Experiencing God at Home (28 page)

In American society today, the word
obedience
is not very popular. Try hosting an “Obedience” conference at your church for your community and see if you need overflow seating! (Better have a pretty snazzy billboard!) But hold a “God’s Secrets to Wealth and Happiness” conference, and even unbelievers will come, just in case. Unfortunately, even in the church, many pastors avoid emphasizing the word
obedience
from the pulpit because it seems too demeaning, almost abusive. But the truth is that God declared that as we obeyed Him, we would experience Him. Too many Christians today are disobeying God and then wondering why He seems so distant! Recall what people in the Bible experienced when they obeyed God:

• Abraham obeyed and experienced God miraculously granting him a son at the age of 100 (Gen. 17).
  
• Moses obeyed and experienced God powerfully delivering an entire nation from bondage (Exod. 6:6–8; 12:31).
  
• Noah obeyed and experienced God’s amazing deliverance from a cataclysmic destruction (Gen. 7).
  
• Joseph obeyed and experienced God’s timely deliverance from King Herod’s hit squad (Matt. 2:13).
  
• Gideon obeyed and experienced God using a mere 300 men to defeat an army of more than 135,000 (Judg. 7).
  

Whenever people obeyed what God told them, they experienced God in fresh new ways. Had Moses remained in the desert with his sheep, he would have known
about
God, but he would never have experienced God’s incredible power himself. Gideon might have believed the stories he was told about God granting victory to Abraham’s band of men over the armies of King Chedorlaomer and his allies (Gen. 14:1–17), but when Gideon obeyed what God told
him
,
he experienced firsthand what God’s deliverance was like! But there is something more important than experiencing God’s power, or deliverance, or wisdom. When we obey God’s voice, we experience
Him.
Nothing is better than that!

Obedience in the Street (An Example from Richard)

One Saturday afternoon I was at home brushing up on my sermon for Sunday. My wife had our two younger children with her doing errands. My six-year-old son Mike was playing at home. The doorbell rang. It was two boys Mike’s age calling to see if he could hang out with them. One of the boys, named Will, lived across the street from our house and was always getting into trouble. Adjacent to Will’s house was a busy street. We had a firm rule in our home that our children were forbidden to cross that road without their parents for
any
reason. Mike was mortified, however, when I recited that rule in front of his two callers. Will immediately piped up: “My parents let
me
cross that street!” I made it clear that Mike could not join them if they intended to cross that forbidden territory. Will promised they would remain in his front yard. I acquiesced. Mike left with them.

It didn’t take long for me to begin to worry. I got up and walked over to the living room window. Pulling back the blinds, I could clearly see the boys playing on Will’s front yard, just as they had promised. All seemed fine. Fifteen minutes later I thought I’d check just one more time. This time the situation had changed. As I gazed out the window, I saw Will standing beside the contraband street, beckoning his companions to follow. “I knew it!” That Will could
not
be trusted! I began to charge toward the front door. Those boys were going to get so
busted
! But then it dawned on me. What was Mike going to do? He hadn’t crossed the street,
yet
.

I returned to the window and watched. Will was now standing
in
the street urging his friends to join him. Mike and the other boy were on the sidewalk, approaching the street. After additional urging by Will, the other boy meekly joined him in the street. Now they both prodded Mike to quit wasting time and come with them. Mike was hesitant. He knew what his dad had said. But his two friends were calling him a “chicken” and taunting him. Mike edged closer to the edge of the sidewalk. He stood so close to the street at this point that if his mother had not recently trimmed his toenails, he’d already be in a state of disobedience! My heart lurched within me. I feared I was about to witness my son blatantly disobeying me. I felt sick at the disappointment and the discipline I’d have to deal with at any moment.

But then something happened. Mike looked at his friends. Then he looked toward our house. Suddenly he waved good-bye to his wayward companions and trotted back to the house. I was overcome with emotion! My son had just rejected his two friends in order to honor his father! I wiped tears from my eyes and quickly sat back down in my chair. As Mike entered the house, I asked nonchalantly, “How come you’re home, Mike?” He responded, “I just wanted to be here with you, Dad.” I had never been so proud as a parent as at that moment! I immediately put my work aside and got up to spend time with my son. “Can I get you some ice cream, son? How about a sandwich? Would you like a pony?!” What a special time we had together that afternoon!

At times, talking about obeying God can seem sterile, stiff, and even a bit legalistic. But if you have ever spent time with a loving parent just after you honored them with your actions, you may have caught a glimpse of the joy that can be yours when you obey your Father in heaven.

How Can You Experience God in the Family?

As a parent, you are not only seeking to experience God yourself; you are simultaneously helping your family to experience Him too. Here are some ways to do that.

Seek God as a family.

Read God’s Word together as a family.
As you read, keep your ears and heart open for God to speak to you through the stories, verses, characters, and teachings. God’s Word is “living and active” (Heb. 4:12
nasb
) and will “accomplish what [He sends] it to do” (Isa. 55:11
hcsb
). Share what God reveals to you. Be sure to listen to what God says to your family. Identify verses where God’s will for people is spelled out. Then talk together about how you will obey what God said. Expect God to speak to your family through His Word.

Pray together as a family.
Lift the various concerns of your children up to God and ask Him for direction and wisdom. Teach your children to talk to God conversationally. Take time to be silent as you listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you as a family. Ask God to show you to whom He wants you to minister. Then later invite your family to discuss how God answered your prayers.

Find places of service.

God has placed each member in the church body as it pleased Him (1 Cor. 12:18). Encourage family members to find the place of service God has for them. It might be helping to pass out bulletins at the entrance to the auditorium. It might be serving in the nursery. It could be singing on the praise team or greeting visitors, or joining someone in the service who is sitting alone. It could be helping to teach ESL to local immigrants, mowing the lawn of a widow, or going with a team to minister in the local prison. Don’t be satisfied until every member of your family has found a meaningful way to serve Christ in your church.

If You Love Me

Jesus said, “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:14). He did not say we were His friends if we worshipped Him, loved Him, or believed in Him. The measure of whether or not we are His friends is our obedience. But obeying God is not a chore or a prison sentence! It is a pleasure! In fact, as we obey God, we truly experience Him. God’s will may at times appear confusing or even daunting. But as you step put in faith, trusting Him in each step, an amazing world of divine activity will open up to you. Immeasurable joy can be yours as you walk in step with God throughout your life.

Transitions in Life (An Example from Tom)

For fifteen years I served as an associate pastor in various churches. In those years I did everything from leading worship to working with youth. I had developed expertise in those fields and had even been asked to serve as a national consultant for our denomination. We were living in the beautiful city of Vancouver near several of our relatives. Life was quite comfortable.

Then a time came when Kim and I began to sense that God was preparing us for a change. It became clear that God’s next assignment for me was as a senior pastor. That was a big stretch! I wasn’t used to preaching every week! I also liked having the senior pastor handle the disgruntled church members! I had not had to manage staff before. I wondered if I could handle the increase in responsibility. I knew I had to obey, and so I assembled a resume. At that time, however, there were not many available positions in my denomination. I was confused. Why would God ask me to be open to being a senior pastor if there were no such positions available? Kim and I continued to pray. One day I was asked if I would submit my resume for a senior pastor position . . . in Norway! And I thought I was already being stretched to the limit! Our children were ages six months, six years, and seven years at that time. It would be an enormous adjustment for my family, let alone my career. But the more we prayed, the clearer it became that this was what God had been preparing me for.

I spent seven incredible years at that church. The experience built many new dimensions into my family. We were able to travel throughout Europe and develop a love for diverse cultures. My children had the world opened up before them, and they met some amazing people. That experience also prepared me for my current job, directing the international ministry of Blackaby Ministries International (I put the “I” in “International!). God knew all along what I would experience if only I would trust Him and accept His invitation. God also knew that my family would be enormously blessed and changed by that step of obedience. I am so glad I made it! Will you?

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. As you reflect honestly about your walk with God, does your knowledge of God come solely from reading books, or have you also experienced Him?

2. What characteristics (such as power, holiness, love) of God have you experienced? List them.

3. What is God presently asking you to do that you know you must obey?

4. How are you helping your children learn to obey what God tells them?

5. In what ways is your family presently serving God together? Who is your family ministering to?

6. When was the last time your family stepped out in faith?

Chapter 15

Getting Your Family on the Right Track

The Problem

Statistics indicate that many of the of children who grow up in Christian homes will eventually walk away from the church and from God, at least for a time. Some never return. We have heard hundreds of heartbreaking tales of children who grew up in godly homes yet succumbed to worldly enticements, peer pressure, or sinful rebellion. Numerous bewildered parents have told us of their child’s drug addiction, teenage pregnancy, angry rebellion, or infatuation with sin. These children grew up being taught how to live God-honoring lives; yet they rejected that instruction and made choices that scarred them for the remainder of their lives.

The causes for prodigals are legion. Some parents assume that simply taking their children to church on Sundays and to youth group on Wednesdays is sufficient to ensure they will follow God as adults. Other parents tell their children how they should live but then negate their instruction by living as hypocrites. They instruct their children to behave one way while they act another—a sure means of short-circuiting God’s work in children.

Still other parents fail to invest the long hours and hard work required to raise godly children. Their neglect eventually becomes evident. Some Christian parents struggle with sin—not in their children but in their own lives. Behavior such as adultery is devastating not merely because of the harm it causes a marriage. Divorce is a horrific experience for couples, but it can also impose life-altering effects on children. Children who were wholesome, happy young people may begin to act out sexually and rebelliously. Teenagers who were trying to live godly lives, and even talking about entering the Christian ministry, now don’t even want to attend church. Finally, there are parents who seemingly do all the right things but whose children reject their faith and values nonetheless. Just as Adam and Eve rebelled against a loving Father, so some children choose to sin regardless of what they were taught.

The Wrong Response

Having a child reject your faith or your love is devastating. It can fill you with conflicting emotions. Yet if this happens, we must avoid several unhealthy responses.

1. Becoming Immobilized by Guilt and Remorse

One of the most common responses by Christian parents whose family falls short of what they hoped for is to become immobilized by feelings of guilt and remorse. We have talked with numerous parents who grieved deeply over the fact that they believed they had failed as parents. Their son who showed such promise as a child is now serving twenty years in prison. Their beautiful teenage daughter who brought sunshine to their world is now pregnant out of wedlock. Their son who used to fill their home with laughter now fills it with angry shouting. Their daughter who grew up regularly attending church now wants nothing to do with it. Children who grew up in a home that abstained from alcohol now can think of nothing else but how inebriated they will become over the weekend.