Face the Music (A Brothers of Rock - GONE BY AUTUMN - Novel) (13 page)

Blake shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. We fought for a dream for so long and we got it. We fucking got it, man. Right in our hands. But then there are so many things around us that we can't control."

“This is about Maya, isn’t it?”

“Just feels weird.”

“Brother, we’ve known her since she was a teenager. Remember picking on her when she went away for a summer and came back… you know, full?” Asher cupped his chest and laughed.

“Yeah, I remember. Damn, I remember.”

“She’s been with us for so long. She’s family. I love her to death. She’ll never get hurt. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

Blake glanced at Asher. A look flashed across his face like he had more to say than what actually came out.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Blake said. “Her getting hurt. Because… she’s family to us…”

Asher was ready to break Blake down, but his cell phone beeped. He saw a text message from Jocelyn. He bounced the phone in his hand for a few seconds, shaking his head. There were far too many questions without answers to be playing with this kind of fire. But, damn, getting burned never felt so good.

Hey. I need you.

“Look at you smiling,” Blake said. “Must be something good.”

“Yeah… it is…”

Asher wrote back, telling Jocelyn where the loft was. When he looked up, Blake had a leather jacket hooked over his finger, over his shoulder. “I’m out, bro.”

“Where to?”

“A bar. And then a bed. Hopefully not mine.”

“Good luck,” Asher said.

Asher had the place to himself. With Jocelyn coming over.

Christ… this can’t be happening like this…

Strange part was that Asher was both nervous and excited. And a woman never made him feel like that. Ever.

(11)

Asher opened the door and smiled. Jocelyn was dressed up, looking crazy seductive in her business attire. Black pants, white shirt, her hair pulled back. She looked like a corporate executive, and it was killer sexy.

“Hey there,” Asher said.

“Hi,” Jocelyn said.

That’s when Asher noticed she had a wad of neon green gum in her mouth as she nervously chomped on it.

“What’s with the gum?” Asher asked.

“Sorry.”

“Get in here. Why the hell are you sorry?”

Asher ushered Jocelyn into the loft and shut the door. He grabbed a napkin and told Jocelyn to spit the gum out. She took the napkin and spit out a large ball of gum. She then threw it out and stood there, looking embarrassed.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I smoke sometimes,” Jocelyn said. “Okay? It’s something I did to be cool in high school and I quit after college. But sometimes things get to me…”

“What do you smoke?” Asher asked with a grin.

“Not that stuff,” Jocelyn said. “I’m not the musician here.”

“Whoa, hey,” Asher said. “I just enjoy a drink here and there. That’s all. No funny grass for me.”

“Me either,” Jocelyn said.

Asher reached for her wrist and made sure she couldn’t get away. “Do you think I’d give a damn? I mean, if you told me you smoked?”

“Everyone else does,” Jocelyn said. “I’m the worse person ever.”

“Hardly, love,” Asher said. “Damn, you look so flustered right now.”

“Because…”

Asher saw it happening a second before it did.

Jocelyn damn near attacked him. She dove at him, her arms going around his neck. Her sweet body pressed hard against his. Then her lips grazed his. The way she hesitated told Asher that she wanted him to take control.

So he did.

He put his hands to her sexy waist and started to kiss her hard and fast. Her thin lips were delicious. Her mint tongue fluttered around, battling Asher’s tongue. They stood there in a full-blown make out session, Asher stretching his neck down to reach Jocelyn as she lifted up to her toes.

They broke the kiss a few times just to gently peck at each other, smiling each time they did it.

When the kiss ended, Jocelyn stepped back. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

“I don’t mind,” Asher said. “Couldn’t last long without me, huh?”

“Well, that and something else.”

“What?”

“We were caught,” Jocelyn said.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a picture of us. Online. My father found it.”

“Oh. Is that bad?”

“If you knew my father, yeah. It’s bad. Not to mention… Chad…”

Asher made fists. “Yeah? What about him?”

“He’s angry.”

“Did he… hurt you?”

“No,” Jocelyn said and stepped back even more. “No. He threatened me.”

“Christ, what did you do? Did you talk to your father about this?”

“No,” Jocelyn said. “Damnit, Asher, you don’t get it…”

“Get what? Someone hurt you, love. You can’t…” Asher sucked in a breath. He couldn't attack Jocelyn for this. “I’m sorry. Okay. What’s the problem with the picture? What can I do to help?”

“Nothing,” Jocelyn said. “I just… everyone is pissed at me.”

“I’m not. Far from it.”

Jocelyn looked at Asher. “That’s why I’m here. You make me feel okay.”

Her beautiful eyes shined. Blue. Green. They were amazing.

“I had to suffer through a pretty bad lunch,” Jocelyn said. “So I went outside and had a cigarette. Then I text you. Now I’m here. But I need to get back to work soon.”

“That’s fine. I just finished up with the band. My hand is killing me.”

“Are you allowed to play guitar?”

“Nope.”

“And you’re still going to play it?”

“Yup.”

Jocelyn smiled. “You’re pretty cool, Asher."  She looked around, "So this is… what?”

“Practice loft,” Asher said. “We used to crash here. Then we got signed and became filthy rich. But we couldn’t give the place up. So we jam here. Don’t mind the dirtiness or smell.”

“Doesn’t bother me. It’s kind of sexy. This is where Gone by Autumn writes music.”

“Yeah. A lot of our first songs were written here.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Come here, check it out,” Asher said.

He took Jocelyn’s hand and walked her to the stage. They sat on the edge and looked at each other.

“Tell me something else about you,” Asher said. “I’m killing an afternoon with a killer beautiful woman. I don’t do this kind of thing.”

“And I’m sneaking around with a rockstar. I don’t do this kind of thing.”

“Not really sneaking around…”

“Well, it’s going to be. I’m coming to that show. I just need to find a way to get away from everything without eyes on me.”

“You know, I hate that,” Asher said. “I’m not attacking you. But I hate that you feel the way you do right now. And I still don’t understand what anything is.”

“Meaning what?”

Asher couldn’t believe the words about to come from his mouth. “Is this is a friendship? Or are we having an affair?”

Why the hell should I care? She’s beautiful and she’s staring me down. Don’t complicate it.

Jocelyn’s cheeks blushed again. “That’s… I mean, I like you, Asher. Right? You’re just so cool and calm with life. I like being near you.”

“So we’re friends.”

“Yeah, sure. But we… last night. This morning…”

“I’m not saying his name,” Asher said. “But I still don’t get it.”

“What’s wrong? Have a heavy conscious about things?”

Asher laughed. He took Jocelyn by the hand. “Look at me, love. Look at my life. I’m a rockstar. I write music, play shows, cruise the road. I do whatever I want when I want to do it. Anything surrounding it is completely irrelevant to me. So if you think I care about having an affair, I don’t. You’re beautiful and I want to tear those clothes off you and have you again. Right here, right now. I’m just wondering about you. I don’t know why I care, but I don’t want you hurt.”

“That’s sweet to say,” Jocelyn said. “In a weird asshole kind of way, I guess.”

“That’s kind of my style. You’ll get used to it.”

“I just had to see you again, Asher,” Jocelyn whispered. “I can’t really answer a lot. Everything feels so fast right now. I don’t know who I can trust or what I can do. Except you make me smile.”

“Okay then,” Asher said. “Let’s smile.”

“And kiss again?”

Asher inched closer to Jocelyn and slipped an arm around her. He pulled her close until their foreheads touched. They kissed gently at first. Then came that fire in Jocelyn’s eyes that threatened to tear through Asher’s heart like a rusted razor. He never got nervous kissing someone, until now.

Their lips touched, tongues flirted, and they started to kiss again.

Asher touched her soft cheek, her left cheek, the one that had been…
hit
. It still filled him with a rage he didn’t know what to do with. Jocelyn reached up and dug her fingers into the scruff on his face.

When Asher broke the kiss, he let out a groan and gritted his teeth. “I don’t just kiss, Jocelyn.”

“What does that mean?” Jocelyn asked.

“That means if we keep kissing something else is going to happen.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that…”

“Hey, don’t give me that flirty shit,” Asher said. “I’m not playing around here. I don’t do that stuff. All or nothing, love. That’s how I make it work.”

Jocelyn stiffened and nodded. “Okay. All or nothing. So it’s going to be nothing right now. But all later on.”

Jocelyn moved from the stage, looking over her shoulder, smiling. Asher never met a woman who could be so vulnerable, strong, beautiful, and seductive all in the same goddamn minute. He couldn’t imagine the kind of pressure Jocelyn lived under and it didn’t seem fair. Not for someone who seemed so damn cool and was so beautiful. There was a sparkle in her eyes when she let her guard down.

An idea struck Asher and he pushed from the stage. He walked Jocelyn to the door and she kissed him one more time, on the cheek, and then left. He stood there and watched the way her hips swayed.
Left to right… left to right…
And she didn’t even know she was doing it or how sexy it was.

Once gone, Asher shut the door and sat back down at the table. He put his feet up and started to flex his hands. The pain wasn’t all that bad. Definitely able to work through it. Asher put his hands behind his head and thought about life. how fast it moved. How quick dreams could come and go. How one accident could have taken his hand, taken his dream, taken his life.

“What a ride,” he whispered.

The door then busted open with the entire band pouring in. That also included JT trailing behind a few steps.

“What’s this?” Ryan asked. “Is Asher sitting alone?”

“Woman just left,” Asher said, not telling a lie.

“Right here?” Tanner asked. “In here?” He smelled the air. “Doesn’t smell like sex.”

Asher shook his head. “And you guys think I’m sick.”

“Hey, we’re in,” Gabe said. “We cancelled everything so we could jam right now. Let’s do it.”

“Only if Asher can do it,” Ryan said.

“Well, if you’re taking doctor’s orders…,” Blake said with a grin.

“To hell with doctors,” Asher said. “Let’s play some rock n’ roll.”

The band moved toward the stage. Asher froze when he saw the setup for two guitarists. The standard for Gone by Autumn. He glanced back at JT still standing with his guitar case in hand.

“We need a rig for JT,” Asher said to Tanner.

“Hell yeah,” Tanner said. “Let’s grab some of the old stuff and set it up.”

Asher and Tanner went to work, making a stack of speakers and a head for JT to run his guitar through. They put the rig next to Asher’s so JT could carry the sound if Asher needed to stop playing.

The band then all took their places on stage and started to tune up. Ryan stood off the stage and ordered who needed to turn up and turn down.

Asher ran through a few riffs and his hand felt good. Not perfect, but better than the first he tried playing.

Ryan jumped on stage and threw a fist at Asher’s shoulder. “You good, man? For real?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t mess this up. If you need rest…”

“Bro, my head is spinning. Okay? If you knew what I’ve been through in the past few days.”

“The hand?”

“Life. Let’s just jam for a bit.”

Ryan walked to the mic and called the song. Blake then hit the sticks. And just like that, Gone by Autumn rushed to life. They ran through song after song, Asher and JT synchronizing as if they’d been playing for years. Able to give a nod when needed, JT knew exactly what Asher wanted him to do. And hell, if the guy didn’t start creating a third guitar part for most of the songs.

After the third song, Ryan stopped and turned his head toward Asher and JT. “That sounded amazing.”

“Talk to this guy,” Asher said and pointed to JT. “He’s got a third lick going on that’s smooth in the background.”

“I don’t want to overpower the sound,” JT said. “You know? It’s written for two guitars, not three.”

“And you’re improvising a third part,” Gabe said. “Dude, you’re wild. Let’s keep going. We have a show to get ready for.”

The band played a few more songs and then stopped. When the last song faded out, the guitars went into a screech until Tanner, Asher, and JT stopped the noise. They then all stood there in silence, looking around at each other. To Asher, it was the same feeling he had the first time he realized Gone by Autumn was a real band. It was after a band practice when they perfected two songs and wrote two more on the spot. The moment when the five of them just clicked. How it all clicked.

That was the feeling right now.

It was palpable and Blake slowly stood up. “I’ll go first. Holy shit.”

“I think that sums it nicely,” Ryan said. “We’re going to destroy this tour with Willow Son.”

“I can’t wait,” Tanner said.

“I can,” Asher said. “Do we really have to go to these meetings?”

“Just a couple,” Ryan said. “Part of the process. But stay on the high. This high.”

“We need a drink,” Blake said. He moved from his kit and dropped his sticks. “Right now. No messing around.”

Asher looked at JT. “You old enough to drink, man?”

Everyone laughed.

JT threw the middle finger and then started to two-hand tap a killer fast solo. He ripped the last note and bent it high until the guitar was crying. He turned the volume down and smiled.