Extraordinary Losers 1 (8 page)

“My mistake… my mistake,” she muttered. Leonard elbowed Justin and the two boys sniggered on their way back.

“Teachers… always make mistakes,” Leonard mumbled.

“Tee hee hee,” Justin chortled on his way back.

By now, I was ready to jump out from my seat. I was sure something fishy was going on. The two of them seemed to be always spotting marking mistakes.

“Next we have… Darryl! 56/100,” Madam Siti announced.

No one clapped. The roll call continued and I realised that I was ranked among the bottom few, along with Clandestino. I looked at the red crosses all over my paper. I was feeling ashamed, but that feeling was overtaken by something else – a growing suspicion. Something was up with Leonard and Justin. I had to get a hold of their papers to investigate. But how? I needed help. I needed to meet the rest from Operation Pants on Fire.

To the Guitar Club notice board quick! The four of us had agreed yesterday that this was where we would post secret messages to each other. We had decided that it was best not to be seen talking to each other too often. So I tore a piece of paper from my exercise book and wrote a message:

During recess, I slid to the notice board, hoping to pin up my first message. But when I arrived, someone had already pinned up a note. It was a very neat note, all typed out on pristine white paper. No fingerprints. No handwriting. It was more cryptic than anything I had ever seen. It read NUMBERS!

A message from Mundi?

Brightstar's We've Got Talent Day finally arrived. The day when everyone became a performer. Except me, of course. The school hall was filled with restless children sitting according to their classes, never in a perfect line. Their white starchy uniforms made them itch so much that they could not keep still (especially Clandestino). Of course, the principal and teachers were far from understanding, since they could wear whatever they wanted. Up and down, up and down they walked, doing what they did best – pick on students.

“Darryl!” Mrs Priya glared. “Stop fidgeting!”

“Janice!” Miss Jacobs called.

“Damien!” Mr Grosse hollered. “Sit properly.”

“Good morning, principal, vice-principal, teachers and friends. I am proud to present…” said the compere on stage. The hall lights dimmed, a drum roll blasted from the speakers and disco lights shone on five women on stage. Catcalls were generously given.

“Hey, Darryl! That is your mother!” Janice blurted out. “Next to mine!”

On stage, Mum scanned the sea of Brightstars in the hall. She peered in the direction of my class. I looked down, praying she wouldn't see me.

All of a sudden, she spoke into the microphone, “Darryl! Darryl! Sophia! Come up and take a photograph with me, quick!” She was jumping with excitement.

Leonard kicked me from behind. “Go, Darryl! Your mummy's calling you!”

I had to go. My mum wouldn't have stopped calling.

Quickly, I raced up the steps. The whole school was laughing. My mother received me with wide open arms and pouting lips. Then, we were locked in an embrace for what seemed like eternity! Of course, she did all the embracing. I just stood there, red as beetroot.

Sophia was nowhere to be seen. She was probably hiding in the toilet or something. Mum was utterly thrilled to have her picture taken with me on stage. Cameras flashed from all over. Why me?

As I left the stage, the unmistakable “BA…DE… DUM… DUM!” started.

I took out my secret ear plugs from my pocket to drown out the noise. The ear wax that I had cleaned off yesterday needed about a week to build up.

Several other mothers were on stage. Janice's mother was on stage too! They had formed little groups and signed up for hip-hop dancing lessons at the community club. Too much hanging out at parent-teachers meetings did not do them and us any good.

“Mummy's boy!”

“Darryl loves his mummy.”

“Hugsy wugsy, Darryl!”

Even with my ear plugs, I could hear the taunts coming from all directions. As I headed back to my class, I caught sight of something. Justin. He was rather quiet, fiddling with something in his hand. He looked around warily. Then he saw me looking at him. In a panic, he dropped his water bottle onto the wooden floor and it rolled away. He scrambled to retrieve it. It looked like a used soft drink bottle to me. Just before I could zoom in on the object, Leonard's spiky head got in the way. His hairdo was so tall that it blocked my view. What was worse, he was headbanging to the music!

Justin caught my stare. He quickly lodged the bottle deep into his bag. I must have a look at that later. What was so special about that bottle? On stage, Mum and the other rocker mothers were still there, executing their steps. Mum was kicking the air and twirling in circles in her Super Mum outfit. Frankly, I had never seen her so electrified before! Then, the clock finally struck 10 am! Show time!

“Er, Miss Jacobs?” I raised my hand. “I am having a really bad tummy ache, may I be excused?”

She could not hear me amid the peals of laughter. I had to awkwardly point to my stomach and then my butt. She finally understood, after seeing me point five times!

“Oh! Sure!” she said, laughing. “Hurry up, so you won't miss your mum's performance.”

“Thanks!” I said, clutching my tummy. With that, I left the overcrowded school hall, away from the sweaty children and the hip-hop dancers, though I was sure I would be shown a video of it over and over again.

I slunk to the 5B classroom. Someone hadn't switched off the fan and it was churning up an eerie “I know you are here” echo. Fear told me to tiptoe. Footsteps could be heard. My heart thumped a little faster. Taking cover behind a bookcase, I studied the sounds more. Some light, some heavy, and some… bouncy.

“You're really here! No?”

“BOOOO!!”

“Ssshhh!” I frowned. “You want us to get killed? Please be silent!”

“Mundi, do you know how much time I spent decoding your secret message on the board?”

“For me, it was okay,” Clandestino boasted. “I got it in five minutes.”

“Yeah, me too,” Janice said. “You're a genius, Mundi!”

Mundi was surprised. “No. No. No, Darryl! How hard can it be? It is just comparing the numbers against the alphabetical order. No?”

“1 is A, 2 is B, 3 is C…” He blinked hard whenever he uttered a number. It was as though his eyes and his brain worked together.

Clandestino broke in, “Okay, okay, Mundi. We get it.”

The note read: (14-1)+(2+3)+(7-2)+(10+10) X (4-3)+(34-14) X (9-6)+(17-5)+(8-7)+(27-8)+(12+7) X (5) (1+1) X (18+2)+(8-3)+(30-16) X (1)(13) X (19-15)+(2-1)+(7+7)+(21-18)+(10-5)

It translated into: Meet at class 5B, 10am, dance.

“Easy, no?” Mundi added. “Really, no one looks at the Guitar Club notice board.”

“What a lame CCA,” Clandestino said. His definition of “lame” was legitimate. He was a table-tennis champion, but because he didn't do well in school, his parents had taken him out from his CCA. I can't imagine how many medals he must have kissed. The only medal I have ever won was in kindergarten for Best Dancer. That is a medal I definitely wouldn't want showcased.

“Precisely! The lamer the better,” I said. “No one bothers to view anything on it. How did you know I wanted to meet on Friday, Mundi?”

“This is our only chance, Darryl, no?” Mundi replied as he shifted his spectacles in place.

“Yeah, this is our only chance!” Janice broke in. “We'd better start!”

“Yes, good thinking. Let's look around, especially around Justin's table.”

Everyone began.

“I am sure they are hiding something. Positively, affirmatively sure,” I said. “Clandestino! Do you see any used bottle?”

“No.”

“I saw Justin fiddling with one in the school hall just now.”

“Try and look around their desks to see if they have carved any formulas and notes on them,” Janice commanded.

“Nope. I don't see anything.” Clandestino sighed.

The four of us got on our hands and knees. It was a pitiful sight, us crouching around tables. I studied every thing the morning sun fell on. As we nosed around for clues, my eyes landed on a pair of adult shoes by a table.

That's strange. What's a pair of ladies shoes doing here, attached to a pair of legs? And…

“WHAT ARE THE FOUR OF YOU DOING HERE?” a voice blustered. We all looked up. Madam Siti! Our Science teacher!

Why didn't I hear her coming? I wondered. Oh yes, the ear plugs were still in my ears!

Madam See-Me-After-School Siti was one of the fiercest teachers in school, especially if children were up to nonsense. Rumour had it that Madam Siti was dying to get married and have children of her own, but she hadn't found her Mr Right yet. So she randomly sought out kids to squeeze their cheeks! Okay, I wished I could help her with her outfit! She should let her hair down too, and not tie it up into a greasy bundle. Take it from me, I'm a guy!

“We were just, just…” Clandestino sniffled. His nose began to run. I elbowed him.

“Just what? Just stealing something?” Madam Siti said.

“No!!” we chorused.

“Then, what are you all doing here when the rest of the school, all 1,000 of them, are in the school hall?”

We could not say. Mr Grosse had made it clear that this was a top secret operation. If anyone found out about it, it would be the end. But I had to say something.

“We were just looking for something that I lost.”

“All three of you were helping Darryl?” She grimaced.

“You too?” Madam Siti pointed at Janice, an unlikely ally.

“Yes, yes,” Janice said with shifty eyes. “We were not stealing. You can search us.”

“Of all people, you, Janice! You are the monitress of the class, and you are caught fooling around?!”

“But I have a very good reason,” she said.

“Well?!”

“Well, I, er…”

“Go on!” Madam Siti persisted. She frowned, her face crumpled. Her thick layer of powder and cream cracked. Because she had blotchy patches on her skin, it made her look like a very, very, very angry and unappetising prata.