Exquisite Betrayal (39 page)

His hands are either brushing my hair back,
feeling my lips or doing something else to me. He can’t seem to
keep himself from touching me, as if he’s afraid I’ll
disappear.

“
You’re so gorgeous, Fallon. I would
stare at your pictures every day, just so I could memorize every
detail of you. I bet I know things about you that you’re not even
aware of.”

“
Like what?”

“
Your eyes. They’re this light gray,
but they turn slate when you’re angry. And close to your pupils,
they’re almost violet. I’ve never seen eyes like yours. And did you
know you have two freckles on your nose?”

“
Two?”

“
Uh-huh. Right here.” He touches the
tip of my nose and then leans forward like he’s going to press his
lips there, too, but then he stops. We haven’t kissed yet and I
know he’s taking all his cues from me.

“
Ryland Thomas, how do you want this
to play out?” I decided to be blunt about everything.

“
Us?”

“
Yeah.”

“
I want us to live happily ever after
as Mr. and Mrs. Ryland Thomas Sinclair.”

So he’s playing blunt, too. Good.

“
Okay. You told me you were scared of
touching me when we woke up. I’m scared, too. Out of my fucking
mind. Of having my heart slashed apart again. I know there are
never any guarantees in this life, but I can’t ever go there again.
As sure as I’m sitting here, I know this much. If I have to walk in
that hell again, you may as well make me an in-patient at the local
mental facility. My mind will crack the next time. It’s not a
threat. It’s not a warning. It’s pure fact.”

He winces, although he doesn’t avoid the
discussion. “I understand. I know what happened to you in Vegas
and, Fallon, you know what I think about myself. I swear to you, as
I’m sitting here, that there will never be a repeat of that again.
I know how fragile we are, how fragile life is. There are no
guarantees and we’re all here on borrowed time. You and I know that
better than anyone.

“
I can’t promise I won’t make stupid
mistakes. I’m a dumb shit. I’ll be the first to admit I’m full of
immense—what’s the word you use?
—
oh yeah, stupidassery. Call me on it. I’ll take
it. But whatever I do in the future won’t be intentional. You’ll
always come first in my life, over everything.

“
I’m scared too, Fallon, but when I
see your face, I want so much with you. I realize I’ll do anything
to make it happen.”

His eyes burn into mine, compelling me to
know he’s being honest, but there’s one other thing I need to
know.

“
Why Iris? Of all the fucking sluts in
this town, why her?”

“
It wasn’t what you thought.” I raise
my brows and he sees it. “Really, it wasn’t. I’d been out running
and damned if I didn’t run into her. I still had this stupid print
of hers. Don’t ask me why, but I did. It was in a box of my things
and I didn’t even recall having it until I moved into the city.
When I unpacked the box, I saw the print and realized it was fairly
valuable. I was gonna trash it, but then I stashed it in my closet.
After you and I ran into her in Sonoma, I decided to donate it to a
charity, but then I forgot about it.

“
That day I was running and ran into
her, I thought I’d just give the damn thing back to her. I told her
to meet me at my place to pick it up. That was it. She called right
as I got out of the shower. I ran down and unlocked the door and
told her to just come on in. So when you rang the bell, I thought
it was Iris.

“
She was only coming to pick up that
lousy print. That was it. Nothing happened between us. I couldn’t
have let it. She disgusts me, even when we saw her in Sonoma. You
were right. She’s a slut. Fallon, I haven’t been with anyone since
you. I don’t want to be with anyone. You’ve ruined me. If I can’t
have you, I may as well be a damn monk.”

I smile at his words. “That’s good.”

“
About Iris?”

“
No, about you being a monk.” I bump
him in the shoulder. “I dumped my mom.”

“
What?”

I tell him about my trip to Atlanta and he
awards me with one of his make-my-belly-clench smiles.

“
Well done, love. I wish I could’ve
been there to see you in your glory.”

“
I was pretty freakin’ awesome,” I
beam. “I went to my dad’s grave, too. I hadn’t been in six years.
It was pretty hard. I cried. Nasty cried.”

“
I wish I had been there with you. I
would’ve held you, Fallon.”

“
I know. I had to go… after the trust
and everything.”

“
Can I kiss you?” It catches me off
guard, but I don’t care; I simply fly into him.

“
What took you so long, slow
boy?”

I push him back and then I’m on top as our
mouths join together for the first time in months. I’m in paradise
again. Our moans mingle as he’s so tender with me, like I’m a
precious piece of crystal. Or as though he’s afraid I’ll run
away.

I frame his face and ask him about his new
tattoo sleeve.

“
It’s all you. Your face. Your name is
everywhere within it. You just have to look closely for the
words.”

My breath is trapped in my lungs, and I want
to love him more, if that’s even possible. I want him, all over me,
outside and in. I sit up and then stand up. My hand extends and he
grabs it.

We walk into my room when he turns me around
and asks, “Are you sure?”

“
I wouldn’t be here in this place, if
I weren’t.”

My fingers curl around the hem of his
shirt and I pull it up. I’m now staring at his body, seeing all the
new ink that wasn’t there before. There are lines everywhere… down
the side of his torso, across his left pec, beneath his triceps. On
his left deltoid, in beautiful bold script, is my
name—
Fallon Forever
. My
fingers lightly dance over it as I cock my head and stare. I’m so
taken by what I see. He’s covered his body in images and sayings of
things we professed to each other.
Two
lives, one heart, one love, endlessly for Fallon
, is
written over his heart. I stagger with emotion. I have to hold his
arms to keep from falling.

He holds me close. I’m not aware when he
lifts me and lays me down. All I know is that I’m so overcome with
love for this man, I can’t speak. That impossible moment passes and
I look at him to see those vulnerable eyes searching mine. He must
see what he wants because he smiles.

“
You wear it like a badge,” I say, my
voice catching.

“
And I will for the rest of my life. I
love you endlessly, Fallon. Always have, always will, no matter
where this road of ours takes us.”

“
I want it to take us somewhere
together. I want it to be you and me, Ryland Thomas. Let’s start
here and now, this very minute.”

“
It may not always be smooth,
love.”

“
As long as the pothole throws me into
your arms, I’ll be okay.”

“
I’ll catch you. I won’t let you fall.
I can promise you that much.”

“
Just promise you’ll love me and
that’s all I need.”

“
I’m overflowing with mistakes,
Fallon.”

“
So am I.”

“
Your mistakes are better than mine.
You made the best one with me.”

“
Stop talking already and kiss
me.”

“
No, not until we’ve figured us all
out. I’m not perfect. Tell me you understand,” he pleads

“
I do and tell me you understand I’m
not either.”

“
I do. Marry me, Fallon.”

“
Kiss me first and then ask
me.”

He finally does and it’s the best kiss of my
life. It must be pretty damn good because he’s given me some darn
good kisses in the past. How he manages to top them all, I’ll never
know, but he does it. Boy, does he ever.

I stare at her as she sleeps. I’m
afraid to close my eyes; afraid that if I do, I’ll wake up to find
it was only a dream. Can this be real? Can she really be giving me
another chance? Worry rattles me because she never answered me when
I asked her to marry me. I worry, too, because maybe that was
another bloody stupidassery thing to do. Nevertheless, I’m going to
ask her again today. I can’t sit around and not know. I
have
to know. If she says no, then
I’ll go to work, persuading her. I know one thing. No one, and I
mean no one, dammit, will ever love her more than I.

Her breathing changes. I can tell in the way
it fans across my chest. It’s more rapid now, like short bursts. I
wonder what she’s dreaming. Her legs start to twitch, slight
movements at first, but then they become fierce. Now she’s
mumbling, like she’s scared. I hold her close and rub her back. I
don’t like to feel her fear.

“
Ssh, it’s all right, love,” I
whisper. She doesn’t hear me. She’s shaking now and I can feel
moisture on my neck where her cheek meets my skin. What terrible
thing is she dreaming about?

“
Fallon. Wake up, love.” I shake her
awake.

She lifts her head and searches me out in
the dark. “Huh?”

“
You were dreaming and crying. What
had you so upset?”

“
You left me.”

“
Aw, fuck. Do you dream of this a
lot?”

“
Yeah. All the time.” Her voice is
rough.

“
I won’t ever leave you.
Hear?”

“
Love me?”

“
You know I do.”

“
No, I mean…”

I roll her on her back and kiss her. Her
lips are salty, so I move to kiss the taste of the tears away. I
lick and kiss her cheeks to erase the remnants of them there. She’s
naked and, I’m so in love with her, I just want to look at her. So
I roll to my side, lean on my elbow and rest my head on my hand.
The nightlight is casting the room in shadows and making her body
glow.

I notice her pebbled nipples so I brush my
fingers lightly over them. She shivers, so I do it again. She’s
always so responsive to every touch, soft or heavy. My fingers
trail down the curve of her belly until they reach that smooth
place between her thighs and I lightly dance over them. When I
can’t bear it any longer, I allow my lips to taste her nipples,
alternating between the two. I’m encouraged by her sighs and the
way she arches into me.

My finger slides between her folds as she
lifts her leg. I run it along her slit to find that she’s already
soaked. I slip inside her opening and hear her call out my name. I
move between her thighs and start my play; first on the inner left
one, by nibbling and sucking on her. Then I repeat that same action
on her right inner thigh and end by licking my way all the way to
her core.

She’s moaning loudly now and those lovely
thighs of hers are starting to clench against my shoulders, letting
me know her explosion is near. I don’t want her to come right now,
though. I want her to come with me inside of her. When I stop, she
protests, as I knew she would, but when I settle between her legs
and then push inside of her, she urges me on. I move one hand under
her beautiful ass and the other I lace with her fingers and pull it
next to her head. Then I kiss her as we rock against each other,
exchanging breaths as we move together.

I know she’s climaxing when I feel her
squeezing me on the inside. It makes me fall apart in her as I call
out her name. I wrap my hand in her hair and kiss her again, loving
her with everything I have.

I roll back over with her on top. “I love
you, sweet Fallon. Now go to sleep and have pleasant dreams. I’m
not going anywhere except with you, love.”

Her arm encircles my neck and she whispers
her love back to me. Then she sleeps a soundless slumber, as I lie
awake, staring at her loveliness.

***

I must’ve drifted off sometime during the
night because I wake up and Fallon’s not on top of me. My heart
kicks a bit, but I look around and settle down when I realize it’s
her bed I’m in. I hear the toilet flush and then the water running
so I know she’s in the bathroom. Then the door opens and she’s
crawling on top of me. She rubs her cheek against mine, letting my
scruff scratch her face.

“
You never answered me earlier,” I
say.

“
What did you ask me?”

“
To marry me. To be my wife. To be
Mrs. Sinclair.”

She inhales and then says, “Yes.”

“
Yes?”

“
Yes.”

I lift her up and she asks, “What are you
doing?”

“
We’re taking a shower. Then we’re
getting dressed and I’m taking you ring shopping.”

“
Ryland Thomas, it’s late and it’s New
Year’s Day.”

“
So?”

“
Everything will be
closed.”

“
Everything?”

“
Everything.”

“
Bloody hell. I finally get the love
of my life to say yes, and I can’t take her ring
shopping?”

She laughs. “I want you to surprise me
anyway.”

I must have this awful expression on my face
because she really breaks out into a laugh this time.

“
What?” I ask.