fallen. Jennifer walked to the shower and tried to wash the day off her. The pain continued to hurt. She ignored it. It was over between them. Patrick had finally realised he didn’t want to be a father. She should never have hoped it would work. She’d known there was no chance for them.

Once she finished in the shower, she curled up in a ball on the bed. Jennifer closed her eyes as she started to accept what had happened between them.

Later that night the pain that gripped her abdomen woke her up out of her troubled sleep. It was excruciating, and she couldn’t think past the next wave of pain. The other pain she’d felt was nothing like this. She reached for the lightshade and turned it on. Jennifer couldn’t contain her next scream as the pain intensified. Pushing the blanket off, she stared down between her legs. There was the crimson of blood on her pyjama bottoms.

Her hands shook as she reached for the telephone. Patrick still hadn’t returned from storming out of the house earlier. She dialled the only number she trusted.

Unable to contain her sickness, she leaned over the bed and vomited everything she’d eaten that day.

“Hello? Who is this?” Linda asked.

“Help, Linda, please.” The tears fell from her eyes. She begged her friend for help.

“Jen, what’s the matter, honey? You’re scaring me.”

“I’m losing the baby.”

The next few hours were a nightmare. Once she ended the call, Jennifer curled up in a foetal position. The pain continued on. She heard Linda enter the room followed by two men with a stretcher.

“I called the ambulance, Jen.”

Jennifer couldn’t think of any words as the next few hours passed. Linda stayed with her through it all holding her hand.

“I hope that sick comes out,” Jennifer said.

“What?” Linda asked.

“The sick on his carpet.
Patrick likes clean carpets.”

Jennifer closed her eyes as sleep claimed her. In that moment, she never wanted to wake up again.

****

Patrick woke up with a pounding headache. His mouth tasted like shit, and he glanced around the apartment he’d rented out some time ago. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. Looking around the room, he saw whisky and beer bottles on the table.

The banging on his front door finally woke him up. Rubbing his eyes to try to wake himself up, he walked to the door.

“Open the fucking door,” Linda said. Her voice was raised, which made him angry.

“Keep your voice down. I’ve got neighbours.” He opened the door.

Linda looked pale and as if she hadn’t slept all night.

“What brings you to my door? Jennifer have a change of heart and sent you to beg for her?” he asked, chuckling.

“Jennifer’s in the hospital, Patrick. She lost the baby last night and almost died. Congratulations, you’re a free man again.”

He paused as her words penetrated his brain. “What?”

“She said you wouldn’t care. You slammed out of your home last night because of your stupid argument. I thought you were different from what the tabloids made out. You’re a fake.” She threw the morning’s paper at him. “She’s better off without you.”

“Jennifer lost the baby?” he asked.

“Yeah.
I thought you’d like to know.” Linda stormed off before he got chance to say anything else.

He felt sick and ran for the bathroom. After twenty minutes of non-stop vomiting he glanced down at the paper. It showed him with his arms wrapped around another woman, and it looked like he was about to kiss her.

“Jennifer’s in the hospital, Patrick. She lost the baby last night and almost died. Congratulations, you’re a free man again.”

 
Closing his eyes he let the tears escape. He didn’t want to be a free man. Last night she’d needed him, and he hadn’t been there. Getting to his feet, he turned the shower on and started to get undressed.

When he was showered, he called a taxi. He was in no fit state to drive. On the journey to the hospital he stared down at his cell phone. Should he call anyone? Had Linda taken care of everything?

The nurses were whispering as he approached the reception desk.

“I’m here to see Jennifer Dixon,” he said.

His hands shook, and he placed them in his pockets.

The nurse with red hair showed him up to her room. “Her parents moved her into a private ward earlier this morning,” she said on the way up.

Patrick didn’t speak a word. He stared at his reflection in the steel, feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.

The ward was busy, and several people stopped to stare at him. He followed the red head down the long corridor to the private section.

“Jennifer’s room is at the end of the hall,” she said.

Rubbing a hand over his face he thanked the woman and then walked down to Jennifer’s room.

The door was partially open. He saw her lying on the bed with a remote in her head. Tears escaped from her eyes as she stared straight ahead.

She looked pale, and her eyes were bruised from the lack of sleep. He opened the door. She turned her head to look at him. They stared at each other. Patrick didn’t have a clue to what she was thinking or feeling.

Jennifer ignored him and watched the television.

“Linda told me what happened,” he said.

“I gathered. They tried to phone you, but they didn’t know how to reach you. I told them not to bother.” Her voice sounded dead. There was no animation to it. He didn’t have a clue what to do with his hands, and he put them inside his pockets.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

She stared at him without answering.

“Stupid question.
I never wanted you to lose the baby, Jen—”

“Why are you here?” she asked, cutting him off.

“What? Jennifer, you just lost—”

“Before you walked out of your house last night you made your feelings perfectly clear. I don’t know why you’re here. You’re a free man, Patrick. You can go and screw, fuck any other woman you desire. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

There was a hardness that hadn’t been there before tonight.

“I didn’t want this. I wanted you and the baby and for us to have a life together,” he said. He’d been an asshole. His friends had made him feel trapped with her when the truth had been completely different. He wasn’t trapped. Patrick knew he’d never feel trapped while he was with Jennifer. The biggest problem he had was realising the truth far too late.

He felt the tears fill his eyes. Staring down at her, he saw her stomach was completely flat. The sheet covering her body did little to hide the evidence of what used to be there.
 

“How did it happen?” he asked.

“I had a miscarriage, but it wasn’t complete. I had the doctor remove the rest. He said it would come out naturally. I didn’t want to prolong the agony. Knowing I lost the baby was too much to bear. I can’t have you here, Patrick. Could you please leave?”

“Don’t send me away,” he said.

Her tears were falling thick and fast. “I want you to go. Please, get out of here. I don’t want to see you or look at you. Get out!”

Patrick saw the nurses walking down the corridor. He raised his hands and left her room. His heart ached with the pain of leaving her. She was hurting, and she wouldn’t accept any comfort from him.

After talking to the staff at the hospital he walked all the way home. He needed to clear his head to try to get over everything that had happened to him.

Patrick closed his front door. He saw his bedroom light on and walked up the stairs to find Linda cleaning up.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I came to collect Jen’s things. I didn’t think you’d want to see the sheets and the vomit on the floor. No, let me put it another way. Jen wouldn’t want you to see this mess.”

She stood up pulling off the latex gloves she’d been wearing. He saw her hatred of him reflected in her eyes.

“Go ahead, judge. You’ve never wanted me to be with Jennifer in the first place. What is it?
Jealousy?
You thought you should be the one to marry first and she’d be the one carrying the bouquet?” He tore his jacket off and glared at her.

Linda started to laugh. “I was never jealous of Jen. She was happy, and I was happy for her. For too long she’s felt she doesn’t belong. You made her feel beautiful and loved. She was falling in love with you. Whatever stupid argument you had going on, you shouldn’t have left her.”