Extraordinary Losers 1 (6 page)

With that, she walked off. I had blown it. It was my first private tête-à-tête with the wonderful Miss Jacobs and all I could say was, “Hi. Okay. Yup. Heh”? Those were ape noises! Darryl, you're a wimp! Do better next time, I muttered to myself as I continued along.

Jupiter block – the tallest block – was the most underused block in the whole school, empty as air. The building was very isolated, located right at the other side of the school compound. Faint screams and cheers could be heard from the main cluster of buildings. Plodding up the steps, I thought the building vibrated a little, as if I was awakening it from its long slumber.

“Go on, Da-Da-Darryl,” Mundi encouraged. That was the last time I heard my friends. As I made my way up, their voices became out of range. It was just me. And me. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. What if this was a trap to lure me to some kidnapper's hideout or something? My resolve was beginning to crumble.

Finally, the top. The “tallest” in the riddle would logically mean the highest point in school. I hoped we had deciphered the clue correctly. If not, it would mean I had just climbed up SIX storeys for nothing.

There were three classrooms. All lined up on one side. Which was it? The old metal tables and chairs stank of rust. I recalled the riddle in my head. “But not the first and not the last” – maybe it meant not the first classroom, and not the last classroom. That would leave me with the classroom in the middle. I took a peek in, wary of any signs of life. To my surprise, there were only eight chairs and four tables that were arranged together to form a square in the centre of the classroom. “Be there and be square!” The riddles were all coming together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Spot on!

Now all we had to do was wait. Wait two weeks till the 27th of February, 2012.

When I reached home, I decided to log on to Facebook to check up on my friends. See if anyone else had latched on to the idea of solving this mystery as well. When I entered my page, I received a friend request.

“Guava has sent you a friend request. Accept or Cancel.”

“Guava?” Wait a minute, a week ago, Sophia had received a friend request from “Watermelon”. Four days ago, I had received a cryptic note with a symbol of an apple. Was it the same person behind these secret names? Why would anyone have such a boring profile picture anyway. A watermelon? A green guava? I was skeptical but I couldn't help but click “Accept”.

Lose out on a friend request? No way. To be a popular kid on Facebook, you needed to have at least 300 friends. I was only at a miserly 75. That would make me the most popular kid in my house! To my surprise, Guava reacted immediately!

“What are you doing now, Darryl?” Guava wrote on my wall.

“Nothing much. Anything but homework. Who are you? Clandestino? Janice? Mundi?” I wrote back.

“You'll find out in good time,” Guava responded. “I would like to be your very good friend.”

“How can I be your good friend if I don't know your real name?”

With that, Guava logged off. Very peculiar. The only thing I knew about Guava was that he – or was it a she? – was friendly. I had a feeling that Watermelon, Guava and the “apple note” were all somehow connected. In a very dangerous way.

CHAPTER 6: PANTS ON FIRE

February 27th finally arrived. It was THE day!

I walked to school, feeling all jazzed up. It was the first time I felt happy going to school on a Monday! The whole day was a bore for all of us. None of us could concentrate in class. Not even Mundi.

The dismissal bell finally rang! The four of us met in the canteen after school. It was 1.55pm, just five minutes till THE secret meeting. It was serious. For the first time, Janice wasn't snacking on a donut. Clandestino kept his pen in his pocket and Mundi stopped reciting math formulas.

Leonard and Justin were in the basketball court, scoring hoops. Damien was there too, honing his skills. When they saw us in the canteen, Leonard couldn't resist coming up to us.

“Hey, Dirty Darryl and his loser gang, what are you guys up to?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Darryl DUUUUUUUUUHH?!!”

“It's Darryl De,” I said, glaring at him.

“Who cares? De or Duh??!! Both sound just as silly,” Justin said, sneering. Damien pursed his lips in silence. He was stifling a laugh.

“So Darryl Duh, want to play basketball with us?” Leonard said, poking me in the chest.

“Maybe not today,” I said. “We have something on.”

“You? Something on? You actually have a life?” Justin said. Leonard doubled over in laughter at his wisecrack.

“Maybe they are going to loser camp,” Leonard said, cracking up again.

The four of us stared at the boys in disbelief. Janice did not handle the abuse very well.

“Watch it, you two!” she warned. She fished out a little black book – Names of the Notorious. Everyone knew that book. It was the book in which she recorded the names of all the people who broke the school rules.

Leonard frowned. “You seriously think that we're afraid of you? You are the BIGGEST loser of them all, Janice!”

Janice held back her tears but I could hear her breaths getting deeper and deeper. I was afraid she was going to explode into little pieces of Janice. Clandestino's face was becoming as red as a beetroot.

“Anything wrong, Clandestino?” Leonard said, nudging him. “Nose block making you red?”

“Ha! Take this!” Justin dribbled the basketball and bounced it off the ground so hard that it went in a direct trajectory towards Mundi's face. Just before it reached Mundi, Clandestino dived to intercept the ball. He landed on the floor with the basketball spinning on his finger. He rose to his feet.

“Beat this!” Clandestino was spinning the ball on his finger. It was rotating so fast, it was stirring up the air around him.

Mundi was still in shock, sputtering equations and numbers.

“Show-off!” Leonard said, attempting – but failing – to hide his envy of Clandestino's ball-twirling skills. “Let's get out of here before Mundi pees in his pants again.”

Justin snatched his ball from Clandestino. “This is not over, you guys!” he warned. “Let's settle this. Over a basketball match.”

“Okay,” I said, pretending to be brave. “When?”

“In two weeks' time. The school's Basketball Challenge!” Justin said. “Anyone can join, even losers.”

“Yeah! And no backing out. We need losers like you to make us look good,” Leonard added.

“Really? Deal!” Clandestino offered a handshake. “In two weeks' time!”

“Great!” Leonard exclaimed.

“Oh my goodness! You guys, we will never be able to beat them!” Janice said. She was hyperventilating. “They are in the basketball team. Hello?”

Justin and Leonard had sickening smirks on their faces.

“Don't worry, Janice,” I said.

Damien bit his lip anxiously.

“You'd better not chicken out!” Leonard warned.

“Yeah, you'd better not chicken out!” Justin parroted.

With that they stomped off unceremoniously.

Leonard was a shortie. He spiked up his hair with gel to make up for his shortness. Justin was taller. For a Primary 5 student, he was quite tall at 165cm. That was the only reason he was good at basketball – he was simply taller than all of us. Both Damien and Justin followed Leonard everywhere he went, even though he was the shortest.

“You haven't seen the real us yet. You have no idea,” I said.

“Oh n-n-n-no! Are you s-s-serious?” Mundi panicked. “A m-m-m-match in two weeks' time?”

The three boys were still cackling like chickens. I could hear them.

“Can you believe those fools?” Justin said.

“I can't wait!” Leonard said, all charged up.

I sighed. What had Clandestino gotten us into? I looked at my “teammates”. Mundi was far from athletic. Janice was sweating buckets and still hyperventilating from the stress of the confrontation.

“Leave me out of this!” she said. “I am no basketballer.”

There was no time to discuss the dynamics of our basketball team now. There was no way we would win anyway. Or was there?

“Come, hurry up, guys!” I said. “It is already 2.05pm!”

All four of us tore off and pounded up the stairs of the Jupiter building. All the way up six floors. Of course, Janice needed lots of pushing and pulling.

This was it. The day of… what, exactly, I wondered.

I took the lead, running straight into the middle classroom, without a thought as to what might greet us…

“Ah… Darryl, Clandestino, Mundi and Janice. So you are the ones…” Mr Grosse received us with pleasure.

Mr Grosse!? What was he doing here?

“Mr… Mr Grosse? Err, good afternoon!” I said dumbly.

Behind me, I sensed Clandestino, Mundi and Janice freeze to a standstill.

“Come! Join us, take a seat,” he smiled.

We shuffled reluctantly to the chairs and sat down. The last thing we would have imagined was this. Besides Mr Grosse, the principal, Mrs Priya, was there. She was sitting in a corner. Silent. Looking like Mr Grosse's consultant. It was odd to see him turning around constantly to seek her approval.

“Introduce yourselves, children,” Mr Grosse roared. He looked at her. “For the benefit of your royal highness.”

She nodded. Mr Grosse obviously needed a pay raise. A creepy-looking smile crept onto the principal's face.

“Clandestino Casper Chang,” Clandestino said, sniffing, mucus dripping from his nose.

“Hi, I am Janice Chan Xiao Wen. President of the Drama Club, monitress of 5B and winner of Best in English last…”

“Okay! Okay! That's enough, Janice.” Mr Grosse turned again to the principal, who was yawning.

“How about you? Stand up and greet your principal!”

“Er… I am… Darryl De,” I said, rubbing my ears. They were throbbing from his roar.

“Okay, good! The last boy over there?” He pointed at Mundi, whose heart was thumping so loudly I could hear it. I elbowed him to speak.

“Hmmmm… Ermmmm,” Mundi cleared his throat.

“Go on!” the rest of us urged. “Just say your name!”

The principal was glaring at Mundi by now.

Mundi was standing there all silent, scary numbers flashing through his amazing brain. Mr Grosse grew hotly impatient. He reached out his hands and was about to pinch Mundi when suddenly…

“I am Mundi Sakdipa.”

I turned to Mundi. He was visibly shocked! That voice hadn't come from him. It had been Janice! She had accurately impersonated him. Mundi turned to Janice and smiled. Incredible! The teachers had no idea. Mr Grosse immediately retrieved his crab claws and turned to the principal.

He whispered, “Shall I begin?”

Mrs Priya waved her polished fingers nonchalantly. Why do teachers like to evoke fear in their students? Our principal's face is always pulled so straight.

I have come to the conclusion that teachers only “act fierce” just so that we students will not climb over their heads. Teachers' Training School is probably an acting school where teachers are trained to shout, balance on high heels, carry heavy books and wear a grave face.