Faithfully (25 page)

             
I felt like I had just closed my eyes when it was time to get up. I was in the shower longer than I wanted to be. Alex tried talking me into letting him stay while I wrote, but I kicked him out. He promised to be back by the time Derek arrived with the girls.

             
I struggled to get my words down on paper, but Michael didn’t seem too irritated with me. He did write down a date for a meeting we would need to make in New York. It was the week after closing and during the week I still had off. I told him I would figure things out with the girls.

             
Derek finally arrived with the girls, and they showed me all of their wonderful presents. Everything seemed to be returning to normal. Alex even managed to make dinner on time.    

~
20~

The week went by quickly. Derek stayed a few days to help with the girls and the pub, but he had to get back to work. Alex was wrapping up the album with Paige and getting ready to head out on a PR trip. I was still trying to find time for everything. Michael was still hanging around, and it irritated the crap out of Alex.

Today was the final day at the pub
, and we decided to open early. Alex had agreed to get the girls after school and watch them until Lexi could get there. My mom had offered to take them, but the girls were too active and my dad still needed rest.

It was after three when I answered the pub phone. It was Kate from school. Alex failed to pick up the girls and she wasn’t sure what to do with them. I asked her to bring them to the pub. I called Alex as soon as I got off the phone with her, but it went straight to voicemail. I then sent him a text, which was not answered.

When the girls showed up, I didn’t know what to do with them. The pub usually was calm this time of day, but it being the last day it was opened made for a bigger and rowdier crowd. I walked them to the office until I could figure out what to do. I was about to call my mom when Michael walked into the office.

“Do you want me to take them for a bit?” He was a
lifesaver. We worked out the schedule and I explained when Lexi would be there. The girls agreed to behave and not give him any trouble. I owed him big time for helping like he was.

Around an hour
later, Alex came rushing in the door. I didn’t even want to talk to him. He kept pushing to talk, so I finally walked into the storeroom with him.

“I’m sorry, we were wrapping up and finishing the album and I didn’t see the time.” He sounded sorry, but I didn’t care.

“This is the only thing I’ve asked of you since this has all happened. I asked you for one thing; to pick up the girls.”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“I heard you, but sorry doesn’t always work.” I turned my back to him and took in a few deep breaths.

“
I said I’m sorry, but I have my own responsibilities.” I quickly turned around.

“You are right, they are my responsibility
, and I shouldn’t have asked you to help. I’m sorry.” I shot past him and he grabbed my arm.

“Abby, I didn’t mean it like that.” His voice changed.

“You might not have meant to say it, but you said it.” Shaking his hand off my arm, I walked out of the storeroom.

Alex left and the night went on. I was in a funk all night and did my best to make conversation with the customers.

When I got home, I saw Alex’s Jeep in the driveway. He was waiting up for me in the living room.

“Where is Lexi?” I said as I took off my shoes.

“I told her I would take the girls.” He stood up and walked over to me. “Why was Michael watching the girls when I got here?”

“Because they were brought to the
pub and he didn’t want to see them stuck there.” Alex had some nerve questioning me on this.

“I said
I was sorry.” His voice was soft as he tried to reach for me, but I pulled away.

“You did, but you also made it clear
that they aren’t your responsibility.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I have become way too comfortable asking for help, and I need to go back to handling them myself. It’s my fault.” Alex was shaking his head. “Look, you leave on Sunday to start promoting the album. This might be a good time for us to step back and think about things.”

Alex was shaking his head no again. “No, that isn’t what I want.” His voice cracked a little.

“No, but it’s what I need. We clearly rushed into this, and I need to take a step back and focus solely on the girls.” I was proud of myself for not breaking down. I was being strong even though I wanted to die inside.

“This is fucking ridiculous.” Alex now looked pissed.

“I’ve had a long night. I need to shower and to go to bed.” I walked over and grabbed his jacket from the hook. Alex looked shocked and hurt, but I wasn’t backing down. He grabbed the jacket and opened the door to leave.

“Please don’t do this
,” he begged. I reached up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss.

“Good
night, Alex.” I shut the door behind him.

I was able to make it into the shower before I broke down. My heart felt broken. I kept wondering if I overreacted, but his words kept haunting me in my mind. It was true
, they weren’t his responsibility, but I never would have thought he of all people would say it.

I crawled into
bed and tossed and turned most of the night. When I woke the next morning, I could hear the girls downstairs laughing. I heard a male voice and jumped out of bed. I was mad Alex would show up and use the girls to break down my wall. When I rounded the corner to the kitchen, I didn’t see Alex, but Michael. I stopped in my tracks. I was surprised.

“
Morning. I thought you could use some sleep after your long day.” He was taking pancakes off the griddle.

“Mom, Michael said he would take us ice skating so you could work.” Lily was all excited.

“If it’s okay with your mom, of course.” Michael shot me a smile.

“I just got up
. Give me a minute to put a decent thought together.” I walked over to get coffee. I didn’t see any reason why they couldn’t go with him. I did sign the contract, and I needed to get the next chapter done in the book.

“Fine, I guess you can go, but you have to listen and behave.” The girls were jumping up and down. “And you have to eat all your breakfast.” I
heard a moan escape them.

They ate and were out the door before noon. I was in a pair of
sweats and on the couch with my laptop, but I was struggling to write. The girl in my story was strong and in love. I was having a hard time connecting with her today.

I heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it. I saw Alex at the door.
He looked tired. I opened the door, but didn’t say anything. I thought I said everything the night before.

“I’m leaving first thing in the morning. I thought I could see the girls before I left.”

“They aren’t here. They went ice skating.” I was pretty frigid as I spoke.

“Do you think Lexi would care
if I popped over to see them?” His hands were now in his pockets.

“
Actually, Michael stopped over today to take them. My contract requires me to give him a chapter by tomorrow, so he was trying to help me out.” I may have put a little emphasis on help.

Alex’s face changed and he seemed pissed. “You let Michael take them
? Why?”

“
Alex, I just explained why. It isn’t a big deal. I’ll tell them you stopped over and, if you want, I’ll have them Face Time you tonight.” I wouldn’t have the girls cut contact with him, since it would actually be worse for them if they did.

“Would you please?” He took his hand out of his pocket and reached for my hand, but I tucked it
away. “I’m sorry. I love you, I love those girls, and I fucked up.”

“They love you
too. I’ll have them call you tonight.” I shut the door and the tears were falling down my face. I loved him too, but I couldn’t say it.

Alex left and the girls continued to talk to him every night. He tried to call me, but I had nothing I wanted to say to him. I spent the days during the week closing up the pub
, packing and putting things away. The girls and I made several trips over to visit my dad, and I was happy with the improvements I saw in him.

Johnny got back from LA and I tried getting him to tell me why he went back and what happened with Sam, but he was too busy trying to talk to me about Alex. He tried explaining all the stress Alex was under, but I felt what he said was unforgivable. Johnny never seemed to stay around when Michael was around, which he seemed to be more and more. I was hoping after this
meeting he would be heading back to his office and stay in New York. The only good thing out of everything was once the girls were in bed I was able to get a lot of writing done, and I was ahead of my contractual obligations at the moment.

My final week off and the pub was officially closed and shut down. I was scheduled to fly to New York in a day and was a tad nervous and unsure of what to expect. I had my bags packed and ready.
I kept telling myself all I was doing was pitching my outline and explaining the characters. I felt it should be easy since it was basically based on my life with David.

The morning I was flying
out, I drove the girls to school and explained the next few days. I would only be gone two nights and home to pick them up from school on Friday.

Michael and I drove to
a commercial airport a few hours away. I wasn’t very talkative, but he continued to talk. At times he was tapping my leg to get my attention. I felt my phone buzz and pulled it out to look at it.

I’ll be home this weekend. Can we please talk?

It was from Alex and I didn’t respond at first. I knew I had to be an adult and talk to him. I was hurting and needed to get things out. The only good thing was my writing was flowing and I was able to express my feelings through the words on the screen. I sent a text back that simply read:

Fine
.

The airport was
small, so getting to where we needed to be was simple and fast. I was sitting next to Michael and I didn’t feel like talking. I pulled out my laptop once I was allowed and threw on a pair of headphones. Subconsciously, I had hit repeat on the song Faithfully by Journey. I loved that song, and it reminded me of Alex. When I finally realized what I was listening to the majority of the flight I turned the music off.

When we
landed, I took a taxi to the hotel and Michael was going back to his apartment. He told me he would meet me for dinner and pick me up in the lobby. I was staying at a hotel off Times Square. After I checked in, I sat in the window of my hotel room for a good hour and just people watched. The sights of big cities always amazed me.

I talked to Lexi
. She and Johnny were taking the girls out to dinner, and both were staying at the house with them. Lexi seemed pleased when Johnny had offered the extra help while I was gone. I thanked them both for their help. Johnny was full of questions; about where I was staying, what I had planned, but I didn’t have a lot to tell him or answers to most of the questions.

I finally threw on a jacket and headed out for a walk. It was chilly
, and walking out in the cold was something I didn’t feel like doing, so I headed back to the hotel to wait for Michael to show up for dinner. I was tired and decided to take a nap.

I heard a knocking at the door and opened it. Michael seemed annoyed
that I hadn’t met him in the lobby or answered the text messages he had sent me. I tried to explain I had fallen asleep, but it didn’t seem to matter. We ended up deciding to miss the dinner he had planned and chose to eat at the hotel bar.

We sat at a small high top table with televisions all around us. They ranged from sports to CNN. I wasn’t interested in one particularly, but I didn’t feel like talking to Michael about the meeting or anything else for that matter. I skimmed the menu and placed
an order. It wasn’t until I saw the screen for Inside Edition that I came off my stool and stared at the screen. It was numerous pictures of Alex with Paige. None of them showed anything incriminating, but it was hard not to be upset seeing the pictures that were taken over the week of the two of them.

The next time the waitress came
by I ordered a margarita with an extra shot of tequila on the side. I hadn’t drank in a long time, but needed to take off the edge. I ended up having a few, and by the end of dinner I knew had I drank too much. I really had to concentrate on Michael’s mouth when he talked. It didn’t matter how much I drank, the jealous feeling wouldn’t go away. The more I felt it, the more I wanted to hate Alex for allowing me even to feel like this.

After
dinner, I decided just to go back to my room. Michael walked me back, but I couldn’t even say goodnight because I was hitting the bathroom and throwing everything up from dinner. I finally managed to pick myself up off the floor, brush my teeth, and wash my face. I exited the bathroom and saw Michael in the chair next to the small desk.

“I called room service to get you some ginger ale.” He stood up to help me over to the bed, but I shook him off. I crawled under the covers and fell asleep. I woke to
someone knocking on the door. I looked at the clock and saw it was around nine.

“Don’t
worry, I’ll get it.” It was Michael. I was surprised he was still there.

I heard voices which sounded like arguing. I tossed the covers off and managed to get to my feet. My head and gut was still off and the
motion of walking made me feel like I was going to puke again. When I came around, I saw Alex at the door, and he and Michael looked like they were in a heated discussion. Before I could say anything, I was in the bathroom again. I was heaving over the toilet for the second time when I felt hands holding my hair and rubbing my back. When I collapsed to the floor, I was scooped up onto a lap and a cold washcloth was placed on my head.