Experiencing God at Home (22 page)

Carrie knew she needed to gain more independence, and over the years, she had made various heroic attempts. However, her Waterloo came when she was fifteen. One day she overheard me mentioning a three-week lecture tour I would be taking that summer to Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, and New Zealand. Carrie was instantly interested. The movie trilogy
The Lord of the Rings
was popular, and Carrie was intrigued with the idea of going to New Zealand and seeing Hobbits. However, even as Carrie suggested she should accompany me on the odyssey, everyone knew there was an “elephant” in the room. Carrie had struggled to remain at church camp for a week when it was only two hours from home. How could she manage to be away from home for three weeks while on the opposite side of the planet? Needless to say, I obtained a refundable airline ticket!

We dreaded the moment when Carrie would part from her mother at the airport. Good-byes were expressed. Hugs were dispensed. Tears were shed. Then we were off. The young people in Singapore seemed far more intrigued by Carrie than the adults were with me! In fact, a group of teenage girls took Carrie to the “Midnight Safari” at the zoo where a zookeeper wrapped a python around Carrie’s neck! (She definitely was no longer in Kansas!) In Malaysia, the hosts seemed more concerned with outdoing the Singapore Zoo than with hearing my lectures on spiritual leadership. They took Carrie to see monkeys in the wild. In Australia, a grandfatherly figure skipped my lectures and took Carrie by train into the outback where they walked among a herd of wild kangaroos. Carrie was having the time of her life! Finally, we arrived in New Zealand. The hostess immediately placed a packet of brochures in Carrie’s hand and told her to see if there was anything that interested her. There was. Bungee jumping. I have no idea what possessed my princess. She had been playing it safe all of her life. For goodness sake, she’d put on her seat belt to back down our driveway! But something inside my daughter told her that if she was ever going to break free from her fears, bungee jumping was the answer.

The final day of our three-week marathon brought us to a deep canyon that boasted New Zealand’s second highest bungee jump. I was informed that New Zealand had invented bungee jumping, and they were pretty crazy about it. Now before you think the worst of me as a parent for letting my only daughter fling herself off a cliff into a canyon with nothing but a thin rope separating her from instant death, let me say in my defense that I was concerned about that too. But I also knew that my sweet daughter had lived her life thus far with timidity and a rather healthy dose of fear. I knew her life would never achieve what it could if she always yielded to her fears. She needed to face them head on and put them behind her. What better way than by jumping off a cliff?

For the two days preceding that fateful moment, Carrie would ask me every hour, “Do you think I can do it?” I would assure her I knew she
could
do it, but if when gaping down into the endless abyss she opted
not
to jump, I would respect her just as much. An hour later, “So, do you think I can do it?”

Finally, the time came. This canyon made the Grand Canyon look like a crack in a sidewalk! The bungee tower hung perilously over the precipice. The jumpmaster instructed Carrie in three details. First, no nonjumping parents were allowed on the tower (no matter how much they wanted to encourage their offspring). Apparently they did not want children to grasp their father (who had no rope tied around
his
ankle) at the last moment and bring him hurtling over the edge with them. Second, the instructor informed Carrie that she would not be pushing or pulling her. There were some things people had to do all on their own. If Carrie couldn’t bring herself to take that last step, no one could do it for her. Finally, the jumpmaster informed Carrie that the longer she stood staring over the edge, the harder it would be to jump. “So I’m going to count 3-2-1, and when I say 1, go for it!”

As the jumpmaster began counting, there stood Carrie, shaking like a leaf. But right on 1, over she went. Carrie screamed so loud I think it caused a disturbance in the Force. But she did it. When Carrie made it back to the top of the cliff once more, I was there to celebrate. She was exhilarated at her accomplishment, but I could tell something troubled her. Finally she blurted out, “Dad, I was scared.” She was embarrassed at how frightened she had obviously been. I responded, “But Carrie, you jumped on 1!” I went on to tell her that courage is not the
absence
of fear. It is being scared to death and still jumping on 1. She had reached a major new milestone in her life.

That event has provided a poignant picture for my family of what often happens in our Christian life. When the Creator of the universe invites us to join Him in His work, it is inevitably going to cause a crisis of belief. That’s because God typically does things that are God-sized. That is not so bad for the archangel Michael, who is used to the goings on in heaven, but it will often force us out of our comfort zone!

What we have often discovered is that, for many Christians, the biggest challenge is not
knowing
what God’s will is; it is
doing
it. Tragically, there are many Christians standing at the edge of their spiritual “bungee tower” trying to muster the courage to take one more step to obey what they know in their heart God wants them to do. Some remain where they are a long time. As Carrie’s instructor informed us, it doesn’t get any easier by waiting until later! The reality is that in every person’s life there are those critical moments of decision where what we do
next
could have repercussions for the rest of our lives.

What a Crisis of Belief Is Not

Perhaps one of the most misunderstood concepts in
Experiencing God
is the truth that God’s invitations often lead to a crisis of belief. We tend to think of the word
crisis
as something negative. But what this means is that every time God speaks, you face an enormous decision: Will you believe Him and obey Him, or not? Scripture instructs us that, “without faith it is impossible to please God” (Heb. 11:6
hcsb
). That being the case, God will continually put your life into a position where you
must
have faith. We tend to nestle ourselves into a comfort zone where we never have to do anything that stretches us or is too difficult or painful. That’s human nature. But the problem is that when we live a life where we never need for God to intervene on our behalf, then we also don’t accomplish God’s work or experience His power. We believe the reason America is presently in the spiritual and moral condition it is in is because too many Christians have been content to live “safely.”

A crisis of belief occurs when God invites you to do something that is difficult or clearly beyond your ability. It might be to take an unpopular stand. It could be to change your views. It might be to forgive someone who harmed you. It could be to do something (like speak in public) that you are terrified of doing. Perhaps it is going on a mission trip you do not think you can afford. It could be to donate money at a level beyond what you feel you are capable. It might be to lead a Bible study at your work or school. It could be anything God asks you to do that pushes you beyond where you are comfortable. It is when you come to the end of yourself that you are forced to trust Him.

The Bible is filled with moments where God invited people to leave their comfort zone and to follow Him. Consider some of the following.

Josiah

Josiah had the dubious distinction of having a grandfather who was the wickedest king ever to lead the nation. Listen to what God said of Manasseh, king of Judah: “He has acted more wickedly than all the Amorites who were before him, and has also made Judah sin with his idols. . . . Moreover Manasseh shed very much innocent blood, till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to another” (2 Kings 21:11, 16). In response, God declared: “Behold, I am bringing such calamity upon Jerusalem and Judah, that whoever hears of it, both his ears will tingle. . . . I will wipe Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down. So I will forsake the remnant of My inheritance and deliver them into the hand of their enemies; and they shall become victims of plunder to all their enemies” (2 Kings 21:12–14).

King Manasseh was so wicked that God declared His judgment would be as certain as it was fierce. Manasseh’s son Amon ruled only two years before his own servants murdered him (2 Kings 21:23). The people then rose up and put all of the conspirators to death before making Amon’s son Josiah king in his place. Imagine! Your grandfather was so wicked that God declared He would devastate the nation as a consequence. Your father was murdered by his own servants. In response, citizens rose up and executed your father’s enemies. Then you are made the new king.
And you are only eight years old.
Talk about a crisis of belief! Josiah inherited a nation that was wicked, divided, and under judgment.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah grew up under the evil king Manasseh. It was truly an evil age. Then, as a teenager, God approached Jeremiah and told him he was to be a spokesman for God, delivering unpopular messages to the nation’s leaders. Jeremiah knew how wicked his society was and how unlikely they were to heed his message. So he responded, “Ah, Lord G
od
! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth” (Jer. 1:6). Jeremiah was experiencing a crisis of belief! God needed an older, more experienced spokesperson! God needed to call someone who commanded more respect from the nation’s leaders and who had more experience in preaching. Perhaps a PhD in revival would help. But God chose a teenager to undertake an extremely difficult assignment.

Rebekah

Rebekah was the dutiful daughter of Bethuel and sister to Laban, who lived in Mesopotamia. One day she was performing her chores, walking to the well to retrieve water. A foreigner approached her and asked for a drink. Not only did she minister to the weary traveler; she also offered to bring water for the man’s
ten
thirsty camels! These camels had just walked a great distance. It has been estimated that camels can drink up to 25 gallons of water at one time. Offering to quench the thirst of ten parched camels was no casual offer! By the time she was finished, the man knew he had found the wife for his master Isaac, the future patriarch of God’s people (Gen. 24:1–28). How would you have responded if a total stranger approached you and needed you to haul, with your lone water jar, 250 gallons of water to quench the thirst of his road-weary camels? When it was agreed that Rebekah should be Isaac’s wife, her family pled with Isaac’s servant to allow her to remain with them for ten days so they could give her a proper farewell. After all, she was leaving them forever to go to a distant land. Yet the servant was anxious to return to Abraham to present him his new daughter-in-law. So her parents asked their daughter if she was willing to immediately depart with this stranger to a land where she had never been and from which she was unlikely to return. Her response? “I will go” (Gen. 24:58). She would become the mother of Jacob and Esau, the grandmother of the tribes of Israel, and a woman of faith who would inspire God’s people for thousands of years.

Daniel

Daniel was a teenager during some of the most discouraging periods in his nation’s history. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had subdued Jerusalem and would eventually level its walls and raze its holy temple. His army abducted the finest young men from the nation and took them to Babylon to be immersed in the Babylonian culture. The king’s stewards changed Daniel’s name to a pagan name. They insisted that he eat foods that violated his own standards. They dressed him as a Babylonian and promised that if he complied, he could become highly successful in the most powerful empire in the world. This was enormous pressure for a teenage boy to endure. Yet we are told, “Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself” (Dan. 1:8). This was a crisis of belief! Daniel probably knew of many of his countrymen who had already been killed by the Babylonians. They did not tolerate opposition or resistance. Yet God intended to use Daniel in a powerful way to impact two kingdoms. His rise to prominence began when he chose to believe and obey God.

John Mark

John Mark was a young man who grew up in a home dedicated to Jesus. By all accounts he was a sincere follower of Jesus himself. When Paul and Barnabas set out on their historic first missionary journey, they chose this young man to accompany them. It was quite an honor. Things began well enough as they ministered in Cyprus, the place where Barnabas was from. But when the team ventured on to Asia Minor, John Mark apparently decided that he wanted to go home (Acts 13:13). His reasons are lost to history. All we know is that the apostle Paul was so frustrated with him that he refused to let him come on their next trip (Acts 15:36–41). John Mark had received an amazing invitation: to accompany two of the greatest missionaries in Christian history on a journey that would later be chronicled in the Bible. But he suffered a crisis of belief! And because he could not trust God, he experienced a humiliating failure.

Crises of Belief That Our Children Face

Statistics indicate that the majority of children who grow up going to church each week will ultimately walk away from church, and perhaps God, when they reach their teen and college years. Often the reason young people abandon the faith is because they experience a crisis of belief, and they fail to trust God. That is why it’s crucial for parents to walk with their children through these watershed moments. The following are some of the most common issues that could cause our children to experience a crisis of belief.

Friends’ Approval

As children grow up in our home, we have the “power” to take them to church and to teach them our beliefs. Our children will generally be open and accepting of our beliefs and standards when they are young. But at some point, holding on to the beliefs and values they were taught at home is going to put our children crossways with some of their friends and classmates. For many, that proves to be a crisis! “I know I was taught not to smoke cigarettes, but my friends are all doing it. What will they think of me if I am the only one who doesn’t?” “Everyone at school is going to that party; I don’t want to be the social outcast of my school and stay home with my parents that night.” Children may have been taught for years that they should honor God with their bodies, but one semester sharing a dorm room with an unbeliever who drinks, smokes, and sleeps around can bring years of parental instruction and Sunday school classes tumbling down. Every child knows that the answer to “What’s more important, what God thinks or what your friends think?” is “What God thinks!” (The correct answer in Sunday school is
always
God!) Yet knowing the theologically correct answer is not preventing thousands of children raised in churches from forfeiting their faith every year.