Expecting the Playboy's Baby (15 page)

“We’re the best of friends, Jen. I love you like my own sister. You’re going to make yourself sick if you continue on the way you are.”

Staring across the room Jennifer looked at her friend. She hadn’t listened to what Linda had to say in a long time. The last few months had gone by so fast. It had been easier to push the pain aside and deal with everything else. When she thought about what had happened it hurt too damn much. She’d lost too much and refused to let more pain rule her.

“You shouldn’t have called him.”

“When it comes to you I’ll do whatever I think is right.”

She looked at her friend and then walked away. Jennifer went to her room. She took a long shower before climbing into bed.

Her thoughts returned to Patrick. He was the only man she’d ever cared about. When she’d lost the baby she’d known in her heart that she’d lost him as well.

****

Patrick stood outside the kitchen and listened to them argue. They were the best of friends, yet they argued like they hadn’t known each other long. When Jennifer walked up the stairs he let himself in quietly.

“You can’t stay here,” Linda said. “I thought seeing you would wake her up or something. She looks like hell.”

“She’s been through hell. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be at the coffee shop every day. I’m not walking away from this one.”

Linda nodded staring at the spot where Jennifer had stood. “She loves you, you know?”

“I ruined the love she felt for me.”

“No, you didn’t. Love like that never goes away. She’s hurting, Patrick. Don’t let her win this fight.”

She gave him a sad look before disappearing. He let himself out, locked the door, and found a motel to spend the night. Jennifer’s parents had given him their blessing to try to win her back. His friends were now part of his past. He intended to make his life work to suit his and Jennifer’s needs.

He stared down at the picture he kept of her. They’d been on a vacation to
Italy
, and the shot was taken outside their villa. She wore a pastel pink sundress with her hair around her shoulder in curls.

For the last few weeks the photo of her had been all he had. The scent of her had long since gone from his house. He couldn’t even bear to sleep in the bed without her.

He’d cleaned the house up that night and seen the sheets. The evidence of what he’d lost that night.

Patrick closed his eyes and refused to let the tears fall. He’d spent many hours crying and grieving for what he could have had.

Closing the case he was more determined than ever to win her back.

The following morning he sat at the same table he’d sat in the previous day. When Jennifer saw him she hesitated before serving him.

“What can I get you?” she asked.

“Whatever you won’t spit in, Jennifer.”

She glared at him. “I wouldn’t be so crude.”

“It was a joke. Black coffee and sweet would be a great start.” He watched her walk away. The curves of her ass swayed from side to side. The fullness of her ass was gone. He missed her added curves.

She put the cup of coffee on the table then made to move away.

“May I have a breakfast muffin as well? I’m hungry.”

Again she left his table and then brought him a muffin.

For the remainder of the morning Patrick watched her working. At the start of her shift she was nervous, and he put it down to his presence. The day progressed. He ordered coffee and then some lunch. Patrick left his table to go to the bathroom. He left his coat to let others know his table was taken.

He noticed she didn’t stop for lunch. Jennifer was working herself to death. He saw it clearly the next day and the day after that. She nibbled a pastry on the way home, stopped off at the beach, and she ate nothing at home. She was surviving on the smallest amount of food.

By the third day she finally joined him at his table.

Chapter Twelve

Jennifer had tried to ignore him at every possible turn. He followed her home and watched her while she walked the beach. She wanted to hate him for his
overprotectiveness
, yet she found his presence soothing.

Last night she’d gazed in the mirror and saw a person she didn’t like. Her body was no longer her own. She’d never thought there would come a point where she wished she wasn’t thin. The body she now possessed wasn’t right.

Linda had talked to her, and they’d made up.

Patrick put his paper away. He’d been reading the same paper, on the same page, for the last three days.

“That must be an interesting article,” she said.

He frowned.

“You’ve not changed a page since you started sitting here. If you’re stuck on a word I could help you.”

He burst out laughing. The sound sent pleasurable goose-bumps up and down her arms. The sensation startled her.

“You and I both know I wasn’t reading the paper.”

“No, you were watching me.”

She sipped her milkshake with a straw. Her lunch consisted of a cheese and pickle sandwich and a chocolate milkshake.

“This is new,” he said, gesturing at the meal.

Heat filled her cheeks as his words registered.

“I haven’t been eating properly.”

“I noticed. Your curves have faded. I’ve been sitting here wondering when you’d start eating.”

She sucked on her milkshake and finally looked up into his green eyes.

“I didn’t deal well with what happened,” she said.

“I know. For the first couple of weeks I rarely left my home. I,
erm
, I assembled all the furniture you bought for the baby.”

Jennifer paused as his words connected in her brain. She watched him lift a cell phone from his pocket.

“I think it looks good. What do you think?” he asked.

She stared at the picture he showed her. The nursery looked exactly as she imagined it would.

“I was an asshole,” he said.

Words failed her. She picked up her sandwich and took a bite as he began talking again. Jennifer had known there would come a point when she’d need to start living. So much time had passed already. It was unfair of her to constantly mourn. She needed to take her mother’s advice and move on.
 

“Yes, you were, but I wasn’t much better.” She took a bite of her sandwich enjoying the first real taste of food she’d had in a long time.

“What?” he asked.

“We could have worked around everything. You didn’t have to be an insensitive jerk, and I could have taken things slower. I was excited about our future together, and I wanted everything to be perfect.”

He reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “We both fucked up.”

Jennifer took a bite of her sandwich as she thought about her next words to say. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I can’t hate you, Jennifer.”

“After I lost the baby, part of me was a little glad about it.” The tears she’d been holding back finally poured from her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. There were so many people in the shop. She’d hate for them to look at her and wonder what was wrong. Patrick tightened his hold on her hand. “I hate myself for being glad.”

“We weren’t ready. I don’t hate you. Far from it, I wasn’t joking or lying when I said I love you. I really do love you. I’d do anything for you.”

She wiped the tears and then looked at him. “Can we go somewhere else?” she asked. Jennifer needed the privacy away from prying eyes. Patrick paid the bill, and together they walked out of the coffee shop. She walked down the sea front and moved under the pier in the shade. Wrapping her fingers around the post she stared out at the ocean. The wet murky sand discoloured her shoes where she stood.

Patrick wrapped his arms around her stomach, pulling her in close against him.

“We could stay here,” he said.

“What?”

“We don’t have to return to the city. I’d be happy to spend the rest of my days here with you. You’re
my everything
, Jennifer.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He turned her to face him. Taking her hand he pressed her palm over his heart. “I feel it in here. The last few months have been the worst days of my life. Being away from you is torture to me.”

“We can’t just move here,” she said.

His arm banded around her waist.
“Why not?
You’re working in a coffee shop, and I bet your parents would disapprove of that. You already live here.”

“I’m staying with Linda in her parents’ beach house.”

“We can have our own beach house, Jennifer. Please, give us a chance again.”

“Why do you think this time will be different from last time?” she asked.

He sighed. The action made the hair on the top of her head move.

“We’re not being pressured into doing anything. This will be about us.”

She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest.

“I’m not ready to move in with you. I’m going to stay with Linda.”

“Then we’ll date without all the other crap.”

Jennifer nodded her head. He walked her back to the coffee shop.

“I don’t want you to date me here, Patrick.”

“I’ll date you anywhere. Just give me a time and a place.”

“Linda has been talking about going back to the city. We can see each other there. I think it will be better that way. I want the beach to remain as a vacation spot. I’ve been here too long. I need to go and face the music.”

Jennifer glanced around at the beautiful ocean and the busy town streets. The longer she stayed here the easier it was for her to hide away. Staring at Patrick made her want to live again.

He left her at the coffee shop.

Later that night she told Linda her thoughts. Her friend had already packed to go back to the city. Taking a huge leap of faith, Jennifer packed her bags ready to leave. The guy at the coffee shop had been sad to see her go, but with the tourist season at its height there were more than enough people to take her job.

****

Patrick followed behind their car up the motorway and back to the city. He took a deep breath as his nerves started to pick up. The beach and the ocean had taken them both away from what was waiting for them at the city. In the city he’d have to battle memories as well as battling their parents.

He ran a hand over his face and watched the car in front. Jennifer kept turning around in her seat. His woman couldn’t drive to save her life. While she’d been away he’d learned everything there was to know about her.

She liked hot chocolate with a touch of mint in the winter. When summer came she loved an iced cold glass of orange juice. She hated peas and gardening. Insects scared her while dogs and cats were her weakness.