Frowning, Astrid fetched the drink and set it on a box she was using as a coffee table. "Um, is everything okay?" Silly question, because she knew it wasn't, but she had never felt that comfortable around him and never quite knew how to get personal with him.
He finally lifted his head to look at her. "Why didn't you come to me?"
She straightened the peace floor pillow, propping it against the wall. "About what?"
"Your pregnancy."
"Oh..." Astrid felt her cheeks heat up, and she retreated back toward the kitchen. Damn Eppie and the small town gossip chain. "I just found out. I'm still processing."
Harlan leaned back, and he looked exhausted. "You almost died last time, Astrid."
"I know." She swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable talking about this with her brother. The day she'd called him from the hospital to ask him for help was the first time she'd spoken with him in over ten years, but he hadn't hesitated. He'd driven down to New York that night, walked into her hospital room, and rescued her, taking her out of that hell and bringing her up to Birch Crossing, the place where he'd made his own home.
She'd never been to Maine before that night, but the moment Harlan had driven her into the town center, she'd known it was the right place for her to be. Birch Crossing comforted her, despite the awkward silence between herself and the brother she barely knew.
She hadn't grown up with Harlan. His dad had split with their mother when Harlan was two, and he'd gone to live with his father. She'd never even communicated with Harlan until she was ten. She'd found his address in her mother's belongings. She'd been fascinated by the idea of a brother she'd never met, a gallant hero who could rescue her from her life, and she'd immediately written him. At the time, Harlan had been sixteen, and, according to him, totally fucked up, but he'd written back. After that, the two siblings had kept in touch, albeit somewhat sporadically.
They'd met twice before that night in the hospital three years ago. Once, when she was sixteen and she and her mom had passed through the town Harlan was living in. And then again when she was eighteen and she was on her own for the first time.
He was all she had, her dream of having a safety net. He was the one she'd called from the hospital to help her, and he'd come. She'd never given him the details of what had happened, and all he knew was that she'd been pregnant, lost the child and almost died.
She'd never forget that he'd come to help her, but at the same time, her hopes of becoming close to him had faded when she'd gotten to Birch Crossing. Upon arrival, she'd discovered she was related to a man who was so reclusive that she knew she'd never find out who he really was, or what his life had been like before he'd walked into her room that night. Harlan was an enigma, even more of an outsider than she was. He would often dump his real estate clients on another agent and then disappear into the woods for weeks at a time. No one knew where he went or what he did.
"I'm here for you, Astrid," he said, leaning forward to look at her. "Anything you need."
She smiled, her throat tightening. "We don't even know each other," she said softly. "How is that possible?"
Harlan let out a small grunt. "I haven't done right by you," he said. Regret flickered in his eyes, and secrets, dark ones, ones that he was hiding not only from her, but from the world. "But you need to know that I'm always here for you. Always."
She nodded, and let her breath out. Maybe her being pregnant would bring them together. Maybe she would finally start to connect with her brother. "I know that."
"Good." Harlan leaned back on the couch, and she noticed he was rubbing the knuckles of his right hand, as if they hurt. "Listen, I want you to move into my place."
Astrid sat up in surprise. "What?"
Harlan nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair. "It's yours. I need to take off for a while anyway." He shrugged. "I don't know how to do family, but when Eppie showed up at my place and told me what was going on... Shit." He looked at her. "This kid of yours, we have to do right by it. We were both screwed over by our mom. You got lucky not having a dad, because mine was from hell. Take my cabin. It's not much, but the roof doesn't leak and the heat works. Do your thing. Protect the baby from all the shit that goes down around us."
She leaned forward to listen, shocked by how much he was sharing. Harlan had never told her anything about what had happened to him after he'd moved out. "What was your dad like?"
Harlan shook his head. "He's dead, so he doesn't matter." Intensity burned in his gaze. "But by my soul, I swear that I won't let any kid I'm related to suffer what we did. Take my place. I'll take off and give you space. That child will never have to go through what we went through."
Astrid frowned. "Why would you leave? Why can't you stay?"
Something flashed in Harlan's eyes, something so lethal and scary that chills ran down her spine. "I will never subject a child to what I am," he said, his voice lethally quiet. "No fucking chance."
She stiffened, unnerved by the roiling darkness in his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head and touched her face. "I wish I could be more for you, little sister, but it's not safe."
"Safe?" she echoed. "Safe for who?"
"You. And the baby."
"But why—" Tires crunched in the driveway, and Astrid's heart jumped. Was Jason back?
Harlan swore and stood up. "This baby will never have to know what it's like to have a bastard father who will hurt him."
The intensity of Harlan's voice hit Astrid hard. She realized he meant it. He would do whatever it took to protect her. After a lifetime of being on her own, even when she was living with her mom, she finally had family. A brother. A brother who sort of terrified her, but that was a start. "Thank you."
The smallest hint of a smile flickered across his face as footsteps thudded on her walkway. "I mean it, Astrid. The kid is going to have a home and security, and I'll make sure it happens." Shadows were dark in his eyes. "But I need to take off for a while." He wiped the back of his hand over his brow, and she saw a bead of sweat on his forehead.
"Harlan?" She frowned. "What's wrong?"
But her brother simply shook his head. "I'm leaving in the morning." He fished a key out of his pocket and dropped it in her hand. "Live there. I don't know when I'll be back. I wish I could do more, but the safest place for you both is to not be near me."
Grim resolution darkened Harlan's face, and Astrid shivered, realizing that something very dangerous lurked inside her brother. Suddenly, his retreat to Birch Crossing didn't seem like the actions of a man following his heart.
It seemed like the actions of a man trying to outrun the devil.
Before she could ask Harlan for more details, there was a firm knock at the door. Astrid jumped. Dear God. Was it Jason? Harlan spun toward the door, his fists bunching as if he were ready to strike first at the intrusion, but she leapt to her feet and held out her hand to stay him. "I'll get it," she said, trying to keep the tension out of her voice as she walked over to the door, forcing herself not to sprint over there and fling it open.
She pulled it open and was startled to see a woman with curly, gray-streaked hair, faded jeans, perfectly applied makeup, and fairly significant diamond stud earrings standing on her step. Astrid managed a brief smile. The woman looked familiar, but she couldn't place her. "Can I help you?"
The woman smiled, but her eyes were so full of such intense scrutiny that Astrid stood taller and pulled her shoulders back, wishing she'd brushed her hair before answering the door.
"My name is Henrietta Sarantos," the woman announced. "I'm Jason's mother."
Jason's mom. Of course that's who it was. Why was she at the door? Astrid's heart began to race. Had Jason told his parents about her? "It's nice to meet you," she managed. What did Henrietta know?
Jason's mom gave her a cursory nod, as if she could barely be bothered with pleasantries. "Won't you come to dinner at the main house tonight? We brought takeout. We'd love to have company."
There was no warmth in Henrietta's voice, and a cold chill slithered down Astrid's spine. She looked past Henrietta and saw Noah and Jason's dad walking into the house carrying two shopping bags from Wright's. Where was Jason? Why wasn't he the one inviting her? Sudden resolution coursed through her, and she shook her head. She did not need to go where she wasn't welcome. She wasn't that desperate anymore. "Thank you, but I'm having dinner with my brother, Harlan."
Henrietta looked past her, and her eyes widened noticeably. "So, he really is your brother?"
Harlan walked up beside Astrid and set his hand on her shoulder. His fingers dug in, and she could sense the tension roiling off him. "Of course I am."
"Well." Henrietta looked back and forth between them. "Then I suppose you both should come."
Astrid gritted her teeth at the coolness of the reception. "Thank you, but—"
"Sure, we'll be there. Give us five minutes." Harlan reached past Astrid, extending his hand. "Harlan Shea. Nice to meet you, Henrietta. Sorry we didn't get properly introduced before."
Henrietta narrowed her eyes as she shook Harlan's hand. "Yes, well, then we will see you both in a few minutes."
She excused herself and scurried down the pathway toward the house, not even looking back as she ducked inside.
Astrid glared at Harlan. "Why did you accept? Didn't you see her hostility? I don't need that—"
"No, you don't," Harlan agreed. "But that woman is going to be the grandmother of your child. I'd rather find out what kind of world my nephew or niece is coming into than leave it to chance." His eyes flashed. "If you need to disappear, I'll help you. I can make you vanish."
Astrid stared at Harlan as the meaning of his words sank in. She didn't know which was more terrifying, the idea that her brother knew how to make her vanish, or the idea of Jason's parents trying to take her child. "You think they'll try to take the baby from me?"
"They have money. You don't. The playing field isn't even, and I want to know what we're dealing with." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Come on, sis, let's go meet the rest of the family. I need to know that you're safe before I leave town."
Holy cow. She was supposed to go to dinner with Jason's parents so she and Harlan could assess whether they were going to try to take the baby? Terror licked at her heart, and she gritted her teeth. She was tired of being afraid that someone would find her inadequate and unworthy. So damn tired of it.
"Wait." She let go of Harlan and ran back into her bedroom. "Just a sec." She yanked open her closet and grabbed her favorite skirt, a shimmery ankle length skirt that flowed around her legs like the softest caress. It was black-based, with intense color swirls of blues and greens, and it always reminded her of the ocean, of the freedom that the huge expanse of water could offer. She quickly pulled it on, and then donned a cream-colored tank top that hugged her curves and always made her feel beautiful and strong. She quickly touched up her makeup, checked her hair, and then grabbed her favorite pair of earrings, the ones that were two intertwined hearts. One for her, one for the baby.
She paused to inspect herself in the mirror, and smiled at what she saw. Yes, there were still bags under her eyes from so many days of not sleeping and all the stress, but she looked like a woman who deserved to be listened to. She didn’t look like a homeless waif who didn't deserve to be noticed. Astrid smiled and nodded. "Okay, then," she whispered. "Bring it on."
As she hurried out of the room, she saw the man's bracelet on her table that she'd started to design for Jason. The word
FIRE
blazed up at her. Fire. Dammit. She was tired of being ignored and underestimated. She grabbed the bracelet and fastened it around her wrist as she headed out into the living room.
Harlan let out a low whistle the moment he saw her. "Hell, Astrid. When did you grow up?"
She lifted her chin. "I grew up the day Mom brought her first boyfriend home when I was five. He passed out in the living room half-naked, with Mom on top of him."
Harlan's face darkened, and anger flashed across it. "Shit, Astrid. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you."
Astrid's throat tightened, and she pulled her shoulders back. "You're here now," she said softly. "And I appreciate it."
Harlan nodded. "You ready?"
She nodded, wishing that Jason was going to be there. Or maybe not. Would he make it better or worse? Not that she needed him. She'd relied on Paul to shield her from his parents, and he'd failed. No more relying on anyone else. She thought of Emma and Clare, and even Eppie and Judith, and how they'd stood by her even when they'd learned the truth about her. Harlan was there, too. She had her team now, for the first time in her life, and people like Henrietta Sarantos couldn't hurt her anymore. This was her life, and she was taking control. Confidence suddenly rushed through her. "Let's do it."
Harlan grinned. "Damn, sis, you're a knockout when you're pissed."
Astrid burst out laughing as she headed toward the door. "Thanks, I think."
"Anytime," Harlan said, pulling the door shut behind them. "You'll bring Sarantos to his knees, and that's the way it should be."
She was still smiling as she walked up the pathway to the house whose windows she'd peered into a thousand times, longing for it. And now, it was occupied by a woman ready to reject her.
Screw the house. It was just a house.
It was she who mattered. The only way anyone could take away her self-respect was if she let them, and damn, she was tired of that.
She fisted her hands, ran her finger over the inscription on her bracelet, and then went into the lion's den.
* * *
Jason sped down his driveway, the gravel spinning up from his tires. His jaw was still aching from where Harlan had hit him, and he was frustrated as hell that he'd been tied up with contractors when his parents had decided to take Noah home.