She turned toward him, moving slow like molasses. He was quiet and still, waiting for her. She thought about what he’d shared. They were a t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs away
from something he’d never done before.
Both of them naked
. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long, slow, appreciative kiss. “I want you to come next.”
His erection strained against her belly. She glanced down and he groaned.
“Blow jobs are fair game on the second date.” She licked her lips. “Do you want me to put some clothes on first?”
“Don’t you dare.” He palmed
her butt and pulled her close, dragging his hand down her thigh and lifting it so he could fit his leg between hers. “We should talk about a couple of things first. I’m clean—my risk is pretty low, but I get tested regularly anyway. And I’m okay if you want to use condoms for everything.”
God, she hadn’t even thought about that when he’d gone down on her. She was a horrible person.
No, just less
experienced than he might think
. “I just had a physical last month. And I haven’t been with anyone since the spring.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not on any birth control, because my chances of getting pregnant are so low. It’ll have to be condoms for sex.”
“I figured.” His voice rumbled in his chest as he tugged her even closer. “I stocked up.”
She bit her lip and smiled into his t-shirt.
“This is a lot of talking…”
“Something I learned in health class in grade nine that’s stuck with me all these years. If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doin’ it.”
“You sure can talk about it.” She slid her hands under his t-shirt, looking for more of his warm skin and hard muscles to ground her, remind her this was really happening. She was naked in her bed with Jared, talking about
sex. Like responsible adults. What a novel concept.
“Give it a go,” he said roughly. She glanced up at him and the look in his eyes took her breath away. He was staring at her like he wanted to eat her up. Or have her eat him up while he lazily spanked her bottom or something similarly filthy. “That. Whatever just made you take that adorable-as-hell little breath. Tell me that.”
“Maybe I should
give you a blow job,” she said slowly, placing each word carefully in front of the one before. This was new territory for her. “I want you in my mouth. I want to lick you all over.” He groaned and guided her hand to his waistband. Pride flooded her body and spurred more words. “Do you want me between your legs, looking up at you?”
She slipped her hand inside his shorts and wrapped her hand around
him. His hand joined hers, and she let him take over, fisting his erection up and down as she slid down his body. She pressed a kiss to the bare skin at the top of his sculpted hip, ignoring the almost irresistible cock a few inches to her left. He needed to be naked first. She moved lower still, kneeling between his legs. His thighs were long and heavily muscled, and he was tan all over.
“What
are you thinking?”
She skimmed her palms up his legs and grabbed the bottom of his boxer-briefs. “I’m wondering if you have any tan lines.”
“You should definitely investigate further.” Electricity crackled between them as she tugged his underwear off. His erection, still wrapped loosely in his fist, bobbed free, thick and heavy. Her own sex swelled at the sight. She wanted that inside her, and
she wanted it now. But she wanted to taste him, too—that hadn’t just been dirty talk. She wanted to rub herself all over him and tug on him, kiss and lick him…there was no end to the list of ways she wanted to enjoy his magnificent body.
He was tan all over, but lighter right in the middle. “You have the most gorgeous skin tone,” she breathed, crawling toward him on all fours. “I could look at
you all night, but it’s getting late, and I’m…hungry.”
He spread his legs wide as she slid her hands toward his core again, and when she glanced toward him his gaze was almost entirely hooded. Almost. She could still feel the heat in his eyes, and it felt
good
. She let out a long, slow breath as she watched drops of pre-come form at his tip. With one hand, she cupped his sac and with the other
she gently circled the head of his shaft, using her thumb to spread that moisture around before lowering her mouth and sucking him in. Just the tip at first, then deeper with each bob, her hand moving up and down as if an extension of her lips. Almost immediately he started groaning and bucking, but then his hands fell away from his hips and he clenched his fists into her bedding. Just like that
he found his control again.
Well, that wouldn’t do.
“This is a first for you, isn’t it?” she asked after swirling around his thick crown with her tongue. “I’m naked. You’re naked. On a bed.”
“Twist this way, angel, and I’ll spank your ass for teasing me,” he groaned.
“Maybe I want you to,” she taunted, sliding her wet mouth back down his length.
He groaned again, and oh boy, did she love
rendering him speechless. On either side of her body, his legs flexed and bowed. She bobbed her head again, then pulled back and took over with her hand, jerking him off as she watched, her head bowed, her hair falling around her. Jared’s breathing picked up, and he lifted his hands off the bed, touching her hair and her shoulders, before reaching for her breasts. His touch was needy and searching.
Just as Cassie recognized the move, Jared hauled her up onto his body. She kept her hold on his cock as she straddled his lap, slowing the motion of her hand as her clit made contact with the base of his shaft.
“Do we need a condom?” she asked quietly, watching his face.
He shook his head. “We’re going to wait. I just want to feel you like this.” He reached for a pillow and jammed it behind
his head, his gaze stuck on her the whole time.
“Look down,” Cassie whispered.
He laughed, a nervous, strained sound that seemed so out of character compared to his usual confidence. “If I look, I might blow.”
She loved him for admitting that. “Then blow,” she crooned, arching her back and cupping her breasts. That dragged his attention to her chest, and with a growly moan, she slid her hands
down her torso, pulling his gaze with them. To his engorged erection, shiny again with the proof of how close he was, and the soft cushion of her sex underneath it. “Are you gonna come for me, baby? Come on my hand?”
She stroked him lazily as he gripped her thighs and thrust into her hand. The rock of his pelvis under her rubbed through her slick folds and she had the vague idea that she could
come again, too, but not as quickly as he was going to. He’d made her come twice today already. This was just for him.
Cassie didn’t know a lot about hand jobs. Five years of sex with her ex-husband and never once had she jerked him to completion. She hadn’t wanted to give Craig the dentist a blow job on their second date, so she’d started something like this, but he’d taken over and finished
himself. She didn’t have any lube around—she and Mitch had never used it much.
Natural lubricant, though, she had a ridiculous amount of at the moment. She reared up on her knees and Jared gasped, but she wasn’t about to violate his trust like that. She shook her head. “I just need a little help.”
She slid her hand between her legs, getting her fingers all slippery before settling back in his
lap. Now his cock worked more easily inside the tight ring of her fingers. Her hand couldn’t quite encircle his girth so she twisted her wrist as she pumped up and down, relishing his sighs and groans as she hit all the right parts of him with her fingers. He was watching her, but with each squeeze at the base of his cock, his head tipped further and further back until he was staring at the ceiling.
He made a noise in the back of his throat, something totally primal and unbelievably hot, and then he jerked, sending a splash of hot, white fluid onto her fingers.
“God, keep going,” he muttered, his hand covering hers when she stopped. Slowly she milked the rest of his release, enjoying the mess.
Isn’t it all messy?
His earlier question bounced through her head. Yeah. When it was good, it
was messy. She hadn’t had enough of that in her life. Without a worry about the stickiness—because that was what showers were for—she folded forward and slid against his body until she was nestled in the curve of his arm.
“Damn, Cassie.”
She peeked up at him. He was still breathing hard, but his ability to pull himself together was impressive. Jared-in-charge was back in the building. That
was fine by her—bossy Jared turned her on. “You told me to say what was on my mind.”
“That was the single most hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said slowly before kissing her soft and deep. “You touching yourself. I want to see you get yourself off. I want you to touch yourself when I’m inside you. I want you to—”
She pressed their lips together to silence him, then shook her head. “Baby, I
want a shower. And then sleep.”
“Together, right? I can stay over?”
He took her breath away. “Yes. I want you here when I wake up.”
He grinned. “For breakfast. And then sex.”
“You’re insatiable.” She rolled off the bed and he let out a long, low whistle at the sight of her bottom.
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, Cassie Bronson.”
Damn, that did nice things to her insides. “I could
fall so hard for you, Jared Sutter.”
He stood to follow her, a strange look on his face.
“Too much too soon?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Hardly. I might already be there.”
— NINE —
After showering and pulling on a basic layer of clothing—Jared in his boxer-briefs, Cassie in a t-shirt and panties—they crawled back into bed. As promised, Jared sprawled in the middle, pulling her on top of him. One hand possessively cupped her hip, his long fingers curving around her butt cheek. The other stroked her hair. It took him a while to speak and when he did, she let him.
“I meant what I said, Cass. You’re the type of woman to make a man want everything he can’t have in life.”
She should have known there’d be an asterisk on his declaration of falling for her. “This feels a lot like you have me in your life,” she countered lightly. It was already technically Christmas Eve. No way was she letting him break up with her before they spent the holidays together. Or
ever.
“Until I go on tour. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“Maybe we should talk about this in a couple of weeks. Go on a few more dates. Actually have sex. Maybe it’s a moot point and we’ll lose interest in each other.” She meant that to be light as well, but her voice cracked.
“I’m pretty sure what we just did counts as sex. And really, we’ve been dating as friends for months now.”
“So what
are you saying?”
His grip tightened around her and she matched his gesture, wrapping her arms more snuggly around him as well.
“I don’t want to assume anything here, angel.”
“I don’t follow.”
“What do you see in your future?”
A tall, strong, kind, and noble Navy SEAL who comes and goes
. But she wasn’t going to admit that just yet. “I like being a real estate agent. I want to buy my own house.
Find someone to share it with me.” She took a deep breath, because this was where she feared their paths diverged. “Not right now, but sometime in the near future, maybe children.”
It took him a long time to respond and when he did, his voice was raw. “You deserve all of that.”
“It’s okay if that’s not what you see for yourself. It doesn’t change that I want you here and now. It doesn’t change
anything between us.”
“It kills me that another man will give you all of that happiness.” The rawness of his voice shocked her, and she wanted to prop herself up on her hands and look at him, but she didn’t want to risk shutting down the conversation, either.
“You’re giving me the happiness I need right now,” she whispered. “That’s all hypothetical. All I need right now is to feel beautiful
and wanted.”
He stroked her hair. “I almost lost it on Saturday night when you asked me to zip up your dress.” He ran his hand up her spine. “All this bare skin… God, never doubt how sexy you are to me, Cass.”
She pressed a kiss to his neck. “That’s all I need from you, baby. Don’t worry about the rest.”
— —
Cassie drifted off soon after that, but Jared stayed awake long into the middle
of the night.
He wanted to be the man she wanted for the rest of her life. It was crazy, totally insane, but he knew with every fiber of his being that Cassie was the one for him.
And she just wanted sex.
A small part of him tried to say that wasn’t quite what she’d said, but the bigger part—the unexpectedly emotional part that he’d kept locked down good and tight until this week—felt like
he’d been weighed and measured and come up wanting.
Except she wasn’t rejecting him. She just wasn’t asking him for anything.
Fuck, he wanted her to ask him for the moon. He didn’t have the education or flight experience to be an astronaut, but he’d make it happen. He’d do anything for her. He’d die for her.
Damn it.
In his late-night wallowing, he’d forgotten that
he
was the one who’d thrown
up those boundaries and for good reason. Because he could die and leave her alone. And before that happened, he’d leave her alone, over and over again.
That Cassie wanted him at all was a miracle. That she’d accept he could only give her a few months was icing on top. Dawn was breaking as he finally drifted off. Cassie had rolled onto her side as she’d fallen asleep, and he wrapped himself around
her again.
When he woke up, he was alone and the scent of coffee wafted from the kitchen. He made a quick pit stop in the bathroom to wash up, then found Cassie in the kitchen. She was wearing the same thing she’d slept in, a t-shirt and panties, and the sight of her tapping a spatula against her long, bare legs instantly made him hard.